>>7548
>In my life I met many shy people that had trouble socializing but no one was ever even close to being on my level.
Well, people like that are less likely to socialize than you.
>I may not be the person with the most social anxiety on the planet but it wouldn't surprise me if I was in the top 100.
Unlikely. You have posted here. There are people out there that wouldn't even be able to do that. We are just unlikely to see them, for obvious reasons. There is generally always someone worse, but that doesn't help anyone. Doesn't help you much. Then again, knowing that someone out there is in a worse situation could be comforting. I don't feel that at all, but at least knowing that I'm not the only one is a good thing.
>I wouldn't have to deal with my family's stares and their opinions about me.
Personally, I just hate my family. Before I realized that and fully accepted it as part of who I am, rather than something to deny, I couldn't interact with them either. That only became possible as a result of realizing everything that I dislike about them and how shitty my entire life actually was (telling other people on the internet about it confirmed that my life was definitely fucked up from a more normal perspective). You don't have to like them, and you don't have to care about what people that you don't like have to say. If they are wrong, or just don't understand what is wrong, then that's their fault for the most part. It may sound really stupid for a hikikomori to say this, but confidence is what saved me and what keeps me alive these days (or years). I have a solid identity because I have a vague understanding of who I am (and an even vaguer understanding of why I ended up this way) and what I want, and that comes from just doing things and thinking a lot, and doing things that make me think, and experimenting with ideas so that you find more answers.
I accepted myself because I just know that I'm cool because the things that I like and do are cool. This post wouldn't exist at all if I didn't change that. Even online, conversations wouldn't happen if I didn't build that over time. Maybe most people don't like me in most places, that could be the case, I can't tell, but I know well enough that apathy isn't a common response to my existence, and that's good enough for me, because my main goal is to just be interesting, and being hated by normalfags doesn't bother me. Might even please me sometimes. Being boring is worse than being an objectively bad person, in my mind. And speaking of boredom, you should always be doing something. When I stop doing things, that's when I want to kill myself the most. The worst part of something bad happening isn't the thing that just happened, but the fact that it makes me stop doing things. If I stop, I start thinking about how shit my life is and it's difficult to come out of that.
I just try to distract myself from problems and pretend that they don't exist, most of the time. If you have interests and ideas and have enough knowledge and/or skills, that can give you more confidence. It can change you internally. But it won't make you social. Forget about that. Don't expect to never be depressed again either. That is something to run away from, but it won't just disappear. And that confidence works on the internet, and maybe it could in real life, if it actually made you want to interact with just anyone. But I just don't like most people and in real life, I have no control over who I interact with, so I have no reason to leave this room. You will never get along with most people either, probably. If you are not normal, it's likely that you are just fundamentally incompatible with them. This is not even a bad thing. They are just boring, and pretty damn shitty, so fuck them, I don't care. I see no reason to want to talk to them. No significant connections would ever be formed, so it's pointless. Speaking of desperately trying to have enough confidence to survive and not completely hate myself, this post may be a mess, but I will post it anyway because it can still be useful.