/random/ - random

I am going back to learning calculus until conor is online.

>>75378

When's the last time calculus made a woman orgasm?

You've got something much more important to learn, so fuck calculus

ANAL is the secret to keeping a woman

ANAL makes women experience multiple rapid fire tow curling orgasms, and they're simply is not any other sexual act which makes them experience this same Earth shaking phenomenon

unfortunately suburban women haven't experienced enough adversity to have the level of sexual trauma needed to do anal.

Will report back when they return from college!

tom as in tom and jerry?

why you got so many sexual cat pictures on your computer

You can try to LOGICALLY Whittle away the truth I'm conveying, and miss this Grand opportunity to actually learn something from an expert

You seem to think some form of childhood trauma is required for a woman to be a woman

Everything you've heard about the G-Spot was bullshit

There is no neural ganglia in the asshole, because that's not what makes women orgasm uncontrollably

They orgasm from emotional situations

i just dont want to get ecoli bacteria in my dick hole bro

honestly the emotional thing isnt something ive thought about much this is quite enlightening

Speaking of childhood trauma nonsense, EVERY HUMAN THINKS THEY HAVE CHILDHOOD TRAUMA

To one varying degree or another, everybody perceives their childhood as imperfect, and if asked, they would tell you they suffered somehow as a child

And sometimes it's really bad stuff, like I've known chicks who suffered really fucked up shit when they were kids.. but believe it or not they were the smartest straightest most Dependable people of all.. because they didn't allow their horrible childhood trauma destroy their adulthood

i need to surround myself with better humans to be honest

i know this one guy who lives close to me in the suburbs and he willingly went with a bunch of gang bangers to commit a drive by shooting.

his parents are both college educated.

1300 on the SAT and bro smokes weed all day and thinks he is being punished by god

Whereas I've also dated tons of women who had idyllic childhoods, but they still told me about their perceived traumas

I dated one chick for 8 years, and she had a fucked up psychological trigger based on the most idiotic misperception of a childhood trauma :

she THOUGHT MAYBE HER FATHERLOOKED AT HER WEIRD ONE TIME

Are you following me?

There was no trauma at all..

There probably wasn't anything weird

she THOUGHT that MAYBE he MIGHT have "looked at her oddly"....

And she allowed that nonsensical bullshit to be a factor in her obstacles to happiness

>>75399

He's a piece of shit.. human garbage

Not because of the gang bangers or any of that nonsense

your friend is a piece of shit because he believes in God

If he's that gullible and easily manipulated, the world has no use for him

no its not that he believes in god,

he is so torn up that religion ended up being wrong that he cant conceive of living a meaningful life.

bro is sad that space daddy isnt there to tell him he is doing the right thing so

is a piece of shit out of spite to a deity that he knows isnt real.

nope........

It has nothing to do with social status or childhood trauma or bad parenting or living in the lap of luxury, young or old, black or white asian or any of the other disgusting breeds of the horrid human race :

You're not paying attention

trust me

If you want to keep her around, give her what nobody else does

There's something so degrading and simply "wrong" about their entire existence adding up to nothing more than a loose asshole.. that makes them go crazy

>>75402

AGAIN : schizophrenia is the idiotic belief that one's life is being secretly controlled by an external entity

It's called dissociation

That also happens to be the exact definition of religion

Again, when you started this thread you had no idea the actual topic was anal sex

But now you know.. you're growing inside, and it feels good

is that a sexual innuendo

ONE MORE TIME :

It doesn't matter who the chick is, because I assure you.. they've been waiting their entire life to have somebody turn their asshole into a bus stop....

a Public park bench

It has nothing to do with nerve endings and everything to do with situational compromise

Believe it or not, no I've never been one to use sexual innuendo

Men who incorporate sexual innuendo into their existence never get any pussy

damn bruh you've convinced me!

I don't waste much time with puns or double entendres, because I shoot straight from the fucking hip

about anal*

good one bwhahaha

See I'm old now.. and I'm married and shit of course I've been married a few times now.. to a Swedish chick even! As in she was actually from Sweden! White blonde hair crystal blue eyes and chiseled facial features with the perfect smile and they drop dead bombshell body... she looked just like a goddamn Budweiser Swedish ski team model

And I used to play in a band, so when I was younger I always got tons of young pussy if you know what I'm talking about

wink wink

I've banged so many women I can't even tell you.. but it's definitely over 700

And I have a long history of monogamous long-term relationships intermingled with all of those one night stands...

And I didn't realize the secret to anal sex until I was 32 years old

It took me that long to realize the secret

I'm a fucking piece of shit

I'm dead serious.. I even have a logo that says I'm a piece of shit

I'm definitely nothing special

I'm a complete fuck up and a douchebag and an asshole

I fucked my life up at every turn

And that's why I know so much about life

Simply because I've been on the planet longer than you

yeah but it sounds like youve had a crazy plot.

now you get to be a side character in my story and entertain me on winter break because its -10 degrees outside and im stuck inside for a month.

plot > meaning and morals

When you first get on the kiddie rides at the amusement park, it all seems new and wonderful

And we soon become all too familiar

And when you've been on the ride as long as I have, you'll get really good at predicting what's coming next

I can accurately predict the fat kid in the yellow t-shirt holding the green balloon will be standing next to his mother who will be digging in her purse for cotton candy money

>>75421

Yeah yeah whatever as if I'm going anywhere

You stumbled in my spider hole and then you had the audacity to tell me I'm going to have to stick around?

read about metamodernism

>>75426

Only if you listen to Rubber Soul by The Beatles from beginning to end and then start a journey through the rest of their music from that point forward to the end of their career

Because I'm convinced a lack of Beatles is one of your biggest problems

And there's no reason to begin the journey with their earlier albums, because they didn't start taking LSD until the Rubber Sole album

no its not about jesus.

we evolved to have circuits in our brain that simulate "gods".

it was always an illusion but there needs to be myth in our minds to operate correctly and not be depressed.

And at this point, my beautiful genius clever funny badass strong and feisty former lesbian of 11 years until she met me wife and I are about to begin a late dinner

listen to yeezus lmao

>>75431

CORRECTION, SIR :

WE EXIST..TO EXIST

The only reason anything exists is so it will still exist 10,000 years from now hopefully

We don't exist to build spaceships or develop a cure for cancer

We exist so that we can still exist tomorrow

Mold spores exfoliate

Plants pollinate

Fish spawn

WE WXIST TO FUCK

THE END

Nothing else matters

the idea of existing and survival is a fabrication of thought inside your mind.

once a species evolves to the point where a can of sugar water can give them diabetes they have the privilege to participate in more elegant thought patterns.

the scary ways of looking at the world are made up just like religion.

there is no objective truth.

we are literally the most complex thing to every exist in reality.

ever* fuck

I got pretty drunk so far tonight, drinking single malt scotch after killing some Modelo negras at lunch, and I'm still slamming straight scotch, about through all a big old fucking joint of some perfect Christmas weed

Then it's going to be an amazing vegetarian dinner

and YES ..... she only wants it up the ass

Exclusively

Welcome to Planet earth,

stick around you'll get the hang of it

The only question is are you capable of getting over the initial hump with success?

Taking them there is the hump where most men fail

is the anal thing only exclusive to ex lesbians and bisexual women?

>>75438

You accidentally typed "complex", when obviously you meant to type WORTHLESS DESTRUCTIVE AND DETRIMENTAL

The human race is scum

no, just emotionally immature and obsessed with religious dogma.

if we dont kill ourselves it'll even out eventually.

In the past 50 years alone, the human race has completely eliminated 70% of all life on Earth

Not 5000 years

Not 500 years

FIFTY YEARS = we drove 70% of life on earth into Extinction

I think you're giving the human race a little bit too much credit

We've already killed ourselves out

There's a point of no return and we passed it a long time ago

think about how destructive teenagers become during their developmental years.

the human race is adolescent.

I know a lot of young people who think like me. The problem is that there's too many adults like you who couldn't make it through the canyon of existentialism.

make a painting or smthin stop doing so much anal lmao.

Again.. check this out for whatever it's worth

You created this thread because you wanted to knowwhy women love anal sex so much

You going to have to find out for yourself, because once you learn the lesson, you'll never forget it....

My wife was a lipstick lesbian for 11 years until she met me

Not a bull dyke. Not a manly lesbian at all

A lipstick lesbian.. feminine.. she simply wasn't interested in men because men are disgusting

Men are stupid little boys

Men are cowards

She was 100% lesbian for 11 years

AND THEN I TURNED HER ASSHOLE INTO A MAILBOX

That was 10 years ago

You can take whatever you'd like from that story, but you'd be a fool not to pay attention to what I'm trying to tell you

>>75449

Are you a Kafkaesque existentialist?

Because you're reminding me a lot of Gregor Sansa right now

Do you prefer French or German existentialism?

Because either of them can suck my big wide dick

Be careful if somebody might throw an Apple at you

And it might injure those disgusting Wing things that are growing on your back, Gregor

I started taking LSD at the age of 12, and didn't stop taking LSD basically every single day until at the age of 15 I felt I had finally learned everything about myself and the universe that I needed to know

And right now my wife is telling you to eat shit because it's time for us to eat dinner

So eat shit, so says Wendy

I'll see you later. Do something good for animals

Stop focusing on humans

Humans created all their own problems

Do you want to be happy? Do you want to kill some time? Volunteer at an animal shelter

You'd be amazed how good you'll feel about yourself after an afternoon of cleaning litter boxes and giving fresh food and water to a bunch of desperate animals who are relying on humans to live up to our promise

Or, you can continue to be a shitheel and focus on yourself and other human beings

Wasting your time with existentialism and Theology and philosophy and other such garbage that has nothing to do with real existence whatsoever

Right now out there in the freezing cold there are thousands and thousands and thousands of poor innocent suffering animals who are beaten and abused and starving and freezing and scared and desperately hoping for salvation somehow

Ask them how much they care about existentialism or brains mimicking micro circuitry

Good night dude.

I'm going to nickname you SQUIRT

GOODNIGHT, SQUIRT

I was for a while,

I started reading books about metamodernism recently.

Metamodernism is the newest cultural paradigm which attempts to create continuity between infinite sub ideologies (religion, lgbtq, minority groups).

essentially depending on your situation you need a completely unique set of morals and thought patterns to deal with it.

no one paradigm could account for every humans' lives and needs.

personal myth allows you to draw from the massive amount of existing mythological stories to find meaning in your life.

what comes after death is irrelevant as we are bound to our senses and cannot interact with anything that is not in our reality.

spirituality is not about gods and the afterlife, its about creating a narrative that fits your life and allows you to succeed and grow as a person.

damn you left before i finished my manifesto post :(

goodnight anal man

>>75460

You're obviously not stupid

So stop behaving like somebody who's too stupid to realize none of that shit matters in the long in the long run

Slow your horses down and focus on the basics

You're reaching for the stars but you need to be building a foundation under your feet instead

true,

i just need to quit nicotine

Whatever situation you're in, it's going to get better

But not until you control your mood swings and thought process

You're the only one who's going to fix it, so stop wasting your time with ethereal garbage and focus on the concrete and steel

It's time to give our cats grilled salmon and we are making a vegetarian dinner because it's time to relax with my wife

Get your shit together and start listening to The Beatles and pay attention and I'll read whatever the fuck you want me to read, asshole

gym arc time fr

Bro im majoring in comp science with a 3.5 gpa rn.

I have 45 college credits at 18.

give me some credit lol

I'm just kidding when I called you an asshole

You're more like a dweeb

>>75470

I'm glad that's working out for you

And I encourage you to follow your dreams

before i learned how to skate i had 700 hours on terraria.

i am a dweeb indeed.

>>75473

In real life me and all of my close friends I've known since I was 12, and we still hang out to this very day.. we all give each other a hard time

We've never been nice to each other..

Not particularly.. we call each other bad names and insult each other and give each other a hard time all the time that's the way life rolls

If somebody can't handle having some fun poked at them, you definitely don't want to hang out with that mother fucker

If somebody can't take a ribbing, he's not part of the team

Scenes from my upcoming book

ELVIS HAS LEFT THE PLANET

The entire book is written and illustrated by artificial intelligence

In my story, Elvis Presley is the world's most famous entertainer, but the world doesn't realize that behind the scenes, he's actually the world's greatest spy, like James Bond times a thousand...

Little does the world realize the great Entertainer is saving the World Behind the Scenes

And instead of going undercover, he's hiding in plain sight as the world's most famous human being...

And then in 1977, the world is on the edge of destruction, and the only hope for mankind is for secret agent Elvis Presley to leave the planet and Tackle unforeseen Doom in the Realms of outer space

And I'm going to let AI write the story for me

And I'm not joking

Okay now I definitely have to help my wife in the kitchen take care

RE: a lot of people my age think this way

Exactly.. you nailed the problem right on the head

The perfect reason not to think that way

i want a woman thats phenotype has been tailored around mine so i could trust and thus want to fuck her

i have a problem with coal burners and am not too shy with it and i live in the US so after one of tired lying, pretty hard to be nice, i like making them cry

And don't speak of tribe or group, your genes are too fucked up for you to able to have proper idea of want those things mean or what they do

The point of life is to die, but death for you was never being born because your parents were never meant to born either because we haven't been under selection for 200 years now