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For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
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The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

File: 4731af0d121beaf⋯.png (27.93 KB, 701x598, 701:598, newphone.png)

5536ee No.649980

I'm writing this post because I believe a lot of people, like myself, have fallen into this particular trap. It's kind of a note-to-self too, because I realized that i've struggled with this for a very long time, and it would have been solved earlier but the misinterpretation of Christian teaching was keeping everything sort of complicated. I believe that some of the psychological problems, which the type of is common to introverted people, stem from this issue. And i'd say that the Church (generally) hasn't payed much attention because, the answer to the question i've asked for so long, was somehow taken for granted. I'm not saying it's the fault of the priests and spiritual fathers, but I believe it's simply the reality.

This problem, even though technically it could have existed 3000 years ago in the same scale as it does now, is now presented with the ideal "atmosphere" in which it could develop. The advent of computers has somewhat directed people to spending more time at home, where they spend time not only on their hobbies, but where they work to make a living as well. Even though this is not always the case, technology has made human contact detached and we're used to talking to people by pushing buttons on a touchscreen. We've replaced the human feel and touch with pixels and sounds coming from a speaker. Even when we go out with friends, we resort to playing around with our phones instead of enjoying a normal conversation with each other. With nothing better to do, we show them a funny picture or video if it happens to arise, then continue staring at the phone.

Therefore, I will try to explain what the actual issue is and what it has to do with my (personal) journey to Christianity, with an excerpt from a text: (source http://www.manastir-lepavina.org/vijest.php?id=49)

"Religious people, especially novices, often think that they are not allowed to be attached to be anything other than God, their reasoning being that love towards people comes with suffering. That sort of view is completely incorrect. God doesn't, in any way, encourage a life without suffering. That sort of ambition isn't typical for Christianity, but for the ancient stoics. Christ especially loved his disciple John. He wept over the dead Lazarus. Therefore, a powerful, "spiritual" promise of a life without suffering is simply - a myth. If you wish to shield your heart, do not surrender it to a human nor an animal, but then it won't be in the dominion of God, but rather be in subtle slavery of sinful desires and a slave to the demon of self-love.

Of course, every kind of love can become intemperate, but that also means "unmindful" or "too great". Natural love is immoderate when we choose it instead of God, if a time comes when we are faced with such a choice. It should be discarded when it gets in the way of serving the Lord. Let us remember Christ's words about hating one's loved ones (Luke 14:26).

Our "hate" towards our loved ones should consist in not heeding them when they ask us to change our promises to Christ. They may consider this hate, but this does not at all contradict the commandment "Honor thy father and thy mother." (Exodus 20:12), and the commandment of loving our neighbor."

5536ee No.649986

File: 9a2cf4327cf7a79⋯.jpg (89.36 KB, 900x670, 90:67, maslow-5.jpg)

So, personally, my problem had mainly to do with the first part of the text. When one reads ascetic literature, one of the main focuses is keeping your desires in check, not being attached to food, abstaining from lust, abstaining from laziness, not being attached to worldly possessions, etc. So, one can falsely believe, as the author of the text suggested, that we are not to be attached to humans, or more specifically, human love. (I'd say that the desire for honor among humans, or vainglory, is another thing.)

The image to the right is Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Discarding aside that psychology pays little attention to religious needs of man (although this is what he meant with Self Actualization), pay attention to how low on the pyramid he sets the human need for love, for intimacy, for friendship. I think it's safe to say, it's among some of the basic human needs. Babies that were not loved, scientists say, have difficulty growing up and very often end up having diseases. Children that were not loved will end up with psychological problems. Think about the neurological and physiological effects a simple hug has on the human body. It's amazing, right? Think about being in love, think about the times you had a romance and everything was just perfect. Quite literally, it's a very sort of "high" feeling, and biochemistry of the brain confirms this.

So, what we conclude of this is that, enjoying the presence of other people is not a sin. Quite the opposite, civilization today has led people to grow distant from one another. And I do not believe this is what Christian writers had in mind when they said to be watchful and guard the thoughts and heart.


5536ee No.649995

File: 934bf2bc976a160⋯.jpg (1.81 MB, 1920x1080, 16:9, b8b9c9e2796b0862793d781346….jpg)

The conclusion is, that, whatever stance we do take, we have in ourselves implanted, the need for other humans. "The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.' " (Genesis 2:18) Be honest with your self, and think of all the times the "tfw no gf" thought crossed your mind. I've thought this thought all of the time. Think of all the times you've been sad because of this. I've tried to abolish this desire, thinking it was evil, but it was impossible to drive it out, because whatever I did, I always yearned for a woman. I always yearned for friendship. I thought that I was just attracted to the loud music at parties, the drinks, the way women reveal their bodies at them, but that was just one part of the coin. I yearned for another human being, and stupidly, I thought it was evil. So I let no one in, I didn't get attached to anyone. Beyond everything, I wished to be self sufficient. But below it all, the desire that wasn't satisfied kept me feeling sad.

Well, now I tell you, self sufficiency, at least for us living in the world, is a flat out lie. Luckily, we can change our poor habits. Depending on your age, you have different focuses in life. Some of us wish desperately for a girlfriend. Some wish for a child. Some simply want a friend by their side. And that is good - keep that desire.

What I'd advise, if you are in a similar spot, start small. First, start with your parents. Spend some time with them. They will appreciate it too. Then, you can go on to socialize more with friends you already know. Enjoy in their presence. There's nothing wrong about it. At church, try to talk to people before the service starts. A little chit chat before everyone focuses on prayer won't do harm. Next, talk to girls, in general. You probably don't have the confidence to "cold approach" a girl on the street, and that's fine. Sometimes, you can find that the pick-up artists are saying to not become only skillful with girls, but with people in general. That's what you're sort of trying to do here. From our parents, to siblings, to friends, all we are doing is to learn to discard our fear of connection, or rather, our unwillingness to connect. So it does take time, but gradually, there must be some sort of progress.

Keep in mind, this cannot become the alternative to our connection with God. In my view of things, God is someone we need spiritually, while we need people psychologically.

What if the one you loved so much leaves you? Don't despair. I believe that this need for love is instinctual (it doesn't bind to specific objects). Therefore, if you are truly hungry, any type of food will do. If your girlfriend left you, go hang out with your friends. With time, you'll forget about her. I don't have much to add, that was basically what I wanted to say. I just felt so crippled emotionally, and if anyone else feels like that too, I believe this might be the "cure".


1696c4 No.650001

File: 3e3575b4b4ab4a4⋯.jpg (2.84 MB, 3840x2400, 8:5, priest.jpg)

>he wants a woman in his life


389037 No.650008

>>650001

r9k begone


5a2c51 No.650014

>>650001

>he wants a woman in his life

How would you describe your relationship with your mother?


8331ab No.650062

>>649980

>three paragraphs in

I'm not going to read all that regurgitated nonsense. What exactly do you want? Say it one sentence.

If it's about girlfriends: Sex outside of marriage is sin. Craving sex is sin. Sex using contraceptives is sin. Having any kind of relationship for the purpose of ego gratification is sin.


c6be92 No.650114

File: 17f46d5af2d7674⋯.jpg (15.21 KB, 200x200, 1:1, I came here to bark at you.jpg)

>Needing anyone except God

For some of us simply won't be accepted by others no matter how hard we try.


21d1c4 No.650122

>>649980

Actually familial and friendly attachments are one of the most difficult things to get past. Luke 14:26 says all of this doesn't ultimately matter. I struggle with it but I wouldn't say that fostering greater social bonds is especially Christian, sad as that is to say. It could certainly be a stepping stone, for someone coming out of a phase of misanthropy but ultimately we are calling to let go of our relations.


52e2c4 No.650127

Joke's on you; I have autism, so I don't need anyone else but God.

Seriously though, what are you trying to say? That we need other people ot experience fulfilment? Of course we do. Friendship is considered one of the greatest assets of a Christian life, especially when it is based on a mutual love of God.

I think you are jumping a bit too far ahead into the ascetic concerns of Christianity, because this is most certainly the "hard food" of the spiritual life that St Paul refers to when he talks to the Corinthians (1 Cor 3:2). If you are a 20-something Christian, for example, that is just starting to get into the faith, then unless you have been given a singularly powerful grace from the Lord, you are not expected to live life like St Francis or St Anthony. This is also why many scholars and theologians talk about the three stages of spiritual life, being purgative, illuminative and unitive stages. Most people who are sincere in faith seldom get past the second stage, as the third is pretty much solitarism or more extreme forms of monasticism, and even then you wouldn't reach this stage until decades of prayer, direction, meditation, and receipt of the sacraments.

If for example you are a convert, then it's best that you either don't immediately read stuff like The Philokalia, the Way of the Solitary, the Spiritual Combat etc.and keep them until you (or more importantly your spiritual director) feel that you can handle them. Or if you do, read them as goals to move towards and what you can expect along the way. Don't simply expect that you can become like St Teresa of Avila after a week.

This is too much for you, and would only serve to hinder your progress in the spiritual life. It would be like going to the gym for the first time and deciding that you can start out lifting the heaviest weights.

tl;dr - no one reasonably expects you to simply drop everything right now and go innawoods. Start slowly and seriously.


21d1c4 No.650130

>>650127

You're probably right. I spend a lot of time worrying about if I am descending into Prelest.


52e2c4 No.650141

>>650130

You are right, that we can't be really self-sufficient in the most common meaning of the phrase, because that is basically Pelagianism.

As Christians, we are automatically plural. Even if you live alone in the back of beyond, you are never without the comfort and intercession of the saints, the angels, our Lady and especially the Lord, but the Lord in His wisdom obviously understands the goodness inherent in physical friendship and companionship, to the point that you should even be willing to give your life for them. But in reality you are never alone.

If you are worried about prelest, perhaps speak with a spiritual director. Perhaps also follow the words of St John the Apostle and test the spirits and see if there is any truth in what you feel you are being led to believe (1 John 4:1). Speaking as a scrupulous, I know that it's not easy to just "explain away" the deceptions because then you fall into a further trap of "well what if I'm just deceiving myself and I don't know it?" which just leads to spiritual paralysis.

I will pray that you find your peace, anon. God bless you.


21d1c4 No.650200

>>650141

I meant you are right that new converts should not be immediately introduced to concepts like Prelest. Unfortunately I was an /x/phile so I have all of the deceptions in mind at once.


a3a89a No.650208

>>649980

>wordswordswords

>I'm lonely boohoo tfwnogf whining

The only thing a Christian needs in this life is God, if you want relationship advice >>650206


cd2277 No.650217

As much as i enjoy the idea of getting accepted i dont think its possible.


0b0a5e No.650221

>>650127

>tl;dr - no one reasonably expects you to simply drop everything right now and go innawoods. Start slowly and seriously.

Indeed, but OP is a faggot and let me explain why. Self sufficiency isn't a myth, just two hundred years ago there were farmers who were entirely seperate. The only thing that changed is the (((babylonians))) have tried making it illegal to be seperate as 2 corinthians 6:14-17 demands

>Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

>And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?

>And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.

>Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you,

Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye seperate, saith the Lord. An example of seperateness in relation to the physical is proverbs 5:15

>Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well.

Also try to avoid lamentation 5:4

>We have drunken our water for money; our wood is sold unto us.


270bf4 No.650234

File: 04e8bb71ca938cd⋯.jpg (46.42 KB, 500x500, 1:1, 04e8bb71ca938cdd6a6cf762b5….jpg)

>>649986

>tfw at the bottom of the pyramid

>mrw mongrel, cannot find belonging in neither nation of ethnicity nor place of birth nor where I am now

>cannot even do anything right

>cannot even love God right

Just…


21d1c4 No.650245

>>650234

Don't worry about Maslow. He's just another his psychoanalytical goon.


5536ee No.650313

>>650127

Well, yes, that's my point - we can't be fulfilled without others. But it seems no one agrees with me. I spoke with my priest about this, he said that being attached to, for example money, is sinful as opposed to being attached to another human. Mainly because humans are the image of God.




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