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/christian/ - Christian Discussion and Fellowship

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
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The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

File: 3124533931a0d3e⋯.jpeg (87.32 KB, 480x640, 3:4, 77757CFD-059D-4B13-B32D-A….jpeg)

fc2770  No.822050

Mmkay so hey folks we have a little time before this shindig begins. Few ground rules. Few tips on how to survive the coming apocalypse.

1) remember he’s coming on the clouds with fire. He’s not going to be anywhere you personally did not witness. Everybody’s going to see it so we’re clear on that.

2) relax this will all go faster if you don’t freak out.

3) there’s no such thing as “the rapture”. That was some lady with head trauma and it got out of control.

4) you’re going to see some dead relatives, remember this is not the time for a reunion, that will happen after the judgments.

5) nobody is safe from the final judgement. Everyone including me will be properly judged. Just repent now before hand and you’ll be fine.

6) when your name is called, don’t talk. Just don’t say anything unless he asks you to. If you come up bragging about what you’ve done, he’ll just send you to hell.

7) last but definitely just as important, for those who do get through, you’re going to die. It doesn’t hurt, you’ll be reborn so chill. It’s really easy.

When this does all commence, and the celebration ends you’ll go through placement. You’ll take tests where you’ll be awarded a job. Most tasks are fun enough, life will commence. Don’t be sad for those who went to hell, they had their chance.

I haven’t been given the exact moment this will all start but it’s going to be quite soon.

Oh and one more thing, any who sin in eternity, will be immediately ejected. There’s no expectation of privacy. He sees and knows all.

04eaae  No.822053

>>822052

Joke's on you. Those people are still alive.


50c8fd  No.822057

>>822050

There's just one way to have life everlasting, and it's the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow: be following Christ.

11 While they were listening to this, he went on to tell them a parable, because he was near Jerusalem and the people thought that the kingdom of God was going to appear at once. 12 He said: “A man of noble birth went to a distant country to have himself appointed king and then to return. 13 So he called ten of his servants and gave them ten minas.[a] ‘Put this money to work,’ he said, ‘until I come back.’

14 “But his subjects hated him and sent a delegation after him to say, ‘We don’t want this man to be our king.’

15 “He was made king, however, and returned home. Then he sent for the servants to whom he had given the money, in order to find out what they had gained with it.

16 “The first one came and said, ‘Sir, your mina has earned ten more.’

17 “‘Well done, my good servant!’ his master replied. ‘Because you have been trustworthy in a very small matter, take charge of ten cities.’

18 “The second came and said, ‘Sir, your mina has earned five more.’

19 “His master answered, ‘You take charge of five cities.’

20 “Then another servant came and said, ‘Sir, here is your mina; I have kept it laid away in a piece of cloth. 21 I was afraid of you, because you are a hard man. You take out what you did not put in and reap what you did not sow.’

22 “His master replied, ‘I will judge you by your own words, you wicked servant! You knew, did you, that I am a hard man, taking out what I did not put in, and reaping what I did not sow? 23 Why then didn’t you put my money on deposit, so that when I came back, I could have collected it with interest?’

24 “Then he said to those standing by, ‘Take his mina away from him and give it to the one who has ten minas.’

25 “‘Sir,’ they said, ‘he already has ten!’

26 “He replied, ‘I tell you that to everyone who has, more will be given, but as for the one who has nothing, even what they have will be taken away. 27 But those enemies of mine who did not want me to be king over them—bring them here and kill them in front of me.’”


8f1058  No.822059

No one knows the end times but Christ himself. Confess and do penance anon.


3dc54d  No.822061

>>822057

using the bible to prove the existence of a Christian God is like using the harry potter books to prove Hogwarts is real


50c8fd  No.822066

>>822061

where did THAT come from


c6c849  No.822279

>>822059

This repent and do penance for the sins of others who refuse to repent! Live everyday as if that day is the day of his return!


29782b  No.822399

>>822279

This tbh




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