[–]▶ No.2402[Last 50 Posts]>>2466 >>2518 >>2523 >>2632 >>11944 [Watch Thread][Show All Posts]
any /doomer/s that are doomers from some sort of disability or injury? i know there are some considering the world doesn't treat injured or disabled people well tbh
>on anti-psychotics since the age of 10
>use increases at 15 cause le edgy teenager
>constant psychosis and argumentative behavior
>have seizure at 21 over antipsychotic i really didnt need
>fall before convulsing causes possible head injury
>still constant arguing and anguish
>gets job towards end of 2017
>tfw you lose hours because supervisor thinks you're retarded and can't process instructions
>put together medications might be causing it
>go through months of trying to figure out which one is causing it
>get off antipsychotic
>off antipsychotic, no arguing and bitchiness but miserable and basically braindead at this point
>mfw
____________________________
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▶ No.2466>>2956
>>2402 (OP)
I'm sorry the pharma jew fucked you OP. Compared to you I have it pretty easy.
>be smart but use intelligence to rebel and justify doing what I want rather than what I should
>get really good education
>get thrown out of higher education for being a clever prick that doesn't respect authority
>get thrown out of a town
>get chemistry degree anyway
>work at citibank because I can math
>quit because usury is the devil
>a few girlfriends happened and then ended
>work with family business
>technically self employed so I have no one to rebel against but the customer (and they pay me)
>making okay money working in construction
>moved back home
>no social media so I have no social life
>hate going out because degeneracy
>city full of jews, degenerates, cubans and niggers
>all I want to do is live on a farm in appalachia
>drink away all the money I make because I am an idiot
>smart so I researched what is wrong in the world
>ate all the redpills
>no longer able to relate to anyone
>have one friend who I am honest with but he lives far away so no real social contact
>women are too corrupted by social media to be worth pursuing
>go to work 6 days a week
>I don't know what I am working for
>go to church sunday
>I don't believe in the afterlife
>drink myself to sleep every night
>I feel more connected to strangers on the internet than anyone I see in person
>I only live for my dog and my sense of spite
>I will not give up
>I don't know why though
>why am I here
>hope society collapses so I can finally feel like what I do has meaning
>nothing makes sense
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▶ No.2469>>2494 >>2504 >>2614
>autism diagnosis in 1990
>severe bullying (even online, from various bbs boards to within my own HS into vocational school and after)
<even from women/girls
>didn't lose my v-card til almost 21
>bipolar diagnosis in late 20s
>can't drive
<never learned to
>emotionally abusive ex-gfs
>worked summer jobs only until about 23
>couldn't afford college so I go to trade school
>more bullying, this time from younger kids, juggalos, slim sladies, etc (liked extreme punk/grind and d-beat at the time)
<nobody there in a one horse town even with internet knew what that was (i.e., if it wasn't crap nu metal or rap music nobody cared)
>the SJW tide happens
>mfw I'm already a strong paleoconservative
>start becoming more extremist, layered with misogyny
>go through NatCap, NatSoc and NatAn phases
>start having dialectics with leftists
>embrace their economics but hold fast to my trad social views
>become a mix of Pol Pot and Baron Ungern
>do get youtube fame.
<doesn't make a big deal about it
>still no wedding ring on any bitch
>mfw I'm 36 rotting away in the mental health system
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▶ No.2494>>2504 >>2509
>>2469
You fucking deserve to be bullied for being an ecleb. I hate you.
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▶ No.2504>>2510
>>2469
I can't place which politisperg eceleb you're larping as and I've seen a whole bunch. Has to be one of the z-list nobody pays attention to except to laugh at.
>>2494
this anon's assessment is absolutely correct
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▶ No.2509
>>2494
its not like it matters. happened all my life. I'm used to it by now and don't care anymore. besides if someone tries IRL, I'll just murder them and eat their appendages. idgaf. then I'll off myself. can't put a dead guy in jail.
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▶ No.2510>>2513
>>2504
no I actually been gaining followers.
and no, I'm not LARPing as anyone. its really me, Adolf Stalin. you can check IPs all you like. I don't lie and neither does death itself.
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▶ No.2513>>2832 >>17922
>>2510
never heard of you.
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▶ No.2518
>>2402 (OP)
sorry for being pathetic pragmatist, but do they at least pay you enough DISABILITYBUX?
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▶ No.2523
>>2402 (OP)
anyway to topic
>got diagnosed years ago with anxiety and panic disorder, a lot tough shit i went trough as teenager, i didn't even realized it at that time, it got me much later
>after years of visiting psychologist she still didn't advised me to use meds, her cognitive-behavioral therapy helped me shit
>well fuck it, I guess I have it for rest of my life
>over time it has less and less impact on my life but still it hits me sometimes so hard I go from state of panic to declaring war on God for fucking me up so bad (yes I'm still kinda brainwashed by christianity)
>during my highschool time I had courage to do anything because I actually wanted to die so I feared nothing
>now I'm scared that anything can literally kill me
>lack of sleep, keeping myself busy all the time, working hard, chainsmoking isn't really helping either
>for certain reasons I can't even drink alcohol or take drugs to have some relief
>promising friends we will meet, never keep the promise
>lost relationship because of this shit
>school was hard time because I wasn't dumb enough and everything they did wrong just made me sperg out
>got hated for my "big mouth" so professors did best they could to get rid of me asap, still had best results in tests from whole class
>thanks god I have now home-office so I don't have to deal with this shit
It's nothing, really nothing compared to you, but still it's daily struggle for life (at least in my head, right?). I hate myself for this because few years ago I could just stop, take a look on sunset or just listen to rain and think about life, feel somewhat good but now I'm just like in constant spiral leading me to self-desctruction and ultimately nothingness. I don't complain or anything, I just don't understand what's point of this all. I tried to find meaning in faith, politics, too spooky for me.
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▶ No.2614
>>2469
whats ur youtube? this board has a lot of nazbol goths so we'd prob check it out
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▶ No.2632>>2676
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▶ No.2676
>>2632
wouldnt you be too especially since you cant feel anymore
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▶ No.2684>>2735 >>12137
>assburgers
>constantly try to find whatever miniscule scrap of logic contained within the asinine nonsensical swamp of bullshit we call life
>drive self insane
>come across redpills, exacerbating my insanity
>only logical conclusion I can make is existence is a nigger
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▶ No.2735>>2783
>>2684
assburgers comes with obsessions in specific things doesn't it? If the obsession is something productive, like not sonic the hedgehog brap porn, that could be used to your advantage at least.
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▶ No.2758
>mother died of early onset Alzheimers last year
>my grandmother on my father's side died of regular Alzheimers
Pretty decent chance there's a time bomb in my head that will go off in twenty years.
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▶ No.2783>>2853
>>2735
I'm proficient with electrical/electronic things. I'm trying to get to somewhere where I can put it to use.
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▶ No.2820>>2822 >>2856
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
165 subs
i'll listen to that music tho. if anything because you're a genre sperg. i like martial industrial, doom, post hard core, and yeah other stuff too
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▶ No.2822
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
>>2820
brutal. im going to get blind drunk to this tonight and freak out the trailer park
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▶ No.2832>>2973
>>2513
It's a faggot who has a low-tier youtube channel and shits up every thread on 8ch /fascist/ ever since the beggining of that board, but I left after the BO 404'd so I don't know what happened to that place.
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▶ No.2853>>2876 >>2891
>>2783
Try local makerspaces, or wire up DIY instruments/effects units. Plenty of people sell them online for good money.
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▶ No.2855>>2856
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
Hell yeah! 1704 is the true woke ideology.
But seriously, I am watching the gnosticism series. Good stuff there
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▶ No.2856
>>2855
oops, intended as a reply to >>2820
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▶ No.2876>>2891 >>2896 >>2911
>>2853
>buy shitty electronic toys from thrift shops
>circuit bend them
>sell them to hipster scum
>profit
i'll give you that business model for free
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▶ No.2891
>>2853
>>2876
Thank you, anons. I'm going to try this.
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▶ No.2896>>2903 >>2975
>>2876
A lot people unironically do this. Others make simple square wave synths around the 555 chip, DIY theremins, etc. A more software oriented approach will be to get cheap Chinese single board computers (see /csg/ threads on /g/) and load 'em up with softsynths and hook up "unique" (read: difficult and hipster-cred worthy) interfaces to them.
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▶ No.2903>>2944 >>2954
>>2896
Thank you as well, anon. This is actually very helpful because I've been wanting a synth of my own I'd unironically give my left and right testicles for the new Oberheim-6 but I can barely afford a pot to piss in much less a 3,000 dollar keyboard so this gives me a jumping-off point to start some research.
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▶ No.2911>>2913
>>2876
shit like this would go like hotcakes to hipsters in brooklyn and portland. wish i could bend.
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▶ No.2913
>>2911
I've done it, it's easy but a complete waste of time.
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▶ No.2944
>>2903
<see attached
*yeah, my dream setup would involve several thousand dollars worth of eurorack modules, at least VCV Rack provides a poorfag susbtitute
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▶ No.2954
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▶ No.2956
>>2466
this the first post i read and been through this mentally and plenty vicariously rip cheer up
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▶ No.2973
>>2832
yeah its ok, nobody misses you. you are nobody. and everyone is nobody here. we're all nothing.
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▶ No.2975>>3001 >>3632
>>2896
most of my shit doesn't even use circuit bent stuff its either all digital or uses whatever poorfag materials I can make. I hate rich hipster noise scene fags and wish the entire scene would an hero.
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▶ No.2993
btw the noise of mine that was posted was on a split with AZAB, a side project of the Nuclearhammer drummer. AZAB is power electronics.
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▶ No.3001>>3587
>>2975
I don't think music or videos are really your strong suit, after 5 years of progress. Maybe if you focus on rhythm and melody.
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▶ No.3584>>3587
Fuck off, disabledfags. Western countries literally fucking masturbate to be able to virtue signal when they give you free shit.
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▶ No.3587>>3591
>>3001
5 years?
Arseterror has been around for 12. and I hate melodic music or making people dance like nigger ingrates.
>>3584
yes and no. define disabled. I mean if being disabled as being born a nigger or a faggot is a disability than sure. physical actual disabilties sure. nobody not even SJWs will touch schizos or spergs. we're still a liability. to SJWs schizos and spergs (esp if you're a dude), they will label you an incel without second though because of this. your post exemplifies why I hate living in this country. if anything eugenics should only apply to NTs. which I know what you're gonna say "bbut that's dysgenics" that's all pertinent to a personal viewpoint. NTs make useful idiots for the establishment. in conclusion, if you wanna really go there, might as well include almost every neoreactionary philosopher (excluding Nick Land) in the late 19th and most of the 20th century up until the goddamn boomers, most world leaders (hell I bet even Nixon would be considered legally insane these days, he used to grumble to himself off and on and would wave a revolver around in the Oval Office from time to time for no good goddamn reason), and a lot of musicians are likely mentally ill. talk about casting a wide net there.
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▶ No.3591>>3595
>>3587
Mental illness is a get out of work free card. I know plenty of people in real life who just collect disability. At least you fuckers have an excuse to not work.
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▶ No.3595>>3598 >>17923
>>3591
Scum still. A good portion of them COULD work if they really wanted to. Or what's worse is when some invalid wants to try his hand at holding down a job and his parent stops him for fear of the govt money ceasing to role in.
Besides real doomers hide the extent of their mental illnesses from society.
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▶ No.3598
>>3595
I envy NEETs because somehow they could escape being a slave of job market. Either you have your own business/you are your own boss(self-employed, freelancer, etc.) or you are NEET. If you are wagecuck and you do it just to be contributing member of society please consider killing yourself immediately.
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▶ No.3599>>3600
Eye floaters, harmful enough to always be in my field of vision every day for the rest of your life, and make white screens eternally unbearble, harmless enough that nobody bothered to figure out a cure that doesn't involve sucking out the insides of your eye with a hypodermic needle. Lasers aren't able to properly treat them since they just destroy them and scatter smaller particles everywhere.
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▶ No.3600>>3603
>>3599
God's niggerlicious design of human body again. I had it like this; floater or something which looked like black wool crumble or something. No matter how much i tried to wash it out it was there for 2 weeks and then it started to vanish. Now I'm not sure if my brain decided to ignore it as normal or it was some kind of floater bullshit that dissolved or something. One way or another, just another fear to life to actually go visit doctor which will say usual "we can't do anything about it, come here every half a year for no fucking reason and sit in waiting room for half of a day because fuck you". Doctors always screwed me up like this, I don't trust them anymore. Last time I was seriously sick was like 7 years ago and even then pills I got prescribed I just didn't bother to buy, fuck them trying to poison you and shit.
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▶ No.3603
>>3600
If you only see them occasionally like once every few weeks they're completely harmless. My doomer opinion is that everyone has a few but most people don't have them severe enough to notice them often or are simply too much of an NPC to be aware of them at all (which is what an eye doctor told me). They're not actually free-floating in your eye, they're kind of held in place by the matrix of your eye jelly. They're only "truly" harmful if you suddenly get a bunch of them at once, in which case your retina is probably detaching and you need to get it lasered immediately. You do notice them less over time but they'll never go away. I've had them a loooong time now, nearly 10 fucking years. They just showed up one day. Thankfully they have not gotten horribly worse over time even with continued computer use.
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▶ No.3632
>>2975
this is exactly why you sell them overpriced junk. so they can pay you to laugh at them.
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▶ No.5806
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
morbid obesity is doomer.
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▶ No.5852
>have had depression probably since I was a child, didn't have words to express it at that age
>contemplated suicide at 11
>assumed everyone felt this way for a long time
>get a mental health screening after an incident in the military
>get a formal diagnosis
>try a variety of things to fix said depression
>on and off various anti-depressants (avoid these like the plague)
>in and out of talk therapy
>changed my diet
>exercised and became much more physically healthy
>switched hobbies and life styles, everything from vidya to dancing
>nothing ever felt right
>still depressed every day but I manage it better
>still feel like dying would be preferable to life
I did have a therapist tell me I could probably qualify for disability, but I don't know if going on neetbux would be preferable, I feel like I would be in just the same shitty situation but with less money on top of it.
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▶ No.11936
Childhood neglect, major depression, anxiety, migraines, unreciprocated love.
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▶ No.11942
>unreciprocated love
that one hurt so much
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▶ No.11944
>>2402 (OP)
I don't have anything very special; just anxiety and an illness that makes my muscles less powerful. It doesn't really impact my life that much but many sports and certain jobs, like working at a warehouse, are ruled out because of it. As for my anxiety, I am fine until I get overwhelmed. But once I get overwhelmed I always lose my spaghetti in the worst ways imaginable (or at least that's what I think anyways).
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▶ No.12089
Concentrating is torture for me, I love to just zone out and daydream. It makes it hard for me to hold down a job… especially training portion of it. Got through school easily because I'm smart, it just pains me to study. I'm 34 and have no real job or training or direction at what I want to do in life. I've been "writing" a science fiction novel for the past 10 years, give or take, but I'm too lazy to get past the rough draft portion of it… friends, family, co-workers etc. all think it's a fascinating deconstruction of the genre and I have to "hurry up and become a millionaire".
I also know I'd be happier somewhere out in country like in buttfuck Montana or Wyoming… but I'm such a citycuck that feels I'll miss something even though the only place I really go to is Walmart and the local divebar.
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▶ No.12136
You guys are absolute faggots. You’re so lucky to not be in constant, full body pain that sucks the real joy out of life because you never get one second of not being in pain. It fucks with you mentally. I have a rare disease which that is not well understood with no cure which makes it even more frustrating and emotionally, mentally fucking exhausting.
I think back to the days when I was just depressed but I wasn’t in pain, and I would do anything to go back. I would be euphoric if I could spend one day in my old body or one of yours.
I pray that I will magically heal but for now my life is basically trying to cope with this sick joke and have as good of a life as I can and hopefully not end up killing myself. I just want this bad dream to be over
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▶ No.12137
>>2684
This is so close to me it hurts. See >>12135 for example.
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▶ No.17878
Did you tried something called Holotropic Breathwork?
It's used as a last resort for psychic holes we can not solve by ourselves.
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▶ No.17919>>17934
i have sleep apnea since forever.
im 22 and only now doctors found out that this is my problem.
i dont need ritalin and ssri and other shit meds.
i just need to sleep. but i cant. not until ill have a surgery.
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▶ No.17922
>>2513
That's because you're a faggot
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▶ No.17923
>>3595
Ok faggot. I bet you suck your mother's big fat black cock
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▶ No.17934
>>17919
Shalom
get nose surgery and it will fix your breathing issues
on top of that you can get rid of a surefire indicator that you are semitic and goyim will never ever know anymore
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