No.5368
Hi. I'm retard. How you doing?
____________________________
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.5369
Today I doscovered how to breathe.
I love it. I breathe in and out and in and out and it feels good in my lungs.
I also produce snot. I feel amazing.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.5370
Please help me fill women with sperm.
How do you do?
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.5372
I can breathe in throuhg my nose.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.5373
I feel a bit slimy. It is the GOOD kind of slime.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.5379
There is a clump of poo forming in my colon. It is right now pressing against my sphincter. Soon I will let it out, but the time has not yet arrived.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.5380
I've now pooped it out. It wasn't much, but my anus is pretty small nowadays, so it still feels like a lot before I poop.
I tried widening it yesterday, with the biggest of my buttplugs, but I couldn't even get it in properly. Today I had to use the medium size, and I barely got THAT one in.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.5382
>>5379
i'm having a poo baby soon
its pressing against my prostate
it kicks, i cum
it fills me up, every day it grows bigger and bigger
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.5384
I'm smearing piss all over myself as I type this.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.5450
Another day, slightly more retarded than the first.
That's right: I'm going to make this thread my retardo-blog, where I'm going to list my full retardation.
Being retarded is important to being retarded, and so I start every morning by being retarded for a few hours before I even "get dressed" (put on my underwear).
I tried to not be retarded yesterday, and now I'm hurting all over. How do you guys do it? Please tell me your secrets so that I may steal them like the spy from TF2 - one of my most favourite games.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.5455
>>5450
It already always was and ever will be, amen. Thank you for blessing us, Retardo.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.5726
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.6382
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.6385
Right now I'm sitting here, in my favourite nerd shirt, focusing on being alive. Being alive is a fucking art, mah dudes.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.6518
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.6549
It's weird being retarded: You think that you've finally understood everything, but then you realize today that 25 years ago or so, you were actually much more retarded than you first thought, and that that was why everybody was laughing at you.
When you're retarded, it's hard to realize that you're retarded, because you're so retarded.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.6551
>>6385
>Right now I'm sitting here, in my favourite nerd shirt, focusing on being alive. Being alive is a fucking art, mah dudes.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.6552
...but no matter how much you try, the shit in your brain is always going to be there. Even now, I'm just sitting here typing retarded shit to nobody on the internet. That's extremely retarded, but I'm too retarded to stop. I wish I could think properly.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.6553
>>6551
You're absolutely right: I did drink an EXTREME amount of soy a few years back - completely DROWNING all my food in soy. I don't know why. Maybe I somehow thought it was good for me or something. ...and I have played Minecraft a looot, and when my GF broke up with me, I thought that if I just played enough Minecraft, it would impress her and I would get her back. I played it for YEARS, man, because of that, and she didn't even like Minecraft.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.6554
...and people are like "Don't be so insensitive! It's not called "retard". It's called 'mentally disabled'." or some shit.
No, come on, guys: I'm fucking retarded. I'm an idiot. An imbecile. A moron. There's no way to spin this in a positive light, and the thing with being retarded is that unless people tell me that I'm being retarded, I just won't get that I'm being retarded. Being told that I'm being retarded, actually HELPS me. ...and I don't think that you can call me retarded enough either, so just pour it on me.
Just don't expect me to ever change because of that, because again: I'm retarded. It's just something I have to live with.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.6563
But even retards have rolemodels. I mean I say "rolemodel", but I'll never be as amazing as Jason Genova is. He is my super-idol. He works out every day and eats protein shakes and shit. I could never do that. Also he used to have a YouTube channel.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.6811
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.6819
>>6811
>I wear pants.
I usually don't. Yesterday I actually wore pants for a bit, though. It's just that wearing pants is so hard. I usually wear underwear, but it feels so uncomfortable to restrain my balls like that, that I prefer to be naked.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.6875
I barely even HAVE any shirts, because I'm too retarded to even do the laundry. How the fuck do you guys do it?
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.6882
>>6875
laundry is best chore.
>pick up dirty laundry, put soap in machine, put laundry in machine, push buttons/turn dials. sit for 28-32 minutes. load another machine and turn a dial. sit for an hour. even if you line dry you have plenty of sitting to do.
you can shit post and be doing laundry at the same time.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.6902
>>6882
But I have to wash my hands, and that's hard.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.7159
>>5368
Hi. I'm polymath, IQ in the upper 1%.
I want to leave this planet.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.7162
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.