I've been my own catuchemen for perhaps close to 3 years now, and I've been to slothful and lazy in my efforts to progress. I've been postponing going out to visit my local parishes out of cowardice, secular distractions, etcetera and have made actually by now multiple threads detailing my going out and nearing attending them, once I went to the only orthodox parish near to me where I can speak the language, and talked with the father there. He incinuated me to come every sunday but I lived far away, didn't have the money to commute etc and didn't go again. I am unbaptized, I've never confessed, and I've got very weighty sins on me. I've continued to sin up to this very day in a manner you can guess - but when I say weighty I mean it. It's easy to say now, I want to get baptized, I'll do anything, but of course, I've not exactly proven so in the time granted to me… and now, of course, they're closed.
I've ordered some notebooks to copy set prayers and hymns to read over a candle at night, I'll read my bible tonight, and I've yet to start following lent, but other than that, I've had my back on our Lord all this time, and only now do I want to return. I am sorry for stealing at your time with my blogpost, anons, but I would like to know - what would you do? Would you seek to arrange a private baptism? I can't just go to the parish, it is closed… I need advice, brothers. May we all have your prayers, and might you pray for my mother, who is not feeling well. God bless you