/cow/ - Lolcows

JAHANSFACTS

✔ brought a hamster to orgasm

✔ soundly rejected by the online hamster community

✔ had his pumpkin smashed by a foreigner

✔ carried a dead rat around with him

✔ buried multiple goldfish alive to make compost

✔ played with animal carcasses

✔ smashed a child's head into the ground repeatedly screaming "why won't you die"

✔ made a dalek and cuckshed in 3D

✔ low intelligence

✔ aspiring BBC script writer

✔ aspiring BBC cuckold

✔ obese

✔ told by an endocrinologist he is too fat

✔ founded Green Nothing Productions (not registered at companies house)

✔ vowed to review Twilight and Fifty Shades Of Grey while cosplaying as Bella if a facebook post about GNP got 10,000 likes (it didn't)

✔ owns an inflatable dalek

✔ wiped his cat's arse with his finger

✔ wrote about intravenously injecting women with cum, shit and piss

✔ wrote about removing and eating organs from living women

✔ wrote about cutting women into pieces

✔ wrote about wanting to shrink women and keep them as pets

✔ wrote about roasting Amy Pond alive

✔ quit after one day as a trolley boy

✔ threatened to strangle every member of an internet club

✔ made multiple topless youtube videos, once asking the audience to masturbate

✔ licked his own nipple on cam

✔ got banned from multiple facebook groups for transphobia

✔ his own sister is terrified of him

✔ wrote unsolicited torture porn of Laura K Dale and Jim Sterling

✔ handed said porn to Laura K Dale in person

✔ terrified a deeply autistic man after performing oral sex on him

✔ killed a tarantula by crushing it under foot

✔ founded Project MIRTH

✔ pronounces bickers as "bickers"

✔ attempted to physically remove his father from the house

✔ got scolded by a policewoman who then told him to tidy his room

✔ demanded that his mother pay him £50 to move a chair

✔ got angry when she only gave him £30

✔ broke his wrist falling over after flamboyantly storming off when his mum made him pay for a bed with "his own money" (her money)

✔ blacklisted by multiple feminist communities

✔ blacklisted by the labour party

✔ threatened suicide bickers the requirements to receive welfare are too strict

✔ threatened suicide if terrorist sympathising communist corbyn didn't win

✔ cut his own hair with disastrous results

✔ refused to come downstairs when a friend came to play

✔ received a valentine's day card but did not appreciate it

✔ can't be a computer technician bickers quantum computers

✔ can't learn to program bickers new languages will come out

✔ can't learn to drive bickers self driving cars

✔ autism makes him too efficient to work full time

✔ NEET

✔ showing many symptoms of diabetes (pain in extremities, slow wound healing, headaches, blackouts, lack of energy, intense thirst, sugar craving)

✔ not even white

✔ burned a gastropod to death in a toxic isobutene and propylene glycol solution

✔ rejected by the straight community

✔ encased a deeply autistic man inside a latex envelope and induced a negative air pressure

✔ genitals are like two tic tacs and a slightly larger tic tac

✔ soaked his socks in his own piss (while wearing them) as a dirty protest against going to the zoo

✔ privatised all his vids on his main channel (secret tory?!?)

JAHANSPEAK

Project MIRTH Making Internet Racists Think Healthily

JIDF Jahans Internet Defense Force

JQ Jahans Question / Job Question

JEU Jahans Extended Universe

bickers the correct pronunciation and spelling of "bickers"

GNP Gas Niggers Party / Green Nothing Productions

Supremely arousing how Jahans finds murder and cannibalism

Absolute nectar a movie production company based in Lagos, Nigeria

Nazis a catch-all term for literally everyone and everything

Submissive Blond Girls see supremely arousing

Jeremy Corbyn hope

The Female Doctor also hope

Stupid question, but what do you mean by bickers?

>>291977

More fake self-loathing and apocalyptic nonsense. In other news, Jahans will reuse the term "mundis turpis" for a future wankfiction.

>>291995

The Jahanic pronunciation and spelling of because.

>>291975

> i don't want to be here

> this music has been culturally appropriated

> my soda spilled

> my chicken is wet

> my feet hurt

I've missed the last two bloggages. Catching up it looks like the withdrawal from videos is driving Jahans more insane. This latest line: '' miss the fire. I miss the storm that powered me. I miss the flickers of. “And so we shall shoot all the keyboards of all the trolls because how dare they.” is as close Jahans gets to admitting he craves the attention as it gives focus to his otherwise entirely deranged and meaningless existence. I think he's spiralling into lolcow death phase. Everything has converged in his mind now, politics, fiction, adam, real life and he just wanders around Woking collecting universal benefit and throwing his kfc on the floor.

>half my family is actually dying

Is this the end for big balls keith?

>>292025

I noticed that it's been months since he stopped mentioning his "morality". Coincidence?

>>292037

What really gives him a purpose is first and foremost writing cannibal/torture porn.

>Without us? He is nothing more than just another voice screaming and ranting and crying out into the void

Its not like this would be new for Jahans, he was doing exactly that before /britpol/ discovered him in 2014. But I agree that he's a total attention whore, he could easily post his vids and fictions under different names yet he chooses to link everything to his real faceberg, twitter and "farsh-nuke" nickname.

>>292002

>I also think that becoming less of a problematic arsehole will take my whole life.

Is this a legit quote?

NEW BLOGGAGE: "MAYBE I AM JUST A LITTLE BIT ACTUALLY EVIL"

http://farsh-nuke.blogspot.com/2017/11/my-sympathies.html

>>291975

>Today I decided to buy myself kfc because I had to go into town for universal credit

that is the blackest comment Jahans has made

>>292039

>latest blog

<For this reason I have a serious hard-on for the patriarchy. I mean yes I am a man with a tiny dick who got bullied a lot as a child and I have a fetish for submissive women but mostly it’s the competency because morality trumps all things except competency in my head seemingly.

Streak broken.

>>292080

So after watching all those Adam videos analysing him… instead of trying to extract any constructive meaning from him, Jahans is just going to lazily double down and just acknowledge and embrace that he's a bad, "evil" person.

Hopefully this is just a more nuanced attempt at self-pity. It would be ironic if Adam himself ended up being the one that gave Jahans the push to start killing.

>>292056

lol he definitely reads this thread. I'd been suspecting so for some time as the bloggages seemed to suspiciously relate back to topics of conversation on here but this is pretty definite proof. 'your favourite lolcow' he's being as explicit as Jahans is to le ebil Nazis.

>>292084

weird as jahans constantly puts absurd, irrational, herd-thinking morality above efficient exercise of power in all his "political" fiction.

>>292135

His gyno tiddies sure haven't improved jesus.

>>292140

>His gyno tiddies sure haven't improved jesus.

Those pictures are from ages ago

I don't think he's posted his tits in years

>>292145

I'll have to look through the archive but I remember there are a few recent vids with a white top where you could see his moobs were the same or worse.

>>292146

How much does he weight? From his height and amount of fat I'd estimate soemthing over 280lbs.

>>292170

He said he's either 6'3 or 6'4 and given his height combined with his voluminous bulk it means Gordo is really really fat.

>320lb (145kg)

Sounds realistic.

>>292170

>at uni.jpg

the absolute state of that room

Old Jahans. He gets his top off in this one lads.

Has Jahans ever met with anyone with Kallmanns?

>>292172

>He said he's either 6'3 or 6'4

Probably real due to klimefelters height boost but I still have problems believing this faggot is taller than me

>>292239

I am forced to the appalling conclusion that Jahans was actually trying to keep his hygiene under control when he was shooting videos, even while wearing the same shirt for 10 days straight. And without the videos, he gave up.

>>292239

>woe is me, my eyesight is poor and its very scary having to wear glasses

perfect example of how he conflates his very small problems to epic proportions. his actions have nothing to do with his kallmanns. i just wonder how his mind got so warped, his mother? mothers are often the NEET enablers.

>>292239

He says around 13 minutes that he's not back, and this is only him giving an update to point out the reason that he's not updating as regularly as usual. This is clearly a lie. He wouldn't make a new youtube account and upload a video for that, he'd write half a paragraph on his blog.

>>292254

If I recall, not only did he make a blog entry but also twitter posts and facespace posts. He's just really starved for attention.

>>292257

Yup. He's back!

>>292257

> mum announces she has the flu

> takes all of the medicine in the house and leaves for her boyfriend's

So he's alone. She probably gave him 20 pounds for "emergencies" and he blew it on fast food like a little boy.

>>292239

>why don't you people watch these other youtubers who make good cocks and not me?

Why does he always think that the people who watch him are watching him for his cocks/fiction? Why does he keep talking like he's a entertainer when he's not? People are watching you Jahans cuz your a fucking train wreck.

>>292239

Looks like we could be in store for some quality cocks again. He's going through one of his more obvious mental episodes again here. Either that or not posting a video for a while has left him semi deranged.

>>292305

>Why does he keep talking like he's a entertainer when he's not?

He is a entertainer. Years of pretending to be a kind of eccentric doctor who-esque character have resulted in him genuinely being a sort of bombastic entertaining guy. It might not be for the reasons he wants but you can't deny that he is entertaining.

>>292329

>have resulted in him genuinely becoming

>>292358

>Republicans are defending a mayor having sex with 14 year olds. I can't even. How the fuck are you this evil?

THIS COMING FROM THE SUBHUMAN WASTE OF SKIN GLEEFULLY MOCKING "EBIL NATZEES" FROM DRAWING ATTENTION TO THE 1400 GANG-RAPED CHILDREN AT ROTHERHAM

>>292360

Is microphilia and paedophilia related? On top of cannibalism Jahans has a microphilia fetish which led to his sexual ab.use of hamsters. If he wants power over those weaker than him then it seems like kids would be a target. Perhaps Jahans' "I have no shame" narrative is to make us believe he isn't hiding anything. He says it over and over again so maybe he is hiding something. The counter-argument would be he's only interested in his own cannibal fiction.

Whether or not he's a paedophile his minimisation of those horrific crimes is pure sociopathic evil. I find it hard to believe someone would make such comments unless they were a paedophile though.

I would like to see a video from him clearing up this particular JQ.

>>292358

>however that's not type of entertainer he intended to be.

He's better than what he wanted to be in his current form. There are hundreds of thousands of autists with YouTube channels and I have never seen one with the appeal of Jahans, the things he says and his lack of real shame are funny and entertaining but it's the delivery that really makes him stand out. He is a naturally entertaining guy.

>A while ago he rejected the notion of becoming a professional lolcow like coppercab when it was suggested to him

It's for the best, it wouldn't be funny if he wasn't talking about stuff that makes him passionate. He also wouldn't be as good if he was just pretending to be retarded or was manipulated into doing things, it's much better knowing that all of his opinions and quirks are his actual opinions and eccentricities. It's organic and that makes it funnier.

>>292363

He regularly clarifies that he is talking about adult women when he talks about women in a sexual way which seems kind of weird. I doubt he's a pedo though, he would have let it slip by now.

>>292380

*Nothing if is off limits for him

>>292239

I would seem like he took it down within the past 30 minutes here…

>>292416

That's a shame, it was a good one. It was mostly just **funny* rambling but he mentioned a future set of stories that are in the multiverse but are more centered on individuals than the greater universe, he said it will be written in the style of world war z and will focus on the struggles of minorities in the multiverse and will have BLM leanings and inspiration. I'm looking forward to this one.

I like how he said it was just to explain he wasn't making videos anymore but it lasted for nearly an hour and was just like his old videos. He'll be back again, he really can't help himself.

It's finally here

Is "Farsh-nuke" supposed to be some kind of high-society-sounding name like "The Thin White Duke"? Anyone figure out why he named himself this?

>>292487

Apparently it is a mispelling of farcical (probably just farce) that stuck. Not sure how true that is but it's what I have read here.

>>292480

You had a deal, Adam!!!

Seriously though, thank you. surprise vid made my week.

Adam/Bkack Adam/Godwinson/An Esoteric Production (whatever you're calling yourself now) thank you for doing this. Boyfriend Saga was a video that needed to be made and you've done the events justice. I actually couldn't stop laughing from the moment the intro rolled to the ending when Jahans thanks all of his patreons. I will write a proper review of all four of the videos at somepoint but, like i did with the last three, here are a couple of points:

■ Is it really true that jahans has stopped though? Or is it in reality just a break? He came back this week so Adam is exaggerating when he talks about closed systems and there being no new jahanists. If Adam keeps his videos up and doesn't take them down like he always does then the fanbase will grow.

■ The vacbed stuff is truly degenerate but it's actually relatively tame in the world of bdsm. Adam clearly lives a sheltered life if this is the height of what he finds disgusting. Anyway I had always assumed that posh people like Adam were into all kinds of bdsm in the bedroom so I think that there may be a bit of smokescreening going on. The only weird part is Jahans jerking it at the side of the bed while his bf is being packed.

■ When Helen walked in I couldn't breathe. And then for him to carry on talking… I'm sure that she lives in a relaity bubble where Jahans isn't an evil monster, but talking about these things in front of your mother is plain wrong. Jahans needs to know when to stfu.

■ Adam is right when he says that Jahans is basically describing himself when he talks about his boyfriend. But the boyfriend really is Jahans X1000 —– he seems waaaaayyyyy too far gone. Whereas Jahans is somewhat salvageable.

■ Nice shoutout to the Discordfags - although you missed me out lad. Plus, when are you coming back? If you have fallen out with them just make you're own. Half of us are only there for you anyway mate

>>292473

Exactly. Bickers he's used the language of the leftists to describe and justify his cannibalism he can delude himself into believing they'll accept him. He was excommunicated by the trannies before and it'll happen again with whatever new group he joins once they learn of his true nature.

>>292480

Great vid. Jahans is so fucking retarded I fear he won't see how well it exposed his hypocrisy and what an absolute prick he's been. Jahans made a really terrible choice by focusing on a list of stupid fetishes.

>>292520

Although he's playing it up for effect, more people should have a "sheltered life". That is arguably the whole point of civilisation.

>the boyfriend really is Jahans X1000

But we only heard Jahans' side of the story. The very fact that we all recognise Jahans was projecting (well illustrated in the vid) shows that it is probably the other way round. So his bf is more autistic, OK, but at the end of the day is he a fucking cannibal? There are many profoundly autistic people who can't even tie their own shoelaces yet they will go to heaven when they die. Jahans is hell bound.

If we take Jahans' word that guy had a meltdown for no reason and Jahans dindu nuffin. My fucking arse! Whenever Jahans says "that was bad" or "it was bad" that's code for he went off on one, screaming and shouting.

>>292590

>TRANSJAHANS

That can only happen if he ever regrets having started with the testosterone injections, but he seems pretty proud of his newfound physical strength. Most people could empathize with him when he had a girly voice but now he's a lot creepier, so he may regret that in the future.

>>292661

>>292706

>TRANSJAHANS

Not going to happen. He could try to "embrace his feminine nature", but he has too much lore with the trans community to try and join them again. I'd expect him to go the intersex route, instead.

Technically, he would be more female than male without the testosterone injections. The only reason he was raised as a male is the triplet of tic-tacs between his legs. I can totally see him "realize" that he was "meant to be" female or hermaphrodite and act accordingly.

>>292711 (Checked)

He's not really different from any other degenerate autogyneaphile leftist apart from his condition, but it is a key difference. Intersex? That's interesting. I wonder if he would stop the testosterone. If is living conditions became more stressful (moving out) I can imagine him stopping them out of laziness.

>>292713

He got a small amount of attention from non-nazis on two previous occasions: his video defending Phantom Menace and his video slagging off David Tennant. Maybe, just maybe, he would get a few hits because defending that film is quite a weird thing to do.

My dream Jahans podcast lineup would be him, Adam, walsallmatt and RebeKKKah.

>>292706

>phantom menace

MEESA OWE YOU A LIFE DEBT

MEESA TAKE YOU TO A LEADER THAT WANTS ME DEAD

LESSA HAVA RACE IN THE SECOND ACT OF THE MOVIE WHEN YOUSA CAME HERE FOR A TAX DISPUTE

>>292718

Jar Jar, it's time to let it go. Lucas ruined your career with that shitty film but you have to move on.

>>292713

>>292717

I bet his defense of Phantom Menace is just contrarian bullshit.

>>292726

There are people that like the prequels and think they are better than the OG trilogy. And Jahans would be in the agegroup of those kids that probably saw the prequels before the OG trilogy.

So it might not be contrarian bullshit, maybe he is a huge fan of the politics in the prequels or Jar Jar fan. Who knows?

>>292746

Jahans' writing gives me nightmares. Not the cocks, just the idea of having to read more of it.

>>292749

also it's not only the idea of having to read more of it that gives the creeps but what more new and degenerate things will there be?

>>292752

No, it's less what he writes and more how it is written. I finds his literary style unpleasant. It's like free form screenplay fragments with globs of stream-of-consciousness ejaculate mixed in.

>>292746

I'm sure this will be very different than all the others.

>>292726

>>292741

>>292718

>>292706

https://farshnukeblog.wordpress.com/2016/01/15/the-phantom-menace-is-my-favourite-star-wars-film/

Archive:

http://archive.is/ig08M

It's not really that interesting.

>>292760

Jahans has written a lot of dumb shit, but this ain't none of it. (If you ignore the references to current politics.) He likes the movie because he thinks it's cool and because it is more accessible to him than the original trilogy. Nothing wrong with that.

>>292761

Agreed, and it shouldn't really be surprising. Jahans enjoys the autistically obsessive backstory which obviously didn't exist in 1977 or whatever. Frankly the prequels are an autistic wet dream: every single detail is filling in some inanely complex backstory or narrative left undone in an earlier film or is waiting to be completed in a later one. Or as Jahans says:

> Everything that happens to his character in this film genuinely matters and has a knock on effect in later films.

Also having thought about this for a few minutes, it blows my mind that seemingly normal people waste hundreds of hours of their lives on this nonsense.

>>292761

>i like it when i uhh see a big explosion and uhh when batman beats up a guy haha its so much more accessible

>>292792

> Also there's a dark period where he starts molesting his hamsters and writing them into the fictions as sylphs for him to pervert and debase.

/cow/ has a long history but I hope this is preserved with our legacy. Such sentences had never been uttered before, and never shall again.

>>292360

14 is legal where I live. why is this fat retarded fuck so annoyed by it?

>>292792

No, thank you. And you might've spoke too soon about the closed system. He's already made new blogs and videos since.

Do you think /cow/ will ever see the tic tacs?

>>292804

Why has no one illustrated any of his work? How does Alex want us to picture the Farsh-nuke?

Jahans writes an open letter to the 2016 version of Jahans:

https://farsh-nuke.blogspot.co.uk/2017/11/dear-2016-me.html

Filtered to remove his "I am finally recovering version 875":

> Your sister has revealed herself as not only emmigrating to as different country but also a staunch defender of your father.

> I think my father, the government and that prick who thinks I wrote Adam Godwinson about him will keep screaming in my face.

> Ohj I know they’ll keep trying to destroy me and my family. Father threatened my mother that he would reduce the share of the money she got from the house if she didn’t do more work round the house.

he deleted all his videos?

>>292839

Just him in a top hat? Nice.

>>292920

And a suit, yes. Also some gadgets, like a sonic screwdriver.

At least I think so. Since his videos have been removed, I can't find it anymore, but there is one episode of his critic show, where he actually plays the Farsh Nuke. If you can find it, you can double check and get something more precise, as I'm not sure.

The plot is more or less that the writer of the show (Alexander Gordon Jahans) writes himself into his own show to have a philosophical discussion with the critic (who's the main character). Just to show that he can, the writer also writes in the Farsh-Nuke. However, the Farsh-Nuke is so powerfull that he can disobey the rules of the script, which means that not even the writer can control him. It's less climactic and more mastrubatory than it sounds here, but as far as Jahans' works go it's quite good.

Does anyone have it? I'd like to rewatch it myself, actually.

>>292760

Here's his video review

20130523 H0Br5_fU728 Review Star Wars episode 1 The Phantom Menace

>>292792

We could do with a complete timeline of the important events in Jahanic history.

>he actually loves baiting his trollbase

Makes me feel dirty and used.

>>292958

That seems like an old video. Did he use to call himself "gordon jones" back in the day as well?

>>292960

Yes, because people thought he was a lesbian.

>>292960

It's from 2013.

Here's his review of A New Hope

20130502 dIbVVFIoJUQ Review Star Wars episode 4 A New Hope

>>292962

He's full lesbian in this one.

>>292973

He can't really cover very well, though. He became angry when discord fags offered to take a look at his CV to help make it better or do practice interviews. Almost livid with rage.

But obviously this is a guy that has come up with the most elaborate excuses for futility that have ever been employed: he won't apply to become a driver because "self-driving cars" will one day replace him, he won't study coding because "there will be new languages someday," etc.

I'm genuinely curious if these things work on Helen. They clearly don't work on Keith.

>>292983

>He became angry when discord fags offered to take a look at his CV to help make it better or do practice interviews. Almost livid with rage.

Can this be seen or heard anywhere?

>>292987

https://soundcloud.com/user-642341529/our-lord-speaketh

>>292995

Got a timestamp? I'm not listening to Jahans for two hours just to hear him sperg for five minutes.

>>292998

Not offhand, but it's kind of worth it. This is kind of worth it, Jahans is testy and bitchy and passive-aggressive, I think this was the "final" one.

>>292983

Obviously not, but that's related to him being a semi-conscious parrot. His true self is totally naked when he doesn't have prep time to skim the internet for witty and sarcastic posts made by left-wingers in internet arguments and pilfer snarky cracks from podcasts and YouTube clips.

And interviews like this >>292995 are a great example. Compare and contrast vloggage Jahans with Jahans unscripted and extemporaneous. It's not too much unlike striking up a random conversation with a wall-eyed freak on the bus.

>>292998

At 49 min in they start with the job search questions and Jahans gets all petulant.

>>292998

While listening, here are some highlights

The first thirty minutes is mainly just his fiction. If you have no interest in that you won't have much interest in this other than to hear the wind-up.

33:50

Jahans claims Theresa May is opposed to "human rights," reacts to pushback on this as expected.

48:56 - about 52:00

< this is the good part

> "How's the job search going?"

Jahans: [groan]

> Adam: "Have you had your CV checked?"

Jahans: "I think we better get off this subject because when you've blaaraagagaagga"

> Adam: "Do you worry a lot about your student debt?"

00:58:45

Jahans: "If you hate something, why do you watch it?"

> "But you hate ukippers?"

Jahans: "No I don't hate ukippers –"

> "Do you remember that video when you said 'by ballot or by bullet I will defeat UKIP?"

Jahans: "I'm thinking you're just… I'm not speaking to you anymore."

> Adam: "Do you want to move on Alex?"

Jahans: "Yeah… definitely… need to move on…"

01:10:00

Jahans: [babbling on about the multiverse]

> "So in in an infinite universe it's definitely possible. Like the hundred monkeys at a hundred typewriters."

Jahans: "I thought I said I wasn't talking to you."

01:24:45

> Adam: "What's on your bucket list? What do you want to accomplish before you die?"

Jahans: "I do not keep a bucket list because a bucket list says 'Once I complete this I can die!' Which isn't a good thing for someone with depression."

< goals aren't a good thing for someone with depression

< lol

01:28:30

> "Do you ever watch your dad's YouTube videos?"

Jahans: "You need to fuck off there m8."

> "What?"

Jahans: "I don't. talk. about. my. family."

> "Oh."

Jahans: "I thought you'd be kicked by now."

01:33:30

When Jahans was sad, Jahanists bought him tons of games on Steam. Which he played while professing himself scared about his trolls.

01:38:00

Jahans complains that Jahanists aren't sending him things from his Amazon Wish List despite that they said before they wanted to send him things.

01:43:00

He says he "accidentally" found 4chan by looking for depraved comics of his fetish. At 01:48:00 he's asked if he's ever thought about "unplugging from the internet," and in response sums up Jahanic Philosophy:

< "I already know what I believe and I don't need people arguing with me about it."

>>293014

That's honestly not at all uncommon, but most people will at least signal the lie that they're willing to debate and let their beliefs stand up to scrutiny. Jahans is too advanced in his exceptionalism to maintain that farce under pressure.

Quality video from Adam as usual. What struck me, and what I was surprised he didn't make more of, was how Jahans was already pining to cuck his "bf" with submissive blonde waifus in the same breath as extolling his love for him. I doubt this other autist was even aware Jahans was his 'boyfriend', he probably literally just asked for a fetish helper and Jahans invented the rest as backstory.

>>292792

This strikes me as a theme of a lot of autistic fiction like ASoIaF. Rather than invent characters, a plot, or seek to put forward a key theme or philosophy they just pick any random idea which appeals to them like 'weresharks', construct a storyline specifically to justify that thing and then slap it onto an ever-increasing canon. This is not wholly a bad thing. For imaginative writers with decent editors it can lead to strikingly detailed universes. But given Jahans' less than stellar writing skills and the fact this genre of storytelling has become so dominant today for him its not the case.

I've thought before that Jahans' fiction so perfectly embodies the absurdities and failings of commercialised Nerdom that if it was presented as satire it would hailed as a work of genius.

did any of you lads actually seek gordo out irl? He makes constant reference to being trolled and assailed by Nazi trolls who turn up on his doorstep and approach him in the street. I'm sure its exaggerated but what was the root of this incident? I cant imagine approaching Jahans. Just imagine running into him on a darkening evening…A huge, fat creature dressed in tattered reeking Dr Who clothes, his stench of sweat, squash and cum detectable some steps off, heaving and puffing and muttering to himself about sylphs and trolls.

>>293030

At one point someone approached him on the street, saying

>"You're Alexander Gordon Jahans, aren't you? I'm a big fan."

Jahans sperged out and fled. I can't say I blame the "fan", I would've done the same if I saw Jahans.

Also, the discord lads were a bit spergy with how they interacted with Jahans. They sent him some things, like a spider, I think.

>>293030

On /brit/ a while ago we found his location and people were joking about going to meet him. I don't think anything actually cmae of it, but then I haven't been on there in a while.

>>293044

> 19 stone

I believe that's 266 pounds for non-Bongs. Jahans is creeping up on the big 3-0-0.

>>293032

TRS listeners sent him some pizzas (even paid for at least one).

What is Jahans' ethnicity? He has an Indian surname and looks a little off (as does his sister), but he self-defines as white and his father obviously isn't fully Indian. Is he an Indian quadroon?

>>293054

He's "British". His paternal ancestors are light skinned Indians who have been consistently marrying white women for a few generations. There are some much more obviously Indian looking people in his extended family.

>>293069

The one drop rule is an American thing. "British" families tend to consider themselves as white as soon as they can pass.

>>293055

Do you think we could get him to do a DNA test?

>>293106

"Ugaragarg it duzzent efen mattah. DNA tests are awl bullshit bickers genetic engineerin' and cybernetics will make race obsolete when we're awl transhuman chads colonizin' the sun wiff the hivemind! It's pointless to take a genetics test of any koind in 2017!"

>>293069

>trying to curry favor

You cheeky cunt.

who decided to let walsall matt perform in schools

Another Jahans video talking about muh problems.

>>293192

he looks demented its barely any speaking its just a chorus of sighs and knee slapping and wheezing

>>293194

The most telling thing i've found is toward the end he goes off about Drumph and says "I half expect Donald Trump to literally eat a child alive on stage" at 56:12.

>>293195

I don't think he's every watched a single video recording or read a single written statement by Donald Trump that wasn't edited for satirical purposes or laden with opposition commentary. Never just looked at him as a primary source and drawn his own conclusions from a raw, fully contextualized example. Trump is just another character in his supremely fictionalized view of the world. He only matters as far as he can give Jahans something to pit himself against as the jaded intellectual gone depressed from understanding too much and helpless before the confederacy of Deutches aligned against him.

>>293192

well, that was not long before he made a vlog and there should've been a bickers count in the video.

The Farsh-nuke is Tyler Durden now.

I think he got really salty with adams video.

>>293227

that's why the sociopath theory started up.

>>293192

>fuck youtube, I'm killing all my vids so the trolls won't have their lolcow

>lol, I bet they miss me BUT THEY CAN'T HAVE ME!

>ok. let me make a video update on what has been going on since I wen't dark

>HAHA, I GOT RID OF THAT TOO! STUPID TROLLS THOUGHT I WAS COMING BACK!

>let me make another update video

When is he gonna finally admit that he's an attention whore? He could use it as an excuse like "I've been so alone the past 3 years, devoid of friends…." etc.

>>293234

we are the closet things Jahans has to friends

I've been thinking lately: when is it actually going to end for Jahans? What's going to happen to him? Keith has been forced to surrender. He has a constant supply of bennies for KFC and squash and skyrim. Even if Jahanism died out completely I can only imagine Jahans himself continuing to ramble on into the night as he did for many days before there were people to hear him. Short of a Eugenicist Coup de'etat in Britain stripping him of his benefits and euthanising him, there seems to be nothing stopping Jahans just carrying on forever, making three hour videos taunting an elderly Adam Godwinson and apologising to long-dead trannies, spinning out endless repetitions of the same fetish fiction. Will he just get too fat and die at the age of 30?

>>293192

Apparently his channel name is "Alasdair Jakes". That's a new one.

>~17 minutes:

<"Nobody cares about you [Jahans]. The only people who care about you are people so pathetic that they looked at the stupidity of Adolf Hitler and said 'That man who decided to screw himself over and let his bigotry cause his own causes to be undermined, that man is who we're going to aspire to.'"

On a side note: In what way did Hitler's bigotry cause his own downfall? Had he just stayed in Germany killing kikes he might not have lost. The war started because he tried to reconquer parts taken from Germany in WWI, which is inclusiveness not bigotry. Is he talking about invading the Soviet Union because of his bigotry against commies? Actually, America joined the war because of Germany's ally of Japan, so you could argue that if Hitler had been more bigoted, and refused to ally with the filthy japs, he might have made it.

>~21 minutes:

<"[Writing] is kind of like … you're squirting it out on the page"

This is certainly true in his case.

>>293243

I was thinking of something similar. We are living within a very narrow window of time when a creature like Jahans would even be allowed to reach adulthood. Societal and resource pressures would have lead to him to either die or be abandoned a long time before then not too long ago.

We are living in an even narrower window when he would be kept warm, fed (to obesity) and had leisure to do fuck all.

Will this window remain open forever? Or will genetic testing and acceptance of abortion lead to this being the last era for when a creature like Jahans would even be born? And if Jahans had the gift of genuine introspection rather than naval gazing and self-absorption, how would that make him feel?

> I've been thinking lately: when is it actually going to end for Jahans? What's going to happen to him?

Helen's boyfriend kicks him out. Or a new, more malignant sort of troll starts seriously fucking with him in terms of benefits fraud. He thinks he's dealt with them but even the spergiest discord sperg didn't do what trolls try to do to Chris on a daily basis.

>>293233

It's very obvious Jahans has some sort of Cluster B disorder (or heavily tends in that direction) but unless a psychologist gets a hold of a cooperative Gordo we'll never now.

>>293246

Marginal weirdos like have existed and lived in the past for a long time, they just hadn't the means to communicate their weirdness to potential massive amounts of people.

If Gordo lived before the advent of the internet his fiction might've been celebrated as "outsider art" if discovered.

>>293250

>If Gordo lived before the advent of the internet his fiction might've been celebrated as "outsider art" if discovered.

The thing is that its much harder to stand out as an outsider artist in literature than in visual arts or music. And besides I don't know if that alternate-timeline Jahans would publish stuff under his name. I think one of the reasons why he's so shameless is bickers there's thousands of other degenerates on deviantart, tumblr and so on, hes just another one.

>>293243

>He has a constant supply of bennies for KFC and squash and skyrim

This isn't a guaranteed supply of money. The Tories have made it much harder to stay on higher paying disability benefits indefinitely. Under Labour, once a person had passed the initial assessment, they were left on benefits with no checks. Now there is a reassessment every few years for both ESA and PIP. He is unlikely to get PIP and will probably loose the disability component of universal credit in the future. This could provide a potentially interesting scenario. In order to stay off JSA and avoid those nasty people at the jobcentre, Jahans could be forced into the idea of seeing a psychiatrist to get that all important medical evidence.

>>293260

>>293256

>>293252

>>293250

>>293246

The fascinating thing about Jahans and lolcows in general is precisely that imo. Being suddenly, by incredibly rare historical circumstances, able to witness the uninterrupted private outpourings of pure isolated autism. Knowing that you are just an accidental witness in a small window of time to mutterings that have gone on in the dark rooms of society for years before and will continue for years after.

Individuals vaguely like Jahans have always been referenced on the sidelines of history 'village idiots' etc. But they were straightjacketed (both figuratively and literally) by society and their families. We don't even need to go back that far. As early as 25 years ago someone like Jahans would've been forced to undergo medical treatment, get a job and be just another small-town creep in the shopping mall. However the internet basically allowed for every person with access to it to transmit the ideal identity of their self-conception onto a medium all are forced to recognise by interacting with it. And so gives indefinite fuel to the autist's every fantasy. Manchildren, men obsessed with children's cartoons, perverted fetishists, asocial weirdos and screeching nuttcases have always existed - the difference is that today all that they see themselves to be can be taken from the inside of their demented skulls and placed in a perfect safe space where, even if its only by a tiny tiny faction of people, it can be applauded and normalised. People like Chris and Jahans who grew up in a constant stream of pop culture now literally think they are Doctor Who or the Farsh-nuke.

To compare Jahans to autistic but genuinely ingenious artists and creators from the past is a complete overstatement though. He's deranged but he's not in any way intelligent nor creative. Autism is like Russian Roulette, their status depends entirely on what they happen to get obsessed with. If that happens to be Theoretical Physics or Abstract Art they get hailed as geniuses, but you can equally end up like Chris or Jahans and get obessed with Sonic the Hedgehog or Shark porn. To the autists there's no intellectual difference. Its

>>293270

> when you pull a date out of your arse and only tell me about it the day of

So he "forgot" or "misread the letter" again.

Adam was correct when he pointed out that the "mishaps" on his trip to the zoo were acts of deliberate sabotage.

>>293271

Right. Henry Darger worked menial labor his whole life. Had people known what he was writing… he still would have worked manual labor his whole life. A hundred years before that and Jahans would be a dirty peasant assistant killed as a lycanthrope or something.

And compare what Jahans does to Nicky in Louis Theroux's Autism documentary.

>>293277

And the world would have been a better place for it. Jahans would have been happier, too.

>>293250

Is there not a way to let the British government know he can't take care of himself and put a psychiatrist to check what is wrong with him mentally?

>>293277 (checked)

No arguments from here m8

>>293278

there is still time, when Jahans dresses up in a shark costume and kills an innocent girl so he can devour her. He will be sent to a mental institution and be heavily drugged up.

But something that I can't quite understand is that how bad was Jahans mom at her job? She must've seen some of the crazy that was around when she was a nurse or something.

>>293288

Both she and Keith were too busy.

I'm more curious about the other defining "traumatic" experiences he had as a kid (watching Jaws can't be the only one) that he won't tell us about.

>>293297

well. one could speculate but since what he as experienced as bullying is probably just regular banter from other kids.

What if the other traumatic thing that happen to him was regular older sibling teasing, or that when he was in the gym and was going to take a shower the other lads looked at his tic tocs and started to make fun of him because of it?

He might be a attention whore but he would've kept that a secret, when I'm thinking about it he has not really said anything onto what the bullies where bulling him for or teasing him?

>>293241

Does he not see the irony in him telling other people to "get a life" when hes a friendless virgin NEET who refuses to work and leeches off his parents and the goverment/

>>293297

This comes from Jahans, right? I question it, because as Adam has pointed out, he's virtually Lord of the Manor over at Casa Jahans. Fights happen among families, it's not that. I mean his freak out about his mother asking him to move a chair, demanding a ridiculous sum for it and then throwing a fit when she didn't give it to him. Also how he stayed off benefits for at LEAST a couple of years because he claimed it would make him commit suicide (he also told the police this during the famous confrontation when he tried to throw Keith out). We hashed this out before: he literally claimed that filing for Universal Credit would be the first step to killing himself, and refused to do so despite his mother asking for YEARS.

Can you imagine supporting your adult NEET son, you're retired, getting divorced, selling your home and he not only demands pocket money from you, but explains that getting free money from the gov will make him commit suicide and he can't get a job because automation will make him obsolete and somehow worse off later?

So, is it parental neglect as Jahans says? Maybe Becky was just self-willed and disciplined but she seems to have gone on the usual path of youth, school, uni, adulthood. If Jahans parents were so neglectful that they were too busy, didn't notice, etc, you'd expect she'd have 7 kids named Chukka Wumba and living on the dole herself or something. There doesn't seem to be any obvious signs.

Theory: I think Jahans has run the place and emotionally blackmailed all of them even before he was physically an intimidating presence. This would explain why Becky was literally afraid of him and also explains the escalating confrontations when Keith would call his bluff. It would also explain the oddity of Jahans claiming Keith – seemingly a nebbish, bookish retiree – blackmails him to tidy up or Keith will commit suicide. I doubt the latter happened, but Jahans tries to blackmail EVERYONE with threats of killing himself. We no longer take it seriously, but just think of how many suicide pleas he's made this year alone. He talks about it compulsively to his webcam and we know he's threatened them with it.

>>293313

So what do I think happened? Jahans made treatment or even diagnosis of many of his problems virtually impossible due to his severe emotional issues. We know he left school for a year, and university for a year too. Every time they tried to prod him toward the NHS he would throw such a fit that they would think twice about doing so again. I'm not sure about the UK but my school district required medical exams before secondary school (it was notorious among kids who were going through puberty at the time, because the doctor would check you for hernias). It is inconceivable to me that nobody mentioned that his voice didn't crack, his balls didn't drop, etc. These are medical issues known for hundreds of years and would be spotted in any sort of exam by any medical professional. I mean it'd be as absurd as a doctor not noticing a person with six fingers on a hand.

These aren't chav parents, either. I think they had one nice kid and their second turned out to be literally a demon spawn. And when he couldn't get his way by pouting, he got his way through threats of self-harm.

>>293314

>literally a demon spawn

This prompts me to raise a question that has been on my mind for a long time:

IF Jahans is evil, WHERE did this evil originate?

Is it just a perfect storm composed of all the factors that have been compiled here, or is it something else?

>>293351

One word: micropenis

>>293354

Not true because we've seen other people with the same condition as him on youtube who appear relatively normal. Though I suppose they could be less badly affected. Yes, it fucks up his shit, but there's more to it.

>>293354

According to wikipedia

<A small percentage of boys with KS/CHH will be born with micropenis (fewer than 5 to 10% of cases)

How unlucky. What I mean is that it all stems from his body, it's why people started bullying him long before they had actual reasons to hate him (like when he went full fedora anti-theist mode in school, for example). But I agree that fortunately, not all ugly people are like Jahans.

>>293364

What are you saying, that before puberty kicked in for the other kids he got along fine with everyone else? That's incredibly implausible and seems to be at odds with what we know of his early school days. If you blamed his autism that would make more sense, although having autism and then being bullied does not turn you into a sociopathic cannibal fetishist.

>>293367

>If you blamed his autism that would make more sense

It's a mix of his social ineptitude and physical appearance but I think the latter plays a much bigger role.

>cannibal fetish

Again, caused mainly bickers of the micropenis.

>>293372

So not his micropenis then, unless you are saying in his early school years everyone else somehow knew about it, when he and therefore his parents allegedly did not (according to him). His micropenis simply had nothing to do with his appearance at that time, yet he was already evil. The cannibal thing was established before puberty. Your theory, although reasonable, simply does not match up with the facts as we know them.

Later his micropenis obviously became a major factor but his evil clearly did not originate with it.

>>293367

Are we even sure that he is autistic in a strict clinical sense? He's probably just a selfish asshole.

NEW VIDEO WITH OFFICIAL GNP INTRO

>>293404

This is the third video since he stopped making videos?

Jahans is just dysfunctional. To be evil you need some understanding of Good which Jahans doesn't, he's just a socially retarded autist who refuses to live in a world other than his own fantaises. This, if anything, is the source of his "evil", everything else from the fetishes (many people have those fetishes) to his Kallman's related ailments could be, if not solved, mitigated if Jahans didn't insist they were entirely normal and everyone who asserted otherwise was a bullying hateful abusive Nazi racist.

His biological Kallman's syndrome undoubtedly did lead to him being fucked up beyond his own moral culpability though. I've speculated before that his whole sadist complex is about trying to come to terms with the fact his own body is highly feminine by projecting the resulting self-hatred onto actual women and perpetrating extreme violence against them. But you dont need to buy that theory to see how essentially being stuck in both mental age and physicality ten years behind his peers must have affected Jahans some how. Most autists are bullied in school. I don't think Jahans is lying when he says the bullying wasn't microdick related.

>>293390

Mishima himself fantasised about killing and eating people kek. I've often thought the same thing about trying to convince Jahans to read something other than shitty sci-fi for children. The reason his writing never improves is partly because it imitates exactly the same sources for over five years.

>>293436

I think that his autism is self-diagnosed. We know that

1) Jahans is an embellisher when it comes to his problems

2) His mother was too dismissive to bring him to the doctor even when he hadn't hit puberty even after the age of 20

3) He can't get autism bucks, and he tries getting on welfare with his Kallmann's

>>293443

I might've been misremembering the part about Helen. I'm a little biased against her because I think the only way NEETs get this far is because of an overprotective mother. It could be that it was Jahans that decided not to see a doctor. I mean he is literally choking on his own fat while sleeping now and he doesn't want to wear the mask.

>>293445

No, it's clear that Jahans says his parents were so neglectful that they never bothered or cared that he was obvious suffering from some disorder which turned out to be Kallmans. But Jahans lies, and I don't think that fits the profile of a woman who is endlessly indulging a 25 year old NEET who sponges off of her and becomes a violent psycho when he doesn't get his way. Why would she (a nurse no less) do this now but during allegedly happier times completely ignore her son's medical issues? We would also have to believe that he also never saw a doctor who noticed this.

We know he lies about Keith the Abusive Bully. Furthermore, if we choose to believe it, he says his sister also believes he lies about Keith the Abusive Bully and she would know better than almost anyone. This portion of Adam's Holiday video is what he actually thinks of his mother and how he reacts to a completely understandable statement of hers about him making the slightest effort to pull his own weight. (Start at 2:02.) Videos like this are a gift because Jahans' outrage is so over the top, so dripping with entitlement and so completely out of place that it makes him look terrible and throws into question his narration of everything about her.

Brain damage from an early age certainly sounds plausible. It also seems as if Jahans is unable to feel shame. The first instance of this is when he farted at school and didn't mind offending people in that way.

Or do you guys know of any instance when he seemed as if he was ashamed of something about himself? Or anything for that matter?

>>293447

He was ashamed of his tits. If you mean ashamed of his behavior I don't think so.

>>293454

but he stuck them in everybodies face lol…

Yeah I meant, whether he is capable of feeling guilt about the mess his life is and his menace towards other people. I wonder if it gets through to him at all.

>>293446

>Why would she (a nurse no less) do this now but during allegedly happier times completely ignore her son's medical issues?

I think that some mothers are blind to the faults and quirks of their sons. it may be that Helen didn't want to acknowledge that her son has problems. Just like when a parent doesn't know that their son is gay, despite it being apparent right when you meet a gay. I doubt Helen understands the severity of her sons overall condition, even now.

Yes, Jahans is a manipulative liar who can and will push his parents around (both physically and emotionally). He has no one to blame for his shitty lot in life but his own lazy and self-important self. But he wasn't always like that, some big parenting failures have had to happen to bring him where he is now.

>>293480

Well, either scenario Helen comes out badly. She either let herself get bossed out by a 15 year old who hasnt reached puberty, or she neglected his condition. And what about Keith in all this? I just find it very weird that it took a cabal of internet nazi trolls to diagnose an obvious hormone problem.

I guess you can chalk it up to how old keith and helen are, but it doesn't sit right.

>>293560

Jahans desperately wants to be associated with sterling in any possible way so Jahans vs Walsallmatt.

>>293560

the chad black adam

Based titty cow.

FEELING BETTER *still recovering-nuke*

https://farsh-nuke.blogspot.com/2017/11/feeling-better.html

>>293679

95% of everything jahans says is just vague droning about emotional revelations, about trauma, terror, setbacks, acceptance, getting over it and moving forward etc etc.

i'm pretty sure it's just nonsense to hide the fact he enjoys being a giant slug of a human who leeches off those close to him, so he can listen to podcasts, eat mints and play skyrim every day forever

>>293679

> I am giving up the diet coke

> slowly and it feels good. It feels right and true.

Alex Jahans: such a pussy he has to "ween" himself off of Diet Coke.

> the most profound change though is that I got my hair cut today

Imagine you live in a world where the most "profound" thing to happen to you is something that most men regard as basic maintenance. Imagine that this is a revelatory experience.

>>293971

Does that mean Jahans is going to get a Job now?

>>293975

Probably cooking tendies. If he can resist eating them all.

>>293975

Probably not. Jahans is voinv to be fucked when his parents decide to stop supporting him tbh.

>>293971

If he's been declared fit for work, he has lost the £318 a month for the disability component of universal credit. He will also have to back to the jobcentre for interviews and work related activity.

>>293679

>I’m not getting misgendered anymore

That's something.

Is he telling the truth about having nightmares? I always get the feeling he's making it up because of the vagueness. I do believe his "cacophony" is real though (when he's awake). That's simply flare ups of self hate, anger and resentment when remembering various events in his life. He said he has or might have sleep apnoea and hinted at using a CPAP machine although he is not clear. Sometimes fat people don't dream / have nightmares because the quality of their sleep is too low so that adds to my suspicion.

>>293763

He revealed a while ago he's been following "spoon theory" by using their terminology. He has no doubt read many accounts of "spoonies" battling to overcome basic obstacles and decided to do the same thing. Some of those accounts will be from people with legitimate disabilities for whom daily life really is a struggle, others will be posers and malingerers like him. He can't get a job if he's struggling to survive but at the same he can show he's making a real effort by jumping over these artificial hurdles. That's how he thinks it worse in his mind.

>>293971

But unfortunately as we see here no one else is fooled.

>>293982

An important lesson here. Whenever you see some complain about the benefits system think back to Jahans. He certainly doesn't deserve the money. How many others are just like him?

>>293983

i just glanced at that "spoon theory" stuff and it fits very well with his "big job" autistic allocation of units, wherein he can just about manage to have a shower and shit his pants and do nothing else the rest of the day.

this isn't the first time he has said he's slowly improving though. before he was nurturing a small, growing income from youtube. he was going on longer and longer walks to get healthier. he was curling his dumbbell over and over to get a bit fitter. i don't expect that in a few months he'll be proudly saying he's worked down from coke, ginger beer and squash to drinking normal water

>>294001

Jahans has fallen into a familiar trap that comes from a machine model of humans. That you have a limited amount of "fuel" to carry out a limited amount of tasks and beyond that you approach the ultimate horror: collapse. Jahans often uses these metaphors, that his brain needs to be "rebooted" and that it "crashed," etc.

In reality, human bodies maintain massive batteries of energy that can be burned when they run out of "fuel." Jahans has a big enough battery for 3 or 4 men at his current state of obesity.

The first thing that goes when you live a cloistered NEET existence is the notion of life challenging you. When you're driving home from work and you get a flat tire, you can't plea that you have no more spoons left: you swear and you fix the fucking tire. It's insidious, it's why NEETs like Jahans are always pleading that they have some kind of "sleep disorder" that makes it impossible for them to wake up early.

>>294010

That's a rather autistic and inhumane interpretation of the ideas behind the spoon theory. "Energy" is simply another metaphor. The truth is that every move is painful when you are suffering from chronic pain, and every action is exhausting when you suffer depression.

I assume you never experienced true exhaustion, from sports, military training, a survival situation, or illness because otherwise you'd know that that tire simply would not get fixed. You can not fix a tire in a situation where standing upright is a challenge. No matter how much you want it. No matter what the consequences will be. It just won't happen. There is a point where exhaustion overcomes every instinct and intention. And people with certain chronic illnesses live very, very close to this point.

Mind you, most of them don't brag about it, like Jahans does, and rather try to hide their condition from other people.

>>294001

>have a shower and shit his pants

I mean if he has to do that at least do it the other way round.

>>294010

Spoon theory makes more sense when applied to chronically ill people. You're absolutely right that an average person can function for a long time without food and still effectively find more. The way modern humans live eating multiple times a day is arguably highly unusual for a carnivorous mammal. Jahans and the obese generally are much closer to grazing animals like cows and it really damages their health.

In my opinion Jahans probably does have sleep disorder. Not only is he obese but his entire palette area is completely fucked up. If he had a decent sleep schedule however it would be considerably eased. If he lost weight it could disappear.

>>294015

Hold on lad, that anon is talking about Jahans. Legitimately chronically ill people don't play skyrim and jerk off for twenty hours straight. That's what Jahans is spending his "spoons" on. Spoon theory was supposed to help the rest of us understand the struggles of the chronically ill but here it's Jahans who is autistically and quite cynically using it as a framework of excuses.

I'm just getting back into Jahanist doctrine after a lapse. Is there any archive of his videos up anywhere? I have the "Why I Like Vore" video in storage because I wanted to use it in a ytp, and I'll upload it somewhere if no one else has already.

>>294018

That's true most of the time but Jahans does have significant craniofacial defects. Could his symptoms be considerably alleviated? Yes, but a doctor did prescribe him a CPAP machine, or at least that what it sounded like from his description.

>>294018

You have not, because otherwise you knew that it would not. There is a difference between feeling a little bit tired, and drowning because you can not swim anymore. It's less unpleasant than freezing, but I can't recommend either of them.

>>294020

> no true Exhaust-man

You obviously have something invested in this and feel I've somehow attacked you, I'm sorry for that but you simply know as little about me as I do of you.

>>294019

True but there is also a correlation between (obstructive) sleep apnea and obesity: it's becoming an increasingly common diagnosis as people grow fatter. I knew a couple of people who had the machine for a test, one had blown his septum out with cocaine and the other was gigantic.

https://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/sleep-apnea/obstructive-sleep-apnea-causes#1

>>294027

Yes I made that point here >>294016 and I think in previous posts. Jahans has that unfortunate double whammy of issues. Well triple whammy, because of his bizarre sleeping patterns too. Maybe if he has a really bad health scare it will shock him out of it but otherwise he's absolutely destroying his health.

>>294027

Calling me a carefag won't change reality.

>>294034

You're definitely some kind of fag.

>>294015

>You can not fix a tire in a situation where standing upright is a challenge. No matter how much you want it. No matter what the consequences will be. It just won't happen. There is a point where exhaustion overcomes every instinct and intention. And people with certain chronic illnesses live very, very close to this point.

You'd be surprised at how chronically ill people cope in desperate situations. I suffer from severe chronic pained caused by nerve damage. While I do struggle with every day tasks such as cooking and keeping my apartment clean, in desperate situations I seem to manage. The adrenaline kicks in and overcomes the usual pain and weakness. It's the time needed for recovery afterwards that's more of an issue, with increased pain, tiredness and weakness. I've always understood this as the reason as to why chronically ill people are given welfare. It's not the job itself, it's the need to rest and recover afterwards. Expecting someone who is chronically ill to hold down a job is neither fair on the employee or the employer.

The difference with Jahans is that most of his illness is in his mind not his body. Being able to participate in society and maintain relationships with people goes a long way in helping to deal with illness. Jahans intentionally isolates himself and turns communicating with his family into a confrontation.

wait I thought that Jahans gets painkillers or was that just a ruse? Because if he gets painkillers the most common to give someone is because it's only retards that actually tries to get high on them. Is tramadol, some of it has to do with how unpleasant it can become. Since it's more throwing up then you're usual opiate high.

>>294044

According to a post here, it was over the counter pills. >>270579

>>294048

Whoops, wrong link

>>273133

>>294050

then it's paracetamol but in the UK they do have paracetamol with 10 to 15mg codeine. So he could've been using those or just paracetamol and ibuprofen or voltaren.

those are the over the counter pain medication I can think about.

>>294019

> significant craniofacial defects.

He's got a tiny liile mouth that talks a lot of big shit.

>>294041

For whatever ailment Jahans claims to have on any given day, I've no doubt there are thousand of employed, independent individuals with it. Hell, most of the people employed at Walmart (or Tesco or whatever they have there) are probably just as fat as him.

>>294055

If he was high on painkillers this whole time, I doubt we'd see this much anger, irritation, and prolific output of videos/blogs. He'd keep to himself much more.

If he's trying to troll over the counter shit…then his life expectancy's even shorter than we thought.

>>293299

Jahans apparently considering everything other children did that he didn't like or understand to be bullying him. Black Adam mentioned that when he interviewed Jahans over his decision to quit school, Jahans recounted it was bickers he didn't think the staff took the issue of his harassment seriously enough.

What happened was that Jahans complained multiple times to the school administration staff (dunno how British schools are organized) and told them he was being constantly persecuted. The staff gave him a notebook, not a little sticky pad but a nice thick one like one would purchase for a class/module, and told him to write down how he thought he was being bullied so they could sit down with him and review solutions. By the end of the first week, Jahans had completely filled it with alleged offenses. When the staff didn't know what to make of this, Jahans decided that was the last school. A little while later, he just walked out of class and never went back to school.

the point is Jahans doesn't have chronic pain or depression and so applying these metaphors to him is futile. He's a NEET who, like all NEETs, apply the fundamental human urge to find problems to trivial domestic issues. There has been absolutely no change to his concrete circumstances for 3 years now. He just thinks minor things like going to the toilet constitute a seminal event in the Codex Jahanica.

I have long waited for the day Jahans would inevitably fail to collect his bennies. I predicted it would occur after the cocks drought of the summer. There's nectar ahead boys.

>>293553

>>293554

Yeah, I think it's rather clear that Helen and Keith have mostly been pushovers when it matters. Keith might talk straight with Jahans every now and then but he didn't roll up his sleeves and get disciplinary at when it mattered. I'm not saying that I expected him to just haul off and beat the stupid out of Jahans, but to do what most fathers try when waiting it out isn't working.

It's true that you see this very often with NEETs, and the approach Helen and Keith had with Jahans reminds me of how Japanese parents let their offspring go hikkikomori without a fight. I watched a documentary on it once where an American psychologist was called in to study the problem and expressed his frustration with the passivity of the parents: "If my son locked himself in his room for a solid week, that damn door is getting knocked down." Similarly, if my kid just walked out of school one day (in his last year of it no less) and told me he just decided to give up and never go back, I wouldn't shrug my shoulders and think about something else.

>>294129

School as in University? Or school as in Whatever the English call High school?

>>294155

He did it for both!

>>294187

>mundane

has jahans been lurking /fringe/ is Jahanism even more esoteric than we thought?

>>294079

Yes, exactly. Jahans is really taking the piss claiming to have it as bad as people with real chronic conditions.

>>294164

Will add both incidents to the JAHANSFACTS. I don't know anything about the university incident though.

>>294187

>mundane

>common; ordinary; banal; unimaginative

I love the fact that Jahans implies not being able to stand, stick to a schedule, talk to people or being able to deal with stress is therefore exciting and unique in contrast.

He's also competing against immigrants, especially in the low pay arena, which he's careful not to say of course. Data entry is something he could do (if he turned up). When he's putting in some effort rather than jerking off his typing and English skills seem good enough to be useful. He's also quite capable of packing if he can sit down most of the time, which is something many companies will accommodate. If he can't walk why not use a wheelchair?

The benefits people have probably said this.

>>294187

>can't be on their feet for pro longed (sic) periods of time, can't handle talking to people during stressful situations or for long periods of tie (sic) and can't be sure what hours they'll be awake tomorrow never mind be able to regularly work set hours can do?

As always, can't = won't. Jahans doesn't have any medical problem with standing, isn't (so) autistic that he can't actually understand people; if he does have a steep problem then it's entirely self-inflicted from his NEET lifestyle and could be fixed by discipline.

How does he have any idea about the job situation if he never even applies for jobs? I live in a similar area to Jahans and see cafes/restaurants with vacancies everywhere.

>>294208

Jahans is just a liar lads .

>>294187

>>294209

> can't be sure what hours they'll be awake tomorrow

Yup, the "sleep disorder" of NEETism.

>>294018

>>294225

Can confirm. When I was NEET for a gap year between college and professional school, one of the first things that went was a regular sleep schedule. I had a pretty rough first month bickers it took me a month to nail down a consistent sleep pattern and relearn time management from there.

It's nice while it lasts or if you're self employed and can set your own hours without letting yourself just doze for 10+ hours. Every time I see image board posts from NEETs finally forced into wage work I can usually count on reading complaints of the inhuman torture of waking up to the sound of an alarm clock instead of "sleeping when needed like our bodies were made by nature to do!"

surprised this hasn't been poasted many good points

Adam if you're reading this Sargon can't be allowed to get anywhere near Esoteric Jahanism. He has one of the cringiest fanbases on the internet. Its good as it is in small hermetic elite who can interpret the musings of the prophet.

I did'nt know Jahans' hamster was a gift/bribe from his school to stop being an autist and given its later sexual prominence that evolved directly into sylphs this has huge importance as arguably *the* start-point for Jahans' descent into darkness. He was given a clearly highly pleasurable reward for malicious behaviour. It call comes together now imo. For some irrational reason Jahans was sexually aroused by the small, warm hamster. From that day onwards his premature brain associated sexual arousal with rule-breaking and egotism.

>>294245

<deleted

fuck you adam

>>294262

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-i9E6ixE3k

>>294245

I'm not sure what you're referring to there but Adam's well aware of Sargon's autistic acolytes. On his old channel he had a video making fun of a bunch of "kekistani" manbabbies invading a children's playground and making it so children couldn't use it while they sperged about with flags and toys.

>>294269

He makes a good point near the end about Gordo's inherent femininity. What if that is the reason why he's so good at lying and manipulating? Women are naturally talented at that so it makes sense.

>>294245

>>294258

Yeah, bandwagonning faggot Sargon doesn't need to get his hands on this. People will come to Jahans' defense just to spite him. We don't need that.

>>294281

Adam said Sargon knows of Jahans and was once close to making a video on him.

>>294305

The funny thing is knowing Sargon's fanbase I honestly think many of them would sympathise with Jahans as a regulated capitalist and turn him into some kind of ironic (unironic) symbol of their movement like they did with le keek. I can see it now, Wait, this guy says he's a regulated capitalist fucking based like us, Lets piss off those /pol/tards by saving him from the Nazi trolls!!!, BASED JAHANS PLEASE STOP TROLLING BRITBONG, HIS PARENTS ARE BEATING HIM AND HE WON'T STOP SCREAMING AT US IN DISCORDS NAZIS. Furthermore the endorphine boost the sudden surge in (You)s would give Jahans would empower him. It would be like when goons suddenly started white-knighting for chris-chan after he transitioned. The more I think about this the more it seems obvious this is the 'best ending' for Gordo.

>>294343

But the difference is that CWC was always on the whole just a village idiot who was shared with the internet. The goons could at least argue "Well at least he isn't WAYCIS and xphobic anymore, so leave the poor fool alone," and feel consistent in their values. Jahans will never be anything more than a vitriolic retard at this point. You can't adopt him as a symbol of a movement even ironically and keep from looking bad. And as stupid as Jahans is, I don't think he'd just blithely accept being adopted by kekistanis as a pet lolcow with grace and good humor; it'd wound his ego. He'd probably chimp at them for being crypto-fascists and it would just be like some bastardized cargo cult version of Esoteric Jahanism 1.0

>>294296

there was but now it's removed

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-if-z1DM88s

>>294349

The people who watch Sargon vids obsessively enough to actually research their subjects aren't that deep into internet culture though. They want to be. Which is why they make forced memes. They certainly don't care about 'looking bad'. And would not be put off by Jahans' constant sperging at them anymore than we are (Jahans would consider them Nazis as well ofc). It would just be drowned out in a chorus of BASED JAHANS.

It would be like when we initially discovered him there was an attempt to 'redpill' Jahans. Except it would never go away. Because whereas we learn to eventually admit Jahans cannot be saved, most people would just start apologising for his behaviour and forgetting the original purpose of saving him.

Of course Jahanism isn't a secrit club and will inevitable expand its just preferable that if it were to expand it doesn't expand into the Sargon fandom.

>>294516

>Don't agree with this because most people tend to get offended when their "help" is rebuffed.

This. Also why would anyone defend Jahans? SJWs want to pretend he doesn't exist and he is of no use to other people bickers he's not popular enough.

>>294543

People who don't know anything feel sorry for Jahans about as long as it takes to read 1 blog post from him. His squeals of indignant rage when his mother was no longer interested in giving him money are worse than any reeeing about tendies.

I can't really explain it, but nobody sympathized with that outside of some robot memelords. It's a visceral reaction, like the uncanny valley or revulsion toward a dead body. It probably comes from the same primal source: carrying around dead weight like Jahans = death.

F R E S H J A K E S

F R E S H T H R E A D S

>>294620

> be dietitian

> tell people to take calcium and keep existing off processed shit with zero exercise

I don't know how dietitians are licensed but I assume the one to say this to a 25 year old man who weighs 260 pounds and was referred by an endocrinologist would lose theirs.

>>294642

I've heard that in the dieticians are associated with a lot of quackery in Europe, but I'm also more inclined to just believe that Jahans is telling lies again.

>>294620

no i definitely think a dietitian told a morbidly obese man "there's nothing he can really do" about his weight

more likely jahans listed off his multitude of excuses, kallmann syndrome, insomnia, hormone issues, literally can't stand up without pain, extreme stress, and the dietitian realised they were talking to a scrounger who has no intention of doing anything beyond living like a mollusc. so they said fuck it, he has no intention to really tackle his lifestyle

>>294658

Also, his doctor told him to start dieting and exercising before. That was when he started "dieting" and wrote his infamous post about his cravings for flesh and meat. A dietician really overruled a GP?

It really is pretty funny to think of the massive expense the British taxpayer is paying for Jahans. Even aside from his T injections, he sees more doctors than elderly post-stroke patients I know, and most of it seems to be a game where he treats whatever they say with contempt should it threaten even a little the perpetuation of his lifestyle.

Also, this popped up in my subs, a podcast with Adam from one of the Jahanist video creators.

>>294660

lol the subtext of everyone being irritated by the Yank in this is great.

> babbles on about Varg and other shit nobody cares about at length

"So… what were you saying, Adam?"

>>294660

Adam is good value when he goes on these streams. It always sounds as though he's done his homework and never gives a weak answer. The problem is that he tends to over power everyone to the point that it a multiperson stream just becomes Adam doing his speil. I like to hear him talk about Jahans as he has a good way of presenting him as just an outright monster but I often ask myself whether it is healthy to have an expertise on Gordo.

>>294662

The artworks that you produce are amazing. We are lucky to have your talents as Esoteric Jahanists.

>>294665

>Adam please talk to us, we are waiting on every word you say

This is what I don't like. Adam is just another Britpol lad yet these fags (and others who have heard him speak to) treat Adam like a little king. It really gets on my nerves. Adam basically regurgitates everything he reads on Britpol and the Torygraph but these people think that what he is spewing is some profound new thought.

Yet again I am left in a quandary of finding Adam a charismatic video maker but hating the beta sycophants that orbit him.

His latest video covers the HARVESTED news with an examination of a clearly bullshit sexual assault allegation in the second part and it IS actually a good video. But then I scroll down to the comments and it's a fucking echo chamber sucking Adam's dick.

https://farsh-nuke.blogspot.co.uk/2017/12/acceptance.html

FRESH BLOGGAGE: ACCEPTANCE

its another

>surviving

episode

>>294683

He's a fucking drama queen. He thinks life is one of his fictions and he is the main character.

>>294660

Spreading the word is good but a stream/podcast of people already interested in Jahans would be much more entertaining.

>>294683

>So yeah, if the people threatening to kill me or torture me or whatever the fuck could just stop fucking screaming and let me get my strength back, of course I’ll try to get back in the job market, if only for something to fucking do.

see if it weren't for the stress of the trolls causing jahans to crash into slumber he'd be on 40 hours a week right now. definitely

>>294687

The last five bloggages have just been Jahans talking about how he's slowly recovering from the trauma of being a NEET its repetitive even by his standards

>>294705

Some monks and hermits have reported the way that time begins operating on a different scale after years of isolation. The passage of the sun and the moon becoming almost like the second hand of a great click, is how I've seen it described.

Jahans has attained this nirvanic state in NEETdom. Jahans has escaped time. Days, weeks pass by without anything notable, some days he awakens in the dark and fall asleep in the dark and that jolt of being unclear of whether it's 6am or 6pm when you and I awaken from a nap is part of his satori.

The only downside is that every day is the same, every blank page is filled with exactly the same words, he lives in a terminally mundane version of Groundhog Day. Today he wrote 20,000 words of a new "fic" that is completely indistinguishable from the 20,000 words he wrote yesterday. Or was that last week? Or is it tomorrow?

>>294711

>second hand of a great

*clock

>>294711

Well, it seems like an awesome thing being in a nirvanic state of NEETdom. But would that not mean he has no debts and gets benefits?

>>294725

Jahans is just a fucking turd. All NEETs should be shot on sight. Parasites.

>>294711

This is a very accurate description of NEETdom. It should probably be incorporated into the Jahanic Dogma.

>>294731

you seem quite sensitive.

>>294824

how is he going to survive? is it a suicide attempt by Jahans?

>>294824

>spoons

so Jahans is officially reading this thread

Is there a link to the story he wrote about Laura K Dale, or the incident when he handed it to her?

Or anything relating to that specific incident at all?

Pls share it thanks

>>294844

Adam went through everything in this video.

>>294844

> link to the story he wrote about Laura K Dale

http://farsh-nuke.blogspot.com/2015/08/laura-queen-of-earth.html

http://archive.is/yi4rY

>>294824

reading requires spoons? fucking hell

>>294949

any mirrors of those audiobooks?

NEW JAHANS ON SOME DOCTOR WHO SHIT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdtKwyeltIg

NEW ADAM ON JAHANS MUKBANG

(embedding this one)

>>295146

it took him 3min and 31 seconds to start it.

Also he does not really review the book either its rather a rambling series that happens to be a book review.

Also he is rambling about nazis 12min inn and he brings up he was trolled by the nazis, and he does not really say why that was important to bring up, which is strange.

16:43 min inn he says literally one should watch a review or listen to a podcast about a review.

I'm so confused. Sorry famlams but shit was hard to go trough it was just rambling and tid bits of random information I could not really understand what was going on.

>>295175

yes, we did chose this life some came here for lulz and other for documentation and archiving others came here for there is not really anything to do,

>>295179

He is probably lurking here most are even tough we are really small.

How the fuck did the /cow/ board get to be so known?

>>295182

>How the fuck did the /cow/ board get to be so known?

"8chan- they're a different breed.

>>295198

I wish he would make a video about 8chan and what he meant by that >>256578 (first webm)

How much time left until his bennies run out if he's getting kicked off Universal Credit?

>>295179

He gave a shout out to 8chan fairly recently, I believe his comment was "I am also now being s.talked by 8chan as well as 4chan."

I actually think that comment is directed toward Adam. Jahans is mad that he deleted (well, privated) every video of him acting like a jagoff and Adam still has them all.

>>295203

Sci-fi/body horror

>>295097

cheers m8 i'm ready to drop a few iq points

>>297388

i'm almost certain he's said in the past one of the reasons he's so open is that there's no way to keep secrets in the current year with the internet. which of course would mean there's no point in him trying to take videos down, and also makes me wonder why he was so upset by adam's videos. all adam did was present information jahans gave willingly

Christmas Turkey Audio Book

A quest to find a suitable turkey for Christmas dinner brings unexpected results. A 7½ minute festive story read by the author (Keith).

>>297411

that's a fair point.

The problem Jahans has is that he is dramatizing all the time, he seems like a pathological liar in some cases but which cases is it?

For now the new lie is that he is not the Farsh-nuke since he is the Farsh-nuke, and it did not take a genius to figure that out, it only took speculation and later conformation when he says he is not the Farsh-nuke. But there is long way until there is new nectar gentlemen, let's have some pure unadulterated nectar from Keith >>297412

My anger is gone

https://farsh-nuke.blogspot.co.uk/2017/12/8-10-17.html

Jahans is surviving, he's survived, he's scraping along, he's wrestling with his demons, etc. etc.

Some bits about his "reworked" fiction he's been "reworking" for more than 10 years if any of you readfags care.

>>297493

could you draw a syringe into a pic that looks like a rapeface?

Live stream just popped up on Adam's channel called "Jahans Lore Discussion" and scheduled to start in a few minutes.

>>297505

Apparently live at a different link.

>>297510

This is kino. This is why Adam exists to provide Esoteric Jahanism with autism like this

based weird accent man

>>297530

This was a very good broadcast.

>>297510

>adam had a friendly conversation with jahans irl

Is he bullshiting? Does this mean that Gordo's anger at the trolls was always an act? Are Adam and the prophet secretly working together and promoting each other?

>>297633

interesting idea but how could he hold it in when it came to Adam?

Was it because Jahans thought that Adams voice was cute or Tranny enough to be buttsex buddies?

jobless jahans reviews what i can only assume is a children's book and reiterates that he is NOT the farsh nuke. i also just noticed his twitter username is "Not the Farsh-nuke. Just his writer.". i assume this in response to the recent chat where everyone agreed jahans is clearly the great farsh nuke in the flesh

>>297699

Another snug jumper video. Adam's theory that Helen has gone on holiday and the heating has run out is starting to seem more credible…

>>297493

>Perhaps he will present a cure for being black just as he did with the trannies.

Now THAT would be nectar.

>>297681

he will say or parrot that he is only the Farsh-nuke/Farshnuke writer until he believes we don't believe he is the Farsh-nuke/Farshnuke so lets say if Adam says he is not the farshnuke and we also stop with it(even if he is the fatshnuke and it's a matter of fact) he might want to create more farshnuke multiverse fiction but with a reboot of the farshnuke maybe a soft reboot? Either way it's going to be really fucked up, even if it becomes somewhat vanila for him.

>>297700

when did Adam state this theory?

>>297681

>comfy jumper

>old opening lines are back

CHAD JAHANS BACK ON TRACK