/mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders

make an appointment with a psychotherapist?

Depends where you're from

>>13713

If mental issues run in your family then your family is probably already worried about you. Do any of them get professional medical care? They might be able to point you towards someone if they do, or did in the past.

This is gonna sound like some useless bullshit because it is, in the sense that it's not gonna help you the same way medication and a shrink would, but: you have to take care of yourself on a basic level. Eat, drink, go outside, talk to people, keep yourself busy. None of those things have to be hard. You can eat crap, drink tapwater, check the mail, post on imageboards, and play videogames, and you'll be better off than you'd be without doing that stuff.

Keeping yourself and your environment clean is good, too. Shower and shave, don't leave dirty clothes on the floor, brush your teeth before taking a 4-hour depression nap in the middle of the day… if you can't do anything else, try to stay "functional" on this level.

>>13716

+1 stay functional, you still have your "little place home" with hobbies you like. Think about the time you'd lose all of it, aren't the little things in your life part of your strength? Or are they keeping you down? From what?

>>13713

> a letter to myself […] it wasn't going anywhere

You assume it wasn't going anywhere.

> Things have been slipping away from me as time passes.

Are you sure you're losing it or is more a longing for a drastic change in your life? Haven't you had ideas about things to change in your life? Have you tried? All of them?

> I get ignored […] i don't truly blame them

99,99% of people can't listen truly and don't even know nor wonder what's going on deep down in themselves.

You suppose they understand there isn't a solution to your problems, like you thought about it yourself.

> how-do-i-find-the-courage-to-face-my-issues

> I can feel something is wrong, but never seem to be able to do anything about it.

Repetitions forms the loop of the hole you're trying to escape from. That you've found it out by yourself is a good sign. The sign that you're aware is like a baby's first footstep.

It shows that you're able to improve and thus that you're not condemned to feel perpetually like this.

> how do i finally ask for help, without worrying my family

Attention please, whatever your parents are having hard time with, you must only think about yourself in this case.

If you think that your mental health is in danger, then YOU are the priority. You need to focus the problems and not to escape the responsibility by bring up secondary effects.

Think about treating the root cause; that's btw how I feel it about you, you're shutting down more and more ego function to find the problem; it's like using chemo agains AIDS.

There are other ways around it, I don't know if you really want a hard reset, but the people you want help from can only guide you on a path, they'll never solve it for your nor will they be friends, they're professionals and mental illnesses are their jobs.

>>13716

I made a big reply about two days after you responded, but the post wouldnt go through, and i ended up losing it. I then didnt have the energy to type it out again. So thanks for the reply.

Now to respond, again.

My family has gotten help as far as i can tell. Theyve never had any major issues where it was found out afterwards, but im hearing this 3rd/4th person out at this point. I have no contact with the family, just know some of the history.

I do take care of myself, to a point. I function, i work, pay bills and such. But then i sit in my room by myself most of any free time, and get drunk and screw around on the internet.

I am hygienic.

i dont end up talking to people much.

i am by myself most times, but i research alot, so i believe i have some intelligence over the common person.

Im very bad about my room becoming a mess, there are clothes everywhere..

Im functional in a way that i dont allow myself to fall below the "norm" level, that someone would notice anything.

I Exist.

>>13728

>You assume it wasn't going anywhere.

i do. i know my writing style, and how it would end up like. Mainly, noone would ever read it, and i felt the need for some kind of feedback.

>Are you sure you're losing it or is more a longing for a drastic change in your life? Haven't you had ideas about things to change in your life? Have you tried? All of them?

Its honesty both. Mentally, i feel different, i seem at a different speed, different view point, making connections not normally seen. Basically what i said in the second post, about how im pushing off visual delusions.

I without a doubt want some change. Im actually going back to school currently, which i feel is a big leap in the right direction.

>99,99% of people can't listen truly and don't even know nor wonder what's going on deep down in themselves.

You suppose they understand there isn't a solution to your problems, like you thought about it yourself.

I think i understand what you meant, and i've thought about that myself. On the subject of how others think themselves, this is a big part on why i cant relate with others, be friends and such, is that there is no thinking on their part, its all reactionary events, and regurgitating what they saw on a screen. They have no substance, and i cant fake it for long.

>Repetitions forms the loop of the hole you're trying to escape from. That you've found it out by yourself is a good sign. The sign that you're aware is like a baby's first footstep.

It shows that you're able to improve and thus that you're not condemned to feel perpetually like this.

Yea, and this is what frustrates me most about myself. Rather than try and fail, i think and dont act. When i dont act, i then think about how ill act next time, to not fail, but then never do it. This is one of those things you cant really put into words, but there is a definite cycle, and ive dug a rut that i cant climb out of by myself.

>Attention please, whatever your parents are having hard time with, you must only think about yourself in this case.

If you think that your mental health is in danger, then YOU are the priority. You need to focus the problems and not to escape the responsibility by bring up secondary effects.

I know, I've always known this, i'll admit. I know how to find a number that i can call to get help, at a reasonable price. I end up stopping myself from making that golden first call, because i dont want to validate that i have a problem with my self, with my mind. I understand this make NO sense, as i made this frickin post in the first place.

I think a big part is i have not one person to confide in, to help me on the way. Not being melodramatic, just the kind of rut i dug myself into.

>Think about treating the root cause

i would give anything to know the actual cause of this shit. I have a uneasy feeling something happened when i was a kid, but cant think of what. I had an ok childhood, i wasnt beaten THAT much, but i did see some shit, felt it in a secondary kinda way, with parents and shit. Then i think it could be completely chemical/genetic, that nothing i could've done would have stopped this. I dont know if i prefer that or not. Finding the answer is alot easier when you know the question.

>you're shutting down more and more ego function to find the problem; it's like using chemo agains AIDS.

not sure what to say here?

>they're professionals and mental illnesses are their jobs.

why is it so damn hard for me to talk to these people though, i don't understand! I logically know they'll help, they'll be confidential, but i cant fucking do it.

Thank you for taking the time to write this reply, its nice to know there are those out there that will respond with help when asked.

P.S. i cant stop drinking. It's not enjoyable anymore, and i do it out of a habit so bad, i'll be driving home, then snap, im standing in line with beer, snap, im at home drinking. I cant remember the last time i went without a drink for longer than 3 days. Its been years, at minimum.

>>13743

>i think and dont act. When i dont act , i then think about how ill act next time, to not fail, but then never do it

>They have no substance, and i cant fake it for long.

> P.S. i cant stop drinking

> home drinking

> [the professionals] why is it so damn hard for me to talk to these people though, i don't understand!

I'm categorically against them in matters where the patient is still himself, feels himself and finds out his problems; thus if the patient is aware and understands only too good what method of recovery is *not* working.

Maybe you protect yourself from [them]; is *their* path the one one you want to take? Do you fear what they could tell you?

Your helplessness is not just about a bad thing that may have happened in your life or the neurological damage left of being hit or being an alcoholic for some time.

But every single bad effect contributes to your general illness under the supervision of the captain on board, you.

Yes, you let it affect you, you let flood in all the pain or despair or boredom, you think and never stop thinking while the "normies" out there only focus on their own materialistic matters you can't relate to (so far away). But hey, that's part of the life too, isn't it? What do you enjoy doing? Do you despair and stop doing things you like? Then try it 10x harder until you fulfill your good-enough-meter.

As far as I can relate to your situation, without ever having had visual delusions though, you are a thinker kind of person. Find the right activity to consume this ability, as work or as hobbie, and then you'll really start living, then you'll exist and realize yourself. You will faill and keep trying again because you'll discover what's important in life. Think about it as a good way to break the cycle.

Not with the questions, not with the thoughts, but by doing, by being active and stopping being this weird theoretical time traveler at least for a second to breath. Quit planning and start working/enjoying.

As little as decisions seem like to be, they're really BIG BIG for your future. Commit to yourself, commit to what you want in your life or try finding out what it is that you want by *doing* them. Don't suppose but try.

Then work on it every day, a little, and every time a little more. If you like your bad habits too much (drinking, being messy, antisocial), keep them, but moderate them more and more to be the commander in charge again, to develop the feel of how it is to be your own voice of reason.

>P.S.

You may understand it's only about your state of mind; in a way, you want to look like / to make your environment look like how you feel inside. But not like you really are. You aren't your feelings, you aren't the despair, you only accept them and you can also shut them down.

You know this place you're right now, but did you know that you can travel to better levels only by changing the music you're listening to?

Stop being your jailer, break the cycle, just fuck it. Don't you agree?

I hope these simple words help you to grasp the meaning.

>>13762

Thank you for responding, again, im assuming.

I HAVE been doing better. Going back to school has put me in front of numerous people again, vs the x amount of my job.

While its all really superficial, its something.

To have something im accountable for, as im paying for college with cash, with no help, i feel more attached to my education vs when i had grants and was freely spending money everywhere.

I'm definitely a thinker. i think of how things relate to each other in ways that would take me an hour to explain a concept to someone, and how it relates to something else in X fashion. Blah Blah.

>Quit planning and start working/enjoying.

Yea, i really need to do this. I think a situation out, and it seems to be settled at that point, before i even started to move.

Im pretty committed to finishing school, have a sorta vision on what with happen afterwards. Its nice, having a plan, even if its as i go.

>Then work on it every day, a little, and every time a little more. If you like your bad habits too much (drinking, being messy, antisocial), keep them, but moderate them more

Ive actually been doing this, ill set a series of tasks i have to do before drinking, lol.

I generally end up cheating myself slightly, but the task gets done to a point, more than i would've done before atleast.

>You may understand it's only about your state of mind; in a way, you want to look like / to make your environment look like how you feel inside. But not like you really are. You aren't your feelings, you aren't the despair, you only accept them and you can also shut them down.

I think like this alot, that its all reactions to things outside of myself that i cant control, but then i keep slipping into the trap, becoming part of the issue, feeding the troubled thoughts itself. I know that doesn’t make sense.

>You know this place you're right now, but did you know that you can travel to better levels only by changing the music you're listening to?

Well..

>This is actually my secret.

This is actually pretty huge for me, music. I avoided saying anything about it, because i didnt want to be too weird on the topic(s), of needing help. But i'll be direct..

There are numerous periods, sometimes weeks at a time, where music will actually be talking to me/about me. It'll comment on what ive done, and where im going. Usually the speaker is someone i believe i fell from, as like in a relationship, but in a way that we're both eternal beings. That we've had this huge long history, and something major happened, and i find myself here, in a vr/life simulation environment. That the music is a kind of narrative, as i said above, and also the person apologizing, or berating me for my past deeds.

Then there's times i think its actually me singing my despair, my blah blah, that because its all eternal messages, i hear myself, to show myself something?

I feel like i hear the music in the wrong order, that it would make more sense if i sat down in placed all the songs that have meaning to me, that seem to say something, in order.

BUT, i don’t want to do this, i try not to acknowledge it. If i do it, i'll end up like that stereotypical "crazy" person with al the papers on the wall, with arrows pointing and such…

Music talks to me, and an eternal being is wishing me to come back. Sound great, right?!?

Alot of the songs tell me to, in short, kill myself to get there faster.

I logically know im probably just associating with the music too much, that i just pick and choose what i hear, and that maybe its just the type of music i listen to. But I can’t talk myself out of it, it seems to connected, too much of a coincidence.

But the periods where im "under", im DEEEP. I, at this point, remember why im where im at, that something suspicious is going on, that reality isnt real.

That something major happened, something that would be sung about in epics of the past.

I have no true way to express how i feel at these points, but manic would be the word i would guess for hypothetical persons viewing what ive said, if i explained it.

I know its not right.

I haven't felt right in a while.

im now listening to the music now that im talking about it

This is more than I wanted to say.

Oh well, in the name of therapy, right!?

Bump?

This board will take the place of all mental healthcare professionals and should be used as one.

Any and all posts asking for a diagnosis, advice on medication, or anything else that only your doctor is qualified to make judgments on will be awwwright.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-Just-Do-It

LOL, how did i miss this??!?