6d159a No.8931
Warning rant ahead: I know, this is probably not the best place,but, I want to post it here in order to see if any other submissive guy agrees with it.
I've come to despise femdom, I'm currently seeing a psychologist and have been indicated to a hormonal treatment,and want to get my own assessment on this out here.
As most sexually or romantically submissive men would know, our existence ,when not ignored, is used for comedic purposes:https://medium.com/@joyrowe/tv-comedies-get-their-quirk-on-featuring-submissive-male-fetishes-67a1a4e1433c. Owing primarily to gender expectations and human evolution, our " sexual market value" is low: https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=1628852 https://www.girlsaskguys.com/sexual-behavior/q2920011-anyone-else-find-submissive-men-a-turn-off .
Sub men are consistently mocked by both men and women, when on anonymous sites, (e.g go to any other chan). Not only in regard to dating but in influence, representation both in entertainment media(the glaring lack of sub man/dom woman dynamic in anime/manga ,movies, games etc…) and in relationship profiling submissive men are in serious disadvantage, the lack of resources to discuss femdom ,in non-pornographic way, and the rendering of any depiction into either not accurate, or simply nonexistent.
I,like many other submissive guys, have suffered from both lack of support, to a general annoyance when looking for advices online since most people seem to think it only occurs in the context of male dominance who provide and care for his submissive, focusing on"exploring and ravishing the submissive's body",instead of femdom which hardly afford that 'courtesy' and focus instead on humiliation and beatings, like trying to compensate for a perceived lack of size/strength.
I know that this particular set of interests comes from a very small community, given that in the standard relationship setup the guy has to assert himself and complete tasks, taking the lead whenever needed. It is what about 80% of people would fall into. While "keeping being yourself" would be the most likely reply this rant would gather, it'd also could lead to the exclusion of many potential partners, and even if a dominant were found there is no telling if it'd be a compatible, non abusive relationship .
That being said it would seem that it'd be easy: just leave and stop seeking this kind of relationship but although I'd want to abandon this sinking ship, it's in fact very hard when a big chunk of your attraction and sexuality stems from it .
____________________________
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8f287e No.8935
dunno but I don't have the motivation to work on myself to get rid of it because I don't think i will have much romantic success even if I stop masturbating to being dommed, doesn't matter. im a loser and I accepted it
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912f8f No.8936
I think this is a good discussion to have on this page.
I guess I am lucky in that for me femdom is purely a kink. This means something I've tried in the past, and now something to masturbate to. So it's not something I ever wanted to build a long term relationship around.
I like to read a few real life femdom blogs (e.g. Strict Julie Spanks, amazing). Even if the blogs clearly focus on chronicling the kink side of the relationship, reading between the lines you can see that femdom it's not actually a big part of the daily life of the authors. In a weird way, femdom couples seem to be all about being a couple, and then engaging in some femdom. Which makes you think if the femdom thing went (or went dormant), they would still be a couple.
As somebody said once: "life is hard and cruel, choose as a partner somebody you'd want next to you when your parents get sick and die". I think it's good advice.
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1ea6b5 No.8938
i'm *very* suspicious of hormonal treatment, but otherwise supportive of OP.
Pornography, kink, alcohol, gambling, sports, comic books - all things that if used correctly can add spice to life, but can in some case may get in the way of you living your life to the fullest. If so, remove them from your life. Enough said.
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6d159a No.8947
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2f2efc No.9755
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/1gee43/do_you_like_submissiveobedient_men_in_any_aspect/ https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/1pz4kp/do_you_like_submissive_men/
No woman likes submissive men, they are biologically programmed to be submissive, they may try to (in order to please their partner) but will end up resenting it.
The only places you're going to find dominant women are in porn (where they get paid for it), and in the same place you find people who can fly, go through walls and lift trucks… Fiction.
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60b9c5 No.9756
>>9755
The vast majority of men are dominant and the vast majority of women are submissive. That doesn´t mean that there aren´t any dominant woman or submissive man at all. Learn how statistics work.
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246f05 No.9760
>>9755
>both threads have women saying they don't mind or actually prefer submissive men
What is it with you people and not even reading your own links?
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01c956 No.9762
>>9755
I’m literally dating an indisputably sexually dominant woman. Rare as hell but yes, very real.
The biological essentialism arguments break down the minute you try to explain any fetish shit. You cannot use that bullshit to explain why there are people with ballon fetishes either. It might be useful for the average woman and average man but it fails to even explain more common things like homosexuals existing.
You’re pretty retarded for not even about that.
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2f2efc No.9763
>>9762
Is she dominant outside of bed as well, like, does she orders you around? makes you do chores/task for her?
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2f2efc No.9769
Just look how submissive men are portrayed in the supposedly "progressive" series Bonding; stupid and weird. The only time submissive men have ever be shown in tv/movies, has been as a joke, it truly hurts.
I really wish I wasn't submissive, it is like having a cancer without a way to cure it. I hate it, want to get rid of it, but have no idea how .
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f11384 No.9770
>>9762
>The biological essentialism arguments break down the minute you try to explain any fetish shit.
Not him, but this is so retarded, that i begin to suspect trolling. It is the same as saying "video games have no use for human survival thus biological essentialism is wrong". Our brain is programmed to be aroused by the attributes/characteristic/things, that imply fertility, health and better chances for the offspring to survive in general. However said attributes are different for different people since promoting diversity of genes in the population increases the chances of species long-term survival. The funny part is that since brains are complex machines our instincts can have a weird way of expression. Instead of collecting food some of us are now collecting stamps, instead of beating the shit out of each other to show dominance we now have money and power to replace it in some cases. Hell it is even all over the place among other animals as well, remember baboons? Fetishes work in the same manner. That is of course not taking into account the genetic defects or mistakes (unless they somehow disprove biological essentialism as well). In rare cases this mating programm may malfunction, like everything can, and a person can be aroused by things that may be the opposite of fertility, like necrophilia for example. But look and behold all weird fetishes are in minority, the weirder - the less people are into it. So yeah - there are submissive men and dominant women, but they are far from being the majority. This >>9756 anon is absolutely right.
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33eea2 No.9771
>>9755
the most reliable source on the internet, 2 reddit links.
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bb193d No.9791
>>9770
you dont seem to understand what you are talking about. You think humans used to beat the shit out of each other for dominance, this isnt the case at all. And you think people collect things like stamps because it mimics collecting food. Thats quite a stretch
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f598a7 No.9793
>>8931
I also despise femdom, despite being massively attracted to dominant women, for some of the same reasons. Dominant women are pretty rare, dominant women who aren't just submissive cunts looks for cash are even rarer. I think submissive men are far more common, and the utility of submissive men is extremely questionable. It's really about accepting reality - a submissive has to be cute in order for its domination to be erotic. The true intoxication of a submissive/dominant relationship (IMO) is that the dominant party is into the submissive, and is a slave to their sexual desire for the submissive, raising questions about who actually is in charge. With men, men aren't cute even in the slightest. We're a utilitarian, disposable gender, and all femdom celebrates this and so the effect is a woman just treating you like shit because you are shit. It's very unerotic and depressing, and fetishes like chastity or cuckoldry feed into this.
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823d33 No.9801
>>8931
It's possible to have submissive fetishes and not be a full-on submissive. It's like the whole transgender nonsense. If you're a boy and you don't like team sports, that one incongruity doesn't mean you should cosplay as a girl.
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2f2efc No.9803
>>9801
"It's possible to have submissive fetishes and not be a full-on submissive." The type of "dominant" women you're probably thinking of are worthless/repulsive, you're probably talking about the kind who pretends to be dominant with a much stronger/taller man, but all she really does is go on top say"I'm in charge now" maybe tie his hands and giggle like a retarded while thinking "I'm so naughty hee hee", disgusting garbage.
There is much more to the stereotypes of being a "real man" than team sports. Wanting to be held by a strong tomboy and "sweeped of his feet" for example, is strongly frowned upon, that's why gentlefemdom exists. btw trans is not cosplay.
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823d33 No.9804
>>9803
>btw trans is not cosplay.
Transexualism is not. But transgenderism is.
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823d33 No.9805
>>9803
Also, I wasn't talking about women.
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166a43 No.9835
What you should do is:
1- Know the reason for that behaviors.
2-Think in one thing disgusting, When You have these thoughts.
3. Pratice this with masturbation for a change in your Beliefs System.
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f11384 No.9864
>>9791
>isnt the case at all
It is the case for all living beings, animal kingdom in particular, humans and all other apes included. Battles for a better place in the hierarchy/niche are literally everywhere you look, from kindergarden to politics, from amoeba to a whale.
>mimics collecting food
Not food exactly, but greed is a natural mechanism of collecting things in a changing world with limited resources, where said resources can disappear tommorow or worse - claimed by rivals. Since today we don't experience the same level of hardships as our ancestors while still having same instincts, we satisfy them in the much less useful ways since we have no reason to hoard resources when they are present in the nearest supermarket. So just like when wasps will continue pointlessly preparing the nest even if their larvae had been removed, because of the instinct, so will humans obey their instincts which served them in the past, but might be not so relevant today.
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305f0b No.9876
Best way to get over femdom is to get into an intimate relationship with an actual female. It worked for me. I still wank to femdom fantasies, but in real life and in contact with women that thing is long gone.
This guy gets it: >>9755
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2f2efc No.9885
>>9876
https://www.reddit.com/r/gentlefemdom/comments/c0py24/i_just_got_scammed/ I'm not the only one who notices this, it's not coincidence women were for so long "oppressed"; real women are garbage.
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305f0b No.9887
>>9885
Post is deleted. Could you sum up what it was about?
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2e2ddc No.9903
>>8931
>femdom focuses instead on humiliation and beatings, instead of the domme enjoying the sub's body
Definitely with you there. This is true, and it's bullshit. If your femdom does not empower and elevate the woman, it's really just about male submission, not female dominance.
>>9756
The vast majority of people are neither dominant nor submissive. Most people just don't care that much about power dynamics.
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2e2ddc No.9904
>>9793
>the utility of submissive men is extremely questionable.
Social groups work better if there are several followers for every leader. That's the utility of the submissive.
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9933fb No.9950
>>8931
My advice probably won't help you OP but I'll offer my 2c. I love the femdom fetish and have engaged in femdom type roleplay with all my girlfriends to date even in my childhood I'd roleplay femdom type stuff with my female friends.
That said however I feel as though most of my femdom play is "topping from the bottom." As much as I love femdom style play, in reality I don't think I really enjoy being dominated as I tend to control the flow of the play and set the mood. I just like to get my ass kicked for mutual pleasure.
As someone who tops from the bottom I find it incredibly easy to "turn off" the desire for femdom when I'm in the mood for vanilla sex. Just look at your partner and take note how small and vulnerable she appears. Allow her petite, delicate fimininity bring out your beast within and then go to town on her.
In other words, just focus on your woman's femininity and allow yourself to become so turned on the inner beast takes over.
Maybe in time you can balance your desire for this kind of role-play with vanilla stuff like I do. Alternatively just quit it cold turkey and simply avoid incorporation any femdom play into any of your future/current relationships.
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2b9552 No.9970
according to this study about 20% of females are attracted to partners with lower in-pair hierarchy and actually such pairs turned out to produce more offspring in our modern society what could explain why this phenomenon even exists
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/271536689_Why_do_some_women_prefer_submissive_men_Hierarchically_disparate_couples_reach_higher_reproductive_success_in_European_urban_humans
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0fd0e9 No.9972
>>9903
> If your femdom does not empower and elevate the woman, it's really just about male submission, not female dominance.
This is retarded, why would taking a beating not be about female dominance?
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823d33 No.9974
>>9970
It says that hierarchic disparity produces more kids, no matter the sex on top.
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7e3971 No.9976
>>9972
If the beaten is the one wanting the beat.
There is a reason why domination is usally split from sado-masochists. Some people just like to inflict pain, with wishes for any control outside of that, and others just want to get beatean, whitout any dominance whatsoever.
Masochism and submission are not the same thing.
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f11384 No.9980
>>9904
Discipline and hierarchy are different from submission. As far as i am aware men and humans in general tend to obey people with more power and/or competence, not because of desire to be dominated, but because their well-being depends on it.
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823d33 No.9985
>>8947
goodmenproject.com is trash.
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0fd0e9 No.9988
>>9976
To be physically beaten is to be dominated, there's no way around that fact. You're being overly pedantic.
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1c3ebb No.10111
Well my friend, I have also had problems with this. I thought that I was a sub, and I also perused femdom. I loved the stuff. I thought it was an aspect of my identity, that I would always be this way, that it was a part of me. Now, we know that fetishes are not natural, that is, that they are abnormal sexual appetites, caused by external factors such as upbringing, trauma, and other things, and they are not a normal part of the mind. This gave me a problem: why should I consider it a part of me if it was not natural, or part of a healthy person? I eventually came to understand that I could have such desires and still not accept them as a part of my identity. After that, I had a little bit more ease in dealing with my inclinations. If you can accept this, you will have an easier time detaching yourself from this. However, there are some other things that will help as well: Stop masturbating, Stop looking at porn, and accepting Jesus Christ as your lord and savior. Exercise helps too, these all lead you to a more healthy life, which any kind of fetish will not be a part of. Basically, as long as you still want to hold on to your "kink", you will always have trouble with it, and you will suffer as a slave. I recommend reading Pic Related, as it is a good book, and it is very relevant to what you seem to be dealing with. Seriously, read it right now, it's only about 100 pages, you could probably read it in like 2 hours if you set your mind to it.
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1c3ebb No.10112
>>10111
IN FACT, HERE IT IS RIGHT HERE
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f11ed8 No.11235
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