Convalidation

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Convalidation Christanon 04/28/19 (Sun) 19:25:45 e98d27 No.801944

Hi /christian/, lurker/newfig here. Normally I would lurk longer, but I’m in a crisis and have no one else to ask. I was raised Catholic, left the Church after high school and and returned last year after 12 years away. I am civilly married (3 years married, 10 years living together). We are trying to get a convalidation BUT

>priest is fresh out of seminary and has no clue what he’s doing

>convalidation has a 6-month wait like a regular wedding

>$700 in various fees for classes, stipends, etc which I can barely afford

>priest has not even planned the classes we need to take for the convalidation

>call the local archdioceses for guidance on convalidation requirements

>weeks of phone tag, no help

>btw they lost my original baptism certificate, making the paperwork that much harder

>parish office never returns my calls for scheduling the convalidation

>finally get one scheduled for August, making a total of 8 months wait for us

>whole ordeal drove my wife away from attending Mass, even though she’s still willing to do the convalidation

Meanwhile

>can’t have sex with the woman I have loved for a decade

>can’t temporarily move away from her due to finances

>denied absolution for not moving away from her while we do marriage prep

>can’t go to communion due to ‘living in sin’

>no advise from the priest on how to handle any of this, he just keeps making it harder

>parish is self-absorbed, no one bothers with newcomers. I’ve made no friends there despite attending for 6 months

What I expected was a couple months of marriage prep and a quick convalidation ceremony so I can be a real Catholic again. Instead I’m in a catch-22 where I can’t receive communion or absolution until we are sacramentally married, but that gets more and more complicated. Some days I want to quit altogether. Are they trying to break up my relationship? Is this a sign I shouldn't get married? The only think getting me through is daily Rosaries and pure determination, but that’s running out fast. Have any of you dealt with the convalidation process? Is it always this complicated?

Christanon 04/28/19 (Sun) 20:21:41 524f97 No.801958

>>801944

Can you go to a different parish, preferably one with a different priest? Because yours sounds like he needs some more experience. Alternatively, go to the archdiocese or talk with your parish in person. Squeaky wheel gets the grease and all that. Also, when your in a catch-22 like this, just know that God understands your situation. Stay strong and keep praying.

Christanon 04/29/19 (Mon) 00:45:01 192bce No.802040

>>801944

Find a traditional priest who celebrates the TLM (sspx is good). They'll take your ordeal seriously and get it sorted out sooner than a Novus ordite priest would.

Christanon 04/29/19 (Mon) 00:50:36 1641de No.802041

File: 36b78f40311b825⋯.jpg (397.34 KB, 922x1188, 461:594, house.jpg)

>>801944

>I’ve made no friends there despite attending for 6 months

Any reason you're still going there?

>>802040

Blessed and SSPXpilled

Christanon 04/29/19 (Mon) 01:11:07 63c49b No.802044

>>802040

SSPX is not in communion with Rome. May as well go to a Baptist church.

Christanon 04/29/19 (Mon) 01:16:00 eb50e1 No.802046

>>801944

Is the problem simply that you can't have sex with her yet and that you can't receive communion because you're forced to cohabitate?

What's the issue here? That's perfectly normal. You are living in sin, whether you like it or not.

However, I really sympathize, regarding the $700 fees. I pray that you manage to get through that.

Christanon 04/29/19 (Mon) 13:26:11 5398b5 No.802153

>>802040

I'm sick of you SSPX Schismatics leading Catholics astray. Do not listen to them OP, find a different TLM like FSSP and stay away from these falsehoods.

Christanon 04/29/19 (Mon) 15:34:05 46c830 No.802177

File: 7a74e9d61c0b428⋯.jpeg (45.71 KB, 260x300, 13:15, 1F1AC38A-A2A5-4AD8-ACC8-F….jpeg)

>>802044

>not in communion with Rome

How is this a bad thing?

Christanon 04/29/19 (Mon) 15:41:17 8bc629 No.802179

>>802153

>Schismatics

Do schismatics pray for *their* Pope, Francis, daily at mass? Give me a break.

Christanon 04/29/19 (Mon) 16:09:37 3ea8b2 No.802188

File: 97d6a52beb98b10⋯.jpg (178.78 KB, 1280x512, 5:2, 1280px-Exterior_Mosiac_of_….jpg)

>>802177

No matter what the current pope is or isn't doing, it doesn't give you the right to exacerbate the evil even more by schism. I can give you many saints who, faced with incompetence or sins of the hierarchy, tried to help and fix the problems in the Church from within. How many saints can you list that in such situation broke away from the Church?

Christanon 04/29/19 (Mon) 17:59:02 69a2d8 No.802220

File: ed5b09182a55e66⋯.jpeg (40.71 KB, 640x370, 64:37, 3C3712AD-9CDE-4A28-8077-2….jpeg)

>>802188

>As Chrysostom himself said, “ ‘Fortify one another.’ If a catechumen is sick with this disease, let him be kept outside the church doors. If the sick one be a believer and already initiated, let him be driven from the holy table. . . . The wounds that have festered and cannot be cured, those which are feeding on the rest of the body, need cauterization with a point of steel” (Adversus Judaeos II.III.6).

Christanon 04/30/19 (Tue) 03:07:30 3ca3f9 No.802372

>>801958

>>802041

I'm going to this parish mostly because it is close. I have an awful commute and don't want to spend Sundays in the car again. There is a Latin mass parish in the next city, and a non-schismatic one at that, so I might give that a try sometime despite the drive.

>>802040

Oh sure, I'll get my invalid civil marriage invalidly blessed by a schismatic priest! That solves everything lol

>>802046

The problem is that it will have taken 8 months, hundreds of dollars and weeks of phone tag when it should have taken 2 months, a modest stipend and a few visits with the priest. I get the sacramental rules, but not being put through a bureaucratic gauntlet

>>802153

>>802188

>>802044

Amen, I grew up with SSPX type and they were part of what drove me way from the Church back in the day. Great liturgies but totally out of touch with the needs of the world while they sit in their ivory tower. Sure we have a bad Pope now but does that mean you act like Protestants rebelling at the Borgia popes? Did the Apostles abandon Peter for denying Christ three times? Bad popes are a punishment for loss of faith, and we deserve that punishment for loosing the culture wars of the 20th century. Now we get to fight an uphill battle while we restore the Church to her former glory. That's part of why I'm sticking to my local parish, I deserve the guitar Masses after all my years away, it's my mess to fix. If my reaction was to run from it rather than fix it, I'm the problem in the Church.

Christanon 04/30/19 (Tue) 03:51:17 5398b5 No.802382

>>802179

I known non TLM priests that prayed for the Pope, Rome, and the wrong doings committed by men. You must remember men are imperfect, but the Lords Church is always right.

Christanon 04/30/19 (Tue) 03:52:44 5398b5 No.802383

>>802372

Catholics back then had to travel miles on foot just to reach a validated Mass, so try to remember that you may keep your strength.

Christanon 05/01/19 (Wed) 01:38:06 192bce No.802670

>>802372

>Amen, I grew up with SSPX type and they were part of what drove me way from the Church back in the day. Great liturgies but totally out of touch with the needs of the world while they sit in their ivory tower. Sure we have a bad Pope now but does that mean you act like Protestants rebelling at the Borgia popes? Did the Apostles abandon Peter for denying Christ three times? Bad popes are a punishment for loss of faith, and we deserve that punishment for loosing the culture wars of the 20th century. Now we get to fight an uphill battle while we restore the Church to her former glory. That's part of why I'm sticking to my local parish, I deserve the guitar Masses after all my years away, it's my mess to fix. If my reaction was to run from it rather than fix it, I'm the problem in the Church.

Are you just making shit up? Sspx priests don't sit in towers of ivory, they haven't abandoned the pope, they pray for him at mass.

You're not going to restore the church by attending a sacrilegious guitar mass but you will damage the your own faith and risk your soul with questionable sacrements and heretical teachings.

Christanon 05/01/19 (Wed) 19:40:08 83b7aa No.802863

>>802670

Your church isn't in good standing with the Holy See. Tell me, why are you so adamant for people to be SSPX? Why not any TLM church that is IN good standing with the church?

Christanon 05/01/19 (Wed) 19:47:14 3add5e No.802865

Hot take: Church sacraments other than Baptism, the Eucharist, and Holy Orders are good to have but not actually needed. Baptism can be done by any Christian who isn't a heretic if needed.

Marriage is between a man and a woman and doesn't need validation, especially from a Church that would grant inappropriate annulments, or charge a young couple several thousands of dollars (out of the dowry? Nah, Boomers don't do dowries) so they can be charged much more by the government and give the woman the moral hazard of government divorce.

I would suggest that people get baptized by some prot group before quietly walking into a real church, and not waste anyone's time attention whoring in God's house.