No.388243
my bf gets extremely depressive and starts using avoidance in texts while trying to heavily imply he's going to kill himself whenever I'm out overnight
this is an issue because twice or less a month I'm usually staying with my parents as they have a lot of family events that go on
he also gets invited to these. even as a guest who can hide in my old bedroom on his laptop all day (that's what he does at home anyway)but he refuses because he gets too anxious
I love him to heck but because of this I have to avoid my parents/brothers/sisters and every so often when I do leave I get worried as hell
I'm out the house now and he's told me he won't be home tomorrow because he'll be in heaven
he's stopped texting and hasn't been answering any calls and I know no one who can get to him. it's past midnight
it feels like a boy who cried wolf kinda thing at this point but I really don't know what to do :/
____________________________
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No.388245
The more often people claim they will off themselves, the less likely they have any real intention to do so.
This person sounds like he's doing it all to get attention and your very first action should be to not take his bullshit seriously until he realizes he's just being a baby shitting on the floor.
If he truly loves you, he will stop it for your sake.
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No.388246
>>388243
Hey OP, your BF was the same person I was with my exGF. He is emotionally abusing you. period.
Through constantly threatening his own death he seeks to keep you and control you forever. You won't leave him if he kills himself right??? wrong. he's not serious about killing himself. He is using it as a last ditch effort to ensure that he will never be alone in life.
We fear to be alone, and somebody so anxious, so withheld from the world (ie: staying inside constantly to game) will poison his passions and ability to create relationships as you can already feel/see.
with my ex, I actually went so far as to submit myself to the ER for "suicidal thoughts" but once I was in my room, in ER gown, I sat on my bed and had the most intense sensation of "you are actually this pathetic and retarded, lying about suicide to get back at your gf"
I left with my head down and tail tucked.
Do not let him abuse you OP. His life is not in your hands. He is manipulating you for his own desire and reparation. You cannot hope to have a fulfilling relationship with somebody who seeks to control you through your Empathy.
Please take care of yourself, OP. Don't let him trick you like this. It is entirely unfair of him to cause you this burden.
A line has been crossed, if you ask me.
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No.388248
To be honest if someone said that to me I'd leave them, emotional blackmailing is extremely shitty. It sounds like he has some massive behavior/mental issues, I doubt you two can get your way out of that without help. Getting him to do a therapy could be a good idea.
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No.388253
>>388246
in honesty I was like this too with an ex gf, but then I got wrecked in a later relationship when a chick tried to kill me for accepting I was gay
after that I just stopped caring for my own life and just starting living to serve other people's lives
like, he can abuse me all he wants, as long as he stays alive, I've been trying to convince him to move to his mothers rather than just off himself since at least that's a more positive outcome
>>388250
I feel like in a way I may be seen as the person using him though :/ I rely on him for bills/housing (I pay half of everything but idk how bills work and I don't even work I'm in uni)
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No.388258
>>388255
my point is in a way every relationship comes with a degree of people using eachother, whether it's for emotional or financial support, I just kinda wish I was able to keep him stable without needing to be there 24/7
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No.388261
>>388260
yea I get that :/ that's why I try suggest him going back to his family rather than off himself, because they live a plane ride away and I think that maybe he gets upset and jellous that I get to see my family but he can't see his (although he chose to move away from his fam)
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No.388277
He sounds VERY emotionally manipulative and/or abusive. My (now former) best friend was the exact opposite in the sense that he was aggressive and angry with me for really no good reason rather than depressive. I can only describe him as a borderline psychopath in the sense that he would act really friendly, nice and almost even shy with strangers who were nice to him out in public, but as soon as we were alone together, he would do a complete 180 and be the biggest asshole you could possibly imagine. He would constantly tear me down and basically make me feel like nothing even though I was realistically the closest and longest lasting friend he'd ever had in his life considering what I knew about him and his past. Part of me ignorantly thought that, by being nice to him and trying to be decent with him like most other people hadn't with him growing up, I could somehow "fix" him and help him become a better person like I believed a good friend should, but I discovered much too late that I was only enabling him and was nothing more than a verbal punching bag for him when he had a bad day or didn't get his way with something since he was spoiled rotten growing up and was rarely told "no." The shitty part is that he actually used to be nice to me when we first met in middle school, but by the end of high school, he'd completely changed into this disgusting shell of his former self that I finally ended up seeing for what he really was two years ago and decided to end our seven- or eight-year long "friendship," if it ever really was one to begin with.
As for your BF's issues, I've had severe depression and PTSD for a big portion of my life from a lot of unpleasant things that happened to me as well as around me from my childhood up until actually recently here in early adulthood where it seems like my life is finally starting to take a turn for the better, things which I don't really feel comfortable discussing here even anonymously. I was suicidal on and off for years and actually tried to kill myself once back when I was 18. However, I have never once and would never use my mental state against someone I cared about in order to manipulate them into getting what I wanted out of them because there's absolutely no excuse for that kind of behavior whatsoever.
My point in telling you all of this is that I know firsthand what it's like to be taken advantage of by someone else who tricks you into thinking they truly care about you because you're too nice to them, when in reality, they only see you as a carpet to walk on in order to get what they want in their lives. In short, I would end it with your boyfriend ASAP because the longer you're with him, the more you'll regret not breaking it off with him sooner. Just tell him flat-out that you want him out of your life. From how he's treated you, you don't owe him anything, not even an explanation. Whatever he says back, do NOT listen to it or give him a second chance if he "promises he can change" because it's only bullshit and people like him will most likely never change, no matter how hard you try or how long you're with them; it's just a hardwired part of them at that point. Ultimately, the choice is yours and yours alone and though I don't know him personally, he does NOT sound like a good person and especially not good for you based on everything that you've said. Good luck, OP.
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No.388283
>>388253
this is not healthy.
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No.388289
>>388246
>with my ex, I actually went so far as to submit myself to the ER for "suicidal thoughts" but once I was in my room, in ER gown, I sat on my bed and had the most intense sensation of "you are actually this pathetic and retarded, lying about suicide to get back at your gf"
How the fuck did you get to this.
Seriously curious how people like this even exist.
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No.388310
>he won't be home tomorrow because he'll be in heaven
Dating a Christcuck was your first mistake. And based on >>388253, it seems you attract these kinds of people. You need to just not. No matter how hard you try, you CAN'T FIX THEM. Either they are going to die, or they are going to fix themselves (through therapy or otherwise); either way it has nothing to do with you. Regardless of whether or not you care about yourself, you're wasting time with this. You want to actually help people? Go volunteer at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen or whatever. (Or better yet, an animal shelter; dogs love for real.) But being an emotional crutch to manipulative jerks and thinking that's love isn't serving a thing.
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No.388324
>>388310
>being an emotional crutch to manipulative jerk
/thread
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No.388325
>he won't be home tomorrow because he'll be in heaven
Tell this fucking heretic suicide commiters go to hell according to most beliefs. The only way it'd not be so is if he was commiting it to avoid being captured by enemy forces, unbelievers or other heretics knowing they'd torture or kill him anyway or some other interesting cases, but not because he's a pussy. Then slap his ass to assert dominance, have a honest talk and either force him to commit no further manipulative transgressions or break up if it fails.
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No.388340
>>388289
pain, Anon. loneliness, hopelessness, uncontrolled desire, drug abuse, isolation,.
I did that to myself, just as many people on this board glorify such a lifestyle. They think that staying inside and avoiding everything somehow makes life easier.
As somebody who threw themselves out a window on xanax and alcohol, I can promise that isolation and becoming a bitter neet asshole is the WORST thing our generation can do to themselves.
I feel more comfortable around my towns local heroin addicts than i do some neets.
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No.388345
>>388325
M8, universal salvation.
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No.388364
>>388243
I was gay and took the biscumpill after several disastrous relationships with other cuteboys, honestly, have sex with them, but have relationship with girls.
Relationships with subs or "dysphoric" bf's rarely last more than 2 years, do not waste your time with people without hope.
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No.388431
If you really love this boy then you have to show him you're strong, otherwise he will keep taking advantage of you. If he has anxiety, then he either needs to get out more or to take meds. Give him an ultimatum that if he doesn't start taking care of himself then you'll leave him. Be as gentle as you need to, but if nothing changes back out of the relationship.
Right now he's evidently dependent on you, or at least percieves himself this way. Push him so that he learns to believe in himself and value his own existance. If you're too weak to help him, then you probably don't love him.
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No.389066
I'm not half as crazy as your boyfriend but I'm guilty of getting really paranoid as well when mine goes out or whatever. I'm fine with a day or two, but more than that and I lose my shit. I don't threaten suicide by I definitely get very paranoid I'm getting fucked over and cucked.
With that being said, I'm dating a former male escort who has had sex with probably a hundred people, AND it's a long distance relationship.
Woe.
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No.396755
shoot him and then yourself.
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No.396823
next time he threatens to kill himself offer him a gun and call his bluff
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No.396832
>>396823
What the fuck is wrong with you people? Also sage because this thread died like four months ago.
But seriously. Normal people don’t say they’ll seriously kill themselves. Even if they’re “bluffing” that still isn’t normal; they need actual help, therapist, doctor, something. It’s really depressing to see how many people so quickly demonize this guy’s boyfriend. Like obviously what he’s doing is not right, but that doesn’t mean he should be thrown away like trash. Kudos to everyone who suggested he be taken to therapy and what/not—actual solutions.
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