No.398428
if i think about how i grew up and all with my experiences, it makes sense for me to transition
but i dont know if im doing the right thing, and the whole thing seems like such a monumental task
even though i enjoy doing all these things, shaving, losing weight, wearing clothes, the social aspect, the fact that im being something at least closer to what i really am. im concerned about waking up one day and seeing it all in a different perspective, suddenly 'realizing what ive done'
i dont know how it is i could desire something so much but in the back of my mind think that it might be going against good in itself to transition
if i wonder "how can i find out if its the right thing to do" then i start thinking of other people's opinions. the majority's opinion on transgender things and i start to think that im in the wrong, especially because i dont trust certain people who spread 'liberal propaganda'
can anyone relate?
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No.398433
Surgery is a trap, self-actualization is the one true grail.
If you want to wear a dress or express feminine qualities, you can do this without butchering yourself.
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No.398437
>>398433
This, there is no coming back from surgery, and i have heard lots of cases of people who regret it horribly. Those people are always silenced by the lgbt lobby.
If you want to be feminine that can be done without mutilating yourself, and we will like you anyway.
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No.398445
>>398437
>>398433
If you mean Sex Reassignment, then yes, but you don't have to get SRS if you transition.
At most, you should get an orchi after a few years, but that's a relatively simple thing, and overall won't affect your life, and by that point, you would already be infertile from the anti-androgens.
Ultimately, the thing you must focus on is reducing dysphoria. Do whatever you feel is necessary to reduce it. If someone starts going on about "surgery", you need to be really specific, because there's a lot more than just "the surgery".
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No.398454
If you turn into a tranny you don't belong here, this board is for cute BOYS
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No.398476
>>398433
>>398437
>>398445
what about hormones? i want to keep my penis for sure
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No.398507
>>398476
It's not guaranteed, but there's a big chance that HRT will give you erectile dysfunction. Now…. some people it seems won't ever get ED regardless of what they take, and some people get ED within a month of taking something like an SSRI.
Best way to avoid ED is to just jerk off regularly, and if that doesn't help, take viagra or something like that when you want to get an erection.
I'd recommend reading about trans HRT on a health website about its effects and its side-effects as well as possible counter-indications.
Good luck anon. Remember: your focus is to reduce dysphoria as you feel you need to.
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No.398581
>>398437
>Those people are always silenced by the lgbt lobby
If this were true, they do a very bad job of it. All I ever see is the two or three people who regretted it being paraded about by the antis as if they represent the experiences of the whole.
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No.398618
>>398445
>>398507
This is all really good advice. It's not binary, you should tailor your choices to your feelings. The toxic voices are there, but their equally toxic opponents' quest to amplify those voices and make them out as representative of left-leaning people everywhere is also something to be aware of and avoid. Gender confirmation can be liberating, but the internet isn't a good place to find things that make you feel liberated in general.
If you're in doubt, maybe it's not a good time to commit to hormones. But depending on what GICs are like in your area, best refer yourself now anyway since the waits are often very long and they should be equipped to deal with questioning patients too. Your dr should make you feel empowered, informed and not pressured - if they fail to do that, ask for a 2nd opinion.
Bottom surgery in general has a high reject rate, only really recommendable for people who have a lot of dysphoria in that area. Lifestyle choices are the major factor (losing fat without gaining muscle is best done with a food-timing diet like 16/8 intermittent fasting imo) but you could say. Hormones can lead to breast enhancement and facial feminisation later on.
A lot of the focus on chastity, teasing and waiting a long time without cumming is among femboys and trans women is (I suspect) because they're effective means of increasing penile sensitivity, which can decline with HRT. that said most people can still orgasm and your orgasm will probably become more feminine (long and in-waves). Trans mens' orgasms become more intense and short in duration too, which is cool.
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No.398624
>>398428
I can relate. I like crosdressing and emulating a girl and am pretty good at it. In a perfect world where I could hit the "you're now a girl" switch I'd do it. The critical crossroad for me is that I do not feel I am a woman or a woman trapped in a mans body and I would feel worse off if I had to emulate a woman 24/7 in every interaction I had because it's not who I am at the core. I'm also not that feminine outside of a sexual context.
If you actually feel you're a girl or that you'd be better off being one then maybe transitioning or whatever is the best option for you. Just watch because speaking from first hand experience there are a lot of transgender people who will personally want you to transition and join their "team" and they will misrepresent reality to convince you that you'd be better off being like them despite having minimal to no understanding of you as a person. this is something that you have to be heavily introspective and honest on
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No.398625
>>398618
It's great to see that this isn't completely full of people who hate any discussion about this. Though, with the UK and the nature of the NHS, I won't blame you for going private or even resorting to self-medding. The wait is insane, and with the inefficiencies of the health service as well as their gatekeeping, it does more harm to people than good.
>>398624
>The critical crossroad for me is that I do not feel I am a woman or a woman trapped in a mans body
I have to say that "woman trapped in a man's body" is a meme. I do have the question of what do I personally feel like. I hate the idea of being "a man", it feels disgusting and alien to me, but that said, I feel almost unworthy to call myself a "woman". I've had two people claim I must be non-binary, but I just want to be me and feel at peace with myself.
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No.398626
>>398625
Personally I think non-binary is the meme.
>I hate the idea of being "a man", it feels disgusting and alien to me
This sounds like gender dysphoria from what I've read and heard and it's really not something I can relate to or sympathize with because I've never felt it.
>I feel almost unworthy to call myself a "woman"
The questions I would ask and perhaps seek therapy over would be "Would I rather be perceived as a woman in society and adopt female roles?" or "Would I be happier if I were living as a woman?" Saying "unworthy" doesn't sound like "I don't want to be." but clearly you don't want to be a man or live in masculine roles
Again I can only recommend therapy and deep, honest self analysis and introspection to figure out who you are and what you want from life.
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No.398629
>>398626
>Again I can only recommend therapy and deep, honest self analysis and introspection to figure out who you are and what you want from life.
Considering the waiting lists for this sort of stuff in the UK, the only real options are going privately, or just not really at all.
I at least know that I don't want to be "a man". That just makes me feel disgusting. I just want to be…. me. I guess the whole thing I just want to be is just be a person I don't hate being. Thinking about gender roles is just dumb, I mean, gender roles are overall pretty out of date anyway. I mean, I do wish I were more feminine, but I can't think about much about my own personality or my life I would change overall.
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No.398656
>>398626
'enby' is a meme is sorta like accusing a picasso of being a painting, no?
imo nonbinary is really just a normal-person word for what a doctor might call 'transgender not otherwise specified' - edge cases where gender presentation preferences are blended in some way. It requires either a catch-all term or a ludicrously specific one. i think the general opinion has moved away from the ludicrously specific terms (solargender anyone?) and also against tthe idea of even airing your subjective feelings about your gender too specifically to a stranger via your label. That leaves a catch-all as your only real option - alternatively we could wave a magic wand and make all the edge cases go away, but we'd all like a lot of things.
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No.398658
>>398629
The waiting times are fucked but it's not world-ending. I've known people go from referral to script in a year at Sheffield, and they will support self-medication. If you're not in a UK-based transfem fb group it's time to find one - there's no substitute for community engagement. If you get to a GIC without being a member of one you'll be recommended one by your nurse probably (they're the only place you can compare surgeons' results without confidentiality breaches!) There are certain GICs to avoid if you're questioning but, again, the community knows better than me. There's a new GIC opening in Manchester soon that had a big community consulation a while ago, definitely worth looking into that in case they open with an empty wait list.
Therapy probably won't involve deconstructing societal gender roles and might not even deconstruct your gender role that much (beyond the sense that being perceived as a man, a woman or something else by people is technically a role). A lot of therapists are pretty practical and pragmatic and focus on helping you make your transition, or help you come to decisions about what your transition should be. An experienced second pair of eyes can be really valuable especially considering how drawn out and bureaucratic aspects of transitioning can be. Looking for BACP membership is a good shout, £50 a session is a fair price.
idk where you are but this page led to like two pages of sound looking therapists near me https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/counselling/transgender/
It's worth bearing in mind that there are countless orgs and charities and decent people beavering away in good faith trying to make things better for trans folks. Don't buy the narrative that it's 'toxic transgenderism' or nothing at all, it ain't so.
Last word: Your GP is actually a key person - you need a good one as they'll be the one actually administering all your hormones, doing your bloods and delivering surgery aftercare, and they can support things like name changes and act as an advocate for you to family and employers. Never too early to start talking with them about it, you might need to switch if needed. There's a scheme that LGBT friendly GP practices can join, might be worth seeking one out in your area.
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No.398659
>>398658
I forgot to mention GPs can give bridging prescriptions if you self-med! Shop around (i know it feels wrong but the system is designed that patients shop around) to find one who does it, I wouldn't be surprised if the names are shared somewhere.
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No.398666
>>398658
I…. live in Northern Ireland.
From my past experience from dealing with a GP for asthma, I do not trust my GP at all, and what's worse is that GP practices here are assigned to you by your postcode and the catchment area.
Further to that, there is only one GIC here, and the waiting list is 2 and a half years.
I am not out to my parents, which is mostly for aspects of not wanting to deal with any fallout from that. I'm an only child and I still live with my parents. Hiding this sort of thing from them would be next to nightmarish.
At any rate, I don't really want to live in the UK or Ireland… I sometimes feel like I'm coming up with excuses, but I just sometimes also have no idea what to do. I just sometimes ask myself "why me?" but it just seems like a horrible situation here. Our health service here is bullshit, and after spending 6 weeks getting a diagnosis for asthma a year ago, I don't think I can trust them for anything else…
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