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An Exercise in Satire

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All Hail The Bum Bum King!

File: 411058052133ccd⋯.jpg (91.11 KB,680x382,340:191,IMG_3313.JPG)

26580c No.352604 [View All]

Migrant boats are now landing in northern England in a change of tactic by people smugglers

Migrants making the perilous journey over the seas into the UK are changing course to avoid capture, it has emerged

>unscrupulous smugglers are sending people in small boats on 200-mile journeys to land in more sparsely populated areas further up the coast

>there have been at least two incidents of men landing in Lincolnshire in the last two months in a noticeable change of tactic

>it is thought they are exploiting the fact that Border Force patrols are so heavily focused on patrolling the English Channel around Kent that they can slip in unnoticed

(12th January 2019)

https://metro.co.uk/2019/01/12/migrant-boats-now-changing-course-avoid-bolstered-border-force-patrols-8335358/

Meet the migrants waiting to make their Channel dash

>“tell your Sajid Javid that he will have blood on his hands. We are dying because of him,” one of them shouts across at me, as I visit the site

>Mohammed claims to have already tried to cross the Channel several times by dinghy, with his last attempt coming as recently as several weeks ago; it was an anti-climax, he recalls with a hollow laugh, after the motor on his boat broke down several hundred metres from the French coast and he was quickly picked up by the coastguard

>according to Mohammed and other Iranians in the camp, smugglers and their middlemen live part-time among the migrants and in city town’s hostels, acting with relative impunity; their malign influence over the settlement is clear, with many groups of migrants refusing to speak to me, claiming that if smugglers saw them they could face retribution

(12th January 2019)

https://www.theneweuropean.co.uk/top-stories/calais-migrants-channel-dash-1-5846313

Russia warns Britain over call for new post-Brexit bases

>Russia has issued a warning after the Defence Secretary suggested Britain could expand its military presence around the world

>the Kremlin said that it "reserves the right to adequate retaliatory actions" if it deems post-Brexit British army bases mooted by Gavin Williamson pose a threat to Russia or its allies

>Russian Foreign Ministry spokeswoman Maria Zakharova said suggestions that the UK might build new military facilities around the world, namely the Caribbean and the Far East, were "destabilising" and "provocative"

(12th January 2019)

https://www.forces.net/news/russia-warns-britain-over-call-new-post-brexit-bases

UK Royal Navy to deploy Type 23 frigate to Japan

>the UK Royal Navy will deploy Type 23 frigate HMS Montrose to Japan in early 2019, Prime Minister Theresa May announced during a joint press conference with Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe held on 10th January in London

>the warship will be dispatched to Northeast Asia to help enforce sanctions against Pyongyang "as part of our joint determination to a peaceful resolution to tension in the region and the complete denuclearisation of North Korea", said May

>the deployment announcement comes after UK naval vessels were dispatched to the region three times over the past 12 months

(11th January 2019)

https://www.janes.com/article/85656/uk-royal-navy-to-deploy-type-23-frigate-to-japan

664 posts and 297 image replies omitted. Click [Open thread] to view. ____________________________
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3f4885 No.353271

>>353268

True Detective was a major TV series, lad.

Season 2 had a lead woman. Season 3 a lead black male actor.

Season 1 had two Woody Harrelson and Macsomething.

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92c32f No.353272

>>353271

macbeth

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f43157 No.353273

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

>>353271

Yeah I know, only the first one was good. At least the second season had some memes keek

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80eb7a No.353274

>>353271

that woman stabbing that piece of wood was annoying

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80eb7a No.353275

>>353273

implausible for a handsome alpha dad like that to have such a loser kid

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f43157 No.353276

File: 1fbb48937428a53⋯.png (508.46 KB,680x478,340:239,ClipboardImage.png)

It was kind of weird how they moved away from any supernatural things at all, it's kind of what made the first one more intriguing than just a regular detective show

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f43157 No.353277

>>353275

The mum had most of the custody I think

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d1633d No.353278

>>353254

I want to see this lad smh but my video games go on until 8pm

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3f4885 No.353279

>>353273

Used to get a drive in from a Welsh lad, we larped as Rust Cohle and Harrelson's character. He wanted to be Cohle but I pointed out to him that Harrelson always drives and I can't drive.

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9ccab7 No.353280

>>353243

wish i had the /tv/ copypastas of these smh

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f43157 No.353281

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

Cape kino introduction

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20d57f No.353282

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

One of my favourite soundtracks tbh.

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f43157 No.353283

>>353282

Maybe we'll watch that another time.

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3f4885 No.353284

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

This was stupid tbh.

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f43157 No.353285

File: ef430c7ce70b35c⋯.png (159.84 KB,220x339,220:339,ClipboardImage.png)

File: ee7a7e401ad8406⋯.png (5.95 MB,2000x2970,200:297,ClipboardImage.png)

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e18936 No.353286

File: 956608a0c674e43⋯.png (201.62 KB,405x420,27:28,ClipboardImage.png)

>>353280

Paul Bohill?

Yeah I know him by that name. Hell, I worked with him in small-claims. Back then we called him 'Paki Pulveriser' Bohill because he never came out of a property without a scalp, an ear, or covered with blood.

Most would call him insane, but that is why the High Court trained him. They saw potential. It wasn't until they learned his methods that they truly realised what a monster they created.

You see, most enforcement agents try to reason with the defendent. Not Paul. No, he used knives, clubs, pliers, you name it. After a few jobs I got a chance to talk to him one to one. He was wearing his blood stained hard hat, sunglasses, and stab vest, smoking a cigarette and drinking Old Speckled Hen. It was only 7AM, but you NEVER told Paul what he could and couldn't do.

I asked him why he used such violent tactics. He lowered his head and took a long slow draw from his hand rolled cig, pulled off his sunglasses and looked me right in the eyes, piercing my soul.

"I do it out of respect. Respect for the white race. These goat fucker scum bags don't deserve the mercy of a British council flat, but the slow torturous death at the hands of a British man!"

In a flash he pulled out his weathered, but razor sharp knife and stopped just short of sticking my gut.

"The look in their eyes when I slip this baby into their swollen, curry filled bellies is reason enough. To see the last lights flick off in their heads as they see a real High Court Enforcement Agent at work."

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9ccab7 No.353287

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f43157 No.353288

>>353286

Damn. I wish we saw this side of him on camera

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9ccab7 No.353289

the other night the lesbos were fully at it

never ever heard them like that before

i could hear their breathing and them slapping each others fannies

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20d57f No.353290

>>353285

>forgot my account again

Ah. I hate this site.

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2e0ce4 No.353291

>>353182

Where did you get this image, I swear I know these art hoes, esp the one on the left

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20d57f No.353292

>>353289

Stand next to the wall and shout "wahay".

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f43157 No.353293

File: 89de603b11a40e5⋯.png (348.09 KB,766x516,383:258,ClipboardImage.png)

5 minutes

https://www.rabb.it/22st

https://www.rabb.it/22st

https://www.rabb.it/22st

>>353289

Keek. What a mess they must make. Just seems like a pointless exercise for me, they end up using fake dicks anyway

>>353290

can't you join as an anon? It's open

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20d57f No.353294

>>353293

Is that a thing you can do?

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9ccab7 No.353295

>>353292

i usually put a cup against the wall and put my ear to it so i can hear it much better

>>353291

/tv/

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e18936 No.353296

File: 78f771ddf34f9a1⋯.png (526.78 KB,582x535,582:535,ClipboardImage.png)

>be on the way to carry out an eviction when Paul's nose starts to twitch

>he rolls the window down

>what do you smell Paul?

>muzzies, lad. a dozen at least by the stench

>he grips the handle of his bowie knife

>does put me in the mood for a good korma though

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80eb7a No.353297

File: 3228e6af2c4327a⋯.jpg (40.27 KB,621x746,621:746,goth_gf_outfit.jpg)

> no

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e18936 No.353298

File: cb44497c169b599⋯.png (448.29 KB,727x485,727:485,ClipboardImage.png)

>It was summer, 2017. We had a mass eviction job in North Kensington for a landlord of a large residential tower block at 5PM, and we were due to clear a family of 5 pakis out of a council flat at 6. We show up to this building, and it's massive. We do a canvass of the first floor, and the vermin inside scatter like cockroaches and barricade the doors. We didn't have time to wait it out. So I suggested a quicker way…

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f43157 No.353299

>>353294

I am not sure, I have seen people join with random names so I assume so.

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9333f3 No.353300

eeeeeughh, feel like fucking garbage

I need to go to bed earlier, I went to bed at 4:something and had really low quality sleep with all these fucking weird dreams. one, I was desperately trying to contact a friend, so I cracked open the top of an egg, getting raw egg all over the place, and screamed into at the top of my lungs, "ANOOON! ANOOOON!!!" as if were a cell phone. and that was only the tip of the iceberg

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f43157 No.353301

File: 8eec797db41c093⋯.png (258.46 KB,1200x541,1200:541,ClipboardImage.png)

File: 8e452221e23ee96⋯.png (1.02 MB,1000x562,500:281,ClipboardImage.png)

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9ccab7 No.353302

>tfw caw will never post her feet

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3100c8 No.353303

File: 2e042abcb798a12⋯.jpg (10.22 KB,293x282,293:282,1422270138618.jpg)

>>353302

>Foot fags.

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9ccab7 No.353304

>>353303

armpits, feet, boobs, bums, noses, jaws, i love them all

i love the female body

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3100c8 No.353305

File: c35cbbad4d7ec5e⋯.jpg (59.67 KB,782x788,391:394,1459880202899.jpg)

>>353304

Bit gay lad.

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9333f3 No.353306

Invidious embed. Click thumbnail to play.

>>353303

don't be a homo

>>353304

>armpits

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3100c8 No.353307

File: a75121de2d6f78d⋯.jpg (30.48 KB,590x442,295:221,1459075327643-4.jpg)

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9ccab7 No.353308

>>353305

says the literal gayist

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3100c8 No.353309

File: 1e5a4fe08eaba1c⋯.jpg (11.32 KB,231x255,77:85,1469854665330.jpg)

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f43157 No.353310

File: b9ac08b6ea89aba⋯.png (118.86 KB,396x385,36:35,1534859187723.png)

>Film set in Germany, sometimes people speak English, other times people speak German

>no hardcoded subs for the German

What the fuck is wrong with people

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d1633d No.353311

File: 11575166dcf5d1d⋯.png (2.96 MB,1479x1006,1479:1006,napwoj.png)

keep getting shot or dying early in the round smh

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fae67f No.353312

>>353311

Acquire proficiency

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a0e8b3 No.353313

The world of Udemy is pretty weird.

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d1633d No.353314

ok it's done

are the films still going?

someone link me tbh

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f43157 No.353315

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3100c8 No.353316

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9333f3 No.353317

need fresh bread

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68d78e No.353318

File: c6a2919497f9860⋯.png (368.22 KB,876x960,73:80,ClipboardImage.png)

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7e0d6c No.353321

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9333f3 No.353323

>>353318

wtf I want to invade Iran now

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