/hikki/ - Hikikomori

>>4889

I used to have to, but no it doesn't help at all

most therapists are really unable to understand your situation, their job is treating normalfag tier depression rather than serious cases

I see a psych on Wednesday who's going to determine if i need pills and then apparently i start talking to somebody else after that. I'm not looking forward to any of this. Yes i'm depress, yes i'm anxious. But my real problem is that i'm a schizoid who just doesn't give a shit about being a normalfag. The first time I talked to somebody i very quickly realized she couldn't even comprehend that I simply wasn't a normalfag. All she did was dig into my family life and make me think about shit i didn't want to think about and never did before. Like I hate my mother but I didn't really ever validate those feelings before. But she helped me with that and sent me into a horribly painful pit of anxious sleepless depression to which she took no responsibility in.

I'm really concerned that this will be totally fruitless or even painful like last time. I'm thinking of throwing everything on the table right out of the gate. Like tell them about my auditory hallucinations and make it clear that i have spent a lot of time in isolation and prefer it that way. That I don't even exist on the same plane of existence that the average person does. Regardless i'm going to write some shit down and make sure it gets said.

>>4900

>now though I feel like my body got used to them and I'm back again to the same shut in misanthrope idiot I am

that's scary

>>4900

>we had a very shallow conversation during which he said that I've to change my ways and face my fears of the outside world because my parents are in pain seeing me drained of life everyday

Sounds a lot like my psychiatrist tbh.

>>4897

Because that's as much as therapists can do and that's what most people that are "depressed" need, just someone to talk to

All they require is that little bump of the drug called feeling like someone cares about you, if you have bigger issues that can't be solved medically you're out of luck

>>4895

I hate this i hate how normals think they are right about absolutely everything and think they know what's best for people like us when really in reality they don't i once watched a documentary on hikikomori on Youtube and the comments on the video were disgusting a bunch of normalfags saying shit like stop feeding these spoiled shitheads they will come out eventually or kick the door down and force them into the real world what a bunch of fucking assholes.

>>4907

> if you have bigger issues that can't be solved medically you're out of luck

And that's what frustrates me is that there basically is no support for shut ins in the west.

>>4909

I've seen articles about males withdrawing from society and how males are doing worse, but of course, it's usually written by women sneering and gloating about how they are """winning""" or clueless boomers who think life is great because they're doing well so why isn't everyone else?!

We'll probably have to wait for a while before it reaches a point where the state of society can barely be maintained by all the missing men before anyone in the west will want to actually do something to help hikikomori and stop taunting. It's not gonna get any better for a long time.

So what are you guys trying to get out of therapy? I'm being forced but i still wonder what the point is for me even engaging. Like I know for a fact that I can't be a normalfag and don't have any interest in trying. I dont know what they could for me

>>4895

>>4897

There's also the ever popular

>you just need to force yourself to do X

>fake it till you make it anon!

>get violently woken up by a dog barking in my room

>dont own a dog

it's getting worse

will they commit me if i tell them about this shit? im a burger

>>4912

>So what are you guys trying to get out of therapy?

I'd like to be able to maintain a normal conversation and be able to be around people i don't know without having a panic attack

>>4917

Hikkis helping out hikkis sounds like a great idea, I know similar ideas of hikki communes have been floated around. It requires money and motivation, though, and setting up a means to reach each other quickly and privately. Maybe possible with the fortunate hikkis with inheritance/trust fund/ssi/disabilitybux pooling that together.

>>4920

These are all ideas that I've been thinking of for a while now. I think if I were to ever win the lottery, I would use the money to set up a place for hikkis like us. Something like a large house or apartment building that could become home to hikikomoris. We could live together with other people who understand us, and we would have our own comfy community. Unfortunately, winning the lottery is a very rare occurrence, so I'm also trying to think of something more practical. Maybe an online business where we could all pool our talents and make money to support ourselves.

>>4921

>He's a fucking douchebag tbh he doesn't fix problems if anything he makes them worse.

Absolutely. People like Dr. Phil are exactly why I hate daytime television. Of course these days I don't much care for tv at all, I just mostly stick to watching older shows or animes that I find online.

>over in europe in countries such as Italy they are researching us and trying to understand us google hikikomori Italia.

I'll look into that.

>Very true and that's one reason this place exist.

I'm very glad that it does. This board has given me a lot of hope and comfort over the past few months and it's definitely my favorite board and my favorite place on the internet.

>>4914

>>fake it till you make it anon!

I've been told this before and the fact of the matter is that some people just aren't able to play society's little game of being fake out in public.

>>4922

>>4918

no, they'll probably give you anti-psychotics

to get committed you have to be seen as an immediate threat to yourself or others, basically have a suicide plan you're ready to carry out

>>4926

I know what you mean. I would much rather be myself, with all my flaws, than pretend to be someone else to please a society that doesn't care about me.

>>4927

>I hate him because he's an absolute cunt

He truly is.

>he's also responsible for creating the catch me outside chick who is one of the worst forced memes ever.

I never knew this, how disgusting. I haven't really seen the meme around much, but the few times I did see it I could tell instantly that it was facebook-tier cancer.

>for the most part i only watch tv if i'm putting on a movie or watching anime while browsing the internet on my tv with my amazon fire stick.

My mom recently gave me one of those chromecast devices and I use it for the same stuff.

>one difference i've noticed is that japanese homes don't have basements so most japanese hikikomori live upstairs in a room next to their parents room

I never noticed that before, but you're right, I have never seen a Japanese home with a basement. I'm sure a few may exist, but it's probably rare.

>however they shouldn't confuse us with the internet addicted basement dweller because we are not the same thing.

That's true, but the normalfags will do it anyway because it's convenient for them to make those kinds of assumptions.

Well i got generic zoloft and generic xanax. I start the zolft tomorrow but already took half a xanax. Feels weird. I wanted to kill the squirrely faggot psych. I can't talk to these people. I'll give the meds a go but i don't know if i can handle talking every week.

>>4935

>i don't mean to sound like a sjw or anything but i just wish society was more accepting of people for who they truly are.

Nah, it's fine. After all, our form of acceptance usually deals with accepting others for choosing their own path in life. With SJWs, their "acceptance" is just a thinly-veiled excuse to chip away at the foundations of our civilization without consequence.

>she went on the Dr. phil show with her mom because she was acting like a brat at home no surprise there i know but instead of trying to change her ways her mom embraced her daughters bad behavior and she became a forced meme.

That's just sad, parents these days don't care about anything.

>This kind of new technology is really great tbh.

Definitely. My only concern about the chromecast thing is whether or not it sends information to (((Google))) about the shows I watch, but maybe it's just my paranoia. That's why I would never want that 'Alexa' thing, I'm 99% sure it's some kind of audio bug.

>The only places in Japan i can think of that do have basements are tall business buildings.

That makes sense. I think the houses in Japan have storage rooms instead of basements, if I'm not mistaken.

>it just be a classic case of them not wanting to get to the root of the problem and blame something completely different.

Indeed, that's normalfags. For all their talk of being open-minded and progressive, in truth they've only ever managed to devolved into a state of primal tribalism. They're like animals but even worse in some cases.

>>4936

> I start the zolft tomorrow but already took half a xanax. Feels weird. I wanted to kill the squirrely faggot psych. I can't talk to these people. I'll give the meds a go but i don't know if i can handle talking every week.

Have you taken the zolft yet?? how did it make you feel??.

>>4939

i'll take the first dose tomorrow but he said it will take a few days to really feel it and a few weeks before it really kicks in and "works" or doesn't

should also mention these things were really cheap, $16 for both bottles, i was really afraid it was going to cost hundreds of dollars

>>4938

>I know right tell me about it i seriously get the impression that a lot of these new parents don't actually know how to raise a child or simply just don't care

To be fair I don't think anyone knows how to be a parent at first, it's learned along the way. You're right about the not caring part, of course. Seems like most parents these days choose their own method of parenting and then never change, even when they're proven wrong. Alternatively, they take the advice of some (((child therapist))) at face value and again refuse to change. This refusal to adapt is likely a big factor in why so many of us, as well as the children of today, have bad childhoods were we weren't/aren't developing in a healthy way.

>i'm not the only hikikomori in my family my 14 year old stepbrother has entered the early stages of hikikomori skipping school spending most of his time in his room playing video games and browsing the web he's refusing to bathe himself clean his room and doesn't come down and eat with the family he takes the food to his room

I'm sorry to hear that. I have a couple nephews who are still very young and I'm always afraid that one day one of them might end up like me. Fortunately, they seem to be doing well so far, so with any luck they can lead happier lives than I currently do.

>i tried to tell my dad about extreme social withdrawal and explain to him what hikikomori was and i even suggested to him to read Tamaki Saito's book but he refused

That sucks. Much like I said, most parents now are unwilling to adapt or change and that's why they fail so often.

>I read something somewhere about how smart tvs can track you and your information or something don't know if that's completely true or not though.

I think it mostly depends, but from what I've read a lot of these devices can be used to track activity or mine data. With all this unjust surveillance by large corporations and intelligence agencies, it's no wonder why so many people are speaking out against the state.

>>4942

>To be fair I don't think anyone knows how to be a parent at first, it's learned along the way

True

>Im sorry to hear that. I have a couple nephews who are still very young and I'm always afraid that one day one of them might end up like me. Fortunately, they seem to be doing well so far, so with any luck they can lead happier lives than I currently do.

That's good to hear.

>That sucks. Much like I said, most parents now are unwilling to adapt or change and that's why they fail so often.

You are absolutely right anon.

>I think it mostly depends, but from what I've read a lot of these devices can be used to track activity or mine data. With all this unjust surveillance by large corporations and intelligence agencies, it's no wonder why so many people are speaking out against the state.

Damn that sounds really scary tbh.

>>4939

>>4955

So this is the second day of taking the zoloft. I feel lucid weirdly. Like I don't feel terribly constrained by the pain right now. It's been so long since i've felt normal that i genuinely can't tell if that's how i'm feeling. But I did clean my room up and start working on a model. I'd say i'm more engaged with the things i'm doing to. Also ate dinner with my aunt and uncle last night and even talked a bit. I will say i'm a little disconcerted because this is taking away my internal excuse of not wanting to interact. I still don't. I'm just in a much better mood now. As for the xanax. That is so good i can't even tell you. I didn't take any this morning just to contrast the past two days and fuck, that stuff just cuts through my anxiety like butter. It does make me a bit tired but not like how i am usually tired all the time. Like i don't feel emotionally drained and anxious. These are certainly not magic but I feel better. It's making life bearable at least.

All in all, going to see that cuck psych was worth it. I'm not going to talk therapy though. I already said i'm not doing it. That stuff is nothing but pain to me and i don't believe it will help. I'm not going to train somebody in all my issues so they can tell me the same shit i've heard all my life.

>she wants me to start taking these gummy candies that have vitamin D

you should get a multi vitimin like the 1 A Day Mens too

>>4958

> I feel lucid weirdly. Like I don't feel terribly constrained by the pain right now. It's been so long since i've felt normal that i genuinely can't tell if that's how i'm feeling. But I did clean my room up and start working on a model. I'd say i'm more engaged with the things i'm doing to. Also ate dinner with my aunt and uncle last night and even talked a bit. I will say i'm a little disconcerted because this is taking away my internal excuse of not wanting to interact. I still don't. I'm just in a much better mood now. As for the xanax. That is so good i can't even tell you. I didn't take any this morning just to contrast the past two days and fuck, that stuff just cuts through my anxiety like butter. It does make me a bit tired but not like how i am usually tired all the time. Like i don't feel emotionally drained and anxious. These are certainly not magic but I feel better. It's making life bearable at least.

>All in all, going to see that cuck psych was worth it. I

Glad to hear that they are working out to an extent.

>You should get a multi vitimin like the 1 A Day Mens too

Funny that you say that because my mom said the same thing maybe i will get one of those when i run out of the vitamin D gummies in 2 months.

>>4958

Little update. Didn't mention it before because i wasn't sure if it was particularly related but i have been horny almost 24/7 since i have started taking this stuff. I am beating my dick raw because of it. This sounds really pathetic but I think it might have something to do with me only associating feeling good with masturbating because that's like the only time i felt good in the past.

>>4967

>i have been horny almost 24/7 since i have started taking this stuff. I am beating my dick raw because of it. This sounds really pathetic but I think it might have something to do with me only associating feeling good with masturbating because that's like the only time i felt good in the past.

Is that like a side effect of the medication or something??.

>>4968

Doctor said it would effect my libido but he said it would kill it. Though I have found other people saying similar things about it making them super horny.

>>4969

>Doctor said it would effect my libido but he said it would kill it. Though I have found other people saying similar things about it making them super horny.

That's weird tbh.

I went to therapy from age 14 to 19. I'm 20 now. I think I had a decent therapist honestly. I lost 150 pounds which was a big deal for me, I took anti depressants but stopped taking them maybe 2 years ago, I dropped out of school at 14. I got my high school diploma around christmas of 2016, I'm now in school for tech support. I guess I am recovered? I have not had a job or a GF but I've been going outside almost every day for 7 months now. Because at some point I think you realize that if you don't do something now you will be in a lot of trouble if your family dies and you're not lucky enough to get neetbux. If both my parents died tomorrow I would be absolutely fucked, probably go homeless or something since I can't manage to get even a minimum wage fast food job.

>>4990

>I know this feel all too well have you done those shitty online applications?

No, I saw a billboard for a fast food place hiring within 5 minutes of walking from my place so I applied. I had an interview, shaved, dressed well all that stuff and I don't think I sperged out too bad but didn't get it anyway. I don't get it honestly, it's entry level work for minimum wage in a fast food place, you can't go lower than that. I have my high school, no face tatoos or piercings. I don't have past work experience but how am I supposed to get any if I can't even get hired to a fucking minimum wage fast food place? What the fuck are employers expecting, 3 years of experience at another fast food place? Or is it the fact I'm 20 and haven't had a job yet, in which case that means I'm just fucked for the future. I'm not going for a 25$ per hour job here, I'm going for a job that would have you considered in poverty if you worked 40 hours per week. Very frustrating.

>>4991

Oh yeah and I forgot to mention I'm considering to use the knowledge I'm gaining from my class to start a small business where I can just fix people's PCs. That would be pretty nice, no bosses, working alone. Problem is I know pretty much no one so I'd have to find a way to find people who needed their PC fixed. Also could be complicated with taxes and everything.

>>4986

>at some point I think you realize that if you don't do something now you will be in a lot of trouble if your family dies and you're not lucky enough to get neetbux

Too true. I have spent the past few years trying to figure out what to do with myself, and I finally managed to find out what I want to do. Once you do find that thing that you actually want to pursue in life, it feels good. The thought of suicide doesn't enter my mind nearly as much now, in fact it's pretty rare. I hope school works out for you, anon.

>>4990

>have you done those shitty online applications?? i fucking hate those because i have to answer over 9000 questions and the system has a shit ton of errors too and every time i would apply at a fast food place they would say to me oh you did it wrong do it again in 6 months and then come back

Those are the worst. Honestly, sometimes it feels like companies here in the US don't even want people working. Everything in the application/hiring process becomes so overly-complicated that it feels like it's not even worth doing. It gets to the point where no one bothers applying until they're desperate.

>>4991

That's what I hate about the current job market. Companies have unreasonable expectations of their potential employees. I went to school for 2 years, got a degree, searched around for entry-level work, and got absolutely nowhere. I looked through hundreds of job listings, and roughly 90% of the supposed 'entry-level' jobs required 3+ years minimum experience. Of the few that I found that were even close to my qualifications (by which I mean I had to attempt applying for jobs that require 1-2 years experience) I received only 2 callbacks, and only 1 sit-in interview, in which I was ultimately turned down. Now I'm in the hellish position of having to pick up the pieces of my wasted adolescence and try to make enough money on my own to pay off my debts and support myself. I'm working on it, but it's a nightmare. I'm sure you wont have it as bad as me, I seem to have had a lot of terrible luck. At any rate I wish you the very best anon, no matter how shitty life gets or how it may conspire to screw you over, don't give up. Being a hikikomori and dealing with the isolation, crippling lonliness, and seemingly bleak future with little hope takes far more strength than the normalfags would ever give us credit for, remember that.

>>4993

>don't mind working

>process of getting a job is hellish and dehumanizing with multi interviews, drug screenings, bg screenings

>80% of jobs won't consider you without a car/license

>even if you interview you're turned down in favor of pajeet/pedro/chad/stacy whose family members/friends get them in

>have no one to take advantage of nepotism (or the pc term of '"""networking""") with

>could start own business with 40% failure rate or being bumped off/bought out by a megacorp

>below 5 foot tall megamanlet so probably can't even qualify for a lot of physical jobs

How anyone finds work is baffling

>>4994

>How anyone finds work is baffling

mostly through nepotism and connections, my brother barely graduated college but got a great job via my dad's work friend

>40% failure rate

way higher, around 90% fail

>>4993

>I went to school for 2 years, got a degree, searched around for entry-level work, and got absolutely nowhere. I looked through hundreds of job listings, and roughly 90% of the supposed 'entry-level' jobs required 3+ years minimum experience. Of the few that I found that were even close to my qualifications (by which I mean I had to attempt applying for jobs that require 1-2 years experience) I received only 2 callbacks, and only 1 sit-in interview, in which I was ultimately turned down

I know this feeling all too well, I'm pretty well educated but finding work is hell, especially here in middle of the country burgerland

>>5030

>The worst part, especially for recovering hikkis is that even when you finally luck out and get an interview, people are instinctively able to tell there's something wrong or off about you

I know right.

>>5030

>people are instinctively able to tell there's something wrong or off about you

This is the only thing that normalfags do that impress me to some degree, their sort of 'sixth sense' that allows them to immediately spot that which is out of place.

>we're on the verge of another major economic crisis so soon I'll have a proper excuse for being permanently unemployed

That's a fair point. When I think about how the world around me is constantly decaying, I often get too pessimistic to see the silver lining in things.

>>5039

>When I think about how the world around me is constantly decaying, I often get too pessimistic to see the silver lining in things.

Same.

>>5039

>This is the only thing that normalfags do that impress me to some degree

It's just a side effect of growing up as a normalfag. They got all the right developmental experiences and social interactions, which creates a bubble of what's "right" in a social sense.

>>4889

Yep, they even sended me some antidepressants, but they dont do wonders, its kinda helpful, but I still wanna kill myself

>>5189

> they even sended me some antidepressants, but they dont do wonders, its kinda helpful, but I still wanna kill myself

I don't think antidepressants, are supposed to get rid of suicidal thoughts.

>>4995

>I wish i could just cry. That sounds so good right now. But I don't remember how to do that.

I know this isn't the depression general, but I relate to that quote so much. Guessing you too have been bottling up emotionally for many years?

>>5030

>The worst part, especially for recovering hikkis is that even when you finally luck out and get an interview, people are instinctively able to tell there's something wrong or off about you

Even little kids do that. If they spend more than five minutes with you they'll call you "weirdo" or "psycho" or something. Adults don't call you out on it but it just sucks having a sign hanging over your head blaring "social reject."

>>6393

I obviously don't know what your situation is so this may not apply to you, but I find that talking to someone heart to heart about your situation and how you feel relieves some of that pressure, regardless of whether you know how everything came to be. That's one of the reasons I think this board is great, it's a good place to get some stuff off your chest. On top of that you're able to get second opinions and possible advice and therapy that may steer you in the right direction of recovering if 1. you're open to and willing to work for it and 2. the therapist isn't some kike that immediately prescribes 2000 different pills.

My first or second year of being a hikki I told my father I need psychological help and want to see a psychiatrist and potentially a therapist, he shrugged it off and told me nothing is wrong with me and that was the conversation. Because of that I refuse to seek out help ever again since it messed me up quite a bit due to getting shut down like that after mustering up the courage to actually try and get help. It left me quite bitter to say the least.

I also want to mention that in all the hikikomori documentaries I've seen about hikkis recovering etc. they always have outside help of someone either getting close to them and eventually taking them outside. Basically taking baby steps. Or they get forced out into these group hikki recovering centers where they interact with other hikkis and do a bunch of activities that help them recover. This made me wonder if there are any recovered hikkis here that got their shit together on their own, or if someone here knows of anyone that did, because to me it seems impossible to do it on your own, on top of that the longer you're a hikki the harder it seems to get.

I have twice and both times it was just him going over generalized stuff that I could have googled, it was a good experience i guess

>>6395

Sounds kinda boring anon.

I recently quit talk therapy again. The only thing i go to anymore is to the mental health clinic to get more refills from the "prescriber". I wouldn't even do that but they only give me 2 refills per visit and will cut me off if i dont call and make an appointment. The meds make me functional enough to where i can think about things realistically. Talk therapy is shit. All it ever does is either make me worse when i let them in my head, or its just a waste of my time and an annoyance when i just humor them. This last time i was given the "go to therapy or get out" treatment by my uncle because of course normalfags think talking to some bitch for an hour will solve my psychosis. I take anti-psychotics, not ADHD meds and my fucking family still acts like i'm going to recover or something. I'm done, man. I'm going to drink and jack off a bit more but this is nearing the end for me. I won't be the sad empty-headed cunt who occasionally ends up in the psych ward for walking into traffic or otherwise making a fool of himself. I'm ending this while I still have a sense of self. Though, I don't think I have the energy to run away like i always planned so i can hide my body. Not sure what i'm going to do.

Seems like this thread is pretty dead but I thought I'd contribute anyway

Ive been going to a therapist for a few months now. I've seen several therapist over the years but they all seemed to kinda not be sure what to do with me and our appointments would get less and less frequent until id just stop going entirely. This new one though still insists on seeing me every week and he isn't really entirely nice at me. The sessions actually make me pretty anxious and uncomfortable but I guess there's no point in getting help from someone who's just going to tell you whatever you want to hear. I'm not sure if anything about this has helped or will help at all though. I kinda feel as if I am beyond the point of that being possible. Although I do appreciate the effort and I think this therapist is probably better than any of the other ones I've had. I'm sure in some situations a therapist can help but maybe you just need the right one. I've also been on a bunch of different SSRIs but never really noticed any effects beyond pretty minor side effects so I still don't really know if those had ever been worthwhile.

I've found some success with therapy, though it takes fucking forever. I've worked with 4 different shrinks now and three of them weren't remotely close to useful. My current therapist has been helping me make some progress regarding dealing with my extreme self hatred/anxiety, but the progress is extremely slow and expensive.

tl;dr it helps me but it isn't exactly a solution i would globally recommend

I came to the therapist not with a request to cure me, but with a request to help me understand myself. And we have made good progress.

Hey, that's the right message. I also try now to constantly attend online sessions with a psychologist, the pandemic has affected me worse, although for a hikki it should be heaven. I mostly have complaints about my appearance, but I found https://en.bookimed.com/clinics/country=republic-of-korea/procedure=liposuction/ and I think it will really help me become more open to people. My psychologist agrees with this.

I haven't been prescribed any kind of meds, but I've been going to therapy to deal with some trauma from my childhood and teenage years.