Feel Doomed and Don't Know Where to Turn

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Feel Doomed and Don't Know Where to Turn Christanon 01/31/19 (Thu) 16:09:02 aced1e No.764398

Hi Christian anons. I've struggled with my sexuality for quite some time and it's caused me a great deal of depression. I'm currently not Christian, I'm really interested in Nietzschean Paganism and the like. But the more I see how cursed everything seems to be in modern society the more I think Christianity might be true. Going back to my sexuality problem I had a homosexual experience as a kid and eversence then I fallen deeper into and recently have had thoughts of trans stuff. Last night I had a dream I was back with all my friends from when I was young and was telling them how much I hated the future and wish I could go back and change everything. Also in the dream I remember wanting to be with a girl that I had liked, after waking up I was more than convince this is all a mental illness and my subconscious was really trying to get through to me.

There are many other issues I have but I also have both hope and despair in Christianity and I would really like to have a conversation with either a Catholic or Orhtodox as that's what I'm most familiar with. I don't have Discord but I gotta Skype and it would mean the world if someone would be willing to talk with me. Where do I begin lads, what do I do. I feel like I'm living in a hellscape of a reality.

Christanon 01/31/19 (Thu) 16:28:15 f47bf0 No.764403

>I think Christianity might be true

It is and you are not alone. I recommend finding an Orthodox church and going to as many services as possible. Regular exposure to the liturgy over a period of time will change you in ways that you couldn't hope to do by your will alone. Your instinct is correct, God is waiting for and can heal you. All you have to do is be willing.

Christanon 01/31/19 (Thu) 16:29:14 e9f6f4 No.764404

You don't have to be afraid that you can't be saved.

Christanon 01/31/19 (Thu) 16:35:49 aced1e No.764405

>>764403

To be fair I am more fond of Orthodoxy than anything else but he closest one near me is

like an hour away. But I can walk to a Catholic church that has Latin mass 3 times a week.

Christanon 01/31/19 (Thu) 16:40:48 f47bf0 No.764407

>>764405

In most things, it's easier to do something that is not sufficient for the healing of your soul, just like it's easier to eat at McDonald's than to seek out and prepare food that is truly nourishing to your body. If you make the effort, you will be rewarded.

Christanon 01/31/19 (Thu) 16:41:09 e607eb No.764408

>>764405

>latin mass

The priests there are probably uncompromising about the Faith. Try to get appointments with one of them and ask him all of your questions, he will be of invaluable help to you.

Christanon 01/31/19 (Thu) 16:44:59 aced1e No.764411

>>764408

I'm considering it but I feel like I'm just using Christianity as a crutch. I mean I don't really believe in it, although I wish I did sometimes. Feels bad man.

Christanon 01/31/19 (Thu) 16:45:59 e607eb No.764413

And take what >>764407 says with a grain of salt. Better to start somewhere than have to drop out because going to THE CHURCH is too much effort. You have a long way to go before you can ask yourself questions of ecclesiology, and if you can't easily go to the Church you want to go to regularly, demons will lovingly exploit that.

For full disclosure I am telling you this as a catholic.

Christanon 01/31/19 (Thu) 16:50:55 e607eb No.764416

>>764411

>I wish i did believe sometimes.

That may be more than half the path. I've started there when I thought I could be Christian purely for political reasons.

It's like being afraid of going to the dentist because of his possible reaction. The priest has probably had people come to him for much worse reasons, just like the dentist has probably seen much worse looking teeth than yours. Just give it a try.

Christanon 01/31/19 (Thu) 20:50:16 aced1e No.764467

>>764416

>>764413

OP back sorry about late reply. The problem is that I don't really believe in Christianity a lot of it seems pretty extravagant or concoctions of the church. Idk man it seems kinda life denying and slavish. Or maybe I've been reading too much Neetch.

Christanon 02/01/19 (Fri) 03:12:17 fd0de9 No.764571

File: bec773ced70e5b5⋯.jpg (3.37 MB, 1793x8441, 1793:8441, 1531282246928.jpg)

>Homosexual trans-curious pagan

It writes itself. Jokes aside, Catholicism is the truth and you'll find that you're not alone in your affliction. There are some Catholics I know (in the laity) who struggle with same sex attraction and thus choose to live a chaste life unless they were to somehow become heterosexuals. They see it as their cross to bear for reasons that they may never fully understand, as we all do. However, if you continue down this path it will make you a statistic of depression, drug use, sexual disease contraction, and, ultimately, suicide. Thus you must forever reject this mortally sinful impulse. Pic related.

Christanon 02/01/19 (Fri) 14:40:32 aced1e No.764713

>>764571

Hey I read that whole article. I'm just so lost I don't even know what to say really. I was going to meet up with my bf last night but told him I have other plans. This is all so cursed. Why do I have to be this way…

Christanon 02/01/19 (Fri) 18:36:14 b2e1c1 No.764802

>>764713

Do you perhaps have a throwaway Skype or Discord? Maybe having someone to talk to or keep you accountable might help.

Christanon 02/03/19 (Sun) 04:41:40 a24064 No.765534

>>764398

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezQjNJUSraY

Don't fell so bad OP

Christanon 02/03/19 (Sun) 18:14:34 6c759f No.765751

>>764467

Stop the pity party. Clear your schedule, walk to the Catholic Church. Sit at the back during Mass and observe, then go up to the priest and ask if he could speak with you. Just tell the truth.

Christanon 02/03/19 (Sun) 18:22:38 254f4d No.765754

>>765751

This. And they will help you.

unironically run away if the priest name is James Martin though

Christanon 02/03/19 (Sun) 21:09:40 e015de No.765839

>>764398

Without giving the gory details, do you mean you and some other kid were doing stuff or were you raped?

Christanon 02/13/19 (Wed) 19:30:58 aced1e No.770462

>>764802

I know this is a really late reply but I do and I'd love to talk with somebody if you'd be willing to talk.

Christanon 02/13/19 (Wed) 19:46:15 aced1e No.770473

>>770462