/christian/ - Christian Discussion and Fellowship

>>829641

>A woman is like a flower that grows towards God. A man is more like a stick.

This is the worst analogy I've ever seen in my entire life.

>>829689

You are not welcome here if you cannot discuss like a Christian. How would you feel if someone said that about your analogy.

Thanks for the new thread OP. I've been doing extremely poor lately… I've fallen into a cycle of fapping to porn 1-2 times a day for the past two weeks and I don't get the slightest hint of enjoyment out of it. It's an incredibly vicious cycle, eating at me both physically and mentally… Chief among the side effects is how I'm growing paranoid over how others (especially women) perceive me and thus I want to avoid people for that reason, when normally I'm relatively relaxed and confident. Starting now I'm going to put far greater effort into quitting… it's driving me nuts at this point.

How does the above tie into relationships? A conservative guy from work seems to have a good impression of me because he wants to introduce me to his daughter, who's my age. He ran it by her and she's interested. Supposedly she's an introverted bookworm who's never dated before, nor have I, so that should be motivation enough for me to get my act together. Dunno what her religious beliefs are, but I did some digging and much of her mother's side is Catholic. If she isn't, I hope to ease her into the faith.

>>829689

Made me reply/10

>>829714

I'd say get rid of the porn addiction before dating. You must learn what chastity is. I'm struggling with this too but I don't watch porn anymore, and I wish I didn't start dating a girl earlier this year, because I was not ready. I you find it too hard, talk to someone about it. It can be a friend or a psychologist. This is a serious issue, don't take it lightly; don't be too hard on yourself either, because this isn't something you can change in one day, like any addiction. Focus on the progress.

>>829720

>get rid of the porn addiction before dating

Yes, that would be the ideal thing to do, wouldn't it? If what my priests say is correct, lust is always something that will plague me and I'll never be free of these temptations. I'm going to strive for better control over them and go from there… I've broken the daily relapse cycle and have been free of porn and fapping for three days, so it's a start.

>talk to … a friend

Kek. I don't have friends at this point, just acquaintances. The only Catholics I know are Boomers who cannot relate, and as for non-Catholics, I tried having an accountability partner before and he went around telling people about my addiction, kept saying I'd burn in Hell and, whenever I asked him about his progress, he either became incredibly hostile or tried justifying his use of porn. The guy proudly mentioned his Jewish DNA on a few occassions, which would help to explain his arrogant, control freak attitude.

>psychologist

While I'm not living paycheck to paycheck, I couldn't justify the cost of that.

>>829812

>Asked her if it was a date

Dude, don't do this. She will lose attraction immediately.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdkrX2OwCdU

>What does God want from me?

Better question, what do YOU want from these girls? Do you want to make them your gf? If you want sex there are cheaper ways tbh. It is my belief that a christian guy should look for a christian woman to marry, and live a chaste life before marriage. Are these women you talk to christians? Are you willing to marry them and have kids with them?

>>829826

> I don't have friends at this point, just acquaintances

Well you should start from here then. What you probably need right now is friends, not a girl.

>Jewish DNA

Everytime

>>829834

>Seems like an arcane custom. Is semen retention that instrumental in motivating people?

Anon you're missing the point. Masturbation or pre marital sex is a sin.

Matthew 5:28 "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

>I don't plan on starting a family yet

Then why are you pursuing girls? For sex? Self gratification of some sort?

>>829830

>I feel like it's all God's fault because He could change this like He's done for others- then I wouldn't have to react so adversely.

Luke 12:48 "But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked."

Why do you think you should have it as easy as other people? Why do other people suffer much more than you do? Don't compare yourself to others, I've done it for years and it's childish and leads to more suffering. God didn't create us all equal and you need to embrace this fact. Also, don't you think your unhappiness is the direct result of you turning your back to God? Maybe this is a sign that you shouldn't try so hard to seek girls, but seek God instead.

Peace bro

>>829830

OK so I know this a little bit. Long story short, I had gone from being surrounded with friends to no one. I wanted a girlfriend, but didn't have one. I struggled with time with God and masturbated a lot. I had no hope and no prospects. But eventually I got out of it and was worshiping God, studying the Bible and led a crusade in Africa.

The best advice I can give is, when you're not feeling anything, pour out to God and be silent and listen to him. He cares for you abs wants to help you. We all go through the mud from time to time, so don't feel bad, keep your eyes on him and tell him everything.

I'm in a relationship. I really like the dynamic of the relationship with my gf, but she's a pro-abortion feminist. She's been radicalized by modernity and sometimes I feel a bit anguish when I see her throw herself for a career, but she does like me and wants stability but I'm struggling to go forward because of this main issue. She's also very into degenerate stuff like drag race and stuff like that. I don't want to drop the relationship right out the window because of these things, but I'm trying to seek guidance, because I know that I won't be successful into changing her views on these things. Maybe it is possible, but I don't see anything else but to pray for her. Does anyone found themselves on this kind of situation?

>>829980

>pro-abortion

>feminist

>into degenerate stuff like drag race

Drag races are based but you probably mean the trannies

>I know that I won't be successful into changing her views on these things

Dump immediately. Would you really want someone like that as a mother of your kids?

I am in my 20's and I am ex-muslim,

before when I was muslim everything was laid out and planned, I would finish colledge, family would help find good trad muslim wife from my country (muslim majority, so it is easy) and happy ever after

Now that I am christian, I am on my own. When I tell my family I am converted, I doubt they will help me, I will have to go out find a trad christian girl myself (and good luck doing it in a muslim majority country).

What should I do? Any other ex-muslims that face the same problem?

>>829989

The reason why I bring up family helping me is because I like the fact that they have experience in marriage (since they are married obv) and know many people who are married so their opinions and experience are valuable and needed since I have no experience.

Now that I am christian, they will probably deny any girl who is christian. So I will have to choose based on my own inexperience

>>829989

>>829990

Don't worry, when you find a christian girl she will have a family with experience of their own. However, I would recommend moving to a country where you can find christian communities. There is a saying in my country: "an isolated christian is a christian in danger". Are you baptized? What's your story?

>>829999

I am not yet, sorry for not specifying that before.

I do believe in Jesus and believe that is he is the son of god.

I am reading the bible , but I have also been thinking about a lot issues like the issue of marriage.

I want to take some time to learn some church history and theology before I get baptized. The main reason why I was muslim in the first place was because I was born into it and I didn't research/question it.

I don't want to make the same mistake with christianity.

What is everyone's thought on Christian dating sites?

I struggle with slight bisexuality. I'm attracted to the male cock but no other part of men, and yes I acknowledge this is demonic and wrong and would never perform gay sex. I've noticed something interesting. When my dreams at night are sexual themed they usually involve women and right after I wake up I find pictures of women attractive but thinking about cocks does nothing for me. However, later in the day the opposite is true. This makes me wonder, is my disordered attraction caused by bad chemicals in the food I eat that my body naturally flushes out during sleep? It would be far more comforting if it's caused by something as easily fixable as that and not some demon permanently feeding temptations into my head.

>>830175

You should tell her the body count of atheists vs religions. There's no comparison. Not even close. Better yet, print out a a stack of pictures of Chinese "Great Leap" and Ukrainian Famine victims. Also make it clear that Nazis persecuted the church themselves and followed more Aryan/Neo-Pagan philosophies.

>>830124

For me it's your last resort when it comes to relationships. It should be avoided even though it isn't intrinsically bad. If dating sites seem like the only option for you to find a girl, then your problem isn't that you're single. Rather, it is that you lack good friends and a christian community. You will meet girls if you do charity and go to places where you can find them. Dating sites are a way of bypassing all the self improvement and socializing part.

>>830585

Just stop browsing /fit/ during the day bro.

>>830585

Eh I don't have the good news you're looking for. I'm right there with you, bisexual that is. We could probably examine your life and come to a reason as to why you are, but will it fix it? Likely no. It's there, so you'll have to fight it. You'll have to die to yourself daily in a way most don't understand, but you know what else? You'll know God in a way most will never understand as you fight the good fight. So, talk to him about it, tell him your feelings, your anguish and listen to what he says. It's so worth it.

I have great concerns about a friendship (to say so) of mine, should I post it here or on a new thread?

>>830623

>We could probably examine your life and come to a reason as to why you are

I know exactly how I became bisexual. I know for sure it's because of demonic influence but no amount of prayer has helped cure it. I didn't even think it was possible for a demon to drastically alter your desires like that. At this point I'm convinced it might be permanent but maybe it's not because I've never even tried to get an exorcism because telling the story to a priest would be embarrassing. It really has given me a whole new perspective on the human condition though, knowing that people can just be spontaneously reprogramed by a demon like Agent Smith from the Matrix.

>>830803

Jesus prayed in Gethsemane "O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt." Of course there is a plan, but by your logic, why pray at all if God knows what you want? He wants you to pray and ask Him yourself.

>Luke 11

>And it came to pass, that, as he was praying in a certain place, when he ceased, one of his disciples said unto him, Lord, teach us to pray, as John also taught his disciples.

>2 And he said unto them, When ye pray, say, Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, as in heaven, so in earth.

>3 Give us day by day our daily bread.

>4 And forgive us our sins; for we also forgive every one that is indebted to us. And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil.

>5 And he said unto them, Which of you shall have a friend, and shall go unto him at midnight, and say unto him, Friend, lend me three loaves;

>6 For a friend of mine in his journey is come to me, and I have nothing to set before him?

>7 And he from within shall answer and say, Trouble me not: the door is now shut, and my children are with me in bed; I cannot rise and give thee.

>8 I say unto you, Though he will not rise and give him, because he is his friend, yet because of his importunity he will rise and give him as many as he needeth.

Do you think you will trouble God by asking? Will he be so annoyed that you trust His will to provide for you that he will do so to make you stop? Is it so inconvenient for him?

>9 And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.

>10 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

>11 If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? or if he ask a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent?/

>12 Or if he shall ask an egg, will he offer him a scorpion?

>13 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?

If God delights to nourish your spiritual growth, why not your physical body? "God is quite fond of matter, he invented it."

Lastly, why are you asking an anonymous underwater basket-weaving forum this? Have you asked your priest or your pastor?

>>830819

>Of course there is a plan, but by your logic, why pray at all if God knows what you want?

Indeed, this was my attitude for a long time, and I still retain a bit of that. But I decided that it would be right to try to show some gratitude, and I expanded my ideas of what prayer could be – a little more about this down below.

>Luke 11:1-4

I've always interpreted that as a pretty strict direction on what to say when in prayer. As in, that we should pray that God's kingdom comes, that his will is done, that we're taken care of (broadly; and I interpreted "daily bread" as a spiritual metaphor rather than a literal request for food), that our sins are forgiven, and that we can remain strong in the face of evil. And that anything outside of these few ideas is not to be asked for. It always seemed clear to me:

>2 And he said unto them, When ye pray, say…

>Luke 11:5-8

I'm not sure how to parse this story. It sounds like we're being told about a man who wakes late at night to give a friend some bread – not because he's being friendly, but because the friend outside is annoying him and keeping him awake:

>8 I say unto you, Though he will not rise and give him, because he is his friend, yet because of his importunity he will rise and give him as many as he needeth.

Have I got my intepretation wrong? Are we meant to understand that we are the friend knocking at midnight, and God is the one rising to help us because he just wants us to leave him alone?

>Do you think you will trouble God by asking? Will he be so annoyed that you trust His will to provide for you that he will do so to make you stop? Is it so inconvenient for him?

It might be so inconvenient. My thinking is not necessarily that I will trouble him, but that it is simply not my place to be asking for favors from the Almighty. I'm a servant, and he's the King.

>Luke 11:9-13

I find this section also difficult to understand. It's obvious that, literally speaking, I can't ask for just anything and have it be done. I can't ask for a million dollars and expect to have it delivered. I can't ask for my asthma to go away and expect it to disappear. My best guess at an interpretation of this section is that "asking", "knocking" and "seeking", are metaphors for honest and righteous effort toward a goal, and NOT literal words coming out of my mouth asking for things to be done for me. This is what I meant at the start of this post about expanding my ideas of what prayer could be; I think that action can be prayer – if it's honest and righteous.

>If God delights to nourish your spiritual growth, why not your physical body? "God is quite fond of matter, he invented it."

My (admittedly shallow) understanding of scripture shows me that God cares not at all for our flesh, and cares completely about our spirit. Actually, after reading a bit of Matthew (6:25-34), it seems Jesus says that we shouldn't worry about our bodies.

>25 Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?

So I guess I'll revise my stance here: It's not that God doesn't care about nourishing our bodies, but that it's not something we ought to be concerned with.

>Lastly, why are you asking an anonymous underwater basket-weaving forum this? Have you asked your priest or your pastor?

I ask here because of the benefits of anonymity – most importantly, that I'm not tempted to trust you based on your social status or purported expertise. I can evaluate your words based on their own merit.

I don't have a priest or pastor. There are people in my religious community that I trust and often turn to for advice, and I will likely bring this up with them as well, but at the moment there's no worldly authority I can turn to, and I don't think that I would even want one.

Many thanks for the reply. I hope it doesn't seem like I'm trying to argue with you – I'm really not. I just want to explain why I think what I think so you can challenge it!

Bump for more talk about wholesome courtship.

>>830807

The root of homosexuality is the desire of the flesh. We are not made to be with other dudes but whether it be societal programming, fetishization, or in your case a demon then these are merely sinful desires that we are called to fight against. Both me and me girlfriend are to some extent same-sex-attracted as the PC Christians call it, but I realize that a dude will never be the wife that gives me a children(no matter how feminine the d— is) and same to her that no female will ever be the husband she wants to be married to.

I’m sorry guys but masturbation is not fornication. I go into this in the no fap thread that has no title just a picture of Mary. I’m sorry you were all lied to. Many of you are probably born in a Christian faith and have hated yourselves since puberty. If you came from the world you would see that masturbation is not sex. Instead your priests lead you astray and you actually believe God’s laws are that burdensome. May Jesus pull you out of these lies.

To 9a522a: I felt they were in the same danger. They don’t know the real condition of their sisters.

Is it enough to attempt to get a gf if I'm a Japanese-speaking weeb (hobby), quit weed, alcohol and tobacco and doing nofap?

I just want a qt Japanese Ortho gf

>>834268

Forget theology for a second

Look at the great men in histort who retained their semen. Theres plenty. Losing that virility is just a great disadvantage. Want to stand out? Do what others arent doing. 99% will spill their seed when they get flashed by big bums or breasts by instagram. 1% arent even on those social medias, away from the overstimulated, hyperfrontal apps.

Masturbation and shooting your load because of unnatural stimulation is very bad anon.

>>834351

An old loner like me probably isn't the best guy for relationship advice so take me with a grain of salt if you will. 1. Pray about it. (2. Go to confession. 3. Attend church. I know you're still seeking but these two will be important for your relationship. Of course I recommend you to become Orthodox. Pray for guidance.) 4. Don't live in sin (not saying that you do). 5. Having prayed about it I'd say you two should talk things through and decide on whether to get married. Dating is not christian unless the intent is to get married-which yours is-so there really isn't a point in twiddling your thumbs forever. IMO the postmodern idea of dating for years to see whether you get sick of each other is extremely uncharitable.

Occult stuff is bad, agreed. I'd recommend simply throwing away anything you still have or burning it if it's really nasty. Pop culture occultism (movies, games, etc.) isn't great either and contributes to infantilism in men (which women hate with good reason). Sure, nobody thinks MTG cards are real magic, but I certainly did myself no harm back when I tossed mine in the bin. Save yourself time and energy by focusing on what matters in life: God, family, and your duties. My point is that perhaps you should also bring up this side of it when talking about the more demonic garbage: The effect that such things have even when there is no spiritual involvement is a negative one, and you need to focus on the godly life.

>>834351

You don't treat a gf as if she is a wife, physically or spiritually

>>834351

So, find a good church. One where you two can be a part of.

Also, go here and do the packet here https://antiochwaco.com/seven-steps-to-freedom/ when you two have a couple of hours set aside.

I did it with a friend and a lot of other people did it at my church after someone was possessed. It helped a lot of us. It was really good. And just keep seeking God and he'll direct your paths.

>>834378

Yeah, we stopped having sex since I came back intoo light. She likes the idea of waiting until marrriage.

>Spiritually

I think this is a good trial for my leadership ability. I don't date for fun, I would like to make her my wife.

So I'm courting her with the end goal of marrying her.

>>834375

>4. Don't live in sin (not saying that you do).

Yes, our relationship so far has been my most honest. No embellishments. And since I came back to God's light, we've agreed to postpone sex. (Intense cuddling and kissing will do; but its getting very hard to contain the passion).

>5. Having prayed about it I'd say you two should talk things through and decide on whether to get married. Dating is not christian unless the intent is to get married-which yours is-so there really isn't a point in twiddling your thumbs forever.

Agreed. Only logistical things prevent us from marrying as of now. And financial issues on my part as well.

>My point is that perhaps you should also bring up this side of it when talking about the more demonic garbage: The effect that such things have even when there is no spiritual involvement is a negative one, and you need to focus on the godly life.

Yea. God's laws are actually very benefitial without a spiritual component. Saving oneself before marriage cultivates monogamy. When you orgasm with a partner, the coolidge effect kicks in. Coolidge effect is when you lose interest in your current sexual partner and you seek more novelty through new women. I observe this all the time. After I do it with my partner, it's like I care less about her afterwards.

So we talked about this. We agreed on saving until marriage. And even then orgasm will reserved for special ocassions.

>>834385

Thanks for this. I'll do it when her on Saturday

>>834346

I was a weeb and began learning Nip a fair while before I came to Christ. I'm now in the dilema of having spent too much time learning the lang to just give it up and it being useless if I'm just going to locally work/marry for sake of faith and since I don't care for otaku culture anymore. Maybe there are some teaching jobs in Jap's Christian south.

attracted to teens (12-18)

>>834427

Just pray to God over and over and over again. Also, fast. Ask God what type to do and do it.

>>834453

well I’d be praying for a long time. I don’t see myself getting a wife for a few years. It would take a miracle from God for a girl’s parents to accept me

I think once this quarantine passes I'm going to sign up for Catholic Match or some or such site. Ideally I would be trying for someone from the Church I attend in real life but there are actually no girls in my age range there. Wish me luck.

>>834392

>Maybe there are some teaching jobs in Jap's Christian south.

Another guy that knows some japanese here. That's an interesting idea. I'd love to marry a christian, japanese girl.

>>834273

As a Christian man, wanting to find a Christian wife, I dread the idea that I could actually find a good woman to love, and she ends up cheating (not that good then, eh?).

It fills me with rage, too.

I want to find someone but I am so disgusted in my own body that I know it would be stupid to expect anyone wanting to be with me. I am not hideously obese but I am slightly overweight and since I live with my parents there's not much I can do to lose it.

Why is noone posting here? Is everyone in lovey-dovey, problem-free relationships now?

>>837615

>Why is noone posting here?

Many of us are still in lockdown which, when combined with the fact that this pandemic has turned many people into germaphobes, has had a pretty negative impact on one's ability to meet others.

>Is everyone in lovey-dovey, problem-free relationships now?

I met a girl last month (online dating) and we've grown pretty close. We live in separate countries, so it will be a strictly long-distance relationship for the foreseeable future. Her English isn't very good and she's a few years older than me, but those are the only real "problems" (if you'd call them that). Otherwise, she's:

<catholic

<feminine

<wholesome

<beautiful

<petite

<affectionate

<interested in having kids

<in a good career

She's not perfect (no one is), but she's unlike any American woman I've ever met. We love each other very much and I'm very thankful to have met her… only two months ago I had never been in a relationship and felt hopeless.

>>837734

Which site are you using?

>>837746

CatholicMatch. Sadly, I don't know of an Orthodox equivalent.

>>834427

>teens

>12

Why do people say things like this?

>hobbies + be yourself

I dedicate most of my time to studying and consuming media in Japanese. It's my biggest and maybe only real passion I've ever had.

I've been at it for a year and a half and already made a lot more progress than people who finished college and majored in Japanese.

Do you think this could be an attractive trait?

>confidence and nofap

big big big problem here. I'm trying

>visit places where high quality women hang out

I wish… Even if I do I almost never get into any sort of situation where I need to socialize

>be more educated about your faith

I think just acting like a Godly man should be enough. But I just need some backbone and less anxiety

>>839539

>Do you think this could be an attractive trait?

Consuming, be it images or knowledge, is not attractive. More important than this is that if you don't create, your spirit will be destroyed because we are made in the image of the Creator. Consider painting, writing, or cooking and mix it with your interest in Japanese culture.

My depression got a lot better once I got a productive hobby with the help of my confessor. Do you have someone to be a friend-mentor?

Dear friends,

about half a year ago, I managed to leave a 9 year old (pre-marital) relationship which constantly drifted towards emotional and verbal abuse (from her side). However, I have been unable to move on, despite having met and started new relationships.

I have no romantic feelings left towards my ex, however I pity her, she has no friends, no work, no social safety net or emotional support. Her best friend is her mother and basically everone else despises her.

Somehow, I took upon myself to help her through life, being a financial and emotional crutch for her. Sometimes our relationship was fantastic, other times abusive. Nevertheless, we separated about 6 months ago but just the thought of her life and everything about it fills me with anguish, despair and empathy. I can't let go of the fact that I may be the only person on earth able to help her, the only person standing up for her, however this has had lead me unable to form new meaningful relationships with women.

What should I do? Should I just give up on her and cut all ties? My priest told me to break up, saying God wishes for me to be happy, however the thought of her being abused or suffering in any way returns to me with constant fear and axiety.

>>839699

Your priest sounds like a piece of turd. Yes God wants us to be happy but He wants us to be responsible even more. I don’t agree with your ex abusing you and that needs to change, but you just may be in even more sin by leaving her. I can’t even say that with certainty either. I can’t help you with advice at all actually because the details are everything. But you’ve been together with this girl for 9 years living a life that’s meant for only husband and wife. Hopefully neither one of you has sinned a grave sin in that time. Hopefully she’s learned her lesson and will treat you better. But if your going to get back together she needs to be a submissive girl, and you need to be stern when proper and forgiving of her faults, but even that not to a fault. If she didn’t cheat on you then you have no right to leave her. Unless you have proof she cheated and strongly suspect of of so. Sometimes they cheat and the Holy Spirit sets in on your heart that you must leave her. But that’s tricky. I’ve seen first hand examples of people leaving their mates even when proof of cheating didn’t exist, they were blessed for leaving and later the proof surfaced. I’ve also seen people leave without the proof and their lives never recovered because they left unrighteously. That’s why I can’t tell you solid advice. But you know her. If you know she’s cheated then leave her. If she’s an abusive narcissistic demon, then You have a major problem. However, if her abuse is something she can fix, you may have to get back together. Like I said I have no clear advice.

The thought of you being allowed to leave her just because your unhappy seems very wrong to me. Everyone gets unhappy at some point in every relationship. Can you have honest conversations with her? Does she listen? Is her abuse a product of what she is or how she was treated in the past? How old is she and how old are you? Your pastor is a fraud.

>>839699

Is she a Christian?

>>839699

Did you cheat on her while in your new relationships? Are you in a new relationship right now? All these details have a bearing on the advice you need to get. I don’t mean to be nosy. But without the big picture no ones going to risk giving you advice, we may become sinners just by doing so. We may end up sharing in your sins. Like your pastor.

>>839702

Our relationship was on-and-off the last few years during which I did engage in other relationships (sometimes lasting months). I think she has borderline personality disorder, so lies and frequent break-ups were common, it was actually difficult to tell when we were together and when not so idk if it counts as cheating per se, although she doesn't know about my other relationships.

>>839701

No

>>839700

Our lives used to be quite sinful including fornication and abortions. She also sexted some guys on a few occasions. Although none of this has happened the last 3-4 years, so I'm honestly inclined to believe she's changed her ways and matured. That said, we have never been able to hold an honest conversation, she always starts to argue and becomes verbally aggressive, it seems to me se sees any intention of mine to talk with her as criticism (as mentioned, I do believe she has borderline personality disorder). We are about 30 years of age. She would probably accept getting married although she doesn't want any children (other than through a surrogate), and anytime I try to lift the subject she tells me I should go to another woman.

>>839705

Your describing a narcissist. These details are making it clear to me that you need to move on. She’s not a good person. Sorry to say it so directly. She’s going to pull you down with her. My friend recently was in your same exact shoes, he left her and felt bad, she showed her true colors a week later. Your ex is not a Christian, you are. It is over between the two of you in more ways then one. She’s starting to sound very much like a narcissist. That word is thrown around a lot but I encourage you to look into narcissistic traits and the people on youtube that talk about being in a narcissistic relationship. You feel bad for your ex but don’t. She brought this on herself. A couple should be able to talk about anything. Shutting down conversations is one of the worst traits a mate can have, a relationship killing trait. You will never get anywhere with this girl, I’ve seen many like them, both males and females. You moved on, stay moved on. Of course I think you should not have premarital sex at all from now on because that helps in many ways. It speeds up the revealing of the person your dating, their faults, and uncovers lies and their true personality quicker. Staying chaste while dating is a powerful weapon you don’t want to avoid using.

This girl is old enough to take care of herself. It is over between the two of you anon and you need to stop feeling sorry for her. You tried, she didn’t. There is no peace without honest conversations.

I can’t tell you how important it is that you watch videos on narcissism and the traits of narcissistic people, it will open your eyes to who she really is. Narcissistic people are demon possessed, they all act the same when they haven’t even met each other and haven’t gone to school to learn their traits. Narcissistic people act the same in every country, in every culture, at every age. You’ve done all you can for her, and she’s not even a Christian. You’ve wasted enough time on her. She will be in pain, yes, but that’s not your fault. Don’t blame yourself for leaving her. She pushed you away herself. Never date another girl that isn’t a Christian. If you are then your dating prospects need to be as well.

The friend I mentioned has an ex that acted the same way every time he wanted to talk about their problems. She always twisted the conversation and blamed my friend every time. Guilt was her most powerful weapon and she was the problem every time. She latched onto him and drained all his money and never carried her own weight. She would make random decisions and never saw things fully through, left everything on my friend’s shoulders. She was a cut throat passive aggressive verbally abusive damaged girl. My friend escaped, he sees it as an escape as well. Her mother was the source of the reason she was who she was. Anyway I digress.

I can’t stress enough how much you must look into narcissistic traits and a few videos on YouTube. It will destroy any guilt you have about leaving her, I highly recommend it. You will be shocked at how relatable you will find it. Above all you must never engage in pre-marital sex if you want Jesus blessing. You made that mistake already and you lost many years already. Date only girls that identify themselves as Christians. Break up with everyone that can’t have honest conversations because that’s the very beginning of solving problems. Many girls are not teachable, don’t commit to anyone you can’t teach, and be teachable yourself. Your pastor is right about this one.

>>839705

> She would probably accept getting married although she doesn't want any children (other than through a surrogate), and anytime I try to lift the subject she tells me I should go to another woman.

Also, this is hugely wrong. If a woman loves you then she will absolutely want to bare your child. Unless she’s barren this is unacceptable. She doesn’t love you anon, she’s just dependent on you.

>>839706

Thank you for your feedback. I described her as borderline (due to her temper tantrums and violent behaviour), although she could probably be diagnosed as narsisstic as well. I am aware of her disorted personality and this is the very reason for my pity.

>>839708

Feel pity, and that’s normal and a good sign. Don’t feel guilty though.

>>839699

>>839705

I'm sorry, but your ex sounds like a horrible woman. You do need to move on and focus on your own well-being (particularly your faith) until you meet someone nicer… someone Christian. Would you really want not just you, but your own children to suffer as well? She doesn't even want to bear your child… That's how little she thinks of you.

Your priest is seemingly taking a hippie approach to this situation, but he does have a point. It is important that you find happiness in this life, as you do not want to grow lukewarm in the faith due to your ex and ultimately become as miserable as she is - you might never recover, especially if she keeps you hooked with sex or drugs. She'll drag you to the depths of Hell, if you let her. Cut off all communication with her and focus on self-improvement.

What church do you belong to, lad? I met a terrific girl on CatholicMatch only two days after getting a membership, and she would never treat me like that. She's always very loving and wants to be a good wife and have my children. There are women out there like that, and you will meet them, if you're willing to move on from not only this woman, but from dating secularists altogether.

I have this girl, we are 6 months in.

She was into witchcraft and talking with spirits. Now she come to the Light. She’s back on path to the Kingdom of God.

She complimented my semen retention journey. She respects abstaining from coital penetration until we are married.

I feel manlier around her. She admires my dominance over her. Without God and my retention i dont think Id be able to lead her.

Lately weve been heavily sexual, as naturally two lovers would have passions.

Im thinking of marrying her in Spirit, but its too early. Shes young and we haven’t experienced living together.

Now Im wondering is it better to go in blind (not live together; not get to know her as deep) and to grow into a a strong tree together or should we already be fairly acquainted with each other, to already have a firm roots and little sapling of a relationship. We are essentially in the seed stages.

What did the Bible say about Marriage? Is this to be done in Spirit or only sanctified by a third party.

>>840511

>Shes young and we haven’t experienced living together.

You are not to live together before getting married.

>Is this to be done in Spirit or only sanctified by a third party.

You should have a proper wedding with other people attending. Your marriage vows should be before other people as witnesses. Weddings do not need to be big or expensive.

>>840511

> She was into witchcraft and talking with spirits. Now she come to the Light. She’s back on path to the Kingdom of God.

A history like this one takes time to know if it’s truly in the past.

>I have this girl, we are 6 months in.

Don’t want to say it’s too soon only because of 6 months but I feel like your blinded because of her a bit.

>Lately weve been heavily sexual, as naturally two lovers would have passions.

Yes that’s natural but you don’t know each other very well yet. You said so yourself in this next quote. It’s sounding like the whole thing is getting you in a situation your not likely to be able to control.

>Now Im wondering is it better to go in blind (not live together; not get to know her as deep) and to grow into a a strong tree together or should we already be fairly acquainted with each other, to already have a firm roots and little sapling of a relationship. We are essentially in the seed stages.

You should know each other without living together. Living together before marriage is not right. You might as well just marry her because your not going to be able to control yourselves. However that’s a bad idea because going in blind is never a good idea. Your in the territory of gambling and with something a lot more valuable than money. If you absolutely knew you want to marry her it would still not be ok because your not married.

>What did the Bible say about Marriage? Is this to be done in Spirit or only sanctified by a third party.

God only required the oath be made through prayer. But that’s only safe when both the man and woman absolutely know the seriousness of the oath. Most people need to do it in front of others in order to take their oaths seriously and she’s walked a bad path before, she most likely doesn’t know the seriousness of that binding oath, and you might find yourself in a situation where you yourself want to ignore that you made that oath because currently it sounds like you don’t know who she is on the inside or how serious she takes God and any oaths made to Him.

Judging by these things I feel like your marching toward calamity. But when you absolutely know she’s legit and devoted to God and you both want to marry then you have the following choices.

1: Make the oath to God in private. Leave government paperwork out of it. Move in together because you are now married. (I do not recommend this for you, it might destroy your relationship between you and your church, and probably family as well, but God will not be mad at you. He will be pissed without measure if you or your girl pretend like you never made it or it was never official).

2: Get married in a ceremony at church with your family and friends. Make the oath in public, why not? If it is possible for you to do these things why not do them? Are your parents against it or something? I would still leave government paperwork out of it because that junk is not worth the tax credits. You don’t need a ceremony but why would you not have one if you can? Just keep it very small if you like, it can be as big as a thanksgiving feast, don’t you want your families to enjoy that day?

In any case you don’t need a priest. You don’t need paperwork. You just need whatever it takes for the two of you to take that oath seriously. There are many ways you can do this. The Bible has never given anyone a template.

You can even make the oath by the two of you leading in prayer in front of all in attendance at a barbecue. Saying your oaths (also no oath template written anywhere in the Bible) and finishing the prayer. No government papers or priests needed.

There are many ways you can do this, bottom line, do you both know each other enough? Do you both love each other after knowing each other enough? Have you forgiven each other’s past sins? Do you both take God seriously? A lot of it is in the both of your hands.

But as of right now, you two seem to be in a dangerous situation.

>>840511

Wait a minute. Are you in a sexual relationship already with this girl or your just feeling strong sexual urges?

>>840518

lol, I believe he is, just "no penetration" for what that's worth.

inb4 he becomes:

https://www.invidio.us/watch?v=aDFKH6qeRHA

>>840583

Oh snap. He might as well make the oath and move in now.

Didn’t watch the link. Too busy.

I'm in my 20's and have never been on a date. It's entirely on me though, because I'm simply not interested in doing any of the things required to attract a woman. I hate dating culture and am not ver social, I don't think I'm suited for a romantic relationship. I'm embracing celebacy, no bitterness whatsover.

I've embraced celibacy.

>>840692

>How can you tell what your vocation is?

It depends from person to person but God does not order us to follow one path or the other. Some people are better suited to the celibate life, others are better suited to the married life, some could go either way. Regardless of which applies to you it is 100% a free choice between the options. Don't sit there and do nothing while you wait for the Lord to give you an order which He does not wish to impose on you.

>In my heart of hearts, I feel like that there is some beautiful intelligent woman out there who will lead me closer to God and God is calling me to the Sacrament of Matrimony with her.

There could be and you could ask the Lord for a good woman. But the woman who is good for you is not necessarily the one you want. Perhaps you might marry a woman who ends up whoring around and divorce-raping you. You might find your salvation in the path of great pain, as did St. Paul the Simple. Always keep this in mind–regardless if you marry or not.

>At the same time, I want to avoid all women and become a priest just because of my general lack of self-control around women in my thoughts due to a crippling porn/masturbation addiction I've had for years

Bad reason. Neither priesthood nor marriage will cure this problem and you need to work on it regardless. If you really want to flee temptation then the ascetic life might be for you but it will still only remove the external temptations–your own thoughts and lusts will still be there and perhaps they will worsen. This is a cross you will have to pick up and carry.

>along with the fact that I'm 24 and never have been in a relationship with a woman. I'm so inexperienced with the other sex at my age, I don't know how I could be a good father and husband,

Forget postmodern BS. I'm way older than you with zero involvement with women ever and I could get a wife if I so desired. What you need foremost for marriage is personal responsibility and a willingness to sacrifice. You need to know that the "50% give, 50% take" meme is a lie and marriage is "100% give". Seek not a beautiful or intelligent woman but a godly woman who will grow in faith with you and preferably with strong family ties. With such by your side you will simply have to work it out as you go along. People have done so for thousands of years.

>yet I don't feel especially called to the priesthood. I know I should have faith, but at the same time, I can't help but to be prudent and avoid what I understand I can't do.

Then don't. Go to a monastery or marry.

Also: Begome. :)

>>842760

I don't think it's right that you chose celibacy. I think you're supposed to discern, through prayer and analysis of your present life circumstances, what you're being called to but I don't know if Non-Catholics practise discernment. I don't know if they spend time trying to discern what purpose God is calling them to or if they just pick whatever they want in life and keep God in their life along the way.

I hope you at least consider that God might have a calling for you though.

>>842760

Same.

>>842916

Discerning more seems like an euphemism for choosing. No choice should be made without God in mind, so why invent a word for what is the norm?

>>842967

>>842916

How does one discern what a deep rooted desire placed in my heart by God or not? I experience physical attraction to women same as any man, and have experienced lust. But as I said before, I have no social inclinations and interactions with women frankly either bore or irritate me. The games of dating that are practiced and expected to be practiced in my society disgust me. I do not feel that cares and hazards of married life would be fruitful to me spiritually.

I have arrived at this conclusion over months of prayer, examination of my personality and the circumstances of my life, and taking into account the commands of our Lord as revealed through Scripture. Is that not discernment?

Now if the Holy Spirit filled me with an unalterable conviction that God wanted me to take a wife, then I would be bound to do so. But I have not had that. So I can only make decisions with the material that I have to work with. I am desperate to be called to something or have my vocation revealed to me; but it seems I am in a season of waiting on that score. Whatever the case may be, if it be possible for other young men to have fruitful Christian marriages with young women then that is well, I see no place for myself in such a path.

>>842978

>Now if the Holy Spirit filled me with an unalterable conviction that God wanted me to take a wife, then I would be bound to do so. But I have not had that.

You should be thinking of it in the opposite way. Being gifted with celibacy is the rare exception.

>>842967

You say this, but you're the one preaching about expecting months for a wave. All decisions can only be taken in the present, this paralysis of the Will is not from the Spirit.

>>842978

It just sounds like you haven't met the type of woman that you would be interested in having a relationship with. I am still in that same boat at the moment too. Also, like >>842980 said, most men are called towards marriage just by our nature. I wouldn't say it's super rare, but it's less common to see someone that feels absolutely sure they are called to be married right off the bat, but I have seen a lot of seminarians who are assured in their call towards the priesthood. Just have faith in God. If God really wants you to be married, then He'll send the right woman who will not only grow closer to God as a result of you, but who will cause you to grow closer to God. It's all really a matter of patience. Right now, it's best to clean any vice out of your life, pray on a daily basis and to become responsible as an adult man. Just like it took a while for Jesus to be born after King David died, nothing good ever comes quickly or cheap.

>>842981

Yeah, but there's a difference between living your life in the present while trusting God's Providence that His Plan will bring you closer to Him and fill you with joy and actively worrying about the future and being paralyzed by it. Discerning is not about fearing the future, it's about trusting God's Providence and the process by which one goes about doing it through God's grace.

>>842998

I've really enjoyed discussing with you. You've been really thoughtful and sincere and I appreciate your being that gracious with me even though I'm not Roman Catholic. I think that your overall position on this is definitely on point.

>It just sounds like you haven't met the type of woman that you would be interested in having a relationship with.

If I'm being honest, I must concede that this is most likely the case.

>If God really wants you to be married, then He'll send the right woman who will not only grow closer to God as a result of you, but who will cause you to grow closer to God.

I cannot argue with that at all, you are completely correct.

>Right now, it's best to clean any vice out of your life, pray on a daily basis and to become responsible as an adult man.

That's the best advice that I have seen in a long time, and is definitely the kind of thing I needed to see right now.

Thank you brother, peace.

>>834350

I second that. There was a seminar/vacation with a youth group full of conservative Baptists and the girls acted and dressed very modestly. In this whole week, I had one or two dirty thoughts total. When I returned home it feld as if I had a pure aura radiating from me.

>>839699

>Should I just give up on her and cut all ties? My priest told me to break up, saying God wishes for me to be happy

You got your answer already. You cannot make straight what God has made crooked and vice-versa. What I learned in my life is never have pity with a girl who is incapable of changing or even seeing problems in her. I met two girls in my life who are capable of self-reflection and receptive to advice, and that out of over hundreds. You are not married so you have zero obligation to her. She was your concubine for nine years and that's it. Pull the Augustinian move and become a monk, or at least be celibate until you marry. This time try to build a profound connection with a girl before you become physical.

I've been dating a girl whom I called my best friend and feel madly in love with for about 5 months. It seems that recently we've been on a downward spiral of conflict and trying to manage conflict and negativity.

Tonight we have realised there is a big problem in our relationship that it seem we just are not having fun… How much of dating is it that you just eventually have a tapering off of excitement and how much is it incompatability causing things to not be fun? How does one rekindle exciting love when things seem to be mundane? How much effort is too much?

>>842998

When I trust the solidity of a chair, I do not think about it at all. Only when I vacillate does it come to mind.

>>843026

Thanks for the answer. Everything you say is on point. As for doing something with myself and stopping being a pussy, I've had a hard time doing it because of serious health issues lately. Unable to do sports, barely able to hang out with friends. Lowest point in my life ngl. It's getting better though. I read the book of Job today and it was extremely helpful.

Right now what I fear the most is the consequences of what I've done. I put the girl on a pedestal so much, that I fear I'll never be able to love a woman more than her. I know there are better girls out there, but the subjective image of her I constructed might just be unbeatable. I hope I can deconstruct that image sometime.

God bless you anon.

Hello,

I would like to know if my lack of being upset at being dumped is because of my relationship with God/Jesus. I also want advice on if I just loved him or was in love with him.

I wouldn't say I'm a "Christian" but I do pray and read my Bible daily.

What I'd like advice on is on my recent breakup. He broke up with me as I am slightly older and his culture prefers the woman to be younger. Other than the age difference, the relationship was great. We truly enjoyed each others company, we had similar interests, morals, life goals and we would encourage each other to be our best. He broke up with me once before due to the age thing but wanted to make it work and he broke it off again recently. Both times I was upset, but I wasn't in a uncontrollable downward spiral upset. I don't know if that's because I never truly loved him or because I know God has a plan and it'll be okay in the end.

I'm in my thirties and I don't believe I've ever been in love if that's the case. I've always been a bit cold/unemotional and since I was on my own a lot pretty much my entire life, I'm very comfortable being on my own. However, I really liked the company. I like cooking and cleaning for someone, I like having someone there to help me with my problems, I just like the company. I really liked my ex's company. I could see myself with him for the rest of my life.

I've done research (videos/websites) on loving someone vs in love with someone. It was not helpful as I agreed with a lot on both sides.

He said he's going to reach out in a few days to see if I'm okay. Given how torn he was on the break and his past wanting to reconnect, I don't know if I should try again* because I may not be "in love" with him.

I do think about him often and I wish and pray that he is doing well. Many things remind me of him and I've been having some difficulties that I would have normally asked for his help on. Thinking about the future without him in it gives me sadness.

I hope that's enough information. I would love any advice. If more information or clarifications are needed, please let me know.

*I will say that he will need his parents ok if we are to be in contact with each other. That way if he does have his parents blessing we can try the relationship again or be friends.

>>829641

Living in Scandinavia finally got to me. I think I give up when it comes to relationships. I am clearly not a people's person and suck when it comes to interactions with the finer sex. How do I cope with realization that I'll never find a girl? (I'm 24 and been close to a relationship only once, but I'm mostly a loser - oh well, more God for me). I'm getting jealous of people who are in relationships, even though I in my mind know that it's nothing to be jealous of, so please pray for me, so that Our Lord gives me peace of mind.

bump

>>846107

>Cope

>Loser

Stop using these words for one thing and stop talking about yourself in such a manner is a good starting place. The jealousy stems from wanting something that they have that you believe is worth having. I was jealous of people in relationships until I got into a relationship myself and realized it isn't just nice feelings and happy moments. Stuff is hard work man and it takes both parties being at their best, which I can fully admit that I wasn't always at my best. I think you might need to experience some sort of relationship for these feelings to pass, it's not exactly the best advice but it is what helped me.I don't know exactly what country you live in and the exact climate when it comes to dating but both me and Jesus know you have importance in this world so never doubt it.

>>843893

Why not take the step to become a "Christian" though? I don't know if you are gonna see this but I think the way in which you emotionally handled it showed your emotional maturity if that is anything to be proud of honestly.

I can't speak to how long it takes to emotionally be over someone but I will pray that things between the both of you can be mended.

girls are for faggots

real men tame strong beasts like other men

So where do I go when I get to heaven? Who will be there for me?

I've been lost most of my life. Serious depression at a very young age. No one to guide me during young adult hood. Prayed like a scared little kid in the corner of God's room, never being noticed or helped. 40 years of fearful attempts at living like others I see in church, with families of their own. Failing to ever have a family of my own. Thought I could be a husband and dad for a single mom and her children, found out that damaged people can't help damaged people. I failed, since she couldn't be a wife to me and her kids couldn't be my kids.

Now, trying to be a husband and a dad to one whos been widowed with a teen child. I have found I can be a husband to her, and a dad to her child, only a replacement though, and I never have a child with her, since she no longer has that ability.

So, having no one on earth to call my own, and when we all die, this earthly family of mine, will rejoin their true family. Where does that leave me?

Alone in life here. Alone eternally.

If that is the case, what purpose did I serve? I respectfully request my soul be annihilated upon death. I no longer wish to be alone.

>>850328

bro just find a girl in the afterlife where they're all 11s and don't have any baggage

How does one deal with a gf who was a rape victim?

She still gets panic attacks and gets overemotional, I'm compassionate towards her and just want to love her. And honestly if you remove her rapist from the equation than she has a body count of zero which is more than you can ask for from most modern women.

Any good guides on this that aren't from libtards and secularists? What's the most godly way to comfort her when she's having a PTSD attack from it?

There's a book on this, "Allies in Healing".

Sad to say, you may need to leave and move on. it can become a crutch, a feed-back loop where she shows pain, you comfort, she's positively re-enforced and amplifies the behavior.

And when you have nothing more to give, you're accused of rape and she moves on to the next crutch.

She's got to pray for the grace to heal, Anon.

>>850828

I just feel like God put her in front of me, I can't just leave her

A fictional space lizard put women in their place better than most of this thread.

>Shut your mouth, woman!

-Lord Frieza

>>850827

>How does one deal with a gf who was a rape victim?

Are you sure she ain't lying? Mentally unstable girls tend do that as one of their "woe is me" tirades. Tread carefully and better break up. There are mentally sound girls out there who you can raise a family with.

>>830803

God asks us to pray for in all sorts of occasions, including for material problems we face on earth. As the other guy mentioned, "give us this day our daily bread" is a part of the Lord's Prayer for a reason.

>>850827

please

do not

accuse her of making up the rape. this is the worst thing you can do to a rape victim.

during a ptsd attack, it might be very difficult but try to stay calm and offer simple things like a hug (not the time for any sexual contact - just ahug) and just be there for her. let her know you believe her and make her understand that you will never hurt her.

the girl i loved was a rape victim. her name was emily. her story will follow this reply. i hope you read this and help your gf as much as you can.

sad sad story

>biblical advice welcomed

emily was my best friend.

she was absolutely gorgeous, down to earth, sweet, kind, caring, selfless. when she was 3 her dad abandoned her and her sister and mom. the last time emily saw her dad, she was 8. their last interaction, emily gave him a few coins she had in a coin purse. she and her mom went to pick him up from jail and emilys money was for cab fare.

growing up, emily struggled with depression and anxiety from being abandoned. boys in school treated her like garbage, causing her to develop anorexia to the point of being hospitalized. she cut her wrists a lot and the scars were visible for years to come.

the guys she dated all treated her horrible. she was sexually harassed, assaulted, and even raped once.

i became her friend in 2013 when i got a job at the same restaurant that she worked at. as i was heading out on a delivery one day, she was outside smoking a cig and crying, so i stopped to ask if she was ok. i took my delivery and at the end of our shift i broke character and told her she could tell me anything if she wanted to talk. we became friends after that and opened up to eachother about out issues with mental health.

in the first year of being friends, i fell completely in love with emily, but we were too different to make things work, and decided to stay friends. then 6 years and a nasty 4 year relationship (for me) played out before i dumped my gf. that was october 2019. the lockdown made emilys depression skyrocket while her mental health plummeted. she was terrified of this virus and wouldnt leave her house, but i wanted to see her. i was once again thinking about her romantically and one day popped by to tell her that i love her. that was june 2. we talked for about an hour before i left for home feeling ok about what was said. once again we decided to stay friends (bc like it or not i truely love her and if that means friend or nothing i take friend every time) but i left, and she knew that i simply cared about her very much. little did i know that would be the last time i saw her.

ten days later i got the call from emilys mother.

emilys dead - she killed her self

thats where emilys story ends and my troubles begin.

i became a christian a few years ago and had been doing a lot of studying. i found a great bible church near my new job and had been there for about 6 months by the time emily died. i had the whole church basically praying for her salvation before she died. i was attending addiction programs hosted by my church each friday and was making real progress with my drug abuse, that is, until that dreaded phone call.

i got back into drugs, and was doing even more shameful things like looking for sex in all the wrong places. honestly i even furiously begged for death as i suffered the torment. i stopped reading the bible everyday and was consumed by depression and anger. at one point i was honestly nervous to drive as it would have been an easy way out for me and i was tempted.

part of the story i left out was early on in our friendship,.when i learned of her cutting and her anorexia, i too tried to cut and starve myself simply to know what she went through. this same thought has plagued my mind for the passed 6 months. i want to know what she is going through.

the hardest part for me is knowing she was not a believer. if she is in hell why do i want to go to heaven? i know this makes me a terrible person unfit for the kingdom of God, and yet the thought persists.

it has been hard to start reading the bible again, but it is helping a little. still though, not a day goes by that i dont think about her, pray for her, clutch the stuffed pokemon that i took off her bed the day of the phone call.

she was the only person who stayed friends eith me through my conversion and didnt judge me at all for it. she was supportive of my new faith, and the only friend i had left.

my last remaining friend killed herself.

oh and heres a great twist… the cops wouldnt let me see her when i got to her house that morning. and her family is anti religion, and only held a very private viewing before emily was cremated. so the very last time i saw emily was june 2 2020. and i never even saw her after her death. i dont know why but the fact i never saw her dead bothers me to no end… and i may be slipping into real insanity from this.

is she really dead? did she and her family and cops all fale it because she secretly wanted to get rid of me? no of course thats rediculous to believe… right?

>>850916

sorry to drop such a terribly sad story here anons, but i simply dont know what else to do. i have no one to talk to (except the guys at my church) and if it werent for living with my parents id probably be dead already. i dont have any motivation to do basic self care, except that i have seen what suicide does to a parent, and i cant put my parents through that. i dont know how im supposed to pick up the pieces and keep moving. i dont know what will happen after my parents pass. how will i be able to take care of myself.

ive been watching spooky ghost stories on yt which has been fun because being scared is better than being sad. my former interests now go unattended. my work life is suffering. conversations with coworkers have been getting more and more revealing of my decline. ill probably get fired soon, leave my parents and live homeless for the rest of my pathetic life. who cares anyway?

>>850916

>biblical advice welcomed

Women love donkey nuts.

this is >>850917 reporting some additional info

i forgot to mention the primary source of my troubles. in my final conversation with emily, i told her that i didnt care if she was trying to socially distance bc i wanted to see her before the world implodes. i told her i had little hope of america surviving this year. i now find myself praying for americas safety and protection but secretly hoping we get obliterated by china. that would at least give me some sort of relief knowing she got out of here before hell breaks loose…

also, will be going by the name "emilys friend" in the future to revisit this page.

>>850924

thank you sincerely. i will check back here from time to time, maybe with some updates for yall. reading job in one sitting will be challenging but it will be my go-to starting tomorrow morning.

God bless you anon.

>>850931

sorry for so many posts, i get a little scattered around this time (bed time for me) probably due to certain things previously mentioned.

the reason the conversation bothers me so much now is because i blame myself for removing the last bit of hope she may have had for living.

i didnt mention that to her mom at all, but talking about all the POS guys she dealt with, her mom assures me that i was the one good guy in her life. emily also told her mom that she was very happy that i had come by that day. still i cant shake the thought that i was just another part of the problem in her life. or maybe she was just cursed or something. her life was filled with tragedy and suffering. all she knew was pain. my only prayer is that God would take that pain away in her death, and bring her to heaven.

i wish i felt comfy showing a picture but i just know that there are some nasty people among us here and i dont want to show them. she was the most incredible person ive ever known.

thanks again for the kind advice anon. ill be back.

Met a new girl at work a couple of weeks ago. She's overall very attractive and, after talking to her here and there, I've developed feelings for her and she seemingly feels the same… but, I found her IG today and learned that she's older than I thought and married to an Orthodox Christian, unless they separated within the last few weeks (the last time she referenced him in a post). I kinda wish I knew all of this before asking her out on a date and her saying yes.

The last couple of days a guy started orbiting her and they're together at work constantly now. Whenever he and I are in the same room, she isn't her usual friendly self and gets real quiet, like she's trying to play both fields without the other noticing. The date has been rescheduled numerous times and she currently has an "overpacked" schedule, and yet she still says she wants to do it, so I can't help but feel like I'm being put on the shelf. She may genuinely be busy with the aftermath of a divorce, which I'd understand, but then why say yes to a date? Did she get bored with her husband and wants the guy attention?

I dunno what to think lads. We left our conversation at a point of where I have no interest in messaging her and she probably won't reach out for a week or two before reaching out to me with her availability. I'm thinking I'll just tell her I'm not interested anymore, because I've grown very depressed over this nonsense and I'm not eating or sleeping much at all because of it.

>>850949

So shes married and flakes on you multiple times. Ask her if shes married to confirm, otherwise her flaking on you isnt a good Sign

Let it go chief.

>>850949

If she's married then I don't know why you'd be getting involved. It seems like she's giving off nothing but red flags, and there's plenty of women out there who don't. Move on king.

>>850981

>>850984

Yeah, I ended up telling her I couldn't go through with the date for unspecified reasons. If I had to guess, she's recently divorced and isn't feeling ready for another relationship. I don't know why else she'd respond positively to my flirting and asking her out, but hem and haw with her schedule. Too nice to say no?

>>850984

>If she's married then I don't know why you'd be getting involved

I only learned she was married after asking her out; I got bored of waiting for her to give me a date for us to go out and become better acquainted, so I found her social media and the wedding photos spoke for themselves.

Anyway, I'm mostly over her now. I think I'll just try CM again and see if I can find a date there.

How do I put an old crush out of my mind when I'm engaged to a wonderful girl?

Its weird, I've had some dreams lately and today I've been thinking about this cute girl I used to know and how we would be a good match. I know it's stupid and it didn't bother me a week ago. I'm so lucky to have her and I would be a permanent incel if it weren't for my fiancee.

>>851080

try not to worry too much about those thoughts. similar happened to me with my former gf. dont feel guilty and try to focus on all the things you love about your fiance.

>>850924 thanks again, been reading/listening to job for a few days, and it seems like its helping.

>>830016

>I don't want to make the same mistake with christianity.

Is completely fine mate.

If you want to ask questions you can pray to GOD while also talking it over with us, you aren't the only one going through this, some I've met do have similar struggles.

>>851195

Stop porn, stop masturbating, stop frequenting forums, go outside and become comfortable talking to people.

>t. hypocrite

>>850949

Dating a divorced woman is adultery. You have a Catholic flag … you ought to know that. I met a similar girl in college, she was playing several fields while she had a long-distance thing going. She was very attractive but had several screws loose. I am glad God rescued me from her.

Also, there is always some back and forth, but dating women at work is a risky thing. Would not recommend but not totally outrule.

>>850917

Catholic dogma states that suicide will land you in hell for sure. The paradox with suicide is that you being hopeful that everything after will be nice (or void), but the torture really starts afterwards. As long as you have life in you, never cease to suffer and pull through and be satisfied and happy in your servitude to God.

>>829980

Do not waste your time. Find someone who is worthy to be a wife and mother

I am worried that I will be unable to have a healthy relationship. I have a wonderful friend group but I find myself bored with a good 70% of most conversations we have been having as of late. It stems from the fact that I have been slowly growing out of living for entertainment and at this point I don't watch TV or play video games and I pretty much only use the internet for researching topics I find interesting which, needless to say, aren't the typical topics my friends like to talk about. The moment I stop leading our conversations they immediately return to quoting movies or talking about video games.

With all that said, they are infinitely more enjoyable to be around than most people. At least with them I can have the occasional engaging conversation. I bring this up because I feel like the same problem will arise from trying to find a marriage partner. I have only ever had one relationship which was mostly online and while she was genuinely engaging and enjoyable to talk to, when we ended up living together it because clear immediately that we were incompatible. Another thing is her and I were both privy to occult topics which make it hard to relate to normal people. I'm just worried that even if I'm able to find another Christian girl in this pre-apocalyptic godless nightmare society, she will end up being another dopamine addicted zombie who is fixated on flashing screens and only relates to people via cultural archetypes presented by sitcoms. I don't know, I type very over-dramatically, maybe I just don't know how to have fun anymore like all the normies do.

Thanks for reading my blog, any thoughts on my situation would be appreciated, God bless.

>>851205

As I said in a previous reply, I didn't realize she was divorced until after I asked her out and ultimately canceled on her; had I known in the first place, I wouldn't have asked her out. The trouble with this woman is she's not only attractive but comes across as being Christian. Nevertheless, I'm confident that she's divorced, so I've since kept my distance. I don't think I'll ask anyone at work out again.

>>851488 (heiled)

Less talking, more action. With friends as well as with girls. There is only so much you can talk about and all in all, talking is sharing things and feelings, but there is no real substance if there is no common activity and taking action there. This is what truly binds us together. So play some sportsball or take a hike with your friends. Do the same with a date. Sometimes less (talking) is more. For some reason I had more success with girls when I was less talkative and more touchy and aggressive. Newsflash, all that matters really is that you are a good man, and she a good woman. All the autistic intellectualism is, more often than not, a shying away from your sexuality and sexual role.

>>851492

Yeah, she's a wolf in sheep's clothing. I wouldn't tap that. She is in a continuous state of mortal sin because she is bound to her husband until death does part them. But you already know that. I know the thrill. I had a married woman making advances to me, and I was inclined but my consciousness told me a big NO. I was very afraid of how God would punish me if I tapped her. Instead I friendzoned her and gave her advice for a happier matrimony, but I'm sure she resented me for doing that.

If there is a girl at your workplace you like, hit her up when you or she quits the job, changes departmens or moves. That's how I'd do.

>>851862

I had my suspicions and confirmed them: the temptress is moving in with a male co-worker, less than a month after leaving her husband! She sheepishly told me as much the other day. She's normally very confident, but the few times she's brought up this guy, the shame in her voice and body language is very apparent.

>Instead I friendzoned her and gave her advice for a happier matrimony,

That's good of you. As for dating in the workplace, I've been here a year and I can't say there's any other woman I'm interested in. There's a few that are flirty with me, but I don't see any good coming out of dating them.

>>851883

>but the few times she's brought up this guy, the shame in her voice and body language is very apparent.

Yeah, it's usually that or a false sense of pride, pretending as if there is nothing wrong. You may tell her what she's doing is wrong (and a mortal sin), as long as she doubts herself there is hope.

>There's a few that are flirty with me, but I don't see any good coming out of dating them.

Similar to my situation, but I have a long dryspell and might check one out. Being alone in these times is not good.

>>851888

If I can manuever the conversation in that direction, I'd certainly like to offer her some advice without getting myself in trouble at work. It is sad to see a (so-called) Christian woman leave her husband and immediately cohabit with another man, as I get the impression she knows it's wrong but can't bring herself to repent.

>>851888

>Similar to my situation, but I have a long dryspell and might check one out. Being alone in these times is not good.

There you go. You can easily fall into despair and the whole MGTOW thing with the current state of dating, which ultimately is not good for a man.

There is another, more attractive girl at work that could be a good date, but I realistically wouldn't see it working out long-term; she's a career-driven RN and doesn't strike me as being religious. Nevertheless, she's incredibly cute, has a fun personality, and shows some signs of interest, so perhaps I'll check for a ring and go from there.

>>851891

>There you go. You can easily fall into despair and the whole MGTOW thing with the current state of dating, which ultimately is not good for a man.

Yeah, I'm not extremely desperate, but not having a girl for a while hardens my heart. I'm not into all this MGTOW garbage. They have severe issues and hate women. I don't deny the reality of female nature, but it doesn't consist of bad characteristics entirely. There is a lot of beauty to the female soul, and obviously the body. I could ramble about it hours on end.

>Nevertheless, she's incredibly cute, has a fun personality, and shows some signs of interest

Go for it. You may need a strong hand with her but it could pay out quite well. Thing is, women become obsessed with career or dogs or cats because they never had the pleasure of a real man. You may give her that experience. But career women strike me as only loyal when you fornicate with them, to release their frustration and feel "deep" feelings.

>>851195

Wake up 4h30 AM.

Jog in underwear at freezing cold.

Drink three raw eggs.

For a month.

>>830585

This sounds stupid I get it, but here me out. There is plasticity to the mind. It can be bent, trained, and molded. Yes, even by yourself. Ever notice how you can think, but then a higher mind can step in and correct it? We often think only with our normal base brain, but that is your normal human thinking patterns. Your soul is your real guide. You know at that level the truth of sins or things that are wrong with you.

So the next time you imagine that big thick veiny cock inches from your mouth, imagine yourself slicing off said cock with a sword. Then visualize yourself stabbing said owner of the cock in the chest while shouting in your thoughts, “sin is evil. Leave devil”

Now repeat for months and train your mind to think ducks are sinful. Congrats, you just broke and trained your own mind.

It’s amazing how we can bend our own thoughts.

Think about it like giving yourself Stockholm Syndrome

I'm in a pretty good place in life right now, earning a decent amount of money in a low stress work from home job, have a church within walking distance, attend near daily, made some friends there. Feel like I'm good and ready to get married.

Problem is that as a Catholic, I can only get married to other Catholics. And, well, there's only a handful of young single women in my parish, I have no experience with women, etc, etc. I know I gotta talk to them at some point, but if I screw up, my chance of receiving that blessing goes more or less out the window. This is a bad frame if I'm gonna be successful and I know that, but it's the facts on the ground. These girls may just be the only girls in the whole state without an OnlyFans, but even that's not a guarantee. I should let go of my fears and trust in the Lord, but He won't stop me from walking away when the opportunity presents. How might I purge this cowardice from myself?

>>852534

You gotta start talking to the one that interests you and build things slowly until you get a gut feeling for her. You don't go over, talk for five minutes and ask her out for a date when others are around. You do one step after the other, and if she likes you but you are having difficulties opening up to her (or women in general), say that to her but not in a desperate way, but in a suave and non-apologetic way. If you overdo it with flirting to several girls, they believe you are desperate or a player and the bad reputation will haunt you until you die. Unless you meet a girl with strong character who doesn't partake in the gossip (fat chance of that), you gotta tread slowly, especially with no experience.

Also, stop porn and masturbation. The necessary aggressiveness and suaveness comes naturally over time of abstaining.

>t. talking from lots of painful experience

For further understanding of male-female sexuality I do recommend the book Love and Orgasm. There is some Freudian psychology mixed with Reichian bioenergetics. It may be not the most Christian book, but reading it gave me profound understanding of intersexual relationships. Though tread carefully, such books you cannot erase from your memory and you will see the world with very different eyes afterwards.

>>852561

> You don't go over, talk for five minutes and ask her out for a date when others are around.

I'm not dumb enough to do this, but the problem with girls is that they're never alone. I'm not sure how I'm expected to get my flirt going when their friends are always in the way.

>Also, stop porn and masturbation

I've mostly kicked it, only ten times in the past 3 months. Been clean for three weeks now. I'm not feeling much more aggressive. Maybe it's the cold, maybe it's just the fact that I'm getting up there in age.

>you will see the world with very different eyes afterwards.

doubt it. I'm already the kind of guy that would bring up Ephesians 5:22 and similar verses on a first date

>>830585

You could try psychoanlysis. Get rid of traumas through analyzing dreams and wrong sayings and the like.

Sometimes traumas can cause sexual confusion and "bisexuality" in part or something.

For example sexaul abuse when people are children can cause it, but probably other things also.

Also the water quality where I live is a disaster. It's full of female hormones due to women taking these pills that are used by them not to have kids and then they pee out female hormones and this makes the water quality like this. This can also cause sexual confusion.

And to add on to my last point: flirting with a girl in front of her friends would certainly be more difficult than simply asking her out to coffee. It strikes me as impractical and I couldn't do it… I still struggle with flirting with shy girls - it takes too much effort and I'm always trying to think of new things to say because they make me (also shy) do all the work. The nice thing about certain extroverted women is that conversations flow naturally with them, but they're a dime a dozen.

Speaking of shy girls… there's one at Mass and I'm debating whether or not I really want a relationship right now. She sits alone, but usually walks out with a crowd. Next Sunday I think I'll introduce myself, ask her a couple of questions and get a general idea of what she's like.

>>852595

>I thought you might live in a more populated area.

I do. I live in a major metropolitan area, a capitol city, even. This is likely the reason why. The pious are rarely found in such places.

>>852569

>I'm not sure how I'm expected to get my flirt going when their friends are always in the way.

Bro, you don't flirt from the get-go. You just start a conversation and go from there. Concentrate on the girl you like and they will get the hint and make you space.

>I'm already the kind of guy that would bring up Ephesians 5:22 and similar verses on a first date

You are dumb enough to this though. What do you wanna try with that? Show her you are autistic? A girl intrisically knows to obey a man, the thing is, do you have the character? Obviously not, else you wouldn't even know of this Vietnamese basket weaving forum. Read the book, give it a shot. It is more profound than just one verse from the Bible. It explains in-depth the optimal relations and dysfunctions of men and women.

>>852598

Well, that could be it.

>>852599

>Bro, you don't flirt from the get-go. You just start a conversation and go from there

True.

>A girl intrisically knows to obey a man, the thing is, do you have the character?

Also true. Indirectly asking a Catholic girl if she's submissive is gonna turn her off, and rightfully so. Be a good man, judge her character for yourself over time, and if you decide she's a keeper and if she respects you, then she'll submit to you.

>>851203

>t hypocrite

you and me both anon. thank the Lord

The other day, I found a mother walking through the park with her young son (perhaps only three years of age). For a moment, the two of us had eye contact and she seemed to smile at me. I think it's worth noting that it also appeared that she was smiling at her son as he was beginning to straggle behind her due to his little legs crippling his pace but nonetheless, I truly believed her eyes were on me for a moment.

Now, while I would rather not go for a mother and would prefer a virginal woman for a wife, I decided to court her. I approached her and attempted to smalltalk with her, asking her if she comes to the park often but she said that she's just here with her son and slightly pulled him away from me before walking on. I didn't feel comfortable accepting that this was a rejection as I thought it was possible I didn't convey my intentions properly so I decided to try once more and be more forward (but polite). I approached her again, said I thought she was pretty and would like to talk with her but she said with this pitying look (note: I'm almost 350lbs) that she's with her son and there's somewhere she has to be so she's sorry. Then she left.

At the time, I felt a bit down and just reminded myself that rejection is a part of this process but today, I had a new idea: what if when her gaze fell on me, it really was sincere but she's just protective of her son?

I know that PUA/Redpill ideas can be somewhat questionable in people's ideas but one of the ideas I think is true is that when a woman likes you, no matter how busy she actually is, she'll make time for you. When she's not into you, this won't happen. She won't try e.g. you'll message her and she won't respond until she's done everything else she wants to do and talked to everyone else she wants to, thus rendering your message unaddressed for hours, if not days. This is why I'm so certain, as she was so eager to not interact with me that she truly had no interest in me (again, note: I'm almost 350lbs). It occurred to me today though, when she jerked her son away, perhaps she's placed her son in danger before with previous, bad boyfriends, hence her hesitance?

If this is true then I wonder, is there perhaps a proper etiquette for approaching mothers when they're with their children? I assumed the son was too young to understand what was going on so I could be forward but maybe that was wrong? Even if you're being polite and calling a woman pretty, is it even acceptable to court a mother in front of her child or children? This is literally the first time I've tried to court a woman, up until this point, I only know what I know from reading about it and watching it. Did I perhaps make a blunder in trying to court a mother in front of her chlid? I'm thinking a more suave man would've found a way to be alone with the mother, and then been more forward. Like, if she's walking her child to school, I could've just accompanied her and talked about TV or w/e and then, when the child is gone, that's when I should've been more explicit about my intentions.

Thoughts?

>>853146

What is truly questionable is why you are posting here instead of

A: losing weight

B: stop being autistic

C: stop hitting on women

D: becoming a man

and

F: doing something valuable.

I didn't even read the whole post because it was that pathetic. She smelled your desperation miles away and hid her son from you because weak men are a menace to society. Stop hitting on her, just a nod, a 'hello' at most and mind your own business. If you should become a then actually adhere to Catholic dogma and don't get involved with divorced women.

>>853152

EDIT:

*If you actually become a man

>>853152

A: I found out I was diabetic in late December. Now I fear losing some toes and my eyesight. Since early January, I've lost 4kg thereby hitting my goal of losing weight at a rate of 1kg/wk. My dietary and exercise changes have been effective so, if the rate is maintained, I should be at a healthy weight by Summer next year.

C: I would've liked some female companionship for stress relief but ultimately, while the Church doesn't forbid dating without the intention of marriage, it does advise against it so you have a valid point here.

D and F: I was in the process of climbing my way out of NEETdom some years ago however my mental health issues interfered with my performance at work, leading to me causing heavy company losses at one workplace as I kept misplacing equipment which customers would steal, receiving derisive laughter at another workplace and ultimately just breaking me down. I've been unfit for work since then. My anti-psychotic medication definitely played a role in my weight gain.

Recently though, I am actually getting good enough that I'm reconsidering re-entering the work forces. Unfortunately, the "voices" still haven't gone and if I'm not careful, they can get me sucked into my daydream heavily enough for me to start talking to myself but they're not a bother like they used to be so work is something I can consider again. I'm considering a Free online programming course for now.

>don't get involved with divorced women

A single mother isn't necessarily a divorced woman.

Anyway, there is one thing I'd like to ask you about and it's really the point of the whole story:

>stop being autistic

Was it wrong then to court a mother in front of a child that's (presumably) too young to know what's going on?

Or are you just commenting on the fact that I got hopeful when I made eyecontact with a woman?

>>853162

I commented on the fact that you're socially inept and should learn a real job, like any trade and stop writing many words. I didn't read your whole post.

My engagement came to an end last night after fighting tooth and nail for the past two weeks to keep it going, but I've realized that there's no point in fighting so hard to keep things together when the other person isn't willing to even work things out. How can I move on from this? How can I find an honest orthodox woman in a majority protestant country?

>>829691

>Everyone gets a participation award, no matter how bad.

>>853162

I recommend fasting during set days of the week. I lost 50 something pounds that way. Just remember to drink fluids.

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