>>677325
This you have to weather, don't think for a moment that our faith is going to be easy, virtue that isn't tested is NOT virtue, the point of virtue is that you resist the evil voice in your head. When your brain tells you that he isn't near or real, tell yourself that it's just your feeble human mind rebelling against him, we are not our brains and our minds want to work off logic NOT faith, but we as Christians walk by faith, so the mind is prone to deceiving us. Live as though he lives within you, his promise needs to be your motivation no matter how distant he feels.
>In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ; 1 Peter 1:6-7
OP, this is the same for all of us, we're going to struggle for that is how you refine any metal – through the fire. Remember the Book of Job and if you haven't read it yet please do so. Our struggle as Christians is very real so don't think you're alone but you MUST persevere. We're going to come out of this war bloodied, beaten and with half of our limbs missing, but our reward will be worth it.