>>795670
If he judges you for your sins, it is a sin for him, but is it a bad thing for you? Christ will judge you with much more strength if you hide your sins and do not repent of them.
>so my penance could be to turn myself in, what then? What do?
Accept the penance and turn yourself in? It is expected of murderers, it is expected of thieves, why should you escape it?
If you are not ready yet to kneel in front of Jesus Christ and accept whatever medecine He deems to be good for you, if you are not willing to let the fire of the Holy Spirit purify you and burn away the evil within you, you have not repented yet, and therefore going to confession would mean nothing at all. It would be more healthy for you to wait to wholly realize you have messed up by leaving the house of the Father, and return to Him with tears and the willigness to accept even the harshest punishment, rather than to hastily give a half-hearted confession, receive no grace from the sacrament, and commune unworthily to the Body and Blood of Christ and therefore earn eternal punishment.
When David realized that he messed up when the prophet Natan told him, his confession to God was not "I sinned by harming another's body and failing to keep chast", but "my sin is always before me", and "in iniquity I was conceived", and "a broken heart is the only sacrifice You want". And of course, in the sacrament of confession, you confess to Christ but the priest is there to witness it, but, if you're still not ready to submit to your priest and make yourself vulnerable to him in that way, if you're still not ready to obey St Paul when he tells you to "submit to one another", do you really think you could spend an eternity worshipping God with him, both of you being members of the same Body?
Do not fear humiliation. Christ was humiliated to the extreme, and He was perfectly innocent.
You may also want to read this:
https://www.reddit.com/r/Christianity/comments/b5e00u/the_difference_between_repentance_and_guilt/