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No.13554 [View All]
Feels that don't deserve their own thread
How do you feel, anon? How was your day?
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No.15924
No friends because think they're doing stuff to harm me behind my back.
Can't walk down the street without looking back constantly.
Lied to co-workers about myself, don't want to give personal information
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No.15926
>>15924
I know this feel. But it's not that I feel people have malicious intentions towards me, so much as I feel it's inevitable they will act maliciously towards me, i.e. betray my trust.
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No.15928
every time my dad goes outside he comes back and says crazy shit. for example today he said that the Italian mafia is circling the neighborhood in cars and are trying to kidnap him/ steal from him. what the fuck, i dont think he is diagnosed with anything maybe depression but i think he is getting progressively crazier with time. he is on a lot of pills and injections for his heart, maybe they affect his mind..?
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No.15933
>>15928
what meds does he take?
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No.15939
>>15928
tell him you're with the mafia and the don sends his regards
it'll be funny
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No.15940
im going to visit my aunt today
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No.15941
Normally I'm so dead inside that I just can't cry anymore, but tonight I've felt so low that even I've been crying my eyes out, because of what a burden I am on my mom. Out of my many failures in life, the one I'm most remorseful for is being her son. She deserved so much better.
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No.15942
>>15941
I wish she was here with me right now so I could apologize for being such a terrible son
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No.15943
it seems that im going to china soon
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No.15945
AvPD = Ghost
>Sob story child abuse background
>Not a single social connection in real life or online but believe I value companionship
>Severely stunted emotionally
>Live entire life hating normals and believe normals are all that exist
>Discover Internet at age 18
>Lurk YT and various other websites, disgusted
>Lurk ceddit, disgusted
>Lurk cuckchan, slightly less disgusted
>Lurk 8chan, some decent content and people, seems I missed the Internet golden age by a long shot anyway and I am part of the cancerous influx of new users
>Lurk for years
>Continue lurking
>Terrified of posting on an anonymous imageboard
>Not a complete retard intellectually but lack basic communication and language skills
>Still have no identity or soul
>Live as an outcast of the outcasts
>Life isn't objectively bad enough to justify killing myself
>Lurk forever
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No.15946
>>15945
>Lurk ceddit, disgusted
>Lurk cuckchan, slightly less disgusted
>Lurk 8chan, some decent content and people
Welcome home, anon.
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No.15949
8chan is burning down
i just love it when shit burns down
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No.15953
>>15949
Like a very fat phoenix, 8kuk rose from the ashes
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No.15966
my sister tried to kill my dad again
I feel so powerless hiding in my room and listening to them both cry
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No.15967
>>15966
The solution is clear.
You should push your sister down a ravine, and tell your parents she ran away to Clown College.
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No.15972
I'm not mentally ill, I was just saw someone being told to come here. So I got curious. Did you know melted Kraft singles on eggs with ground meat beans and some onions is really good? You should try it random internet strangers. So all in all a pretty average day, worked out. Waited till 12, making it today a full year of my imprisonment!
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No.15984
>>15966
You can't confront her about it? I need more context anon, if that's okay with you.
>>15972
Do I have to mix it all, or is it like a british breakfast? Why were you imprisoned?
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No.15989
>>15972
I like this Idea but I would modify it by using higher quality cheese with Pasture raised eggs and beef and some green vegetable like peas or broccoli. Remove the beans and it becomes keto.
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No.15992
>>15984
I mix it for best effect with cheese on top.
>>15989
I don't know about peas but other legumes like lentils or chickpeas could work. As for the cheese you could replace it with provolone that's a nice melty cheese and not as unhealthy as kraft.
I've honestly never tried keto so I wouldn't know how it works.
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No.15998
>>15984
my sister is an emotionally abusive monster. She loves to make our parents cry over her, so she cuts herself right in front of them to see them cry. If it's not cutting, she'll bang her head against a wall repeatedly, or scream herself hoarse. Last time, me and my dad had to pin her down until she gave up. My dad was holding down her upper body, and I was sitting on her legs. My dad was crying the entire time (3+ hours). I felt like crying too, but I just couldn't. I couldn't move. I couldn't do anything.
Today, she came into my room and screamed at me for using her tweezers. My dad, who was sleeping, woke up and tried to calm her down. She started slashing her skin with the tweezers to get her blood on them, so I wouldn't use them anymore. My dad was crying before he went back to bed. He has work tomorrow, less than 4 hours from now, but there's no way he's sleeping soundly after that. I hate this and I hate everything. My sister is going to kill our parents and there's nothing I can do about it.
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No.15999
>>15998
Your sister sounds just like my brother. He was a real monster when we were growing up - he stole $1200 from our mother to feed his gaming addiction, which he got away with to this day, he got a gaming computer "for school" (he thanked 'em by dropping out) while I got a shitty laptop that barely even worked and which I ended up sending to the scrapyard, he ate everything in the house to the point the grocery bill was increasing annually just to keep up, my parents favored him so much to the point my mother, despite her knowing I was desperate for a job, got HIM a job at the place she worked only for him to not even bothering to show up, skewering her image among her coworkers (or so she says) and, at one point, when our parents FINALLY got a clue and tried to cut off his internet, he faked a the rope attempt that got the police involved, and he wasn't even punished for it - he simply just moved on like it was just another day. The previous incident, my father and him got into such a big fight that my brother smashed to pieces the old desktop computer we had just so no one else could use it (the fight having started over him hogging the computer and not finding a job).
To this day, my parents STILL prefer him over me. I'm the one who graduated, I'm the one who's worked, I'm the one who's kept out of trouble, I'm the one who has actually DONE something with my life, and yet HE is the one who to this day is the apple of their eye. I guess it's because I was diagnosed with mild autism or whatever (the story keeps changing, and even if it was true, it's not like my parents ever really cared to do anything about it). He only just finally moved out of their house long after I did, and yet they're all applauding him and acting like it's the Second Coming while, when I moved out, they that's nice, dear'd me out the fucking door. I could never have a real relationship with my parents - my dad was always too chickenshit to just tell me he didn't care, and my mom would scream at me because she, like my brother, was "always right" even when it was fucking obvious she had NO idea what she was going on about. The best way to trigger this is to say ANYTHING about the Jews. She's a hardcore Zionist to the point that even if I just say the word "Jew" or "Jewish" around her, she automatically assumes I'm being anti-Semitic and goes off on a rant that might as well be Israel fuck yeah. For the record, she's not Jewish herself. She's one of those Christians in name only types because while she claims to believe in Jesus, she never goes to church - she never even leaves the house.
My parents are pretty fucked up - dad's a pussywhipped cuck who never could hold down a job for more than a couple weeks because "somebody always screwed him," and who had us living paycheck to paycheck because he loved to splurge way beyond his means because he was jealous of an alleged welfare scammer who he kept insisting he should report over it but never did - all talk, no action. Said "scammer" was actually pretty alright and at least had his shit together unlike my father. My father's the type of deadbeat dad who doesn't do a thing for his son, then whines to said son about how all the other dads' sons at work make him look bad. He also liked to throw shit at me (never my brother, of course) and beat my mom a few times, so I know exactly how >>15966 feels.
>I feel so powerless hiding in my room and listening to them both cry
I felt much the same growing up, but I'd be hiding in my room and listening to myself cry. I never knew what the fuck I did wrong to my parents to deserve the blatant neglect. The only part of the neglect my brother got hit with was that we have NO pictures of ourselves past our birth. We have our baby pictures, but after that? NOTHING. My father used to bitch at my mother for not taking any pictures and hanging them up on the walls like all the other parents, but he never took the initiative himself.
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No.16000
>>15999
(Continued from previous post)
My father was too busy feeding his diabetes with his piss poor diet (but whenever he saw me with a can of coke or whatever, he'd guilt trip me over it even if he himself was drinking one) and whining about the latest job he walked out on. If you didn't feed his "I'm always right" complex? You were fucked. You had to do things HIS way or not at all to the point that he never celebrated milestones I reached because I didn't achieve them the way he wanted. Got a first job? Nah, I wanted you to get a job THERE instead. Met a girl? Nah, THAT one would be better. Brought home a report card? Nah, you don't have the grades I wanted you to have. He also used to subtly take jabs at me for not having a girlfriend by randomly honking at girls he thought were hot while we were out on drives; it's not that I couldn't get a girlfriend, it's that I didn't want to scare one off by introducing her to my parents. I imagine I likely lost out on some potential relationships simply because I kept skirting the idea of going steady with a girl just so she wouldn't meet them.
My mother, on the other hand, cucked my father only to get pumped and dumped, is super paranoid to the point she always used to tell us she'd get a video camera so she could "prove" she was right about "those people" but she never did, is a hypochondriac to the max, let herself go to the point her body's fucked up but it's everyone else's fault but hers, spoiled rotten my brother only to then simultaneously hate his guts to the point she AGREED with me when I dared to tell her I wish my brother HAD committed the rope, and ALWAYS has to have the last word. She literally has a complex where she has to be right or else - seriously, you can't prove her wrong in ANYTHING because she WILL lash the fuck out. I also couldn't have any friends come over because she'd always RAGE about the idea and make up excuse after excuse to the point my father, who used to support me and want them to come, eventually gave up. They'd never come and I'd lose my friends entirely shortly thereafter. I don't even have any extended family to reach out too, because my father was adopted (and I have NO info about his adoptive or bio family whatsoever) and all I have on my mother's side is a grandma she literally treated like the Antichrist (but then she'd blame me when I said that was why I never wanted to reach out to her in the first place), an agoraphobic sister and a brother whose name is the ONLY thing I know about him.
When I moved out, I no contacted the three of them and haven't heard from them since.
>>>15998
>My sister is going to kill our parents and there's nothing I can do about it.
At first, I used to dream my parents/brother would all die, but then I just ended up saying what's the point? I shouldn't have to think about that when it comes to my family. I just wish I was aborted or given up for adoption at this point, because the signs were there even before my brother was born - I'm the older one.
>Anon, why can't you just be normal?
My father told me this after discovering he had a gifted child on his hands. To this day, it's the one thing I remember most from him. Pardon me if I'm rambling or whatever, I just have a lot to say.
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No.16001
>>15945
It doesn't all apply to me, but your post hits me hard, anon.
>Not a complete retard intellectually but lack basic communication and language skills.
That's me to a T. Book smarts to the max, but no smarts elsewhere.
>Life isn't objectively bad enough to justify killing myself.
I used to think of killing myself, but then I thought: well, why should I have to? I didn't ask to be born in the first place, why should I have to potentially risk getting some form of locked in syndrome paralysis just to get the fuck out? So, I exist sovery funnyy in a limbo of sorts.
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No.16027
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Kinda shit; the guy I've been talking to has been acting a bit weird lately.
We exchanged 'I love you' recently (he did first) and it felt so good and like flowers were blooming inside my stomach but lately, after I expressed my concern that it might be a bit difficult considering he lives in the middle of nowhere USA. I suggested he come up to me in Canada but he doesn't have a passport. I do but if I visit him I'll have to deal with his mother who he lives with and she basically starves him, and then gets mad when he gets his own food. So whatever whatever. Anyways, he's just been really distant and just seems not okay and I keep telling him he can tell me anything and I'd rather know if something is up so I can help him through it. I was watching something and missed a message from him, he left it there for 20 minutes but then by the time I saw it he had deleted it and said "nothing to see here." I'm worried, I'm scared, and most of all I'm disappointed he won't just tell me. I don't know if it's because of the whole distance thing I brought up or if it's because I've been so manic and depressed lately but
TL;DR: AAAAAAAAAG!!!
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No.16039
i really like this board, i guess it reminds me of /fringe/ in a way, which i kind of miss now that its gone, in fact i miss a lot of old 8chan stuff. more generally it kind of feels like the things in my life which i have enjoyed are slowly getting eroded, its hard to keep the memoriese of it all alive.
yo i dont really know what to say but i guess ill just let this be a stream of consciousness type thing. sucks that alot of my thoughts dont naturally find themsleves words. like i gues ive been moving away from verbal language and focusing on visual/auditory language and shit thru the form of art…. fuck i am getting distracted coz of a rash on my arm which really wants me to scratch it. i wont tho, coz i have a lot of willpower at the moment. just not the willpower to be not distracted.
confusion. i hate it. must destroy, its like i fold in on myself sometimes, trying too hard, extending the limbs in a way which snaps the tendons. gotta stay relaxed, go back in the center of the lighthouse, before ascending again..+
i hate some things about how i react, they call it stereotypy i think, and its coz of dopamine. its what contorts my feelings in ways which cause them to fade out of existence, like destructively interfere. i wonder if anyone else feels the same way. fuck i hope i dont sound like a schizo, especially since i mentioned /fringe/ . .. yeah im scared of what people will think…. just kidding, but, maybe….
i want people to see the truth, sometimes i fuck it up and ruin it though. why cant i affect the world exactly how i feel inside, why does something have to be between my soul and reality that fucks things up in between. ah fuck shit thats irrelevant now, i think im doing well at the moment. im really lonely tho and i got a lot of good things in my heart which i cant share with anyone. i wish it was easy to find someone, and not have it be a big judicial process where i have to sign paper work and all that stuff, why cant i just run a magnet over a box and find exactly what i need, it would be better for the both of us. i want to see peoples souls and have them see mine, alas its not the status quo, i dont think…………………………………………….. this has degenerated quite a bit, now essentially im just looking for love hehe,,, in this thread…. someone please reply.. :—)
honesty is always the best, coz even if you are honestly disgusting or gross or degenerated, once you know it, and other people know it too, everyone can work together to fix it… even if it means violence or death. it would make the world a more beautiful place..
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No.16040
cont.
im sorry i intended to talk more about my feelings than my internal philosophies/morality. im rambling on but words are good, ive never wrote this much before and its actually kind of fun.i did it for myself, thats what i will tell the jury. when i face the music of no one else reading this, being lost to the void. at least im in the void with my creations too, theyre not alone and scared. some day i will die i wonder what that will be like. i hope i can rewind and look through every thing which happened in my life, so that nothing is truly forgotten.i dont want to forget, thats why sharing is so important, thats why i make art. fuck, im feeling my feelings now, reminded myself of that awesome book which i have been living in, theres a playground i used to go to a lot as a child, its made of this nice dark oak wood ffs idk if its oak but its dark. and its nice and reminds me of a lot of things which make me myself at this moment. the smell of dirt as well, and lights. walking around in the dark in the night, in the suburban place which i live. its beautifuil in its own way, streetlights.. i see lots of foxes and sometimes chase after them. some times i cover myself in isopropyl alcohol too, actually i only did that once and it was a long time ago. i remember it fondly though, such an interesting time, so nice….
agh im getting torn down by fucking evil things again, so ryy . its not evil its just … fuck.. sorry. okayy ive gone off balance. i need to learn good balance and how to repair myself. it generates a wierd, like, growth, like a tumor kind of, it s wierd. like i can assimilate it if i try. but its just there and taking space tooooooo, ahh its got al ot of mass in it, could probably be food, or like mana/magicka whatever magic mystical ethereal energy or whatever… yeah.. hehehehehehe it actually makes me laugh alot. i find it funny. i hope some one reads this and laughs along side m.e anon or whoever reading this i love you so much . .. like i want to.. okay i shouldnt say. im not even imagining doing that to a real human or physical form…………. better stop here i guess..
i hope im not over the character limits now….
just briefly looked over what i wrote, sorry about the cringy disingenous bad shit , i like to believe i am trying to fix it. pls just know that if you recognized it and were disgusted, that i am also disgusted. i just lack the energy and finesse to fix it. (not talking about anything in particular)
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No.16045
I feel absolutely terrible.
I have severe OCD. One of the things it does is make going to the bathroom into pure torture. Every time I do it, I have to spend at least an hour and a half washing my hands and arms. Most of that time is spent repeatedly washing the same parts because I believe I somehow didn't do it properly. I have a particularly hard time washing the outside of my hands (the side the pinky finger is on), probably because I can't see the soap going onto it so I can't be sure it's getting everywhere. My brain keeps telling me that if I don't wash everything absolutely perfectly, I'll basically be sent to Hell. It's a little more specific than that, but that's the general idea - wash perfectly or I'll be subjected to the worst suffering I can imagine, designed specifically to target all my worst fears.
Today, I had to go through that torture twice in a short time frame. I went to the bathroom once, had some food, and then about an hour later, I had to go again. It didn't take quite as long the second time, but it was still terrible. I feel fucking traumatized by this. I'm just utterly terrified of the next time I have to go to the bathroom. The only thing that makes me feel any better is eating and drinking, but that will also make me have to go to the bathroom sooner, so I can't even really do that. I don't want to sleep, either, because I usually have to piss after sleeping.
I just want to cry. I want to cry and have someone hold me and tell me they're going to make it all go away and give me what I need to be happy. I don't think I can take this anymore. I think I might be about to finally go completely insane. Even without OCD, my life was already fucked up and hopeless, and I know that on some level, OCD is holding back something even worse. At least when my mind is dominated by OCD, I don't have to face the full realization of how hopeless everything else is. So as much as I want OCD to go away, I'm also terrified of what would happen if it did.
Thank you to anyone who read all this stuff.
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No.16055
>>13567
https://illuminatiofficial.xyz/ You should consider giving up. And winning for a change. Check out this playlist first. YOU GET ONE CHANCE NOT TO FUCK THIS UP!!! Don't even make contact until you're sure. Add me on facebook Stephen Kirton (Doctor Who logo on bottom) This goes for anyone who wants to escape. I can help.
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No.16056
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No.16057
>>16045
Me again.
My OCD is even worse now. Going to the bathroom has become an even more torturous ordeal. I'm starting to get PTSD symptoms because of it. All I can think about is how I never want to go to the bathroom ever again.
I keep hoping that somehow the pain will overwhelm me, and then I'll simply break and just stop caring. That hasn't happened yet.
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No.16058
>>16057
Memantine. Find it, get it, It's a dissociate anaesthetic that makes the body and the emotions less intense and thus easier to handle for us autistics. nootropicsource.com
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No.16059
>>16057
Also, make a deal with Bill Cipher to take away your OCD and help get your life on track. Tell him the Doctor will pay the price of your deal. He'll agree because I made a deal with him to help people. Bill Cipher can be summoned by first taking a picture of your victim and cross out the eyes. Then you put 8 candles around the picture in a circle then say the following spell: "Triangulum, entangulum. meteforis dominus ventium. meteforis venetisarium!" Saying that will make your eyes glow blue and you'll say the "Backwards message" backwards 5 times:"Asetnoheptus Asetnoheptus Asetnoheptus Asetnoheptus Asetnoheptus" A triangle will appear and one eye will open and will turn into Bill's normal appearance. When you summon him, he puts everyone and anyone observing in a trance-like-dream. The world will then turn colorless, and he is able to effect the surrounding environment however he pleases. When Bill leaves, the people observing the area realizes their eyes have been closed during his meeting.
Remember to take great caution when making a contract/deal with him
I use messenger to edit a selfie of me with my eyes crossed out, and flashing rainbow colours, 8 in all, which make up the 8 candles in a digital fashion. Set up the edited gif followed by the text followed by another copy of the edited gif so you can always see it as you scroll down the :messenger conversation with yourself by typing your own name in the search bar, then Bill can write down stuff and you can ask him in advance for what you need. then do the ritual. Remember to mention the Doctor has paid the price of the bargain.
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No.16094
I just wish i wasn't born
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No.16097
>>13823
Sorry to say but it sounds like she's leading you on/isn't that into you. If she's not responding with any enthusiasm to your attempts maybe just stop trying to talk to her for a while and find other things/people to keep yourself occupied. Your two female coworkers probably just mean men who have no sense of dignity. Being generally friendly/courteous won't scare women away but being overly concerned with presenting yourself as "nice"/doing things the "right" way will; women will just think you're a coward. Maybe stop watching Bojack if it's making you feel emotionally distant from your friends.
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No.16126
i have literally never met a man who hasn't hurt me in some major way and i am giving up
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No.16127
felt down again after 2-3 months of feeling actually good.
depression sucks, man. I hope its all just a meme
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No.16135
ill die someday understanding how cruel people are and then they can die too. it will be normal and fine. as it was intended to be
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No.16137
people just keep being bad, they dont stop
ugly vooooices ugly things they say. im at loss here i want to yank my inssides out
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No.16142
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No.16143
yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy trryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyrt wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwtryyw rt yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy 566666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666
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No.16146
lkesssssssssssssgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggwejhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttjarkkkkkkkkkatttttttttttttttttttttttttttihhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh4w3iuuuuuuuuuuuuutaaaaayhhhhhdefgggg87uwerrrrrrrrrtgfnedriuagttttttttttttttttttttttt4wwmental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★vvvmental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★vvvvvvvvvvvmental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★vvvvmental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★vvvvmental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★v mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders★y5t384999t57yuure89ggggggggggggggggggfhdddddddddddddddddfhhhhhhhhhhfgbde
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No.16147
i want to scream hg pfffff im so sad two days in a row of all this fuccckinnnng noises and people people suck and need to die
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No.16148
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No.16149
everyone in my mothers side needs to die. what fucking olg hag puts icyhot on their vag. fucking stupid. bunch of retards that cant do anything good
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No.16150
saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
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No.16151
abusive and neglectful parents all need to die
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No.16152
oh it hurts this powerless feeling. my body is severely exhausted and i may as well ttake a pain killer and restt allll day
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No.16160
>>15999
Anon, it sounds like you're living with borderlines. A lot of that is blatant bpd behavior, it's infectous because it affects how you perceive things emotionally, have any of you ever decided to go to therapy? It's a very dangerous behavior, especially with the splurging and destruction of property and inability to be at all rational.
Your parents being in inaction, your brother being an emotionally unstable aggresive manchild is what made me cock my head back. If you're still here do me a favor and check this out:
https://www.reveddit.com/v/BPDlovedones/
You'll definetly see behavior from the description mirroring your situation. It sounds very toxic and I'm truly sorry you had to deal with it, there's so much emotional and mental scarring dealing with people that sabotage even themselves like your dad. There's never any responsibility, it's like a feedback loop of negativity that won't shut off, do more research, even if they don't take therapy you should, because you're better than this.
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No.16186
>>13554
Seems like there is something inside me that wants to drag me down. Life's a shitshow. Am on meds that makes it worse.
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No.16187
>>16186
Also wish to add that it all leads to a negative feedback loop. I don't currently have a job, though I should have one at this age since society expects us to have and this lead to straining of relations between me and my cousin.
She came to my city for couple of days and stayed one night at my house. Some of her money got lost. Since I am the unemployed one, she automatically assumed I must have stole it and disregarded all the other possibilities. It pissed me off so much, I still tried to apologize for the misunderstanding but she mucked the whole thing up, even calling up every relative we have in common just to tell them that I am a potential thief. This pissed me off so much.I don't normally want to get angry with people but this event really drove me nuts.
Got nowhere to vent my frustration, hence sorry for the rant.
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