/nofap/ - Fappers Anonymous★

>>4914 (OP)

OP here

emotional:so overall to day has been pretty good. We got some unusual weather where I live so I was pretty excited about that. I got some work done at school despite feeling like a piece of shit after an argument with a family member. I need to work on my people skills and that is one reason I started nofap.

physically: I decided that I needed to get fit but in my previous post I never specified that I have to get up at 6-7 in the morning and walk 4 miles as part of it. I woke up too late for that after passing out from lack of sleep and some heavy lifting yesterday. Instead I did some basic body weight exercise took a cold shower and made some coffee and that got me through the day.

temptation: It has not gotten any batter in fact it may have gotten a little worse. I have a hard time getting through classes that are not that interactive or don't have alot of work in them because I start day dreaming and all of the sudden I notice just how pent up I am and I start feeling miserable. Its like a constant pulsing throughout your chest and groin. I cat wait for the day I stop counting the days I'm at and nofap just comes naturally.

OP here and have some things to get off my chest. I haven't been entirely honest wit this journal about some issues and since I did nothing today I might as well use now to clear up some stuff I left out of in previous days entries.

Left Out stuff

18 year old, straight, white male, 5 foot 10, 152 pounds, started in 2009

Day 18: I am supposed to be exercising daily a 4-6 miles daily walk, push-ups, curl-ups, and dips.

Day 19:I have been talking to a girl in class who is pretty cool and shes pretty cute and I'm not sure what to think about her. She is pretty fun to be around but I'm not sure if I'm romantically attracted to her or objectified her through my sexual frustrations. I dont think it worth getting into a relationship because where I live there are no more than 400-500 people who go to my school currently and I dont want to deal with the possible consequences of a relationship going badly but I still find myself thinking about her and I worry this will become an issue way down the road into my streak. I didn't exercise much at all I just passed out on my desk before getting schoolwork done.

Day 20: Every Saturday for a while I will be at school working with some teammates on a large project for 12 hours at a time and I'm a welder for this project. I like doing this it gets me out of the house, I am around people so I dont worry about relapsing, and I'm welding and I haven't been getting alot of practice recently so that is nice. On the downside I am normally pulling all nighters through the week and by the time I'm at Friday I'm falling sleep standing so I use Saturdays my rest day. I cant do that now and I need to put more caffeine into my body than normal which could become an addiction I can't afford to support for too long.I didn't exercise much at all I basically repeated the previous night

Now:

Emotional: I feel rested from my day long nap but that mean I'm gonna be up all night going into a week. I am gonna need to be extra careful tonight because I have nothing to do. I might end up needing to not play a visual novel I have been reading. I dont know why I read those as opposed to real books during late nights because I have plenty of books and initially I thought reading visual novels was pretty degenerate but now I dont feel shame every time I open the game. I should probably stop reading visual novels since the new one I downloaded doesn't have an option to turn off the explicit parts so I just have to gamble on when it will get bad and cover the screen with a pillow case when it does.

Physical:I am going to go for an early morning run or walk I'll decide that when I get there but I'm gonna go around my usual track regardless. I feel fine now because I just woke up I still have to do today's exercise on top of tomorrows in the morning though so we will see. I stopped drinking milk because I noticed I would go through about a gallon of milk in a day or two regularly and that is far from healthy and it didn't help that whenever I wore a heavy coat or someone patted my back it felt like I was getting stabbed due to my acne.

Temptation: There was not any real temptation today I was asleep so the most I had was getting out of bed but I beat that hurdle. I think if I take a cold shower, exercise, and stay on SFW portions of the internet I should be fine tonight but I need to be careful of late night blues if I start getting late night blues late enough into the night I an just go for a walk so there are solutions. I wont relapse as long as I have control of my actions and this thread is here as security.

OP here

well I missed the right time I was supposed to post so I guess I have to post twice today.

emotional:I was fine emotionally I noticed I was paying more attention to females in class so I guess nofap is working. Downside to this is keeping s streak is gonna get harder. I had a killer headache from the second I woke up but despite that I managed to stay energetic until lunch. I have been a little more moody around people so I need to work on calming down there but in private I seem to be pretty calm now which is an improvement over being stressed all the time.

Physical: I had a killer headache as previously mentioned and Advil didn't do much to help stop the throbbing. I don't know what caused it but its gone for the most part now. I did most of my exercise i didn't go on my walk because I slept in too late I need to set my alarm louder or something. I notice my posture has improved through this streak so I guess that does something for my confidence and overall health. I kinda need to get my erections under control cause they are starting to show up at more undesired times. I have a jacket that I can use now to hide them but I wont have that luxury for long.

Temptation: I have started being tempted by people I know from class which is a double edged sword. It means nofap is working but its not helpful knowing that I am about 21 days into my nofap streak and I have the rest of the year and a while after that to go. essentially living around people that act as temptation does not create a good recovery environment. Regardless I will need to power through these desires the spirit is stronger than the flesh and if it isnt it damn well will be by the time I'm done with it. I have decided to get rid of my visual novels I should have deleted them and I accidentally deleted one but I put teh others on a flash disc and am putting it along with other electronics in a storage locker. I hope that is enough. I also need to get off the internet more because I noticed the other night a demo to a visual novel I have been following was just released and I made the decision that I wont download it. well I will post later tonight.

OP here

emotional: I feel fine overall. I do notice some anxiety coming back and my twitch is coming back too. I feel like either hiding or hitting something. I have all night and I don't know what to do with it and I cant sleep. I still have energy and that is part of the issue. I know that if I relapse the anxiety will get worse and a bunch of other emotions will come into play and make my life hard to so I wont relapse but damn is this not pleasant.

physical: I am doing fine here. One reason I started nofap was because of my insomnia. I either cant sleep because I simply cant even though I have time to or I Have to stay awake to work. When I have to stay awake I feel tired but now it isn't because I am drained from a shitty decision to jerk off at four in the morning. I noticed that I am not as fit as I would like to be despite my best efforts when I had to drill out a hole for a build I am working on and I was getting winded pressing into the wood. That is absolutely pathetic I think I'm gonna start running that four to two mile route I have mapped out because Jesus Christ is that pathetic.

Temptation: I have mixed feelings about being attracted to people. I like it because it means I'm not a degenerate who is messing with what nature intended by beating off to some pictures. At the same time I don't like the feeling I get when I catch myself early on in a fantasy about a classmate. I can feel it in my teeth its like my heart has stopped for a second and I never get used to it. I guess its for the better I don't get used to it and if it acts as a deterrent for a relapse I will live with it but that doesn't mean I enjoy it. Also I was torrenting some files for a project I'm working on and while I was waiting for a download I caught myself searching for porn luckily I caught myself before I was able to finish the search but this shows that I gotta work extra hard from here on out to keep from slipping up.

Finals thoughts: This is probably just me being bitter at the end of a day that should be over but isnt. I am exercising and I'm gonna go from a run tomorrow morning. I put away all my games into the storage locker I mentioned. I think breaking from visual novels will be just as much of a shift in lifestyle as nofap but I can do it.

OP here

Physical: I didn't sleep at all last night and it looks like I wont be sleeping tonight either. I have been doing fine off an energy drink and some tea so I will be fine. I need to do today's exercise and tomorrows. I feel fine better than I have the past couple of days at least.

Emotional: I haven't had my priorities in order recently and because of that I have been falling behind in schoolwork. I will get back to the basics and re adjust my priorities. In all honesty I feel tired but I cant sleep. It isn't a normal tired its more of a I'm hitting the late night blues tired and I better sleep before I do something too stupid but I cant sleep just yet. Normally I would be playing a visual novel or something but now I am working on cracking a device of mine for pirating purposes and schoolwork I'm not sure is this is better or worse for keeping me busy.

Temptation: I was either too tired or satisfied with the caffeine I got today because temptation was minimal however I cant say the same for guilt. Even just sitting around some friends made me feel guilty for one thing or another then one second whatever it was slips my mind but I still feel unclean. I guess I gave in a bit bringing myself into visual novels yesterday with my attached image. It just brings back a feeling of not quiet nostalgia but yearning for what I don't know but something. I wont jerk off tonight no mater how tired or miserable I may feel because it will only make it worse.

final thoughts: I guess I'm gonna live one day at a time maybe take a nice shower in the morning after running down to the Walmart once my homework is done. dammit I miss visual novels but its gonna get easier.

>>5197

You're gonne make it anon.

OP here missed a day which sucks cause I missed day 25, one of my landmarks, so I'll give a two day update.

Emotional(yesterday):I was fine overall I think if anything I was a little stressed because my technology project was running slow and I had my device on the line.

Emotional today: I am fine today my anxiety isn't that noticeable unless I put extra stress on myself to seem prevalent and smart when presenting to others in a group setting especially to superiors. I am doing fine confidence wise my lows emotionally arent so much lows as just feeling on edge for long period of time which is preferable since I can handle that easily.

Physical(yesterday):I went on a half hour walk with a friend and we goofed off I didn't do my other exercises because when I got home I crashed. I had burned myself a few times while welding after school but the marks have gone away I'm all fine now.

Physical: I will do my basic calisthenics but I cant run tonight. I feel fine certainly better than I was before nofap.

Temptation (yesterday): I was a bit stressed when I couldn't get my project working and I brought on a friend who got it working to get an idea how to do it and I accidentally found his porn file. I realized what it was before I could get a good look but that threw me.It didn't help that for some reason my friends decided to discuss jacking off all day. I didn't relapse thank god but yesterday was a big one.

Temptation: I don't know what to think I notice when I'm around the girl I mentioned earlier I get tired. I don't know why but being around her drains me, its not a big deal I feel fine after a while so it isn't the same drain as fapping but I still get tired and I don't know why. I am noticing girls more than before and it irritates me I like the energy and the improved confidence but drive is a double edged sword I guess. I guess I need to get better at controlling myself mentally as well as physically. In the process of typing this I accidentally clicked on /zoo/ and left as soon as I saw it was /zoo/. I gotta get to sleep soon this is gonna be a long night otherwise. I made t to day 26 which is pretty big for me I plan to do nofap 2017 but I'm doing 100 days to reset myself I'm one fourth the way to my first landmark and I will make sure I kick this habit no matter how long it takes.

Final thoughts: My friend blew off a math class and found the solution to my tech issue and I owe him now but that is fine all that matters is I didn't lose about 150 dollars of electronics. I wont be pulling an all nighter tonight but Saturday night is gonna be me pirating games if I can get my fix working and me getting some tea and cookies at the Walmart to celebrate. I know I' better than pornography and masturbation I am stronger an these desires and I'm gonna make it. But first I got a lot of tech support to do to get my device working.

OP here I'm not technically a day late but hey I'm still late.

Emotional: I did nothing today so I can say I feel fine. I got my project working so I spent the day pirating files to run and its pretty nice seeing all off it pile up.

Physical: I spent the day sleeping and I haven't done exercise today I will do that tomorrow/today because I will actually be able to get out of the house. I need to work on my hygiene I decided that I will shave every other day or every third day, wash my hair every other day and shower with cold water once a day. I know this is basic stuff but recently my hygiene and sleep has been thrown off in part due to school but mostly due to poor time management.

Temptation: Since I spent most my day in bed there was some half conscious grinding happening. I didn't relapse which is great especially since this far in you have to be careful of triggers. I need to exercise some self restraint with my now completed project since it does have access to possibly tempting games. I have taken some care in making sure I don't run into too much of that but mistakes can still slip through the cracks and I need to be prepared mentally for that.

Final thoughts:Today could have been better in just about every respect. It was far from my worst since I started fapping but I cant compare myself to that past. I need to hold myself to a higher standard than I was at then. Work, People skills, And self-restraint should all be improving much more than they were pre-nofap and I'm gonna make that happen.

>>5378

>I'm gonna make that happen.

Thats the spirit, you're gonne make it brah.

OP here and I might actually be on time today.

Emotional: I feel the same as usual. I didn't do much today I only got out for a few hours around mid-day and went back to bed. I ended up having a few half conscious fantasies about the girl from class I have talked about in the past I am worrying that I am screwing myself over by thinking about her when I'm at vulnerable states like half asleep or late at night. bit I will get into that more in temptation. while I was half asleep I remembered my old porn habits and some memories. I think that playing a game I got recently triggered it I though that I was far past that degeneracy and it discourage me a bit that I still have that shit in my life but I wont forget my past if I go back. All I can do now is move forwards and learn to cope with what damage I've done to myself. didn't relapse in fact my past degeneracy is what got me to get out of bed. Whats worse is I cant leave these thoughts behind when I think back I have seen glimpses of my degeneracy in my fantasies about lets call her Jen for the sake of this accountability thread.

I just swat myself on the hand before I could really let my degeneracy take full form. I don't know what to do other than to continue avoiding porn and my risky thoughts when I can so I guess I need to do that better.

Physical: I got my alarm clock working so I am going to be waking up at five or so in the morning if my alarm clock has anything to say about it. This should reduce time spent under the sheets which is a dangerous place I'm quickly learning. I did my exercise just after getting out of bed this afternoon it helps with the thoughts and well its a nice outlet. I hear some rain coming in so I might not be able to run but I will still find a substitute. I do hope the rain stops in the early morning so I can still have puddles and mist but no actual rain.

Temptation: I need to either sleep more or less because I am losing control of my thoughts in between sleep and being awake. I fantasize about Jen which brings back memories of my degenerate porn I left behinds and then I'm left angry at myself and I have to get up and do something anything to get a clear mind back. I need to watch out because lets forget the fact that I promised myself that i wont date or get into a relationship more serious than friendship I would bet money Jen has no interest in me romantically or sexually and here I am making her the center of my worse thoughts. I also really need to be more careful about what game I download because even a game I though was family friendly was too much for me. I didnt relapse I didnt even grind but it took a lot of self control to dispel the porn images about the characters in the game that I didnt even know I remembered from my mind. I hate my past actions porn is something I need to work hard to get rid of if its an image on a computer, a memory of an image, or a fantasy about Jen or someone else I need to make an active effort to fight these back. I'm strong enough after-all or I better be because I'm not stopping until I get this past habit under complete

control.

Final thoughts: I noticed in the past few days I have been slipping mentally and physically. I cant afford to let up so I'm getting up earlier and working out in the mornings before my shower. Know what I'll get into reading more. I have few books and PDF lying around I might as well work on them. So that should help get me away from the computer and my thoughts away from my past and current shortcomings. Its worth a shot but its only gonna work if I follow through. I know I am going to follow through on the early wake up times reading is gonna be a little harder to focus on but hey I'm building habits and all I need to do is keep doing it. It gets easier and I am going to stick it out until I dont even need to make an effort to do these things I'm talking about then I'll keep doing it and add on more things. Self improvement is constant change.

OP here

Physical: I haven't done exercise but I noticed my acne is coming back but it isn't as horrible as before and it inst all on my back which is nice. I cant think of much else to note. I went on a walk today in the early morning and slept all day. I didn't have any thoughts about Jen or anything else I just woke up.

Emotional: I felt pretty good today I didn't have much in the way of stress I guess the reason I didn't feel stressed is because I'm avoiding what should make me stressed. I have assignments due that I am putting off I really should get to work on those I'll have them done by 12:45. I haven't thought about Jen too much after yesterday when I had to set myself straight. This is a relief in all honesty.

Temptation: as previously mentioned I haven't thought about Jen too much today as previously mentioned. I think this is a step in the right direction but I'm going back to class tomorrow an I'll see her ther so we'll see if this progress holds. I haven't really had any tempting moments today altogether.

Final thoughts: I should get my work done quickly so I can get to bed and wake up early. I hanet had muc happen today and that is good but I cant ease up because I had one easy day. I'll check intomorrow with my progress.

OP here I missed a day before so I'm posting for two days

(written on 1/18/17)

Emotional(yesterday): I had to work with a teammates frustrations on a project were working on. I managed to avoid getting her more mad while she calmed don so that is an improvement in the department of working with people.

Emotional: I was fine today nothing new since after I started nofap. I borrowed something from a friend of en for class and as we went off to our separate class from lunch I noticed stayed behind and looked at me weird before she left. Which for the class period kinda messed me up.

Physical (yesterday):I did some basic running during the dead time I have between class and project time. using the project time I burned myself on three separate fingers on my right hand at once. I passed out fairly soon after I got my schoolwork done.

Physical: The burn has not swollen up you can just see where the metal was on my hand and I cant feel things very well where I burned myself. I cant think of much else I know that I'm either staying up all night and bringing a monster with me to class or I'm going to bed withing the following hour. I gotta wake up at 6 and to be honest it might be more secure to stay up all night but I have a test so I need sleep.

Temptation(yesterday): there was not much in the way of temptation yesterday, nothing I can think of.

Temptation:I don't know why but during class as I was using the laptop Jen's friend loaned me I was just hit with a wave and I thought about relapsing then more seriously then than I have for the entirety of this streak. I was in class at the time so I am fine now. I dont know why it hit me then of all times but hey I know I'm not giving in any time anytime soon and if all goes as planned I'm never relapsing.

OP here and I really need to fix my posting times

I'll post another time today for Sunday

Emotional(1/20/17): I was fine of Friday emotionally. I guess I had some troubles being as confidant as I was when I started nofap when presenting. This is kinda expected. Nofap can only get you so far you know. I'm still better than where I was when I started but if I want to get better then I gotta put some work into it.

Emotional(1/21/17):I got up around mid-day and almost immediately I ha to go off to a competition for an old group I was part of. That being said I was running all over the place I wasnt just at the compitition so I was pretty busy and I didn't notice myself that much emotionally.

Physically(1/20/17):I didn't do any exercise on Friday.

Physically(1/21/17):I haven't done any real exercise for a while so I'm noticing that what little bulk I had from the exercise and the lopsided arm from years of jerking off is thinning out. I dont think that arm is ever going to be normal again which is a shame.

Temptation(1/20/17): My half awake dreams have gotten more extreme. I have started hugging and treating the pillows in my bed like how people would treat women inn their bed. Cuddling and the whole nine yards. I'm not proud of that but I guess it just goes to show that I'm getting pent up.

Temptation(1/21/17):The same thing from Friday continues usually when you I would get to this point I would have night emissions and I would be back to acting like a normal human. That hasent happened yet and I dont know when it will or if I should look forwards to that. Alot of the degenerate fantasies that would show up when I was half asleep I cant remember now.

Final Thoughts: I think I'm improving and its pretty big for me to make it this far. I have gotten to day 33 which is longer than any streak I've gotten before with or without aid of unusual circumstance. I want to make it through 2017 and then some but 2017 s the short term goal. To make it through 2017 I have to refine my habits though. I need to refine my hygiene, posting and work times, desires and expectations. I will post later today with Sunday's report.

OP here and I'm posting for two days again and it look like I'm going to be doing that again for today and tomorrow

Emotional(yesterday):I could have done better with managing my anger yesterday. I watch some kids regularly and There is one kid who is especially hard to manage. He fights with me no matter what I do and of course I cant hit the kid but he acts out all the time. I had to get him ready for school in the morning and he refused to goto bed until midnight then I come down at five in the morning and hes watching Pokemon. I get angry of course and yell at him. I get yelled at by his mom for him not getting to bed on time and yelling at her child. I still am watching these kids but I need to learn to manage kids and my temper better.

Emotional: I did fine today I went through with a presentation without breaking down to much. I never really BREAK down but I did well this time. I also was able to focus on my work more today than recently which is something I need to make a norm.

Physical(yesterday):There was nothing noteworthy I didn't get to sleep until late of course because I had to work with that kid. I was fairly alert in class despite getting little sleep and I dindt drink any coffee tea or energy drinks.

Physical: I decided to stay up all night and make sure that kid gets to sleep and stays asleep tonight so i'm not sleeping. I am going to drink an energy drink and get the bulk of today's work done tonight so I can nap during the day without to much pressure.

Temptation(yesterday):I decided that I wont sleep with pillows or more than one blanket in my bed because I would cuddle up with them and well that is just pathetic. I need to stay alert and if I'm grinding on pillows I'm not as energetic as I could be.

Temptation: I found that the late night blues I would get are going away. That was responsible for many relapses in the past and it would always make mys streaks harder because I would want someone to talk, hold. or walk with me during my late at nights. But in place of that I cant hear a few word or think about certain abstract things for too long before being reminded of old porn. it isnt clear anymore but I know the images that flash through my mind are immoral. I dont feel like relapsing for too long afterwards so I am able to manage it.

OP here

Emotional: today was not that fun for me to be honest.It started rough and ended rough. I got in arguments with my teammates and we got really pissy. But for some reason what pissed me off most was seeing my team members who sunk so goddamn low get comforted by her peers and takes an entire class period to just sit by her girlfriend and act sad so she can get attention from her significant others and others. I know I'm not in a place to judge here but I think that I'm getting tired of her bullshit. It didnt help that I had to go from class to class and see all my friend with their significant others to rub salt in one wound.

Physically:I'm noticing that I'm gaining a little weight after I stopped exercising. I really gotta get back into that.

Temptation:I felt frustrated today and I dont know what to do. I didnt relapse I'm not sure if I'm out of the woods yet but I didnt feel like fapping as soon as things went south, If anything I wanted to sleep. To respond to >>5723 I know that it isnt a celibacy challenge but I sperg out too much to be able to have anything more than an occasional conversation with a girl or just about anyone. I have friends but they are just as fucked up as me in some ways and well to be honest I'm kinda scared of them. I'm not that afraid of girls as a whole but I'm afraid of becoming either somone who thinks they are cooler or nicer than they are OR an asshole. I decided on celibacy as a way to keep myself from falling into one of those holes for a girl. But all that put aside for a moment every girl in my school is either dating someone, a bitch, or a lesbian.

OP here and i have a long night ahead of me

Emotional:I had a pretty good day today. I am not looking forwards to the workload I have to do tonight but is that is a price to pay for a nice day I'm willing to pay that toll. I felt great after getting a computer project out of the way and finding out a relapse dream wasnt real. I died a little inside when I thought I relapsed on day 37. I'm not proud of the fact that I had a dream of relapsing instead of being with someone. On the other end the dream wasn't as degenerate as some wet dreams I have had pre-nofap so I guess take your victory when you can.

Physical: I decided that I am going to get my exercise regimen back in order 15 pushups,20 dips, 20-30 curl-ups, and run in the mornings to the macdonalds to get a coffee when I pull all nighters.

Temptation: after I had my dream I felt alot less tense. It was like a weight was lifted. I had been either sleeping, lying in the fetal position wanting death, relief OR I was distracting myself with stupid projects like on the computer pre-dream and its nice not to have the desire to do that anymore. Dreams like this tend to come when I'm about to go fucking insane with tension and I always could use relief when I can get it. This dosent mean I'm relapsing though I'm still staying strong for 2017 and then some. I just think we can all agree that sometimes the thoughts or desires tend to weigh on you.

OP here and I'm back and I wish I didnt have to be here.

I'll spare you the bullshit I relapsed. I'm not proud I'm not happy and franky I dont want to post here or follow through with my punishments but hey noone likes screwing up this bad.

I was on a 48 day streak but I gave in and since I did I decided that as punishment I gotta get back on here and revive the hournal for a minimum of 21 days assuming I dont relapse again among other things. One of things being asying what I relapsed too well I relapsed to loli then I went onto cat-girls and I would have gotten to /zoo/ if my computer hadent died. One of the reasons I started nofap was because my fetished got to /zoo/ levels and I didnt want that to be a part of my life. There were nights I would want to gouge my eyes out other nights I would want to kill myself cause of what I got off too and some nights I tried. Sorry you have my journal back but I guess I'll list my rules for nofap from here on out.

Exercise: 15-20 pushups, 30-40 curl-ups, 20 dips, 20 squats, run when I can, pull-ups when I can (in the morning and afternoon)

Media:I get music at all times if I manage to get an mp3 player and only get video for school purposes. No visual novels, no anime, and obvuisly no NSFW content

Hygene: lukewarm and cold showers only

Social: I know this will hurt especially since I haven talked to her in a week but at the same time I dont think I will be able to be my at my best around Jen so I'll wait till day 14 to talk to her.

Tech: I get my laptop for school purposes and music transfer I guess but nothing more.

Meditation and sleeping on my back or side from now and on are important but I want to be clear 21 days are only a starting point for me. The hardest part is typically the first two weeks for me and I cant afford to mess up again. See you today in the afternoon with my update.

>>6701

You're in the same situation as me anon. I relapsed five times yesterday after my streak. Today is day 1. I hate the feeling so much; you always feel so drained afterwards. You probably know this already, but for some reason it's more difficult not to fap after you've already fapped once. Don't fall behind even more anon and do what I did.

>calisthenics

Try some of pic related OP.

I thought about starting a journal thread myself, but there have been so many journal threads on here lately that I didn't want to flood the board with yet another one. I hope you're alright with me occasionally posting in here, otherwise I'll start a general journal thread or something.

Like I said, I fapped 5 times yesterday. My dick literally hurts. My first mistake was getting my computer back. I had kept it at somebody else's house, but circumstances forced me to get it back before I was ready. I'm not going to blame circumstances on this though. I failed, not them. I get to this point in nofap where literally all I can think about is fapping. My head literally just flashes images of porn and I can't get them off of my mind. Ironically, having fapped myself into exhaustion might actually help me here. The truth is that I'm not even trying to do nofap. Honestly, I just want to stop using porn. I've conditioned myself ever since I started puberty to watch someone else have sex rather than participate myself, and I'm tired of it. This bond is hard to break though. Despite having "sex" a couple times (more like drunken flailing) my brain doesn't know how to enjoy it. It can only enjoy porn. Every time I attempt noporn, I end up attempting nofap as well due to the simple fact that I can only be stimulated by porn at this point.

I have a lot to do today. I have a paper to finish, a test to study for, some exercises and some martial arts lessons to go to. The only thing that's a possible concern here is the first two things. I feel somewhat prepared for the test, but I can't help but feel that there's something I'm not covering or don't know. I'm going to look over the section on organic molecules again and try to comb for something I'm missing. After that, BSing the paper should be easy.

>>6701

>I'll wait till day 14 to talk to her.

First off I have to congratulate you on a 48 day streak, that is better than I have ever gotten that is for sure, but you should NOT wait to talk to girls. You should not cut yourself off from female contact while you are no-fapping, I find that talking to girls actually helps a lot as it relaxes me and makes it easier for me not to fap, whereas being lonely and by yourself makes fapping more difficult to resist. Sometimes the longest streaks I have ever gone on, usually about a month, where when I had a girlfriend. If you surround yourself with girls and talk to and hang out with them as much as possible, I am sure that you will decrease your sexual urges since they are around you 24/7.

I would encourage you to talk to this "Jen" girl brother. Stay strong!

OP here and I need sleep but hey I gogt stuff to do

well its day 0 and well I guess this was a nice rehab day. I walked about six seven-sih miles today instead of dips and squats in the morning so theres that. to respond to >>6737 yeah I agree with you and well I decided to change that end of the bargin and I guess and yeah I'm talking to her. I found an old mp3 player so I have less of an escuse to be on my computer all the time for music the only issue is getting tit to work properly now, I think I might just get a new one if this one proves too much trouble. I felt fine after my five mile march to class in the mornings but that was only on-par with me pre-relapse so its an accomplishment but it isnt that big and I had to keep drinking tea or coffee in class to stay awake so its a trade. also >>6711 I dont mind if you post her every now and then I guess its better if we try to keep the jourmal stuff self-contained. See you guys tomorrow or somthing

OP here and I have a long night

I made it through day one so that is pretty cool but I cant rest just yet I have a long night ahead of me as I try to piece a computer back together after I accidentally fucked up the systems partitions. I have done my exercises and I finally can take a proper shower for the first time in a few days which is nice so I will have a cold shower. I still notice some temptation to go and look at some of my pre-nofap degenerate porn but I have resisted and I will keep doing so. The urges are only more present since I am using an old computer I used pre-nofap but that means nothing. I made it 48 days I can make it much further than that. I kinda dont know what to talk with Jen about we do have some shared interests but shes kinda quiet and well the interests we share I'm a bit more reserved about. She plays guitar, took dance, reads, and writes in her free time. I cant write for shit and I cant play an instrument. I am not that great at many things to be honest and I dont do much on top of that. I'm in a group who builds robots for competition as an inventory guy or welder and I'm not that great at either. That or I'm messing with tech, usually fixing things I broke. None of those things I guess would interest her so I'm at a loss of what to talk to her about some days.

>>6775

never fucking mind. I relapsed again and it was fucking furries and /zoo/ shit. I gotta go run or some shit. good news is I fixed the computer though.

OP here and I ade it through day 0…..again

well I fixed the computer so that is the good news. The bad news is I relapsed and I got no sleep at all. I really gotta get a good streak going again or else I cant pull all-nighters cause coffe does nothing for me if I dont have some energy to back to up.