No.34837[Last 50 Posts]
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No.34838
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No.34840
>>34838
Who's this qt 3.14?
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No.34841
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No.34898
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No.34901
>>34838
>>34841
Please. Mavis >>>>>>> 3DPD
At least you could have posted Kirsten Dunst from Interview with the Vampire or that cute redhead from True Blood.
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No.34910
>>34840
very cute vampire Ava
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No.34911
>>34837
>tfw no vampire gf sucks your blood through your dick
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No.34912
>>34901
Mavis is alright, she's no Kristen though
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No.34913
>>34910
Is the movie worth watching? I hate Tilda Swinton and don't really care about Tom Hiddleston.
>>34912
That's a man, baby.
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No.34914
Speaking of vampire girlfriends, how do you go from this…
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No.34915
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No.34916
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No.34917
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No.34918
>>34913
>I hate Tilda Swinton
Probably not then, it's just about two cool vampires in love.
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No.34919
>>34918
They also live the NEET dream life.
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No.34924
>>34918
So basically it's like Twilight for hipsters?
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No.34925
>>34917
2D shouldn't enter the 3rd dimension…
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No.34949
Lucy is best Vampyr waifu
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No.34954
>tfw im a vamp from transylvania with no gf
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No.34960
>>34949
Who?
>>34954
>bite cute girl on the neck
>turn her into a vampire
>she's forced to obey all your orders because you 'made' her
Come on, are you even trying?
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No.35091
Yesterday I just had this thought. Since /x/ is a dead board, but still somehow alive, our mascot should be a vampire girl, or a zombie, or a ghost.
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No.35102
>>34960
Lucy Westernra from Dracula, specifically this one is from the 1992 film by Francis Ford Coppola. Definitely worth a watch, although be warned Keanu Reeves is hilariously terrible in it and will potentially ruin the movie (even he admits as much).
>>34949
I prefer the Lysette Anthony version of Lucy from Dracula Dead and Loving It.
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No.35142
>>34925
But the original was 3D, wasn't it?
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No.35145
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No.35166
>tfw no big tiddy goth gf with feet
>tfw no lite-goth autistic gf
Why even live brodies.
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No.35173
>>35166
I feel like a goth gf would be fun for a while but it would end with you getting your heart broken. They seem even more insecure and unstable than normal girls, and that combined with the fact that they reject social norms means that she would probably cheat on you eventually. I had a gf like that (not goth though) and that's how it went. We enjoyed being alone together, but in the end she turned into a total slut and didn't even feel bad about it.
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No.35174
>>34837
Over time every girl will suck the life out of you.
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No.35218
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No.35274
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No.35276
>>35174
Underrated post.
>>35218
I'm not a fan of the red eyes and double canines, to be honest.
>>35274
She's literally a normal girl most of the time, and a murderous mindless beast when she transforms. Why would you want that?
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No.35282
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No.35380
>Blood sucking vampire meme
All women are energy vampires whether they know it or not. That's where Tantra comes into play, so you aren't losing all your vital energy by instead having a mutual connection.
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No.35386
>>35380
Isn't tantra that thing where you fuck her for hours but aren't allowed to cum? Why would you give yourself blue balls? What's the point of having tantric sex? A true man empties his balls in less than 1 minute and then goes back to playing videogames.
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No.35488
A short list of reasons why vampires make shit waifus:
>sucks your blood, which is painful, leaves track marks all over your body and makes you both lethargic and perpetually sickly
>probably needs more blood than you can provide, which means you're either constantly acquiring blood bags or in an open relationship
>carries unknowable quantity of transmittable diseases and infections since she's always biting people
>basically an illegal resident who relies heavily on fake documents, meaning the feds might get you at any time
>constantly moving like a gypsy or lives deeply enmeshed in vampire society, to avoid people finding out her true nature
>restricted to a purely nocturnal lifestyle which prohibits you from being a functional member of society (something she might require of you as a mortal)
>probably worse with modern technology than your oldest living relative since she likely remembers when cars were a revolutionary invention
>emotionally manipulative and oversexed by her very nature
>dangerous and has almost definitely killed before so you'll be afraid to disagree with her
>attracts psychopathic hunter types who want to kill her and you for shits and giggles
>if you ever have sex, it will be like rutting with a corpse, so even if you can get your frigid phallus erect, it will be pure friction
>even if she turns you into a vampire, she's definitely a Jewess and has made you a member of the tribe
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No.35544
>>35488
Can't the friction make her insides hot?
Kissing must be really weird though.
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No.35546
>>35488
>sucks your blood, which is painful, leaves track marks all over your body and makes you both lethargic and perpetually sickly
>Not enjoying a bit of biteplay
Gee, get a surrogate blood harvester if you're so much of a pussy smh
>probably needs more blood than you can provide, which means you're either constantly acquiring blood bags or in an open relationship
She will just resort to steal bloodbags from the hospital
>carries unknowable quantity of transmittable diseases and infections since she's always biting people
Hospital blood bags are clean
>restricted to a purely nocturnal lifestyle which prohibits you from being a functional member of society (something she might require of you as a mortal)
Literally me
>probably worse with modern technology than your oldest living relative since she likely remembers when cars were a revolutionary invention
Old people are bad with modern technology because that developed in their old age when their ability to learn about this stuff has already gone downhill
Vampire gf would not have this problem because eternal youth
Also
>Implying supernatural qts need to be technologically savvy
>emotionally manipulative and oversexed by her very nature
AKA woman
>if you ever have sex, it will be like rutting with a corpse, so even if you can get your frigid phallus erect, it will be pure friction
>Not wanting to snuggle with her unnaturally cold body
>even if she turns you into a vampire, she's definitely a Jewess and has made you a member of the tribe
>Not wanting a qt jewfu
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No.35548
>>35544
Yeah but before it does that, it would destroy your dick.
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No.35554
>>35548
probably literally
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No.35708
>>34837
Here. You can have mine.
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No.35709
>>35708
She's out of my league unfortunately.
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No.36179
>Not enjoying a bit of biteplay
But difference between the bite of a human and the piercing bites of a vampire. And if you are not up for it, a human would stop unlike a vampire.
>She will just resort to steal bloodbags from the hospital
A rogue of a waifu stealing something that is actually important for another person just to have a quick drink. Stealing from a hospital no less. What's next anon, bringing the vampire to an old age home?
>restricted to a purely nocturnal lifestyle which prohibits you from being a functional member of society (something she might require of you as a mortal)? Literally me
Would require you to act as a normal member of society in order to get past guards. Constantly buying perfumes and scents to mask her smell.
>Vampire gf would not have this problem because eternal youth. Also Implying supernatural qts need to be technologically savvy
Not only will the vampire not be savvy, she will not desire to learn of these things (vampires are arrogant that way).
>emotionally manipulative and oversexed by her very nature
AKA woman, very true.
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No.36188
Go /x/, the nominations for Attention-Hungry Games 24 has started:
>>>/sudo/67159
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No.37145
>>34837
Read "The Demon Accords" Series. Book one is "God Touched". It's also on audible. Just do it!
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No.37147
>>37145
There are too many books on my reading list already…
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No.38512
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No.38572
Look at this princess, you will never cuddle with her
>why even live
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No.38574
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No.38893
>>34837
Just get a Jewess, same thing.
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No.38901
>>35276
>She's literally a normal girl most of the time, and a murderous mindless beast when she transforms.
This. Aren't they all like that at a certain time of the month anyway?
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No.38948
>>38574
She's so plain it hurts. I can think of a few cuter/hotter actresses who played vampires just off the top of my head:
- Chloe Grace Moretz from Let me in
- Kate Beckinsale from Underworld
- Kirsten Dunst from Interview with the Vampire
- Deborah Ann Woll from True Blood
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No.39437
>>35173
I've got a smol tiddy goth gf at the moment and she's too miserable to leave her room unless it's to come and see me.
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No.39438
>>35548
>Yeah but before it does that, it would destroy your dick.
Spit on her pussy.
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No.40627
>>34837
The mental energy you get from sperm retention is what women are after.
They're effectively all vampires.
Go research spermo gnosticism ideas they're a big deal in masonic circles.
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No.40628
just go to vampirefreaks ???
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No.40818
>>34915
GOMAD and bad fashion choices.
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No.43735
>>35488
>>sucks your blood, which is painful, leaves track marks all over your body and makes you both lethargic and perpetually sickly
She would have set points see would drink from if she isn't a retard.
>>probably needs more blood than you can provide, which means you're either constantly acquiring blood bags or in an open relationship
Blood bags or the bitch will be starving like a jew in a concentration camp
>>carries unknowable quantity of transmittable diseases and infections since she's always biting people
clean
>>basically an illegal resident who relies heavily on fake documents, meaning the feds might get you at any time
Like we wouldn't have some MIB thing going for supernatural shit
>>constantly moving like a gypsy or lives deeply enmeshed in vampire society, to avoid people finding out her true nature
That is fine but also ^
>>restricted to a purely nocturnal lifestyle which prohibits you from being a functional member of society (something she might require of you as a mortal)
Basically already doing that
>>probably worse with modern technology than your oldest living relative since she likely remembers when cars were a revolutionary invention
If she was turned young then she probably will pick shit up fast
>>emotionally manipulative and oversexed by her very nature
Like women already aren't. Also I beat my dick four times a day and that is because I don't wanna take too much of my remaining free time up with pointless shit
>>dangerous and has almost definitely killed before so you'll be afraid to disagree with her
Not really.
>>attracts psychopathic hunter types who want to kill her and you for shits and giggles
Not too much of a problem if she is good enough to scare me.
>>if you ever have sex, it will be like rutting with a corpse, so even if you can get your frigid phallus erect, it will be pure friction
There is lube for that
>>even if she turns you into a vampire, she's definitely a Jewess and has made you a member of the tribe
Doesn't mean Jack shit with my belief in the Lord Almighty. I will crusade her womb and reclaim her bloodline in the name of Christ.
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No.43736
>>35488
>>even if she turns you into a vampire, she's definitely a Jewess
Aren't these meant to be negative points?
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No.43744
>>40627
This, women are matter not form. They need men to survive, but men don't need them anywhere near as much.
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No.43813
>>43736
Ah, I see you’re a man of culture as well.
<no Jewess vampiress GF to stay up late with and sleep away the day
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No.43816
>>43736
>>43813
Why would any sane man want an old, sad Jewish vampire gf when he could have a smug Aryan loli vampire gf?
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No.43819
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No.43823
>>43819
Are those gifs from the movie Daybreakers?
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No.43825
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No.43915
>>34914
There's a line in both versions of the movie that goes "I'm not a girl." I assumed that she meant she was so far removed from human at that point that her sex was non-existent. Also in the Swedish (or whatever) version she had what I took to be some weird vampiric sealed area where her junk had sealed itself shut.
Unfortunately, I read an article about it and now know that, in the book, she was actually a castrated boy.
What kind of a fucking world do we live in where you have to check for traps when getting your neck sucked?
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No.43917
>>43915
<Oi, luv! Get yer knickers off, I haffta see if you’re packin’ heat before I can let you nibble on me neck, a’ight?
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No.43958
>>43915
>>>34914
>Unfortunately, I read an article about it and now know that, in the book, she was actually a castrated boy.
Lmao, never knew that.
They perfectly casted chloe for that then.
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No.43961
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No.43973
>>43961
Låt den rätte komma in / Let The Right One In
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No.43978
That's okay… I ended up with a Ramona Flowers type.
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No.43980
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No.43990
>>43978
Ramona Flowers or just some "quirky" bitch with dyed hair.
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No.44020
>>35173
some are evil some are good. >>35386
>true man
>/x/
pick one
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No.44024
>>39437
That's adorable as fuck
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No.44072
>>35488
>sucks your blood, which is painful, leaves track marks all over your body and makes you both lethargic and perpetually sickly
>probably needs more blood than you can provide, which means you're either constantly acquiring blood bags or in an open relationship
How much blood do vampires need? If they live soley on blood, they would have to drink a ridiculous amount of it each day in order to stay alive/undead – probably their own weight or more, each night! If not, they will have to eat some kind of food as well in order to get enough energy.
>carries unknowable quantity of transmittable diseases and infections since she's always biting people
But she’d surely clean and wash after feeding on someone, no? Otherwise she’d walk around in bloodstained clothes and with dried-up blood all around her mouth.
>constantly moving like a gypsy or lives deeply enmeshed in vampire society, to avoid people finding out her true nature
Depends on where you live. If you live in a small town or even more rural, someone dying or going missing is gonna be big news. If you live in a city there is much less chance anyone would ever notice, unless there were a whole horde of bloodsuckers running around killing and abducting people.
>restricted to a purely nocturnal lifestyle which prohibits you from being a functional member of society (something she might require of you as a mortal)
A lot of people work graveyard shifts and stay up all night. Hardly a massive setback.
>probably worse with modern technology than your oldest living relative since she likely remembers when cars were a revolutionary invention
If she’s lived for decades or centuries she would have had a long time to adapt. She may not be on social media or streaming on Twitch, but it is very unlikely she would not know how to use a phone and browse the Internet.
>emotionally manipulative and oversexed by her very nature
All women are manipulative, you tard. And I like how you put ‘oversexed’ as a negative thing.
>dangerous and has almost definitely killed before so you'll be afraid to disagree with her
So have war veterans – do you think your great-grandpa became a dangerous lunatic because he killed some nips in the war? Or your grandpa, when he shot gooks in ’Nam? I don’t doubt you’d be afraid to disagree with her though, ’cause you sound like a fucking beta faggot.
>attracts psychopathic hunter types who want to kill her and you for shits and giggles
How? How fucking careless do you have to be to attract the attention of ‘hunters’? People go missing or are killed every single day – no one is gonna give a fuck about some tard who goes missing and never found again.
>if you ever have sex, it will be like rutting with a corpse, so even if you can get your frigid phallus erect, it will be pure friction
Obviously you’d use some kind of lube – take your pick.
>even if she turns you into a vampire, she's definitely a Jewess and has made you a member of the tribe
If you don’t want to become a vampire yourself, just put your foot down. You could always try find a cure for her if she’d want to become human again.
You sound like the kind of beta vampire who would ask for permission from your victim before you drank their blood. Man up. You are whinging and making a mountain out of a molehill.
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No.44073
Girls are scum death to women
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No.44103
>>44072
>How much blood do vampires need? If they live soley on blood, they would have to drink a ridiculous amount of it each day in order to stay alive/undead – probably their own weight or more, each night! If not, they will have to eat some kind of food as well in order to get enough energy.
Disappointing, I expected people on /x/ to be a little more savvy about vampires. Vampires are undead and sustained by supernatural forces, and require no sustenance whatsoever to continue to exist. They drink blood as part of a compulsion brought on by a magical curse, with a related effect being the consumption of blood helps to fuel the magic sustaining the vampire, not the vamp itself.
Vampires do not "die" without access to blood, as they "starve" they retain less and less vampiric essence and may eventually become catatonic or insane beyond recovery, and i suppose they might eventually fade away after a few hundred or thousand years. But generally a vampire with no blood to drink will just get weak and stupid and desperate, and probably just wander into the sun in a state of derangement.
TlDR vampires dont subsist on blood, and need no sustenance. your suggestion that they need food or calories is ludicrous.
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No.44105
>>44103
>TlDR vampires dont subsist on blood, and need no sustenance. your suggestion that they need food or calories is ludicrous.
Stop spreading such obvious misinformation around, you tard.
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No.44107
>>44105
everything i wrote is perfectly accurate and trustworthy info. I suspect you of being a spy for the vampires, otherwise why would you try to discredit valuable facts?
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No.44108
also, to address the "vampire GF" idea of the thread, fucking a vampire would be disgusting, as well as probably fatal. Realize her vagina will be cold and without wetness of a living vagina, and because of it's evil nature will most likely feel repulsive like having worms crawl on your dick etc. A vampire is a unholy monster that carries all sorts of mundane and supernatural infections, and whatever bodily fluids she has are highly toxic. She's not like a succubus that can take a form to please you, she is a cursed undead halfcorpse. I recommend that even if the idea of fucking monsters appeals to you, you skip any that are undead.
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No.44109
>>44107
Everything you wrote you pulled out of your own arse, m80. Obvious disinfo to aid your vampire masters no doubt!
Next you’ll have us believe vampires can turn into bats!
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No.44110
>>44108
<Bleh! Stay away from our vampiresses, human!
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No.44111
>>44109
Everyone knows that the first thing a vampire spy does when caught is accuse the heroic person that catches them of benign a vampire spy themselves. Nice try, guv, but you've been rogered! bet you're miffed that your dodgy scheme went pear shaped, ya tosser!
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No.44112
>>44111
I am not the one trying to spread disinfo in order to protect your undead bloodsucking masters. Begone!
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No.44113
>>44110
aw c'mon! I just wanna show them my "big tool"
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No.44114
>>44112
we can easily see who is on the side of the vampires by who's claims benefit them. you are claiming they have a vulnerability that they do not, lulling humans into a false sense of security
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No.44133
>>44114
How would me saying they must have some alternate source of energy in order to remain their undead existence benefit them? You are the one who is spreading obvious disinfo around:
>vampires dont subsist on blood, and need no sustenance.
Sounds to me like you are making shit up to make bloodsuckers' seem more harmless, m80.
You go ahead and try to defeat a nest of bloodsuckers with your hammer and stake and cross; I will put my faith in modern firepower.
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No.44146
>>44133
Hang on now, just because vampires don't drink blood to "survive" doesn't mean they *don't* drink blood. They are compelled to drink blood because of the supernatural curse. the blood doesn't do anything to sustain them in the way food does for humans, but they do still need to drink it because of an irresistible compulsion. My point is that they can't simply be "starved" to death.
Mundane guns and ammo can only temporarily stop a vampire (they will reform their body). To kill a being that is fueled by magic, you have to kill the magic. Hence blessed objects and other partially metaphysical, symbolic, or supernatural weapons.
It seems like you are encouraging people to abandon the proper weapons to fight semicorporeal undead and use basically useless firearms. Might as well punch a ghost, but i'm sure you know that, Mr Vampire Spy
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No.44150
>>44146
>They are compelled to drink blood because of the supernatural curse. the blood doesn't do anything to sustain them in the way food does for humans, but they do still need to drink it because of an irresistible compulsion.
Do you have any source to back this nonsense up with - at all?
If it exists in this world (semicorporeal my ass faggot) it can be killed with a well-aimed .50 cal bullet, you dunce.
if you want to go into a vampire nest with your stake and hammer and sprinkle a little holy water around that's up to you (pls do btw)
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No.44152
>>44113
>>44133
>>44146
>>44150
You're both missing the obvious answer - traditional tried and true methods of dispatch updated with modern technology.
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No.44153
>>44150
>If it exists in this world (semicorporeal my ass faggot) it can be killed with a well-aimed .50 cal bullet, you dunce.
There are reports of 'aliens' being shot at with rifles and the bullets just bounced off them…
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No.44219
>>44153
When you shoot at a UFO your bullets come back at you with even greater force.
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No.44220
>>44219
This also goes for the underground beings, Hulder and troll
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No.44221
>>34901
Based motherfucker
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No.44225
>>44219
>>44220
Is this true? Where did you read this?
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No.44231
>>34837
Relax OP there are plenty of Khazar Milkers out there who'd drink your blood.
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No.44239
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No.48190
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No.48191
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No.48252
>>48191
Gothic and vampire bitches.
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No.49064
>>34915
you don't get a team to do your hair and makeup, do a bunch of drugs and get depressed.
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No.49102
>tfw you will never be both sexes at same time
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No.49140
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No.49159
>>49140
Use Anonfile instead.
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No.50190
>>34838
Tfw no facesiting vampire gf
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No.50250
>>44150
>not knowing that the real way to kill a vamp is with triple shot holy water
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No.50255
>>34837
The problem about Vampire gf's though is they are dead and will always be dry in the vagina
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