/hikki/ -I'm in limbo

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I'm in limbo 引きこもり 04/18/19 (Thu) 08:44:26 a74671 No.7351

So after failing highschool at 19 i became a hikki. Now 23, i have wasted all those years on games and youtube. There's nowhere to go, and nothing to do or look forward to… I just wake up, eat, get on the internet, sleep. Same cycle every day. I eat only once a day to save my mother money, hoping that she would somehow see me less of a leech that way. I have been diagnosed and prescribed meds for OCD at 15, which i took initially but ultimately abandoned treatment. Also i am fairly certain i have social anxiety too. Despite learning about OCD, i just can't seem to tell with certainty that i have it. Gone to psychiatrists twice, they were of no help. Each just sat there eyeballing me, expecting me to tell them everything without screening. Social anxiety kicks in, i forget what i wanted to say, and by the end of it i doubt his opinion and competence. So, i have been wondering for a year now Do i have OCD or do i not? What should i do? Each day not having reached an answer i carry over the problem to the next day.

I don't… Anyone going through similar situation or is it just me??

____________________________

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引きこもり 04/23/19 (Tue) 01:22:00 90686c No.7372

File: 397fbd0f48809ae⋯.jpg (19.18 KB,480x472,60:59,1474948421803.jpg)

>>7351

I failed out of uni within the first semester because I got very tired of going through another 4 years of high school and a part of me knew that unsocial, uncharismatic, anxious people like me will go nowhere in life with simple As. In the end you end up being someone's wageslave and eventually went into withdrawal for 7 years. Never seen a therapist since I don't think it is in their best interest to help anyone. My mental state was terrible and spent the first half of my time half sitting down and the second half bedridden.

27 now and I have gone through the same wasted time on video games like you and I've had bad social anxiety. Now I do not get as anxious as I used to and can keep somewhat calm while outside. Even get groceries and do my own laundry alone now.

One thing I realized in my own experience is that I think I dislike making myself uncomfortable and unwilling to change or grow. I think the younger me just wanted to be the same anxious guy that is afraid of change for the rest of his life. If you have not tried quitting videogames, porn, and other distractions that add nothing but waste your time and provide a comfort through escapism. If you want your current situation to change you'll need to do a lot of self reflecting and mediation. You need to access yourself and fix shit that is making you feel a certain way you do not like; it fucking sucks but you can find the answers you seek if you listen to yourself. You're still young enough to save yourself from what will be a miserable life. I know I changed a lot over these last 9 years but I made the most progress during the periods when I was not wasting my time with the distractions this world assaults you with.

One important piece of advice. You need to fully understand how something works and how it affects you.

I did not fully understand how negatively videogames and later pornography were affecting me all these years. I knew they were hindering my quality of life and that expressed itself when I missed a certain quest, the daily reset or fap session was interrupted due to some distraction; whether it was a loved one or another distraction.

Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.