[–]▶ No.32927>>32932 >>32984 >>33150 >>33161 >>33437 >>33885 [Watch Thread][Show All Posts]
What's /kind/s opinion on love?
How do you know if you're in love?
Do you ever regret being in love?
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▶ No.32930
It's the most hideous, most beautiful thing you can ever experience.
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▶ No.32932
>>32927 (OP)
I was in love once, but it took me a year to realize it, and it took me another year before I really tried to act on it. By then, the person I was in love with had already drifted away. It hurt, but at least it showed me that I'm capable of love. It was a sickly sweet feeling.
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▶ No.32934
i forget what love's like. all i remember is the pain
once described it something like
heartbreak is when your home is burning down all around you, and you don't want to leave.
guess it might not have burned and choked so much if i hadn't put so much into that house.
now i'm a hideous burn victim scared of finding myself a new house
t.r9k
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▶ No.32936>>35310
I'm way too preoccupied with pretending I'm normal everyday guy, to even for one second consider emotional connection to anyone. Almost every sentence I say in social interaction is manafactured to hide some facts about my life (like, not having any interests, friends, experiences, passions, or skills at 23).
When you're at this point, "falling in love" becomes something extremely abstract and in some other realm far, far away. It's not something you ever think or get sad about.
Maybe it would be fun to experience real love before death, or any kind of relationship whatsoever. I not, oh well, too bad. Even from your posts here I get the impression it can be an extremely painful thing. I'm an optimist: whatever is wrong with neural pathways in my brain, I'll consider it a blessing.
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▶ No.32943>>33001
Love is not romance.
I think, the above distinction should be made clear to more people, because it is always mixed up with romance. I've heard one definition of love say it is "giving with no expectation of return", and this matches my idea of what love is. Love is an unselfish feeling, where affection and regard are given without a price. Love is a perfect kindness, that makes even the simplest, least rich life like heaven to those who know it.
Conversely, if you have every luxury life has to offer but no love, you'll be miserable even if all your needs are met.
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▶ No.32950>>32980
When I was in love and a woman loved me, I felt like I was on top of the world and so things seemed perfect like they would last forever. Never make the mistake of feeling like that. Trust issues developed between both of us and we just drifted apart until it ended. We both moved on to different people but she got jealous because apparently I moved on to another stable relationship quickly while the one she pursued didn't pan out well. I wasn't really happy with the other one because it just felt like a hole I was trying to fill and we broke up as well however it didn't help this woman was also kind of messed up in the head. Never spoke or heard from the first one after that.
I guess for some, love is like an addictive drug and you yearn for it even if you don't feel fulfilled. You can tell when you're in love because you desire to be with that person and just talk to them, hold them, and never let them go. You're heat aches for them so to speak.
I don't regret being in love because I think its an experience everyone should have once in their life. I can see how some do because of the hurt it can cause but at the same time the feelings it brings when it works out are irreplaceable.
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▶ No.32980>>33041
>>32950
There's a dirty workaround to feeling love without the all the baggage that come with a relationship. I discovered it by accident. And no, I'm not talking about drugs.
Because I don't spend any time being intimate with people, my brain must have wired itself get love-like high from certain type of music. It feels a lot like cheating in life, because I can enjoy sensations of love without the responsibilities, hardships and downsides of relationship with a real person. I imagine a lot of composers in history accidentally went this route and this is why they were so passionate about music. I recently learned it has to do with romantic chord progression and it could be that some people are wired to get high from it, some not.
Unfortunately a lot of modern stuff doesn't have this mysterious, emotional feeling. The /supposedly/ modern emotional songs sound over the top for me, it's like they're trying too hard, and it's not love at all. Classical composers from the romantic period or some Japanese vocalists from 70s/80s would really "get it". Today most attempts at invoking emotions of love in music feel obnoxious or cheesy. I imagine the vocalists and producers get high on dopaminenergic drugs, or even coffee, and the feelings of "love" they express are artificial because they reflect the artificial high. I too only start to enjoy these songs when drunk
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▶ No.32984
>>32927 (OP)
>What's /kind/s opinion on love?
baby dont hurt me
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▶ No.33001>>33025
Pretty much what >>32943 said. Romantic love is in my opinion way overrated, call me tin-foil but I think we know who is behind medias obsession with love.
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▶ No.33005
It's one of those things that gives a man a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
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▶ No.33019
This topic is /unkind/. OP should be banned.
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▶ No.33025>>33031
>>33001
>I think we know who is behind medias obsession with love
Do we? I thought people have been falling in love since forever.
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▶ No.33031>>33035
>>33025
Did they? I remember reading somewhere that ancient societies used to practice group marriage, and that later arranged marriage was the norm.
The history of love actually sounds like a pretty fascinating topic, I'd love to read about it.
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▶ No.33035>>33042
>>33031
>group marriage
>arranged marriage
Neither of these exclude love.
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▶ No.33041
>>32980
I can get a similar feeling however I do mix drugs in sometimes. I don't get the cheating feeling however, I just ride the music like I'm riding life with a relationship.
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▶ No.33042>>33045
>>33035
A lot of stories you hear that involve arranged marriage usually has the person/people of focus not loving their pre-determined partner.
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▶ No.33045>>33128
>>33042
That's true. People can still fall in love in an arranged marriage, but I would guess that it's not as common. But then there's also the possibility of falling in love with someone outside that marriage.
I think what the practice of arranged marriages tells us is that love wasn't always considered important in a marriage, and it still isn't in a lot of places. That doesn't mean that romantic love doesn't occur in places where marriages are arranged, just that it isn't incentivized by the marital structure.
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▶ No.33128
>>33045
Maybe there's some conditioning in the mind where being told who to marry makes them not want to love the person.
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▶ No.33132>>33133 >>33151
I'll give a serious reply here whereby I outline my opinion on love. What most guys feel for their crush is tainted unpure love. It might not even be love at all.
What a brother feels for another brother or what a guy feels for another guy that is love. It's pure, simple, selfless and often without expectations.
Romantic love - What a guy feels for a woman (or vice versa) is any combination of love, lust, attachment and selfish expectations.
Familial/parental love is a combination of love, societal mandated obligations and expectations which may be selfless or selfish.
So to summarize and reiterate:
Romantic love is shit. It's a diseased concept. Appeasing the ever shifting transient temperamental feelings and ego of a woman is not worth one's freedom or principles.
Parental love is as good or as terrible as the parents in question.
Love between brothers or guys are the real deal
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▶ No.33133>>33139
>>33132
>Romantic love is shit
Sounds like your opinion is colored by a recent bad experience.
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▶ No.33139>>33144
>>33133
Romantic love is muddy drain water.
Love between true friends is pure distilled water.
Objectively one is better.
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▶ No.33144>>33160
>>33139
What about romantic love between true friends?
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▶ No.33147
I feel that love is so vague a term, in a way, it’s sort of just what each person makes of it for themselves. Kind of like what defines “art” and other such overtly unclear words. It’ll vary from person to person, and yes, is going to be heavily shaped as according to each individual experience with such matters, meaning it can either be sour or sweet in definition.
When I define love, in lamens terms, it’s simply how I recognize things that make me happy and influence me positively. Whether they be people, music, anime, art, ect. If it makes me happy. I love it. Easy peasy.
I don’t equate love to being a wholly positive thing, however. I do believe there to be a such thing as “misplaced love.” As an example, I shall use my own mother. She is very generous and giving, and there is no doubt in my mind that she loves me. But on the same coin, she is very defeatist, negative, bitter, and overall just an unhappy woman, as sad as it is to say. I’ve spent most of my life trying to help her become happy, but all I fear it has done is lended to her using me as an emotional crutch. To a point where her own happiness is sole dependent on others. Because of this, my love for her has greatly dwindled, as for in spite of the positives, they are unable to overcome her negatives, and regardless of what I and others have done to help her improve, she has stubbornly remained in the same hole for a good 30 years of her life. More apt to blaming things outside herself (work, her father, Obama, Her ex-boyfriend, ect.) for her misery as opposed to ever looking inside.
So, because of this, I cannot safely say that I do in fact love her. She has latched onto me as a mental band aid, and if I do not agree to every whim she has planned for me, it severely throws her mood. All because I didn’t want to go shopping with her on account of being occupied with personal matters at the time. As such, she brings me more negativity than positivity.
And this I believe is the same sort of root that other, more unsoundly ideas of love stem from, such as puppy love, lust, and other such misrepresentations of the concept. It is an expectation. Not a feeling. The belief that, this particular thing, is going to fix everything and fill the void you’ve long since sought out to take care off. Rather than something that is used to simply help support you as you partake through your daily endeavors.
I love my friends, but I cannot rely on only them as they are not always available to be there for me. I love to watch anime, but because its reach into my actual daily life is limited, relying on it and it only would prove to be disastrous. Ect.
Now, to delve into more deviant territory, the premonition of “romantic love” is one that I’ll admit to being lost on me. I’ve never met one single person to be “the one,” if you will. In a way, I love all of my friends on that sort of level. I wouldn’t be able to just choose one as they are all very vital and important to me.
I’ve actually gone on to develop sexual feelings for nearly all of my close friends, regardless of gender, appearance and other such things. I am someone that enjoys intimacy, the thrill of sex is being able to share something special with someone special. And to me, all of my friends are special. I don’t equate this to being “desperate” as outside my social circled, the prominence of sexual desire within me is near nonexistent. And without that connection, the pursuit isn’t worth the ultimate outcome. That I can do on my own. Now I do equate such a concept to being purely a twist of my own deviant mind's idea of affection and caring. But I simply feel this bit of context is needed to help other better understand how I view and perceive love. So, there you go.
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▶ No.33150
>>32927 (OP)
There's nothing particularly special, for better or worse, about love. True love doesn't really exist unless if you give it meaning.
Romantic love is fine and all, but kind of pointless if you don't have love for yourself or love for your friends.
Also love is cocaine.
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▶ No.33151>>33152
>>33132
>Love between brothers or guys are the real deal
n-no homo tho
But seriously this, it's the purest form of love.
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▶ No.33152>>33160
>>33151
I really don't think it's gendered as I've had that kind of relationship with women.
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▶ No.33160>>33162
>>33144
But then there is a chance that other things get mixed in and it won't be pure. A romantic relationship will have attachment, lust, desires and expectations. But muddy swamp water is sufficient for a lotus to thrive :/
I'm just a bit cynical wrt rom love. So my view is coloured.
>>33152
Yea it is possible but it's rarer. The guy will often fall for the girl and then it becomes messy rom love or unrequited one sided crush which could risk the friendship.
it happened to me. We used the L word towards each other in person or via watsap. Eventually I wanted to date her and we did date but weren't bf/gf. I got a summer internship out of province. When i came back she didn't want to anymore. Cut her out of my life for a month or two. It hurt. But the hurt was a product of my own desires and expectations. Still friends with her and we are both close. She is one of the few girls i can talk to and "bee myself".
It really sucks that when we think of love that we think of romantic love. I broke up with my gf (colleague of above mentioned grill) a few days ago and even tho we both said "i love you" to each other it felt kind of empty. If i said that to my brother or a true friend it would have felt more real. I honestly liked my gf but i just didn't want to be wizard. being a romantic, normie political correct obedient lap dog was tiring, annoying and demeaning. So I'm glad it's over. After 9 months i got some action but I'm still on route to be a wizard. she is/was a virgin too
I'm really sleepy but i think romantic love is really artificial whereas true friendship is something deeper. It might be because really close long time friends share similar values. Maybe true love is something weird. Maybe it's a harmonization of two or more human brain emfs.
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▶ No.33161
>>32927 (OP)
when i was in elementary i had a really cute friend who happened to be a girl who i could have fallen in love with but then i had to move.
then in middle school i fell in lust and mistook it for love. (she also happened to have a bf and be not interested in me at all)
ever since i've been feeling depressingly desperate for any kind of interaction with the opposite sex of my same age. that i really didn't care what the personality of the person was. (sometimes this got so bad that it was even linked to suicidal thoughts)
a year ago i wanted to be friends with another cute shy girl who also happened to be a weeb but that never got anywhere since we were both too shy to begin a proper conversation
currently how i see love is like this reward that could happen once i finish researching proper interaction with the opposite sex, but paradoxically it's also the thing that hinders me from having proper interaction since with every girl i meet i think. could i fall in love with her/have a romantic relation with her?
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▶ No.33162
>>33160
Just to expand on what i wrote maybe love is a particular brain/mental state that may not be dependent on other people. Like people who work ceaselessly because they love the work or art that they do.
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▶ No.33372>>33373
How do you get over someone?
I don't like socializing too much, and I find casual sex a little disgusting, so getting another girl for that is out of the question.
But it has been an year and I can't see her without feeling like shit for a week or so.
What should I do?
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▶ No.33373>>33447
>>33372
Don't dwelling on it, and occupy your time with hobbies/interests. With time it should pass, and you might find someone else.
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▶ No.33437
>>32927 (OP)
>How do you know if you're in love?
I've tried to kill myself twice with alcohol and pills; each time I fucked up and when I thought I was dying it wasn't my family or past that I was thinking about during the panic, it was ゆの.
>Do you ever regret being in love?
No. It hurts more than anything else in the world at times but I don't regret. I regret being born more than anything else.
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▶ No.33447>>33448
>>33373
>Finding someone else
Top kek, but thanks for being kind to me.
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▶ No.33448
>>33447
I wasn't trying to be nice. People fall in love with inanimate objects. Hell even the mentally ill, road kill eating, homeless man that scavenges for food near my house found a homeless gf for himself. There's always a chance for love if your heart is open, anon.
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▶ No.33878>>33879
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
here's a video about romance that I enjoyed. if you can get over the talk about dildos and plastic vaginas, it's actually a really nice way of thinking about things.
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▶ No.33879
>>33878
>dildos and plastic vaginas
I'm sold.
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▶ No.33880>>33881 >>33882
What is love, anyway?
I mean, we all love a hundred things. I love this kind of food, and that kind of car, we love theater or music or painting.
Why is it that the same word we use to describe those sorts of trivial things, is used to describe the most important person in the world to us?
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▶ No.33881
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
>>33880
>
Though I do agree with you; the number of things people claim to "love" cheapens the word. However there are a number of things that you could properly love: some people are extremely passionate about music, or about their pets, or various arts, some people are even extremely passionate about food. But using love as a qualifier there requires that context, otherwise it becomes a placeholding word for those with poor vocabularies.
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▶ No.33882>>33883
>>33880
if you don't like using love that way you can always use doublepluslove for things you really love
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▶ No.33883
>>33882
I do.mostly unironically.
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▶ No.33885
>>32927 (OP)
If you aren't willing to sacrifice everything, and take on their suffering as your own then I wouldn't say that's any kind of actual love.
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▶ No.33990
>What's /kind/s opinion on love?
I don't know. ;_;
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▶ No.35310
>>32936
yeah, i'm with this guy
considering how my life turned out, the idea of being in love and share my life with another person looks like something so alien to me that i'm not even emotionally attached to it
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