When I was 11 I was sexually abused by a priest and a teacher at my church on three separate occasions. I won't go into details because it is graphic........ I have never ever told anyone this ever. Nobody actually knows as I am way too ashamed to tell any

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Christanon 01/04/19 (Fri) 07:26:16 ccd0d4 No.751360

When I was 11 I was sexually abused by a priest and a teacher at my church on three separate occasions. I won't go into details because it is graphic…….. I have never ever told anyone this ever. Nobody actually knows as I am way too ashamed to tell anyone about it. I will probably never tell anybody to tell the truth. But I think it really did winnie the pooh me up. When I was a teen I physically harmed myself and fell into deep despair. I have done multiple suicide attempts. As the years have gone by I taught myself to accept it. Still I get anxiety when I drive by churches sometimes. I don't really come on this board often since I don't actively practice religion. But lately I did pick up a Bible and began reading. I feel like I want to have faith. I want to. But if there is a God, why did he allow one of his priests to abuse me? Why does he allow an entire church that he apparently loves to do horrendous crimes? It's honestly not just the RCC but Christianity and religion in general. I'm sorry I'm rambling. I guess I do that when I talk about this. But I guess what I'm trying to say is deep inside me I want to find faith but with all this evil in the world, especially in religion which is supposedly established by the divine, what do I do? I just have this deep urge in me to go to church but at the same time I am so afraid to do so. I haven't been inside a church in many many years. Anyway sorry for the ramble.

Christanon 01/04/19 (Fri) 08:38:59 01496b No.751385

Are you male or female? Also, do you know why this happened? Was you a shy kid and seemed like a easy target or something? I never understood how these happened. But honestly, I'm sorry this happened to you, I'll pray and hope things get better.

Christanon 01/04/19 (Fri) 09:20:19 9b12c6 No.751396

>>751360

God allowed one of his Priests, Judas, to help killing him. It was necessary. God COULD restrict people form doing evil acts, but then there's no point to being on Earth because all goodness is false and it would be like living in a artificial place.

That being said, why are you taking this "to the grave"? Are you afraid that when you'll tell someone what happened, you'll remember what happened? Is it something else? You're definitely allowed to speak about loudly and in public if you want.

Christanon 01/04/19 (Fri) 09:45:42 e0ad65 No.751406

File: 8897a257118efa4⋯.jpg (90.63 KB, 650x876, 325:438, On_internet_nobody_knows_y….jpg)

I wish I could take people in good faith on the internet but pic related.

Christanon 01/04/19 (Fri) 09:47:29 9b12c6 No.751408

File: 48a080950b0045d⋯.jpg (447.85 KB, 1000x1891, 1000:1891, 1465330982364.jpg)

>>751406

Why would you not take him in good faith?

If he isn't serious, then what? You'll have been trolled and that'll be the end of your life?

Christanon 01/04/19 (Fri) 09:47:44 b3ed7d No.751410

File: 08039dc2f2c1c26⋯.jpg (89.07 KB, 765x510, 3:2, christ carrying the nazi s….jpg)

>>751360

>When I was 11 I was sexually abused

That's a horrible trauma, you must talk to someone about this.

>I have never ever told anyone this ever

>I am way too ashamed to tell anyone about it

>I will probably never tell anybody to tell the truth

You LITERALLY need to talk to a professional. See a psychiatrist if you don't have family, good friends or a priest you trust with your utmost privacy. The world doesn't need to know this, but you need to get it off your chest.

>I physically harmed myself and fell into deep despair

>I have done multiple suicide attempts

Don't ever worry about that. Once you overcome this, it will be meaningless to even think about the past.

>I get anxiety when I drive by churches sometimes

Take a break from church going. Find a Bible study community or something like that.

>I did pick up a Bible and began reading

Best decision of your life.

>I want to have faith

Everyone needs to have faith.

>But if there is a God, why did he allow one of his priests to abuse me?

The problem of evil, study that. You honestly think you're the only victim of injustice in life? I literally know people who have survived FAR worse trauma than you, and they're all right, good people because they beat their past.

>why did he allow one of his priests to abuse me

winnie the pooh that priest. He's a piece of shit scumbag and if you had been a real G, you would have told the police, but I can understand why you wouldn't do that out of the sheer shock from your trauma.

>It's honestly not just the RCC but Christianity and religion in general

Look. I read your port and you literally have little to no idea about Christianity beyond dull doctrine. Read your Bible and study the faith more, solely to overcome your trauma. Do not be afraid to ask questions, but be prepared to find the answers yourself and live with them.

>I want to find faith but with all this evil in the world

On a more practical note, nearly every newcomer to the faith has these feelings. With time and effort, you'll understand far more than you currently imagine.

>what do I do?

Find someone to have a multiple talk therapy about your trauma.

Read your Bible and pray daily, learn to pray.

Study. Christianity, motivation, character building, anything you want, but study.

>I just have this deep urge in me to go to church

Honestly what what you're telling here, the church hasn't helped you. Sort yourself out first, then go back.

>I haven't been inside a church in many many years

I know devout Christians who don't go there on principal.

Don't worry about the church, the church is fine.

Worry about how can God help you.

Christanon 01/04/19 (Fri) 09:50:06 e0ad65 No.751412

It's the pearls before swine thing that bugs me. If you're interacting with a troll in a serious discussion they'll try to lead you astray in all sorts of ways and you'll never even know why.

Christanon 01/04/19 (Fri) 10:00:14 9f5dae No.751415

>>751360

Since the original sin mankind is bound to sin, that ranges from the smallest disobedience to God to the most horrendous things imaginable. Only through the victory at golgata is it possible for us to even live a life pleasing to the most high. But this does not mean that all those professing Christianity cant sin, they still have the free will to choose between good and evil.

Sadly the secularization and so-called "sexual liberation" in western societies also highly affects the Church and continues to do massive damage. It's important to remember that not even the Pope is sanctified by just being Pope (St.Gregory the VII. was most definitively wrong on this), they can and do sin. What was done to you and too many others should be worthy of excommunication.

I hope and pray that God leads your way back not only into the Church, but also a parish which celebrates Holy Mass in good intentions and without corruption.

Christanon 01/04/19 (Fri) 12:01:25 38937a No.751440

>>751360

>why did God let this happen to me?

Although no one here can say for sure, my best guess is possibly because it caused you to come here, and maybe this board can get you back into the faith. I of course can’t blame you for being hesitant, but I STRONGLY sugggest at least watching a service online from the comfort of your home.

>Why does he allow an entire church that he apparently loves to do horrendous crimes?

The sexual assaults come from a small minority of the church; not all Christians are pedophiles just like not all Muslims are terrorists.

>sorry to ramble

Don’t be. We’re here to listen to you and help guide you on the right path towards Christ. May He be with you and help get your faith back. I’ll be praying for you

Christanon 01/04/19 (Fri) 12:03:45 38937a No.751442

>>751410

Absolutely amen

Christanon 01/04/19 (Fri) 12:16:24 003866 No.751444

>why did God allow this to happen to me?

This world we live in was designed with suffering as a product of our fallen nature. It can't be prevented for if all suffering could be prevented, our lives would be meaningless and we would have no free will. Please read the book of Job for an explanation on why bad things cab happen to good people.

TL;DR God allows suffering in this world to test out faith. If we pass we will be rewarded 10x in blessings from our Father in heaven.

I'm terribly sorry that you had to experience that.

>why would men of God commit sure horrible acts?

I hate to be "that guy" but the reason why they keep getting away with it is because victims are too afraid to confront their abuser. The future is now, OP. You can help clean out God's finest from the sodomite filth but you have to be brave and tell your story to the authorities. Even if the statue of limitations had passed your bravery can inspire other victims to come forward and fight back agianst this synagogue of Satan.

Christanon 01/04/19 (Fri) 13:36:35 c13a06 No.751467

winnie the pooh pedo "priests". They'll get what they deserve after death.

Christanon 01/04/19 (Fri) 13:44:40 c13a06 No.751468

File: 3227fc77171c8b4⋯.jpg (39.66 KB, 625x715, 125:143, Dkz4PuoU4AA8ezv.jpg)

The problem here is that these men aren't men of God and never were.

They just joined the church with an agenda at mind. They care not about Christ, or truth, they just use it to get power, and since they are gay they can't resist to kids because all gays are pedophiles.

That's why I'd trust more on a priest out of the seminar today then some priest with more than 50 years. Because the new ones actually got into the church because they really believe even though the world tells them otherwise.

It was a strike of a genius to make it seem the church would follow the Anglican path (no offense Anglo bros) and liberalise everything. These same gay people saw the church as a platform to spread their crap through 1.2 billion catholics.

Thank God things are changing and I hope they get all the pedos and hang them in a public square.

Christanon 01/04/19 (Fri) 22:28:22 e11b49 No.751609

>>751360

I think what happened to you is horrible. I too hate Catholics, but for other reasons. Have faith in Christ, and let's pray and work together for the extermination of Catholics!

>what do I do?

Become part of an anti-Catholic denomination, Orthodox or traditional Protestant will do.

Christanon 01/05/19 (Sat) 02:00:46 214ee4 No.751684

File: 50f8093fb593f20⋯.jpg (111.5 KB, 456x750, 76:125, okay.jpg)

>>751360

>why does bad stuff happen

Do not shed a tear for those wiped away with His fury who did not know His grace.

But we will shed a tear of joy for you because you are close to being saved and finding some modicum of peace. Hang in there buddy.

Christanon 01/07/19 (Mon) 19:02:36 38bfa9 No.752999

>>751440

>but I STRONGLY sugggest at least watching a service online from the comfort of your home.

This seems to be a vary odd thing to strongly suggest to the anon, surely recommending him just researching and reading on basic tenets of the faith, character of God, story and plan of salvation as revealed in the bible, basic arguments and evidences for why it's true as well as prayer, is the most important thing to do rather than watching mass on yt?

Christanon 01/07/19 (Mon) 19:17:20 38937a No.753007

>>752999

The dude isn’t well versed in the faith. Therefore I’d recommend he’d watch a livestream of a church service or mass to start out with, and get into the Word whenever he feels it best so he can have an example of interpreting scripture. He can start out in the Word, but he may be suprised when he sees “stone the non-virgin” in Deuteronomy and gets the wrong idea.