/ausneets/ - Aus NEETs

CHEESY CRUST PENIS

(pepe on my dick)

nigga u cray cray

Off to meet the day, have a good one NEETs. See you this arvo.

>>34004

Have a good day.

>>34004

Have a good one mate. I await your return.

>>33890

Excellent banner. Nice work.

>>34009

Good morning mate.

>>33984

When will the work on the car be done?

>>34010

Did you like my pepers anon? These two always make me laugh, especially with how cheeky he looks scooping up that coffee, its pure gold

>>34011

I will endeavor to organise it today to take place in the next couple of days.

I may persist with public transport for a while. I just calculated it would cost $36.20 for a week. Filling the car up on Saturday morning costs around $60, depending on the price of fuel and what other trips I have made during the week.

This will probably last until I encounter my first crazy person or Adelaide Metro fucks up spectacularly.

>tfw severely depressed

>>34012

I always enjoy Peep and appreciate any Peepers I see. But I cannot say that particular style of Peep is my favourite.

>>34013

What do you do to occupy yourself while on the train/bus?

>>34016

wank

>>34016

Stare out of the window.

>>34018

Perhaps you could take a book to read.

>tfw severely impressed

>>34020

what impressed you lad?

>>34002

that sounds a lot like that pink guy song

and good morning to everyone that're waking up

>>34022

Good morning Karen

>>34024

Good morning.

>>34021

It's a new day, I am trying to keep a positive mindset that something great is going to happen even though it wont otherwise I will end up >tfw depressed

>>34027

There are some rude Karens on google..

>>34019

Perhaps

>>34014

I have been an absolute wreck the last few nights after 8PM-9PM, always feel very refreshed in the morning though. Seems like a lot of you feel awful when you wake up, I have the opposite problem and get really emotional and moody right before I go to bed interestingly enough.

I think this is how my body tells me I'm a morning person, although I still don't listen.

I am still interested on any update on that mouse, how is he going?

>>34027

I will use screenshots until I run out of episodes.

>>34028

those are the best ones

>>34034

She's obviously not a good girl.

I jut did another session in the garden. I thought I was finished last week but I decided to lop a few branches off one more tree. It wasn't strictly my tree - it is right against the road on public property - but it was unsightly and no-one else was ever going to do it.

My handyman is coming tomorrow to remove my pile of green waste and to possum-proof my shed.

>>34038

>googling gumtree

>got a call friday last week for a job I applied to

>pretended to be busy

>asked if they can call back next week monday (today) so that I can prepare more

tfw the call may never come

>>34038

#justboomerthings

>>34038

>>34039

>tfw dad just googled gumtree

>>34042

Is your dad living in Adelaide?

>>34043

asioNEET pls

>>34043

no, Garden City

>>34045

ImpersonatorNEET fuck off

>>34040

Probably should have tried to talk then mate. They wouldn't have grilled you on the phone.

>>34046

I assumed it was an obvious enough joke to not count

>>34040

>tfw the call may never come

Why didn't you just answer it? They were probably going to ask if you wanted to come in for an interview?

>>34048

I appreciate the joke, fuckoff rescinded

>>34047

>>34049

I don't know. I had several instances where during the phone screening where they asked something like

>why do you want to work for us?

>can you provide us details about our firm's current projects that you're interested in

After several phone screens with that, I became more paranoid. Would it be a good idea if I call back around afternoon if I don't receive a call by noon?

>>34052

Those questions should be part of your background information you have gathered about the company before you apply.

>>34052

>>why do you want to work for us?

The answer to this one will almost always be the same: "Those cunts at cenno are gonna cut me off and I need money".

>>34053

I understand if it is actual in-person interview but that seems tad unreasonable for first phone screening no?

Especially since I'm also applying for other jobs at the same time and most likely they call maybe around 3-5 days after I applied. I would have forgotten details already apart from the bare minimum I put on my spreadsheet (date applied, role, firm)

>>34051

I don't think pajeet could spell models

>>34052

Naturally I'm a pretty good bullshitter but I absolutely hate it too. Phone interviews are fine but they have to let you know in advance, I hate being in the middle of something in the kitchen or backyard and then having to drop everything and bullshit with some roastie completely caught off-guard with no preparation when I likely applied a good 2 weeks ago.

>>34056

more like to search for "bobbs and vageni"

>>34058

I wonder if google stalking job neet sees a lot of that

>>34059

I had loads of searches for Indian movies and shit like that and also occasionally untranslated pajeetspeak but most of the time nah, not really.

>>34054

Sometimes, depends on the job.

>>34055

I am applying for public sector jobs and I need to address a criteria that I submit with my application. It is expected that you research the place and drop hints in the application about details you picked up. It does suck that is can be out of the blue but there is expectation that employees are ready for everything.

I think it is a good practice that any job you really want, should involve you scouring their website, news feed and social media for what is going in that place. Then why you do you want to work there you can ramble on about how you like their office set-up, their collaborative working environment and focus on health through standing desks. Showing you have an interest for the company and what they do beyond earning the bux.

>>34056

Spell checker in most browsers are miracle workers for them

fuck ive been at work for two hours and want to die

Spent all morning cleaning up vomit. Managed upchuck right through my entire wardrobe (like a shelf with some rags on it). Only way to improve that would be if I did it on the computer.

Bit shaky but no hangover.

>>34068

>fecebook

Where's a brainlet wojak when you need one.

>>34065

I'll have been at work 5 hours at 11:30.

>>34067

You need a dedicated bucket next to your bed/battlestation.

>>34067

Why do you keep doing this to yourself?

>>34068

>sydney new year 2018 live feed

Are these old searches or is that guy a brainlet?

>>34074

10 bucks from your wallet, 10 percent from your self respect

>>34072

He's obviously not doing it enough. If he was, the vomiting and hangovers would have stopped by now.

>>34077

Maybe he's slowly increasing his intake like a brainlet instead of using the more intelligent "start off getting extremely drunk and keep doing it until your tolerance catches up" technique

>>34079

Save money by reusing your fuel funnel

Any other neets had offers of a refund from their nbn providers?

>>34083

No, doesn't it only apply on 100/40 plans if you are on FTN?

I want to get a refund on my connection, I am TPG and have daily drop outs for months. The engineers at TPG think remote diagnosis will fix the problem. The installation guy from NBN had difficult with the existing line from noise but they think they can fix it. I fucking hate the NBN it's worse than the older system when you could get a technician out much easier.

While posting this I just experienced another one…

>>34084

I'm on (or as on, I guess) the 100/40 FTTN and got offered the refund so yeah I think it is. I had a lot of dropouts when I first connected (also with TPG) but it's relatively stable now so I just downgraded to the 50/20 plan.

It looks like they've really been dicked over misadvertising speeds to it wouldn't surprise me if the unstable connections will be raised as the big concern next.

>>34085

Just realized there is a message on the website anyway

>Did you purchase a TPG NBN plan on or after 1 September 2015? You may be entitled to a partial refund or be able to exit your contract without cost. TPG is providing remedies to consumers who purchased NBN Internet plans where their fibre to the node (FTTN) or fibre to the building (FTTB) connection was not capable of delivering the speeds promised.

What is it with wagies shitting at work? I walk in to take a piss and practically vomit the moment I open the interior door. 3 cunts in a row all taking the loudest shits and farts possible.

>>34087

When you've gotta go you've gotta go.

>>34085

Lucky I am on HFC and I hear static on the home phone when I pick it up. They have somehow filter out most of the static when talking on the line but you still hear it at the end when someone stops talking. There is something wrong with the equipment and if these engineers cannot solve I am taking my complaint to my a government organisation. They ring me up and tell me they did some change that fixed because the internet is now stable. So, they close the ticket and repeat the cycle that they want me to go through the diagnostic shit again.

>>34087

They are getting paid for it and they see that as a benefit.

>>34089

I remember reading about cases like that on whirlpool. It's a joke tbh

>>34087

I never get the chance to shit at work. Not that I ever need to, how fucked does your diet have to be that you can't just shit in the morning before work or at night?

>>34091

Good point, it's probably all the hipster cafe food filtering through their bodies.

>>34087

Hahahha

They are so fucking gross. I find it funny rn but its fucking gross irl. They are absolutely fucking gross and the worst part is the fucking sounds like cunts think they not there if they cant see them. The fucking farts, and groans ans heavy breath is fucking awful.

I avoid the toilet between 11.30 and 3.30. Fuck that. I only shit in the disable toilet 2 floors down or the one 3 floors undergroudn

a new round of recruiter cocktease

>tuesday last week: for a permanent, full-time contact centre role

>wednesday: not enough experience so lose out to others; offered a shittier temp admin job at a hospital

>friday: lmao position has been filled; there's another shitty temp admin job at a different division of the hospital

>now: lmao that position has also been filled; never fear, there's a temp position at a bank we will forward your resume to them

Cruisey here. On my lunch break. So far the highlight of the day has been opening the gen. Have had a stomach ache all day and I feel like I need a fart. Had a bit of a panic attack a few hours ago and went and hid in the toilet. Now I'm hiding in my car.

Phone posting is shit.

>>34091

Exactly. I'm executive-sized and have a poor diet, but I still manage to go like clockwork at home.

>>34096

>Had a bit of a panic attack a few hours ago and went and hid in the toilet. Now I'm hiding in my car.

what happened m8?

>>34096

Sounds like a wild ride

Hope the afternoon is better for you mate

>>34091

>>34092

It's the ridiculous amount of coffee they drink that JUSTs them

>>34093

> I only shit in the disable toilet

The women here have taken over the spastic toilet as their own for some reason. Really upsets that one spastic in an electric chair that comes in from time to time.

>>34096

Stick at it mate. The bad feelings will pass.

>>34098

Nothing really. Just feel trapped in a room with a bunch of people because that's what I am.

>>34090

>whirlpool

Why do most posters there sound like boomer fuckwits. Every time someone asks for advice, some cunt would be hammering in some irrelevant point rather than help the OP

>>34095

>>34094

Their toilets are generally cleaner. They will never know if you're disabled anyway (maybe autism counts as a disability).

>>34099

Yeah me too. Only three hours to go

>>34100

I always stick to one coffee in the morning and maybe one in the afternoon while working

>>34104

Because they either are boomer fuckwits or they were raised and influenced by boomer fuckwits

>>34104

>Why do most posters there sound like boomer fuckwits

because they literally are a bunch of senile boomers and bitter gen x guys, I'd say the gen x guys that bitch and moan in the jobs and education board are even more intolerable than the boomers that are in all the lifestyle and hobby sub-forums.

Disgusting people honestly, Whirlpool gives new insight into how the upper class of society is just as awful to be around in their own way.

>>34102

Cheers mate.

Glad I opened the gen.

Thanks for improving my spirits NEETs.

>>34107

I wish I was in an electric chair tbh

>>34109

I can improve everyone's spirits except my own.

The kind NEET's curse.

>>34113

I suspect he was referring to the execution device..

>>34114

I was but if you can do fully sick drifts in the cripplechair I'll take that too

Karma will get you NEETs who mock the crippled.

>>34117

>tfw you karma yourself into dspbux

>>34116

It's got these all-terrain wheels on it, but he just sedately buzzes about the place. Probably never been off road on it, like every other 4x4 owner.

>>34120

Cripplechairs are wasted on the crippled

>>34120

>like every other 4x4 owner.

They might have driven on gravel once in that outlet shop they went to

>>34123

As in murdered?

>>34125

http://www.powerwheelchairracing.com/info.html

>>34127

I wonder if you can bet on the tardraces

>>34129

Sorry it must be the picture viewer, there was massive distortion on the image when I opened it up

Pepe on my wrist. Pepe on my wrist.

>>34131

reee

>>34131

tfw about to NEET in the kitchen

>>34134

NEETLIFE!

>>34134

is that a euphemism

BinNEET here. There is no need for a reminder tonight as I am not putting the bin out this week since there is nothing in it.

Thank you all for the good care you take of me.

>>34136

depends if I decide to pass the pepe to mummybot or not

>>34139

What about your daily wank/goon?

>>34139

Don't worry m8, seems to be a lot of us including myself that have been not in the best mood the last few days, it's not just you

>>34137

You're welcome, good to hear your bin situation is under control

>>34140

Neglected both of those too, all I've done is get up to make some coffee, some toast a pee and poo, all day has been spent lying in bed.

>>34143

Just take it easy today and do some "self-care" that all the millennial girls do, tomorrow is another day.

Just don't do anything reckless that you'll regret later, I always do shit like that when I'm tfw depressed and sabotage myself down the track.

>>34144

>Just don't do anything reckless that you'll regret later

I'd never kill myself, no matter how bad things are, I'll force myself to go for a walk tomorrow.

>>34145

I had a few pieces of toast with extra butter and some vegemite, seems to have cheered me up at bit, might make another coffee with some extra sugar and milk.

>>34146

>I'd never kill myself, no matter how bad things are

good man, you better not - I've got another NEET track for you to enjoy later on m8

Holy fuck, I have been submitted my résumé as my curriculum vitae

>tfw deliriously perplexed

>>34148

I thought they were treated interchangeably here in Australia? I never treated them differently and still got work.

>>34149

https://ipoint.uwa.edu.au/app/answers/detail/a_id/2461/~/difference-between-a-resume-and-cv

"In Australia, resume and CV are used interchangeably. CVs are usually longer and list your full work history. Resumes are shorter in length and summarise your experience. In other countries resumes and CV are different. When applying for work overseas check what is meant by a resume or CV in that country. "

>>34149

>I never treated them differently and still got work.

My resume at the moment is only a page long with my references. Not as much a CV.

Do you cunts ger depressed for no reason? I was going to ask her on a date today and instead I didnt even say hi because I was having one of those internal 'kill yourself cunt you dont even deserve to breathe' moments

>>34152

Yes >>34139

>>34152

Something usually triggers my depression but sometimes I can't work out what it was and that feels like there is no reason. But there will have been one.

>>34152

She wouldn't have noticed you ignored her or anything today?

>>34151

Basically you'll want something that is like four sections:

Personal deets

Work history (most recent through least)

Skillset

Referees

It is also acceptable to state that you'll furnish a list of referees and written references at interview.

>>33890

Not bad, though I'd remove the MAX logo as it obscures what is a great shot of the doggo.

>>33955

>how about that sink rat, huh? didn't think i'd visit this board and be greeted by such a story today

It was a great and unexpected end to what was a boring week.

>>34146

Yeah mate walks are good for you

>>34084

My parents NBN in the suburbs is completely fucked. Drops out every ten mins. I'm in the city and it's rock solid 100/40 full line rate the whole time.

>>34026

That's a good idea, how's it working?

>>34153

Sorry to hear that mateoid. Feeling better yet?

>>34154

Lol do you remember when we used to talk about gassing the mental jew

>>34155

Dunno m80, I dont want to go searching for the reason I feelbad tho

>>34156

I pretended not to see her, she didnt come over to me aaaaaaaaaaah rejected again

>>34163

>I pretended not to see her, she didnt come over to me aaaaaaaaaaah rejected again

Ignoring sheilas can actually work in your favour. The trick is not being retarded about it.

>>34163

>>34164

>>34164

Great fuckin image reacting

Neet you goofed.

If you saw her, she saw you. She knew that you pretended not to see her. I hope you know that she knows.

>>34166

Why the fuck didnt she come over then

>>34168

Don't panic. This is easily recoverable.

Tomorrow morning just walk up behind her, slap her arse, and say "g'day love!".

Hey dad, what's been happening?

>>34170

Not much son, how was soccer?

>>34170

You're not my Dad! What are you doing in my Mom's bed?

>>34171

It was great. Mr Thompson gave me an Up and Go for giving him a blowjob!

>>34172

I'm the only one cooking, get out of my kitchen!!!

>>34173

Good work son, if you give me a reach around I'll let you have a drumstick for din dins.

>>34174

Can you shut your filthy, diseased ridden, dick trap of a mouth you worthless STD ridden cunt.

My parents divorced after I cooked the family cat for dinner.

>>34177

One day my family will get back together and I will be happy boy again, happy boy!

>>34167

>doll bludgeoning

Nice autocorrect, NEET.

>>34179

we're all blunt instruments here

>>34157

>It is also acceptable

Thank you for this advice.

>>34160

I am a shire NEET with TPG and the people working there are not very good in understanding the problem. We had the electrical cables replaces a few years because they were arching in the rain to the HCF cable. The people at TPG don't understand how the cable is completely fucked from this damage and we even got a letter from NBN wanting to inspect our property i am guessing neighbors are experiencing the same issue/flow on effects

>>34161

I agree they are great that they capture that instability we all experience.

>>34181

Two True

>>34184

Hey cool cat.

>>34186

It's Mrs Dan!

>>34188

You're one crazy bitch.

>>34190

Spoiler fairy can you please, spoiler it may scare some NEETs?

>>34129

Bitrot is a real thing, look it up.

Also has wojack meme gone too far?

>>34193

Wojak never went far enough. He shouldve been what pepe became

>>34190

Good to see John has found his calling

>>34193

Thanks, I know of it.

>Also has wojack meme gone too far?

NEVER!

>>34195

kek

>>34194

Its happening m8, retard wojack is to wojack as apu is to pepe.

>>34197

Is apu the weird little crowdsourced pepe? I remeber the origin of that thing, it was originally from r9k draw-a-pepe-from-memory thread

>>34197

apu is my favorite pepe variant since the feels bad man series. I'm not a fan of the brainlet wojaks, although they are at least better than the soyboy wojaks and the pink wojak series.

Wojak is, at its core, a very simple meme. Sometimes he may be happier or hiding his feelings, but beneath it all he's always gonna be tfw depressed.

>>34199

yeah pink wojack and nujack are the worst, so retard wojack is basically tfw depressed and retarded. No pink pepes yet (good).

>>34198

Yeah pretty much, didn't see that thread though. I remember the thread where pol invented kek though, crazy times.

>>34202

isn't kek just a natural evolution of lel? I remember /sp/ being full of lel memes about five years ago

>>34203

"Kek" is just what happens when you run "lol" through the Horde filter while playing WoW. It's been around since 2004.

>>34203

Yeah, but im talking about a different meme. You know the one with the frog god of checking digits, autists going around like "priase kek".

>>34204

The evolution is more complex than I expected

This song takes me back to my younger days.

>>34208

We should send this to monkneet

>>34209

I wonder what he's up to.

>>34210

Probably still out there catching dick diseases

>>34211

And spreading them.

>>34210

Balls deep in syphilis

Perth neets

Is Dan's open today?

>>34214

Every day of the weeks he's open, isn't he?

>>34214

I'd say so, the only holidays he's possibly closed on would be good friday, christmas and maybe anzac day. Nobody even really knows what this holiday is for, it's basically just a second sunday conveniently placed at a time when wagies can get away and enjoy the last rays of summer.

>>34216

We have one here in SA next Monday. they legit call it "The March Public Holiday".

>>34208

When I opened this into a new tab all I saw was Dan and so thought it had something to do with Mr Murphy.

>>34216

It's Labour Day in WA today.

>>34214

Just checked the website for Joondalup and it's saying they're open 'till 7pm. https://www.danmurphys.com.au/Stores/WA-JOONDALUP-4161.jsp;jsessionid=ADFE6B35493630B260E013BA14F8CE07.ncdlmorasp1301?bmUID=m74h46T

One man built his reputation on a handshake.

He made a promise that no matter who you were, or what you'd like to drink, he'd have the drink at the lowest price.

That was Dan Murphy's promise and it always will be.

Taking my shit in the disabled toilet.

Todays waging wasnt so bad, only another 50 years left!

>>34222

>>34223

What's after that for us to look forward to?

>>34224

Having to use a disabled toilet for real.

>>34227

>pee bottles.

*piss bottles

I recommend juice bottles. You could tell him you have passion for apple juice.

>>34224

Owning a house.

>>34227

I use cheap-ass 75 cent soda bottles. There's opaque bottles out there.

>>34231

Don't you find the mouth is too narrow to fit your dick in?

>>34232

Well you don't need to fit your dick in. Unless your urethra is so gigantic that its power cannot be contained, it's fairly easy to line em up and shoot.

>>34232

That's why I use the peanut bottles, there very comfortable to use at night while you are semi awake.

>>34233

I require full insertion for peace of mind.

>>34235

Take that quote out of context.

>>34241

What about a gf?

>>34241

Nothing to turn your nose up at Pepe.

>>34242

You'd have to have cooked them the day before. Long Pork probably pairs better with a coleslaw or bbq sauce than gravy.

>>34230

That NZ lemon drink called L&P comes in a brown bottle.

>>34248

Hopefully they come with the child safety cap to stop your piss from emptying out if they tip over

>tfw depressed

>tfw impressed

>tfw undressed

>tfw suppressed

>>34248

Sounds like a great way to end up with a numb dick

>Tfw big smelly aboriginal dick in your mouth

>>34255

At least it will be clean

>>34256

UNNA!

I am going to take the car out for a drive this evening I think. It has been eleven days since I have driven it.

>>34259

>I am going to take the car out for a drive this evening I think.

For a food binge?

>>34259

Are you a learner or just don't get out much?

>>34261

I just don't get out much. I am scared of driving.

>>34260

I am not going anywhere, not buying anything. Just driving around.

>>34260

I'm so fat I have to be driven in the back of a work van to get to kfc

>>34264

At least your able to visit Colonel Sanders. What is your big big boi meal of choice?

>260 posts

good work. I want to do comfy catch up but i have homework and I better do that before the gen.

Still have a stomach ache, it's sort of in my sternum region, it's been sore all day.

>>34266

>it's been sore all day.

Have a wank

>>34265

I get about 3 mega feasts for lunch then get Domino's delivered for dinner, they have to send a few drivers for all the pizza I order

>>34262

Can't blame you to be honest. Driving is a pain enough in my small city, I'd hate to live in a big city and have to drive everywhere

>>34268

Have a Metamucil

>>34266

Sternum? Sounds like your heart needs to take a gigantic fucking shit.

>>34271

Maybe it's not that. I dont know what it's called. It's in that spot where if you get punched you get winded, inbetween the two sides of the ribcage right at the top of the stomach.

>>34273

Your mate in the monster cap?

Got the car booked in for next Tuesday to get the water pump replaced. When I gave my surname the bloke asked if I knew [first name]. Turned out he knew my late father.

>>34273

Is that you?

>>34275

>tfw no dad

>>34277

I'll be your daddy

>>34276

No that was my mate I went with

>>34274

NAh

>>34279

Have you told him about the neet gen side of your life?

>>34280

She's letting you put your computer in your room?

>>34272

That's the solar plexus.

You sure it's not just heartburn?

>>34284

Well done NEET. Now don't mess it up.

>>34266

It is nice to have you back. Good boy for doing your homework first.

>>34284

make sure you remember us when you're balls deep

>>33998

Then you miss the Omeo Highway which is a solid 10 out of fucking 10

Fun fact I learned today and am not bullshitting and you probably will be able to verify from google maps but The ACT Greens Building is Located in the exact same building as something called AIDS Action

>>34284

oh shit how did you do that

I am back from my drive. I encountered a couple of bad drivers but nothing I couldn't handle. I didn't get too stressed, but I didn't enjoy it either.

>>34292

Driving on a weekday in between 7am to 8pm is the fucking worst

>>34281

No, no one must know my secret…

>>34292

>I didn't get too stressed, but I didn't enjoy it either.

Well that must count as a success.

>>34295

I suppose.

>>34296

Well done, hearing your success has lifted my mood.

>>34220

Why is it this day, and not next week, I mean Vic and Canberra has Labour Day on that week Or Canberra has some other holiday that might as well be Labour day, They as of this year have a Reconcilliation public holiday which I guess if we have any Canberra NEETs they'll spend it drinking goon and sniffing petrol to pay homage to the original landowners

>>34296

If you win GF2018 then we all win GF2018 by association

Don't mess this up neeto

>>34296

That doesn't help me answer the question on how people get gfs

This neets success has made me depressed. If only I had an ounce of the courage he has.

>>34284

Onya, mate. Makes my heart glad.

>>34299

Judging by a quick google it varies by state. Victoria and Tasmania used to have it on the first Monday of March but shifted it for some reason after WW2. WA didn't establish theirs until 1948.

I can't find much on the exact reason for these dates, but I'd assume it has correlates with the introduction of some work based laws.

>>34296

>I wouldn't have asked if not for the encouragement of one NEET in this thread.

Which post???

>>34296

>I bee'd myself

We encouraged you and that is the best answer you give?

>tfw not impressed

>>34304

Ok

Now the real question remains, are the NEETs here going to celebrate Reconcilliation Day the only right way to do it

>>34304

Looks like WA started celebrating their date after the 40 hour work week was established, while the other states started when the 8 hour work day was established

>>34302

If it makes you feel any better I a different anon am going through a personal depression and self crisis as well as developing lock jaw out of nowhere

>>34307

I'm not celebrating a day I don't get off

>>34309

Good thing you don't have a boyfriend..

>>34311

He might be the neet that wishes he has a boyfriend

>>34311

well of course I'm not a fucking faggot

>>34312

fuck off tbh

>>34313

I was making light of the lock jaw, m80. Don't get upset.

>>34314

There was a neet here yesterday that was lamenting about how his art friend wouldn't fuck him

choon

goon

>>34315

>>34316

Mate I get touchy about this shit, it's fine you don't know probably but when I was 5 I was raped

>>34318

soon

>>34317

we /bleep/ now

>>34319

I am sorry to hear that. Sorry if I have triggered some bad memories.

>>34319

How can anyone not know? You mention it every five minutes.

>>34319

Fair enough. I didn't mean it in an offensive way, I just thought you could have been him.

>>34323

It would also help if he mentioned it or used a tripcode or something, instead of getting upset at standard and expected banter.

>>34323

bit rude tbh

>>34324

just shut the fuck up already

>>34299

>original landowners

The British monarchy!

God save the Queen!

>>34320

He'll be proud of you

>>34325

He just does it because he like the attention. He is passive aggressive.

>>34301

Cut your hair, hit the gym, maintain good hygiene, spend a ton of time doing online dating (sending messages), go on dates IRL, receive gf.

>>34303

>>34298

Me too lads, me too. I haven't felt this happy and anxious in a long time.

>>34300

I think the association rule was discontinued in the 2014 season after it was discovered that Chads were abusing their ranking to sell GF status to permavirgins on gumtree

>>34305

This post (>>34166) made me feel like I was being pathetic. Maybe more than that, everyone here has been encouraging me for ages to be direct and stop behaving like I'm begging to be placed in the friendzone and it all came to a head when I saw her this afternoon. A thought ran through my head -

>when you act like you only want to be her friend then you're being dishonest with yourself and you're being deceitful with her as well; you know very well the only reason you're doing this is to avoid the discomfort of being vulnerable and yet it's a necessary step towards success, so you're avoiding success itself in the goal of being more comfortable. Comfort isn't living, nobody looks back on their deathbed and wishes they'd just spent a bit more time inside their comfort zone. This isn't even a new realization, you've been deliberately avoiding discomfort for a long time. Just fucking do it

>>34332

Just don't mention the holocaust on your date.

>>34330

fuck maybe you're right but all and really you fucks are me only friends and I don't like being called a faggot

>tfw severely depressed

>>34333

Why?

>>34336

Somebody posted in the last thread that he upset the girls he was chatting up when he mentioned the holocaust.

>tfw pissed out my asshole

>>34334

You weren't called anything. You had a bit of banter pushed in your direction is all. understand the difference.

>>34337

I usually mention dans lowest price guarantee and that gets me laid everytime

>>34339

Ah ok, tbh things are going confusing for me right now

>>34338

Did you take a photo for us?

You could argue that without being depressed you can never be happy. We can't escape our emotions but we can use them to our advantage. If you let emotions drive your decisions you will make mistakes you otherwise wouldn't. You might see gf as being a solution it isn't. gf 2018 might be a race but gf is not.

>>34340

Kek

Have a goon

>>34338

Girlneet?

>>34342

Unfortunately not, but if it happens again, and I think it might I shale take a photo.

>>34345

No.

>>34343

Just let him enjoy the prospect of a gf, dude.

>>34343

Yes but the issue for me is that I don't even know what I'm looking for

>>34347

Yeah, I shouldn't give advice as a hermet neet tbh.

>>34348

More advice, instead of looking at possibilities others suggest come up with a different way. You might not see what you want because you're looking the wrong way.

Found this I'd saved in a text document on my hdd about 12 years ago. Somebody might find it useful.

>1. Stand up straight. Shoulders relaxed and back, head facing the world.

>2. Smile more often. It doesn't even have to be a full-out smile. Just think about smiling and learn to smile with your eyes, or as Tyra Banks calls it "smeyes" or however you spell it.

>3. Read up on Starting Strength or Bill Starr's 5x5 and do it.

>4. Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, go to the gym and do #3.

>5. Every Tuesday and Thursday, and Sunday/Saturday if you want, run a mile. Every week, try to add a bit to that length and/or take a bit off of your time.

>6. Drink bare fucking minimum one half-gallon of water a day. Straight and not mixed with anything. A full gallon is better.

>7. Buy clothes that fit, are in style, and are congruent with your personal style.

>8. Find the Harris-Benedict formula for caloric needs and figure out how many calories you need a day to achieve your desired results.

>9. Take #8 and make sure you're getting about 40% of your daily calories from protein, 30% from carbs and 30% from fat.

>10. Eat as soon as you wake up and every 3 hours after that while staying in line with #8.

>11. Figure out how much sleep you need a night, somewhere between 7-9 hours, it's different for everybody, and get that much sleep, uninterrupted, at least 5 nights a week.

>12. Meditate for at least 30 minutes a day.

>13. Look people in the eyes when you're talking to them.

>14. Adapt a cooperative mindset, instead of combative, competitive or supplicative.

>15. Nurture your social relationships with your friends and family.

>16. Find some hobbies that you're going to like doing and that call to you.

>17. Listen to people.

>18. Listen to yourself and your body.

>19. Teach yourself to be comfortable in increasingly more uncomfortable situations by staying in your stretch zone that I described earlier.

>20. Any time something bad happens, find 3 good things that can come of it.

>21. Look for the lesson in any problem that you have.

>22. Stop complaining and start looking at the bright side of situations.

>23. Be proactive.

>24. Take an hour and write down 100 questions. Look at the themes and then rank and order the 10 that speak the most to you.

>25. Journal everyday, if even for 5 minutes.

>26. Make peace with the person that you are and learn to love that person.

>27. Embrace the moment.

>28. Stop dwelling on the past, specifically past failures.

>29. Stop worrying so much about the future, specifically things that can go wrong.

>30. Buy "I Will Teach You To Be Rich" by Ramit Sethi and follow his advice on how to get your finances completely and totally in order.

>31. Set goals for your life. Be it for the next hour, the next day, week, month, 6 months, year, decade, whatever. Set them, write them down and make action items on how to go about achieving them and do them.

>>34349

The issue is I don't even know where to look in order to help me to know where to look

>>34350

Fuck that, rather go on the goon diet

>>34350

half of these seem to be shilling shit including a an alahu

>>34354

I Don't know how

>>34352

>>34353

Perhaps. I just saw it a few minutes ago when I was looking for something I'd filed away. I'm not forcing it on anybody.

>>34337

He dodged a bullet there, tbh.

>>34350

>learn to smile with your eyes

>smeyes

AKA smiling like someone who isn't a complete sociopath.

AKA regular smiling.

>>34354

It's always a worry when some crabs get uppity

>>34351

You have to look wherever you can, sometimes the journey is more important than the goal. Don't think of it as something you're doing wrong.

Also I would save oven math until atleast 3-4th date tbh.

>>34350

>>34358

There are studies that smiling has a positive impact on the brain to make you happier. Even if it not what you feel they say it helps to uplift you mood

>>34358

That's how you give them a false sense of security before the rape

>>34360

Oh I know to keep politics to myself and that which is another reason having a gf scares me because what if I say Hitler did nothing wrong and she pretends to be cool and next thing I know i get filed with a 18c

>>34363

Is she white?

Only non-whites can file an 18C complaint.

>>34364

She could file a restraining order.

>>34364

I thought a whitey filed one against Bolt

>>34365

Get a gf that can't read

>>34366

That was a "professional aboriginal".

>>34368

so in other words a whitey

Low quality conversation again.

They're making these machines bloody clever. I had a conversation with it before I realised it was a robot.

I'm on my last question now.

Catch up is going to take me all night.

>>34370

Indeed you have contributed to

>>34371

what one was this

>>34371

Cyber sex with it

>>34375

hot

>>34373

Asking me about the state election, the robot sounded hot.

>>34377

IKTF

bosslady called before saying I have the w/e off so we'll catch up properly. Just like we did in the good old days when we were kids.

>>34379

there is one of those coming up?

>>34378

That doesn't look like Dan Murphy's.

I am off to bed NEETs. A very early one tonight. I finished LOTR last night. I am tackling the appendices now. I flip through a bit and just read the bits that interest me.

Good night. Handyman is coming tomorrow. Goodbye possums.

>>34382

Have a wank

>>34382

Do you both work in the city? Is she going to have to travel all the way home to suburbia and then all the way back in for 9pm?

Probably depends what suggested doing. There isn't much you can do at 9pm that you couldn't do at 7pm, for what it's worth.

>>34383

>Goodbye possums.

F

>>34383

Planning on doing the Silmarilian?

>>34387

Silmarillion*

>>34387

I am going to try. I tried once before years ago and failed.

>>34389

Yeah, same. It's a tough read and not quite in the same vein as Hobbit/LOTR.

>>34382

So what does she look like? Has anyone asked this?

>>34386

This isn't Facebook, please don't do that

Just finished homework.

>>34380

Yeah, another NEET said that you get fined if you cant come up with a good excuse for not voting.

>>34393

F

>>34395

U

>>34396

C

>>34397

K

>>34397

K

>>34385

Nah she won't have to travel far. I just asked whether she wanted to come out for drinks.

>>34391

She's a cutie, I'm not sure what to say beyond that

>>34399

Fugg.

>>34401

At least you tried

>>34385

>There isn't much you can do at 9pm that you couldn't do at 7pm

Dance. Be in a crowd.

>>34402

Let's try this again.

*clears throat*

WHITE

>>34394

well to be fair it seems like the SA Election and I'd just vote for Xenophon just for chaos

>>34383

Mate…

Good night buddy.

>>34403

Have a goon in a sophisticated glass

>>34400

at least tell us her race

>>34404

GIRLS

>>34409

200m freestyle

>>34406

I heard that labor would give every home owner a 10k grant for solar

fuck labor labor sill but that is a pretty good thing

>>34408

Maloneys used to do free goon Tuesdays.

>>34404

>>34405

*clears throat*

*tips fedora*

>>34407

Thank you my friend. Good night.

>>34412

how can state labour afford that

>>34413

God bless their kind soles

>>34412

>>34416

I think it is an interest free loan.

>>34417

irish are known for their weird shoes aren't they

>>34405

o/