/girltalk/ - Girl Talk

>>9537

Yeah, I probably should've seen it coming, but I was blinded by my loneliness and desperation.

He was an obsessive scum, and not worth your time. Even you can find better, anyone can.v

>>9535

What a fucking character this guy is, holy shit.

I haven't got anything too insightful to say other than "this guy is an asshole and not worth worrying about", you did make the mistake of opening up to this guy, this made it hurt more, but everyone needs to go through something similar, you will recognize the red flags next time.

>>9535

You're better off without him.

>>9535

Sounds like he was bipolar.

>>9540

Aren't you obsessive too?

>>9548

Why do you say that.

>>9552

Are you not obsessed with your former boyfriend?

>>9556

I feel bad for bringing that up snail, sorry

>>9568

you should really look for another guy fam

>>9566

I think it's less "males and females can't be friends," and more "choose friends wisley." Regardless of who it is, you shouldn't just open up completely to some random person. As stated previously, I think that the suicidal tendencies were more a sign that he has some issues to work out, rather than the norm for all males.

>>9568

>a literal commiefaggot

>too good

Snailgrill, you really need to raise your standards. Actually, being obsessed with him for god knows long will prevent you from development, hence will make it impossible to raise your standards.

>>9572

>>9574

Let's not derail the thread with my glaring issues.

In my defense: He wasn't a commiefaggot when we were together. I didn't even know the whole communist shtick was real, I thought it was a dank meme of sorts. Ironic shitposting, I used to say. Because I was convinced no one would really and truly believe communism can work in today's world.

>>9576

>I thought it was a dank meme of sorts. Ironic shitposting, I used to say.

If someone start's going into Poe's Law-tier shit, always assume they're genuine until proven otherwise.

>>9535

>>9573

>this

OP you were too quick to open up to him. Its understandable because you were feeling lonely but take it slow next time.

>>9535

You actually did not act very nicely here. I'd even say you were cruel. That's terrible

>>9596

Nah.

Any guy who uses emotional manipulation is trash, you little troll.

>>9580

tbh he was an emotional predator trying to trap her by stating that she was not worth anything and she should be glad that he paid attention to her. It's not just due to the fact that he was "creepy."

I think extreme clingyness is much the same as this, honestly. Both are symptoms of a guy wanting a woman to be his crybaby pissant support partner, to say "everything is alright" and not acknowledging any problems and not speaking about shortcomings.

I can understand being so desperately lonely that you manipulate another, but going so far as to try and trap them with you and make them believe that they're worth nothing, except through his eyes. That's just predatory.

>>9535

You're over simplifying it, I think. It's not entirely about your body. He wanted someone to tell him that it's okay to be an emotional train wreck. And he wanted to trap you into doing so. Believe me, I know how these faggots work. They don't want to accept responsibility. Most of them are man children and never had anyone teach them how to actually live and grow up. Or they just didn't want to. The rest need mental help.

>>9535

>>9630

Also, he really did need help. But the fact that he tried to trap you like this means he's a predator, whether he knows it or not, though. Be glad you did not "support" him any further. Melodrama used as a tool to manipulate and trap someone who's already vulnerable is the sign of pond scum. He's a dickless piece of shit, or he's mentally ill.

But, on the other hand, I don't think you understand that he may just be the same as you. At least, in the lonely and miserable aspect. He's still a predator though.

>>9535

>assuming a relationship with the opposite sex isn't going to boil down to sex

>ever

But now you can chalk this up to a learning experience and move on OP.

>>9537

is right and the suicidal flag is supported with the line "one day he messages me wanting to know what's wrong with me"

a stable anyone would not ask whats wrong with you but rather is everything ok, are you alright etc.

language is important, stop watching at 1:40

>>9596

>>9683

nah, dude was a shit

not sure he was after her body but cutting him off after him saying that heavy manipulative shit was a good call, wasn't done elegant but it was done right

>>9693

no, the "man" she's interacting with is either a manchild or someone with deep seated emotional issues.

nothing was instigated. they're both two lonely souls: one of them wanted a friend and wanted to open up. and the other has issues, saw weakness when he pulled off his dramatic little suicide stunt, and decided to prey/take advantage of her by telling her that she's worth nothing except in his eyes i.e. she should be glad that he took notice of her.

and he wanted to trap her (manipulate her) into believing this.

>in order to abuse another person

the only emotional abuse going on here is the one attempted by the manchild.

maybe you've never run into these manchildren, or maybe you are one yourself. implying that a situation was instigated because she wanted a friend leans more towards the possibility that you are one yourself.

>other people as tools for [their] satisfaction

that describes the manchild to a T. he didn't want to acknowledge his problems, wanted someone who would be oblivious to them and pat his head, say everything is fine. he saw weakness/forgiveness and tried to take advantage of her for his own benefit, as a tool.

but for comic relief, do feel free to explain how this situation was instigated by OP, using the words in your wormy manchild brain.

>>9697

"Manchild," as best I can understand, is an adult male who acts in a manner that should've been abandoned and the end of childhood/teenage years. Immature, entitled, somewhat perverted, and very irritable when he doesn't get his way. He doesn't understand certain social cues, or know when certain boundaries shouldn't be crossed.

Basically, he's the male equivalent of your standard feminist.

>>9693

>gets friendly with some guy

>[various reg flaggish scenarios]

>get somewhat closer

>"You give me such a hard on holy shit, I've jacked off thinking about you in my car

<"dude that's kinda weird of you to tell me this"

>"you should be thankful for it fatass"

<"no fuck off asswipe"

mean? sure, but I would have done the same thing.

>>9700

It describes someone who refuses to take responsibility or be accountable. In effect, a child. What you described are just symptoms.

I might've had sympathy for him if he had simply confessed his feelings and she told him to fuck off, but what he did was try to manipulate her into believing that she's worthless and take advantage of it, in effect. Not a very calculating predator, but still.

If he confessed his feelings, and she felt betrayed, or whatever, well it is what it is. I'd recommend she hear him out, but maybe she doesn't want a relationship. But what he did was basically tell her that she's worth nothing and that she should be grateful for the attention and obsession that she was on the other end of.

I think I've gone off enough about it, but there's plenty of women AND men who fall for this or other scenarios and let themselves be abused and manipulated because they feel lower than the lowest. Thankfully OP didn't let it happen.

>>9706

It's not "mean", it's refusing to be abused/manipulated. Whatever you want to call it, whether they're a man or woman: preying upon the weak, abusing, manipulating, predator, whatever, it's clear that this is the scenario because this is how they operate.

Well, attempted abuse/manipulation/whatever by the whiny faggot, anyways. Just because they're down on their luck doesn't give them an excuse for what they're doing.

But for some, it's all they know, because they themselves were physically or emotionally abused.

I really hope no one is physically or emotionally abused. What's worse is feeling as if you deserve it and continuing to let them do it. It's hard to get out of that negative feedback loop.

>>9744

Don't get me wrong, I did not imply OP was in the wrong, just because something isn't nice doesn't mean the receiving party doesn't deserve it.

A punch in the jaw is pretty mean too, but if someone makes fun of another's bedridden mother, they've earned it.

>>9535

>be a mental piece of shit

>"why doesn't anyone like me for ME?!?!"

>>9903

nice bait

>>9535

>>Actually feel okay with myself for once in my life

>>"You should be happy any guy is interested in you at all"

He was doing nothing but pointing out the obvious. Given how you have described yourself, you likely don't have much to offer overall as a person.

Also, your reaction demonstrates that you deserve to be alone.

>>9535

>>"All men are obsessive."

But he's right.

Some men are just more subtle and better at hiding it.

t. Man who actually has had a healthy relationship with a woman more than once.

>>10492

Being obsesive isn't healthy.

>>10478

Are you defending that manipulator?

>>10478

None of that is relevant to her not wanting to be abused.

I truly sympathize with abusers on a level, because abuse begets abuse, but it doesn't excuse their behavior.

Honestly, though, based on the fact that you excuse the guy's behavior, shows that you're probably a wormy faggot like him too.

She was wrong about him only being interested in her body, I'll admit that much, but it's not that much of a concession when he wanted someone to tell him that it's okay to be a crybaby manchild and destroy what little self-esteem she had in the process by putting up with his emotional abuse.

There's no pattern of words you can say to people like him to get them to grow the fuck up, take some responsibility, and stop being a crybaby faggot. They have to want it.

>>9535

Okay OP, tell us, how did you fucked up you life so badly that you ended up in this situation anyway?

Also, if don't want this things to happen from now on, you should aways be straight forward with you "male friends", even the ones that you are fucking, assuming that you don't wanna have a relationship with them.

>>9535

Just a bit of advice as a guy with a truckload of toxic baggage from my life.

If a guy does care about you, he won't dump that kind of shit on you, it's massively selfish. I've never done that, I've always recused myself from any sort of acquaintance or friendship if that were an issue.

That being said I've never been stalkery obsessive, but still, if you care about somebody you don't want to drown them with the poison that has resulted from your life's misfortunes.

That being said, I'm in better shape psychologically than I've ever been and in a steady, happy, long term relationship with somebody I care about.

Not all fucked up people are the same, but at the same time, know your limits, don't accept psychotic behavior from anyone, man, or woman.

>>10816

Agreed with this, the part ab out attracting like minded people, it was the same for me when I was depressed.

Im not talking "vibrations" or some weird woowoo stuff.

But your personality issues change how you act to yourself and others, even if just to yourself others can see it, and those "compatible" with you(mostly people with issues as well) will get attracted to you.

>>10963

Have to disagree here, it varies from person to person, even if you see it as selfish, for others its a sign of trust, everyone sees it differently and there are also varying ways of sharing.

>>9535

>>He sends messages to me telling me he wants to commit suicide

>>Manage to call the police and help prevent him from doing so

This person clearly has mental problems OP.

>>10543

You're touching some of the right points but you don't seem to grasp how these people are damaged and any kind of soul or empathy they used to possess is now so warped it might as well not exist. You can't sympathize with an abuser because as much as worm and lie they can only sympathize with themselves.

It takes a lot to pull someone back from that, either they were born that way or pathetic enough to be made into that and the only time they can redeem themselves and the only time they might believe they need redemption is when they've hurt someone so bad they realize how fucked up they are.

If she was a he or something obviously unattractive he wouldn't have obsessed over her, he was probably such a desperate and ugly hunk of shit that he lost all inhibition the moment he remembered what contact with the opposite sex felt like. So yeah he probably was only after her body, because it has a vagina and different chromosomes.

The only way you can sympathize with something like that is if you're from /rk9/

>>11503

>The only way you can sympathize with something like that is if you're from /rk9/

I'm not sympathizing to that extent, I thought that was pretty clear. He's a wormy manchild, what do you want me to say?

Better put, I sympathize with them so far as the differing ways in which humans become (self-)destructive, or are born destructive.

In other words, they're still human, but they're definitely shitty people, and there's no excuse for hurting someone else or preying on someone else or trying to bring them down below you so you can control them.

>And that's pretty sad because there are genuine people out there who need a little help from time to time.

This is the tragedy.

>So yeah he probably was only after her body,

To an extent, I'm telling you about the way I view what their wormy brains are really calculating, whether they know it or not. I can't know all of the details, but there's a common thread somewhere, even if it might be pointless masturbation to even figure it out. I mean, he's a worm, why even try to get into their brain?

You give them a job, they'll fuck it up somehow because they're selfish children.

You give them a shoulder to lean on, and show some weakness, they'll want to fuck you, and somehow view it as if you owe them something, or try to manipulate you.

The bottom rung being disgusting faggots who will hold out on responsibility for so long until they wind up in jail after holding out on responsibility, drinking, feeling sorry for themselves, and so on.

That's just my personal experience. Yeah, he was thirsty and probably went off the handle when it wasn't going his way, after she'd shown some weakness in compassion over his pitiful suicide attempt.

But the main point, in my experience with these faggots, is that he wanted someone to tell him that it was okay to not grow the fuck up. That's just how I view these "men."

>>11205

Oh it's definitely "sharing", but if it's potentially doing harm to that person so that one can feel better about themselves, it's something best not shared.

People like that should work on bettering themselves, I'm really disgusted with codependent types who think somebody is going to fix them. No, you have to fix yourself, that power is 100% in your own hands, and yours alone.

Friendship with males is competition and shit talking. Exchanges of terms of endearment. Intimacy between males is a deep understanding of one's mental state and a willingness to share a worldview.

I don't believe women have that kind of capacity. Even if they could grasp that kind of exchange they would be disgusted by it or too vain by their own perspective to enjoy genuine male company. If you are attractive it would be disingenuous for a male not to let you know he's attracted to you.

As far as the guy threatening to kill himself he sounds like an attention whoring faggot. Given how pissy he's being he may in fact be a literal faggot in denial but I'm not about to go full armchair on this guy. Then again, context does matter. I'm rather nihilistic myself so I'll joke about death and killing myself. Typical gallows humor stuff. I wouldn't threaten anyone that I was about to kill myself but I wouldn't be above joking about ways to kill myself and death in general.

>>12461

>Intimacy between males is a deep understanding of one's mental state and a willingness to share a worldview.

Women's friendship is the same tho.

>I was deceived by someone who used my insecurities against me intentionally

>this means I'm unworthy and incapable of genuine love and affection from a healthy individual should I put forward the effort required to emotionally meet them half-way

OP, I hope my bluntness gets the point across.

>>9535

>that he gets hard-ons when he thinks of me, and even once jerked off in his car while thinking of me

That's actually pretty normal for guys to do that even with their lady "friends" (only time when a man is actually a friend to a woman if she is blood related, he's gay, or finds something repulsive about her but not enough to be around with)

Protip.

Love at first sight doesn't exist.

The rush of emotions you feel it's just a crush, base instinct and desire.

Love is built over time, it doesn't exist at first, you need to create it yourself through hardship and effort.

Your emotion should be a drive to help create the foundations of a relationship but you can't live with the foundations alone.

I'd also say to beware people that inspire wild emotions in you: chances are they are doing it on purpose to manipulate you.

tl;dr common sense triumphs recklessness.

Oh and avoid relationships over the internet.

I mean that's just plain stupid.

>>12584

You seem to be mixing up the fact that real relationships don't work on cruise control with the fact that "love" is at best a fleeting chemical setup to enable procreation.

I agree with you, but to say that "love at first sight" doesn't exist is just heavy handed. It most certainly does exist, it just requires molding and finalizing the structure while the iron is still hot.

>they are doing it on purpose to manipulate you.

That is the dumbest generalization I have ever heard, sorry.

>>12401

at least you aren't a crackyfag still lurking a dead imagebort you've memorized the IP of.

>>12584

>Love at first sight doesn't exist.

I believe in causality to some degree and there was this one girl that I do believe was mutual "love at first sight"

We saw each other at a mcdonalds and were both with friends, I asked to bum a cigarette off of her. She ended up ditching her friends to hang out with me after we'd just met and we immediately started acting like a couple on the second time we went out, we dated for a year or so, and then things fell apart only because I got a job on the other side of the world. I feel like she would have been 'the one' (as in married, kids, the whole thing) and am fairly certain she feels the same way about me(she has said so, but i don't know how much of the internet talk I believe). she also reminds me of cracky

>>9535

the only reason bitches like you are interested in and overlook any red flags in such people is because they are good looking

>>12678

Did this person get banned or something and they're now having an autistic screech fest?

>>12815

>get b& for schizoposting

<schizpost more

such is life with the GWAN WIZOW

>>12589

They don't work.

Plain and simple.

It's easier to socialize via internet because there are less responsibilities however less responsibilities cheapen the value of the relationship.

It just doesn't work, try it a thousands time but as soon as the honey moon phase ends so will the relationship.

Thousands go "not me, I'll have the first long distance relationship that will work!", don't be one of them.

>>12593

>It most certainly does exist, it just requires molding and finalizing the structure while the iron is still hot

You are discussing semantics while saying the same thing, I hope you realize that.

>That is the dumbest generalization I have ever heard, sorry.

Not bringing an argument to fight that statement makes your line even dumber, sorry.

>>12604

>I believe in causality to some degree and there was this one girl that I do believe was mutual "love at first sight"

Your story is sweet but anecdotal.

Ultimately, it brings nothing to prove that love at first sight exist or not, as it lack evidence to prove either.

>>12819

my entire point is that there's determinism at play, so love at first sight can exist in theory and if said fate applies to you in practice as well.

>as soon as the honey moon phase ends so will the relationship.

this post also prevented me from doing something r*tarded and pursuing internet qtz, thanks for reminding me to take my daily hehpills.

>>12819

They do work however, 2 of my longest lasting relationships I had were with people i met over the internet.

Im pretty sure youre just putting too many expectations into those that destroyed it from the beginning or you just fall for the wrong type of guy everytime.

>>12819

But mine is already working. And there are others that work. Just because many fail doesn't mean it's impossible, normal relationships also fail all the time, that doesn't mean relationships never work.

>>12761

Ya

>>12819

>You are discussing semantics while saying the same thing, I hope you realize that.

I'm not exactly saying the same thing, we're trapped in a hell where we can recognize that love is a fleeting chemical reaction to enable procreation. That doesn't mean it's possible not to affirm the "joy" in it. Yeah, we're basically slaves to biology. What's new.

>Not bringing an argument to fight that statement makes your line even dumber, sorry.

To basically make the assumption that 'being crazy about someone' most likely means that you're being manipulated is a train of thought that orbiters also use.

It's a dumb generalization. To assume bad intentions based wholly on what you experience.

Now, if you want to get into a totally philosophical discussion on "imposters" and how "imposters" manipulate, if that's what you really meant, I hope you realize that almost everyone can be viewed as an imposter.

Don't assume bad intentions. There's a line, but it'll just lead you to growing increasingly unhappy.

>>12819

It's true, long distance relationships never work.

>>12819

>They don't work.

Just to add up, yeah they don't work, and the LTR that end up working in the end are not LTR anymore, point and simple, and I say this as someone who met my girl in a online game (Ragnarok, I know, I'm a faggot)

>>9535

stop being a nigger junkie

For me, opposite scenario:

<Girl with trust issues falls hard for me quickly

<Probably competing with other nearby females

<Interested in my hobbies

<Asks me what kind of porn I like

<Tells me about a friend who is a stripper

<Asks me what my ideal vacation would be

>Inspire her towards self-improvement

>Develop a genuine emotional attachment to her

>Wouldn't mind being friend zoned at all

>Signal lack of interest in wild animal sex

>One day unexpectedly share a mild joke

<Accuses me of being a creep

<Tells me there's no way she could be attracted to me

<Sounds like the Romeo to a mysterious Horatio

>Go through phases of regret then anger then acceptance

>Not longer genuinely concerned about her

>Leave her to deal with her Facebook stalkers by herself

Moral of the story: she already had that cynical outlook suggested by other posters that women should expect all men to pursue sex. From the man's perspective I can tell you that it's a disheartening start to any relationship, especially a friendship. Her preferred way of dealing with men was to jump to the chase and use her sexuality to seize control from the outset. Afraid that she couldn't control my behavior, she shut me down completely. Her narrowminded cocaine-fueled masterplanning destroyed any chance of finding someone different.

>TFW when I'm alone and miserable once again

>I get the feeling that I'm destined to always be alone.

You need to be the change that you want to see in others. If you're interested in a man tell him why (besides his money, his social status or his hawt bawd). Try filling your time together with jokes, singing, voice impressions, etc. It's perfectly OK to cut the date short if you're both caught up in your own thoughts rather than each other. Take the time you spend apart as space to organize your thoughts. Constantly chatting about yourself to impress him makes you boring. Being boring will make him think of your boobs.

>love is a fleeting chemical reaction to enable procreation

The love is there whether or not a sexual attraction exists.

>>14779

love is your body giving into causality and attempting to create children to pass your burden onto and keep the karmic cycle going

>you did not break the cycles of life and death

>maybe your child will :^)

<t. demiurge

>>14779

That's true, but you can't get around the fact that love in this context is a mechanism for pair bonding that enables procreation. I don't want to get all autistic, though. Of course you can love family, friends, but it's not a love like we're talking about.

>>14914

>That's true, but you can't get around the fact that love in this context is a mechanism for pair bonding that enables procreation.

Two people can be made to love each other. Their spirits are compatible in some way that is unexplainable. It's not like they receive certain cues and produce oxytocin in response. You can notice someone during your daily commute for years and never fall in love with them until you sit down and get to know them. The cues were there all along but they always indifferent to each other until they entered each others' space and shared an intimate connection.

It's entirely possible to fall in love with someone who is unable to be a suitable parent such as someone who is imprisoned, sterile, culturally/morally incompatible or when the couple has a large age difference.

>>9535

You should've fucked him, you whore.

>>9535

>>Come to painful realization that he was never interested in being my friend, only interested in my body

lmao my gf always says some stupid shit like that when I grab her boobies and stuff lul

then we fuck and she shuts up and feels better after

>>9566

no men and women can only be just friends if the man is gay, straight men want to fuck all of their female friends

>>9535

I would have held you down and forced myself inside of you until you submit. You would come to enjoy this and be my wife and convert to Islam. I know you would like this as I have done it before.

>>9566

Anon is right

>>9535

>only interested in my body

Congratulations, you now understand men.

Just a couple caveats, the guy you describe in the OP sounds a little off his rocker, and most men want you for your body inside the confines of an exclusive committed relationship, but don't ever be so naive as to think they don't want to put penor in vagen

>>9535

why do you want male friends?

>>15126

So? Narcotics bring you pleasure without any outside reason for it. When you masturbate you contribute nothing, but your instincts are still pacified. Same here. The fact that couple can't have children doesn't mean, that the reproductive instinct doesn't work.

>Their spirits are compatible in some way that is unexplainable.

The next thing you'll say that Earth is flat.

>dude wanting you sexually is bad cause my feels

Most guys who are fucking married never get to have a woman desire them, buck the fuck up you cunt