/v/ - Video Games

gather harem

>>13847933

Upon hearing the name "Mark," you instinctively reach for your right pocket to get your portable propane tank. In case a lone jewish person may require a proper gassing, you always have it on hand. Your hand smashes into the soft cushion of the chair you are still fused to.

What do you do?

>>13848059

I'll attempt the recap:

>Your name is Fukov.

>You have a talent for giving nosejobs

>You have a neckbeard friend named Fred who sells waifus

>Your waifu was a hideous one named Faggota

>You go to your parents house and find them dead

>Your parents house is full of demons for some reason

>Especially one really big one

>You pray to void beings for safety, one answers your call

>He likes you and decides to fuse with you, you now have void powers

>You use your powers to make all waifus real

>You get into a final confrontation with the giant demon

>Faggota, now real sacrifices herself while you light the house on fire

>You hold a funeral in her honor

>You train and get stronger

>You now want revenge, and to find out where the demons came from

>You go back to the house and find a business card of some asshole realtor who tried to take advantage of your parents, Bob Tiller

>Try to send him dick pics and fail every time

>Take bus to the location

>Speak to who you think is Bob Tiller

>Get into a fight with him

>During the fight have a misfire with your void powers and accidentally fuse with your chair

>Realize the man isn't actually Bob, and tell him your story

>He thanks you for bringing his waifu to life

>Ask his name

And that's where this thread begins

>>13848019

You could always phase through the chair since there's nothing stressing you out anymore. However, you always want to see Mark use his sword again when it's not being used to slice you into little bacon bits. You tell Mark you could use some help since your powers don't aren't working for some reason. Mark gets a serious look on his face and slices the chair to pieces in seconds flight. It is metal as fuck.

>>13848193

The chair falls off into little pieces. You are no longer fused to the chair.

Now what do you do?

>>13848253

only pics of one of his quests sadly as well as some art of others tbh

>>13848199

Using your skills as beginner Nosejobber, get to work on constructing some armor using the leftover chair parts. After awhile, you manage to cobble something together. It turned it pretty solid. Not only were you able to construct a helmet, you were able to imbue it with special qualities that only work when you don the helmet.

It's a two edged sword: objects thrown at you will be drawn towards your helmet which is strong to protect against stabs from swords and the like. However, objects may unintentionally be drawn towards you as well. Since this is through Void powers and not magnetism, it doesn't matter whether nor not the material is metal.

Now that you have new armor, what do you do?

>>13848274

It's about time to finish this once and for all. You have an idea of where Tiller is at, and if he isn't there, you how to bring him to you. You ask Mark if he wants to join you. You explain the details and the danger involved. He says he's down, he'll just take off a couple vacation days and he'll leave a note for Ms. Riceball.

You can still only conjure up a small portal, so you tell Mark he's going to have to ride piggyback. You feel a loud clank on the back of your helmet. Anything will be attracted to it, even if it's not metal. You clap your hands together, but nothing seems to happen.

>>13848400

"Hey, Fuckov, is something supposed to happ-Oh holy shit." You hope for the best as you both get sucked into a portal. You've never done this with anyone other than yourself before.

You enter the Void with Mark. It's complete emptiness. The only thing that exists here is between the portal above and the one below. A red light appears underneath you sucks you into the other side as the nothingness collapses in behind you.

>>13848402

>>13848407

You have arrived in Hell.

"Are you sure this is Hell, or is this some kind of foot fetish place?"

Bob Tiller is most likely around here somewhere. What do you do?

>>13848427

You search around the place and see what you can found. If the legs are sticking up, then maybe there's something below them. You grab onto one of the legs and give it a good yank. The entire leg comes off and not very cleanly. You hear muffled yelling below you. Mark yells to "Hey, I think I found something!" You throw the leg behind you and walk over.

"I found a place in the floor that sounded hollow. It looks like there is a tunnel here that got covered up." You won't get much help up here with nothing but legs, so you decide to descend lower into the depths of Hell. You tell Mark to brace himself and get ready to jump.

You both plummet at lightning fast speeds. The darkness opens up to a dimly lit cavern. You hit the floor and quickly go into your slavic squat, taking away the momentum from the fall. Mark falls flat on his ass. The ground is frozen with bodies below you. Who knows how far it goes down. There are also people outside the ice. Maybe they sink eventually.

What do you do?

>>13848525

You make really obnoxious sounds. You channel your own inner Adam Sandler, and let out the worst of the worst. You can hear your ear-piercing impressions ring out for miles and miles. You almost feel a little bad making Hell even more unbearable.

"Aaaargh! Shut the hell up! Can't you lead an old man rot in piece? I've been here for ages and you little no gooders come around making a mess of things!"

It sounds like he's been here awhile. He's probably seen people come through for an unspeakable amount of time. It's a longshot, but maybe he knows something.

What do you do?

>>13848566

Ask him politely what's the deal with this place

>>13847916

Why bother? He never accepts the dubs or 7s of posts that he doesn't like, just tries to find ways around them and stick to his own loose plot. Like a very unskilled GM.

>>13848577

You ask the man what's up with this place?

"I murdered my wife. I couldn't stand her anymore, always looking for something to complain about. I finally did her in. Now I'm stuck in this goddam ice freezing all the damn time. That whore finds a way to screw me over even when I'm dead. Most of what I see in here. Some people killed their wives, husbands, brothers. Others turned their back on their people or friends. most are lawyers, some sell things to people. same shit different person."

What do you do now?

>>13848687

There's only one solution to this debacle: starting a war of races. You're going to draw out Till, or maybe even find him in the ensuing battles.

You tell the old man you have one last question: Where are the jews and the blacks? He closes his eyes and thinks.

"The jews are that way, and the blacks are this way."

You feel closer than ever to closure. The race war is about to begin.

What do you do now?

>>13849218

>give shitty option

>whaaaa why I'm getting ignored

Are you still pissed that OP didn't care I'm last thread about your cake eating fetish faggot?

>>13849414

>get spotted as a faggot

>nuh hu! It's you playing retard

Sure anon, is not the GM that it's bad, it's your fault trying to fit memes and fetish in your play stay mad

>>13851167

You look around this place and realize simply pointing in a direction is not enough information to go off of. This place is pretty huge and it wouldn't take long to get lost. And if you get lost, there's not guarantee you can make it back to the old man. So you decide to strike a deal. You tell the old man you'll cut him out of the ice if he helps you and Mark out.

He drops his head to the icy floor and pauses. You cautiously await his answer. He lifts his head up and stares you down directly into your eyes.

"I'll join you as long as you give my beard a good trim. I'm starting to look like some hippy faggot."

Sounds like a deal. You look over to Mark and nod.

>>13864747

Mark makes short work of the ice. And the beard doesn't look half bad after the trim. He could make a decent barber.

"Feels good to be out of that frozen hell. And better yet, I don't need to forgive my wife for shit! Let's go find those negroes." The old man leads you through the icy cavern.

>>13864751

You approach upon a group of popsicled blacks. You talk to the one in the middle as he is the most rambunctious of the bunch. You tell him some nearby jews have found a way to create fried chicken. He beats his chest and let's out an dog-like squeal of excitement. However, you say the jews said not to let them have any of it. And the jews also said they were the real kings of Egypt. All the blacks nearby begin to pound against the ice and howl. The leader in front of you says:

"AY YO HOL UP…WE WUZ DEM KANGZ 'N SHIEEET. DEM JEWS GIT FRIED CHICKEN TUH PAY"

You negrotiate with them: you tell them you will lead them to the jews hiding place if they teach you how to smack your lips and talk like a sassy black woman. They agree.

Mark holds up his blade and strikes into the frozen wasteland. A size-able amount of blacks have been unpopsicled.

>>13864761

Everything is coming together. Feeling a renewed sense of vigor, your party heads to the jews as the old man leads the way.

"Careful with these ones. They never pay a restaurant bill. Hell, they'd scam their own mothers if they could."

You encroach upon a lonely jew eying a penny in front of him. "Hundreds of years and the ice never melts. No matter how much I dig, I can never quite reach it…"

He notices you and squints in your direction. "The goyim…," he mutters under his breath. His crooked nose sends shivers down your spine. Such poorly constructed nose should not be allowed to exist.

You tell him the blacks have found a way out of the ice, and they are conspiring to make movies and banks. They said they will be the new jews of Hell, and there is nothing those crooked-nosed kikes could do about it.

"Oy vey, those filthy negores don't their foot from their ass! They should know better than to bite the hand that feeds them. They wouldn't even have their rappy nigger music without us! How dare they…"

You say you can lead them to the blacks as long as he teaches you how to make a savings account and how much money to put into it. He clutches his hands together and rubs them over each other. He mumbles, "yes, yes, silly goyim, give me your shekels…" He doesn't seem to realize you can hear him. He agrees to your terms.

Mark gets to work on carving out all the jews. "Fuck, man, there are lot of jews down here. Definitely not six million though. Maybe two at best."

>>13864766

You walk a ways away from the jews and blacks. You find a nice big open space for them to fight it out. You tell Mark to go talk to the blacks. He looks like a guy who reads a lot of anime and watches episodes of manga, and blacks love anime tiddies. They will listen to him.

You tell the old man to talk the jews. He looks weak, fragile, and exploitable. The natural weasliness of the jew will feel at home talking to someone they think they can easily manipulate. "Weak and exploitable? You're a real cocksucker, you know that…Fuck my knees hurt."

Mark: "…they were talking about how gay Goku is for Vegeta. Something about how anime sucks and is only for genuine, dick sucking faggots…"

Old guy: "…yeah, they have been hoarding all kinds of gold and jewels too. it's crazy what you can find down here…"

You here what sounds like a stampede of hundreds of feet stamping towards your final destination. The echoes sound like thousands of beating drums.

>>13864770

"YOOOOOOOO YOU KIKE-NOSED FUCKS BEEN JEWING THE WRONG MUTHAFUCKAZ. IMMA TAKE YO NOSE AND SHOVE IT SO FAH UP YO ASS YO GONNA BE SMELLIN' YO OWN TONGUE!"

"You negroes should know better than to fight against your own masters. You wouldn't have anything without us, you filthy animals. We will teach you your rightful place."

Like two tidal waves, you see a cloud of pure blackness collide with a bunch of sharp, pointed objects. Pure mayhem fills the endless cavern. The floor is painted red as the dead re-kill themselves in a race war unlike anything anyone has ever seen.

>>13864774

Despite the chaos, Mark is calm. His himalayan-honed senses search the surroundings for any signs of Bob Till. His ears pick up something nearby. It's someone talking. "Hmm…Another shoah…what a good shoah…very entertaining, I must say…" Mark tells you where it's coming from, and your party heads over. You see a figure across from the bodies piling up in front of you. You squint and try to get a better look.

You think it's him. It's gotta be. But you need to be sure. You clasp your hands together and yell, "HEY, BOB TILL!" You see the figure's head look up, revealing his face filled with recognition and confusion. No one else bothers to look in your direction. It's him.

You point towards him and tell Mark and the old man that's Bob Till. Mark takes one look at him and nods. The two of you rush over. You're getting closer to getting your long awaited revengeance.

>>13864778

You feel your feet glide across the battlefield. In your rush, you the leave the old man on the other side. "I'll just stay here I guess. I ain't going through that clusterfuck."

You reach Bob Till. You tell him this is for your parents. For you ugly ex-waifu, Faggotta Suprema.

He scoffs at your words. "I don't even know who you are, Kid. Do you know who you're fucking with? I sell houses for a living. Hell, I don't just sell 'em, I do what I gotta do to sell the houses I WANT to sell. I ain't even dead and I'm here. You ever strike a deal with the devil and live to tell the tale? Well, you kn-"

You smash your fist straight into his huge guts.

>>13864780

At the same time, Mark shoves his katana straight through Bob's forehead. You've done it. Your Mom, Dad, and Faggotta Suprema can rest in peace.

>>13864785

In this quest:

>You were Sir Fukov, a man from a long line of noble russianmen

>had extraordinary nosejobbery skills with a legendary bloodline

>destroyed your house trying to remodel it

>effectively flirted with your waifu salesman, Fred, and got Faggota Suprema as your waifu (who had sucked thousands of cocks prior to your engagement)

>found your parents dead with your Dad's face chewed off

>tripped over your parent's corpses while throwing Faggotta Suprema away who then hit a vase and caused it to explode

>considered raping your not-mother in the closet

>exposed a monster in your closet using a flashlight while dressed as a cute trap

>poked out the monster's eyeballs three-stooges' style

>escaped into a tunnel inside your house

>hit a huge demon in the head with a flashlight hard enough for the flashlight head to break, ricochet off a wall, and slice you across the forehead

>fell down every floor in your house and faceplanted in the basement

>summoned a void demon using your childhood ouija board in the basement

>told the Void demon, called Anthony, a funny joke so funny he gave you his void powers

>shitposted on your favorite vietnamese picture board, 8queer.net/v/

>you masturbated

>learned to teleport with your void powers

>made waifus real

>burned your house down and killed the demon inside it

>held a funeral for Faggotta Suprema

>trained in himalayas and figured out how to do Void punches and open portals

>sent a dick pic on your phone to Bob Till, the suspicious realty agent

>attempted to send a dick pic to Bob Till through the mail which then got caught by the wind, caught in a jet engine, and blew up a plane

>took the bus

>Kramer'd your way past a front desk assistant

>fused with a chair

>made friends with Mark O'Neil, a katana wielding real estate agent who also trained in the Himalayas

>used your nosejobbery skills to construct a helmet infused with your void powers

>teleported to Hell

>ripped off someone's leg in Hell

>made friends with an old man from Hell who murdered his wife

>tricked a pack of niggers and kikes into fighting each other starting a race war in Hell

>found and killed Bob Till

>completed your quest