/ausneets/ - Aus NEETs

W GAY

>>288775

Just get a dog to lick you clean

>>288780

Hot

>>288780

Honestly the probing isn't so bad, they knock you out and you wake up with a greasy ringhole.

It's the 12 hours of laxatives they make you take before that's horrible.

>>288782

>Honestly the probing isn't so bad

IKTF

>>288764

Just how does he do it?

>>288783

Those are for African gentlemen.

>>288767

That would make a good

No = Yes

Yes = Anal

Banner for the upcoming march.

>>288786

They are older than our african gentlemen problem. Your grandfather probably used them.

>>288785

That wasn't him, that was impersonator NEET being rude.

>>288767

No room for consent

>>288788

No wonder old people walk funny

Anything from Coles, neeties?

>>288793

Keeps me up all night shitting and wanking

>>288796

A large zucchini with a sideways curve.

>>288796

I'll have the cute girl who works at the smokes counter on the weekend

>>288796

More Veet

78 until quints

>>288802

Bro, do you even math ?

>>288803

ah yes

If 6 NEETs each travel 4.7km to a dark clearing in the woods and divide 4 goon casks and 3 cartons between them then how much will the average anal circumference be raised after NK arrives ?

>>288805

Depends

Are they 4L sacks?

>>288806

2 of them are 4l, 2 are 2l

>tfw 1 second off getting 11:11:11

Chair has made my bum numb.

>>288809

numbBumNEET

>>288809

It will help with the rape

Any NEET recommendations for a comfy computer chair ?

>>288812

Dunno about brands, but I've got an executive's char at home and work. Only downside is the arm rests can stop you going under the desk as far as you might like.

>>288812

Milk crate

>>288814

That will do wonders for my haemorrhoids

>>288815

Especially if you're not wearing pants and one goes through the hole in the crate and expands.

>>288816

That would be very funny if it happened to someone else

BUM BRUISE

>>288812

Tree stump

>>288818

How big are you? I'm ~135kg and broad across the shoulders and I fit just fine.

>>288820

I'll tree stump you m8y

>>288822

Hammer Schlagen!

>>288821

This reminds me. I have a Napoleon cake I haven't eaten yet.

>>288824

Now you can have your cake and eat it too !!!

Really never understood how execs love eating cakes and pastries and chocolate and all that shit so often

Just makes me bloated, guilty and with poor poo quality

I might be a druggo boong but I'll never be fat

>>288826

I'm a druggo skelly and I occasionally nibble on a pastry

Any more than that and I feel sick

>>288826

I actually only hit the bakery up on a Saturday. Same for other treats when I visit the supermarket once a week.

The rest of it's just kfc, pizza, and a metric fuckton of booze.

>From November to March, thunderstorms are common over Brisbane, with the more severe events accompanied by large damaging hail stones, torrential rain and destructive winds. On an annual basis, Brisbane averages 124 clear days.[66] Dewpoints in the summer average at around 20 °C (68 °F); the apparent temperature exceeds 30 °C (86 °F) on almost all summer days.[67]

Faaaarkin comfy az

>>288828

Is the bakery run by multiculturals?

>>288830

The one today is some kind of Viets. The one I usually go to is a German family and local white girls.

>>288832

Main industries for Viet migrants was bakeries and heroin.

The neighbour hasn't done any work on the fence yet today.

>>288833

The French involvement in Vietnam is probably responsibly for the baking side of things.

No sign of the hapa

>tfw depressed

>>288838

Lets get maggoted at the Monash hotel

My shout

>>288839

He has salsa dancing tomorrow.

Browsing Seek with fantasies of FIFO jobs

If I get quints everyone gets a fat gf

>>288843

*postage and handling not included

>>288843

What race

>>288845

Any race except aboriginal

Big stinky farts at Nan's

>>288847

yours or hers ?

>>288846

Sexts outdoes quints.

Unna or nothing.

>>288848

It's a competition, I'll keep you posted

>>288849

We can't unleash such powers till the big 3s though

>>288851

>>111111

>>222222

It's too late

>>288851

Which by my rough calculations should be Gen #395

>>288847

It was that Hungry Jacks binge. We have got to get you on a more GI friendly diet.

>>288854

Pork,raw onion and pies are my gut triggers

>>288842

I often see them at the airport when I have a red eye flight. They don't look like happy, wealthy, people.

>>288852

That wasn't the get I thought it was

>>288854

t. Kettle

>>288858

racist

Got it in my mind to get a zinger burger box now. Oh the lack of shame

Me and you and a dog named boo.

At the zoo collection zebra poo

Driving home we're struck by a roo

Thats ok its really nothing new

>>288860

The shame never stops me, it just makes me feel bad afterwards.

>>288865

I might check that 2nd one out, cheers m8

>>288867

They usually have them assembled in the shop so you can try them all.

>>288866

I drew this toad long ago

>>288870

Seriously ?, well drawn m8

Having a wank to rupauls drag queens.

Having a wank to fat boong chicks

>>288874

But it's winter

>>288863

I had that one. broke the armrest after about a year as I was leaning on it to shift bodyweight. I am about 115kg.

Too much caffeine and nicotine today

>>288874

convert the timezone you lazy boong

>>288876

>I am about 115kg

Big enough to break a chair but not big enough to dominate one like a true executive.

>>288877

Bowel problems or anxiety bro?

waiting for boong wizard

Make it a wholesome get

>>288881

He might already be too drunk to post.

>>288882

i think we all know it's going to be something gross

>>288884

I have hope in the universe and faith in the NEETs.

>tfw severely impressed

Kinda tumesced

bum

>tfw depressed

>>288888

What is this shit?

>tfw severely unimpressed

>tfw no fat gf

>>288893

surely that feel is not difficult to rectify

>>288894

Even fat girls have standards.

>>288893

Sorry m8, I went off for a wank and shower and missed the quints

I have only read the first 3 pages of one harry potter book and watched none of the movies

>>288899

Harry potter books are shit.

>>288899

They are an okay read. Pretty fun.

Ignore this: >>288900

>>288900

Yeah, that was my impression of the 3 pages I read

Harry Potter was the antichrist in League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

>>288879

I am working on it!

https://www.news.com.au/finance/business/banking/major-bank-cuts-off-blair-cottrell-for-commercial-reasons-prompting-a-bizarre-response/news-story/a052ccd88159c5d31fd7cc8ee9762398

>>288905

And people say the Sopranos isn't relevant any more …

>>288906

Well yeah, you will get treated like shit when you're a shit stain nazi cunt. Hahaha

>>288908

>Hahaha

>hahaha

>hahaha

>hahaha

>hahaha

Living vicariously through youtube vlogs while sitting in a cold dark shed eating rice

Holy fuck

I think I've found a combination of mods that literally lets me make gas chambers in Rimworld

>>288910

Whats it like in the 3 world? Have you shat in the street yet?

What if you get banned by all the banks? Is it even possible to live your life after that? Is it possible to get paid your wages or Centrelink moneys without a bank account?

I bet Monk watches this guy: https://www.blog.google/inside-google/googlers/billy-jacobson-anna-lytical/

>>288910

You should make a vlog so we can live vicariously through you

>>288910

I am still waiting for that excited bulge pic.

>>288913

No, it's not.

One of the first things they did to try and bring Assange to heel was close down all bank accounts and credit cards.

>>288917

might as well glue a hat to your head

>>288917

Extremely unfortunate. shave it all off as soon as possible.

>>288917

Time for the #0.5

>>288913

He probably did something, they cant end your accounts for no reason. I bet hes making it out like it happend for no reason but it just his propaganda against "them". No you're fucked finacially.

>>288917

Time for the shaved head and doc boots

Images havent been loading for me for the past hour

>>288922

Yeah he did something alright. Held an opinion (or set of) that they didn't like.

The article mentions Bendigo Bank doing something similar to opponents of the Bendigo Mosque a few years ago.

>>288926

tell a lie, that was instant

>>288927

It's been patchy all day.

>>288928

>>288917

>>288922

If X people complain to a bank about Y customer, and the losses to the bank from X withdrawing their funds than the funds Y has with them, then guess what they're going to do?

>>288930

>withdrawing their funds than the funds

withdrawing their funds is greater than the funds

>>288914

This one

aggressive aboriginal anal assault

Sunset blues soon

>>288917

Give it a comb

The guy I am co-director of a company with is dropping by shortly to collect $550 for the accountant's fees. He dropped that on me on Friday afternoon. I haven't seen him since Easter 2018. I think I might tell him to wind up the business.

>>288834

>IKTF

>>288937

Meant for >>288836

>>288834

>>288937

But have a free (You)

>>288888

>>288886

>>288936

Whats the company?

>>288906

I hope Mr Neck works his way around it.

>>288934

>>288933

>>288941

Just a nondescript Pty Ltd we set up to sell some software I wrote in 2001. Been used for various consulting jobs and the like in the subsequent years.

>>288943

WD40 will dissolve glue and sticker residue without harming paint.

>>288946

Basically spray it on (ideally with the affecting area facing up) and let the puddle sit for 10-15 minutes. Should be able to wipe or peel off whatever is there after that time.

>>288947

>>288946

I will go out and buy a can. I should have had it anyway for other potential uses.

>>288941

The irritation is more that I never hear from them now unless they need something. Happened around the time his wife became a priest and the kids reached university age. If they wind up the business, or at least remove me as a directory, they can fuck off completely.

>>288948

Get some paper towel or a bag of painters rags too.

>>288952

How many KM were on it when you bought it?

If you open the bonnet you should be able to look at the rocker covers and see if they are covered in oil or not.

I wouldn't worry about the suspension bushings (from a sales perspective) unless the car is making noises or riding rough as guts.

>>288953

That all said, Shire is the authority round these parts on such matters.

>>288952

When did you buy the car? Were these problems identified before you bought it?

10 degrees today in Shitbourne, back from my friend's place, passed through the CBD to look at some shops and saw a bloke in a skirt walking through Melbourne Central. Was pretty surprised.

>>288953

>How many KM were on it when you bought it?

202,000. It has now done 205,000.

>If you open the bonnet you should be able to look at the rocker covers and see if they are covered in oil or not.

I looked but the engine has some sort of cover thing on it. I don't like to touch things in there.

>>288955

>When did you buy the car?

Two years ago.

>Were these problems identified before you bought it?

No. I never had it inspected either. I was such a fool. I got ripped off by this little midget of a dealer. The shame of it still pains me.

>>288952

Depending on how much cash you've already got (and what type of car it is), you could just trade it in for a Corolla or Civic, you might take a slight loss.

>>288958

I would estimate my car being worth about $3500 if I sold it on gumtree. I don't know how much I would get if I traded it in.

>>288956

yeah he should have had some stockings on to keep his legs warm

>>288959

If you're only doing 1500km a year, is it even worth stressing about? Just get the oil changed once a year and let it run for a bit once a week if you're not actively driving it.

>>288959

Put it up for $4500, that way you can negotiate down to $3500 or a bit less.

If it's only got leaky rocker covers and some worn out bushings I wouldn't worry about telling them.

>>288949

What kind of software is it webbo? Are you making much passive income from it?

>>288962

You can smell the oil burning when you drive it though, I am a bit worried about that on a test drive. The mechanic said it drips onto the exhaust manifold.

>tfw severely impressed

>>288964

Have you tried another mechanic yet? the price he was charging for the rocker cover gaskets seems ridiculous.

>>288964

You left that out the other week when you first brought it up. That's a definite leak if you can smell it burning.

>>288966

No I haven't tried another mechanic. I was thinking about waiting until it is due to be serviced again.

>>288967

I never doubted the leak was real. It was the price quoted to fix it that was the problem.

>>288966

I'd even be happy to loan Cruisey my tools and let him replace it for Possum. It's not a hard job.

>>288970

Yeah it's a simple thing to do.

Also

>V6

>AWD

Is it some kind of Audi or VW?

>>288971

Is there a possibility I have a car with a tricky engine where bits need to be removed to get at the gaskets and that is why it is so expensive?

>>288972

No it is Korean. 2003.

>>288973

Tell us the make and model. We can't dox you from that.

Wish Cruisey would lend me $6k

>>288960

He had those compression leggings that athletes sometimes wear, making it all the more bizarre.

>>288977

hot

>>288973

Still shouldn't be a problem.

>>288974

Some kind of Hyundai SUV, if so it has a Mitsubishi V6.

>>288979

It has this engine:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyundai_Delta_engine

>>288980

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=hyundia+delta+valve+cover+gasket

>>288973

I have scouted out an independent local mechanic with good reviews. I will ask him for a quote next if I don't sell it first..

>>288980

Yeah it's basically a Mitsubishi 6G7 engine, built under licence by Hyundai, Hyundai get a lot of their engines from and transmissions from Mitsubishi.

>>288981

Is the valve cover the same thing as the rocker cover?

>>288963

It was an RDP client for Solaris (running on Sun UltraSPARC hardware), allowing people on SunRay terminals to remote desktop into Windows servers.

>>288984

Yes.

>>288984

yeah seppos call it a valve cover

>>288957

>I got ripped off by this little midget of a dealer.

He looked up at you saw that he could get himself a good deal.

This is my exact engine I think.

Being a mechanic would be a shitty job I reckon

Sorry shire, but bending over a car all day would get old real fast

>>288990

Now now, sometimes you get to crawl under them too.

Volunteered today for 4 hours and 30 mins

>>288990

I kinda just zone out and do what needs to be done.

>>288990

At least at the end of each day he knows he has achieved something. Unlike IT work which is virtual bullshit.

Time for a wank and a subway

May as well take my seroquel early too, what’s there to be awake for

>>288995

Better luck this coming week.

And tbh, I think all work is shit.

>>288990

I think fixing something that was broken would be very satisfying. It is like solving a puzzle.

>>288989

It is looking like you need to completely remove the intake manifold to get at the gaskets and it is a big pain in the arse and that is probably why the mechanic gave me the massive $690 quote.

>>289000

$690 is ridiculous, even if he has to take the manifold off.

>>289000

I still think $690 is too much, yes it's a pain in the ass, but it should be more around $350 - $450.

Got a maths exam the day after tomorrow. Fucking shitting myself. I've been over the content and I understand it but I still feel like I will manage to fuck everything up on the day.

>>289003

You'll be right.

Might get a garlic bread.

>>289002

I will get a second opinion from that independent mechanic. Hopefully it will be a bit cheaper.

>>289004

>>289005

>>289005

I have been resisting all day. I don't want to stink of garlic and be sweating grease tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow night I will order half a dozen.

Going to order a succulent Chinese meal.

>>289008

>>289005

>>289009

Have a binge

>>289003

You will do fine. I have faith in you.

>>289008

>>289011

Considering a potential wank.

>>289013

>>289011

Pizza, garlic bread, and chicken meatballs ordered.

Might accompany it with a Coonawarra cab sauv.

>>289015

>Coonawarra

*Goonawarra?

>>289015

What pizza toppings?

>>289017

I got their mega meat lovers on a thin base, but had them remove their bacon and hickory sauce swirl, and add chilli flakes.

>>289020

Why no bacon?

>>289018

kek

>>289020

Sounds delicious

>>289018

K E K

>>289021

Because lately they've cutting it into pieces that are like 2x1 inch long. It's disproportionaly large relative the pizza slices and upsets me.

>>289020

Just needs a swirl of Pajeet's special sauce to take it to the next level.

>>289025

You should just ask mummybot to cut them for you before you see the pizza.

>>289026

Don't all pizzas made by Pajeet come with that brown flavouring?

I am watching the Paddington movie on TV.

>>289025

just do what i do when i order a prawn pizza, I cut the prawns in half and make sure they are evenly spaced across the pizza, actually I do that with all the toppings

>>289032

na, it works out ok

How do I get the OS on my computer after I built it? Do I need to get a CD Drive to install it or something?

Since starting this no booze thing my sex drive has been really low. Used to be a really horny beast, especially when hungover.

Can't even be bothered having a wank now

>>289036

ISO on USB

Fucking Dominos.

When I ordered, it popped up an offer for 2 sides for $7 or something, which I accepted.

The standard 2 sides are a garlic bread and a 1.25L pepsi.

I swapped the pepsi for meatballs.

Paid for it.

Dude rocks up carrying a pepsi instead of meatballs.

No receipt.

Website then says my pepsi was delivered

I reckon the fucking pajeets didn't want to part with meatballs and ignored that part of the order.

Waiting on the emailed receipt to show up now.

>>289038

Sorry for being a dumb cunt, but what's an ISO and does that automatically install it or do I have to do other stuff? Can I buy Windows and have it arrive on a USB?

>>289040

An ISO file is basically what would be on a CD.

You can probably buy the USB with windows on it but you can also just buy (pretty sure you can download a trial and never buy it or something) the Windows license key from microsoft and use a tool to write the ISO to a USB and go from there. It's easy

>>289042

You can download the official Microsoft ISO at no charge.

You can google a MAK activation key if you're smart.

>>289043

>if you're smart

Welp.

>>289042

I think I'll just take my SSD from my dead PC and use that for a while before eventually replacing it with a larger SSD down the line. Building a PC on NEETbux is a real pain in the cunt. Hopefully I get that student loan, it'll give me a spare $600 that I'll probably spend on a GPU.

>>289044

>Welp.

I just meant some googling will save you some dollarydoos.

>>289041

nice stimulation

>>289045

Yeah, I did something like that to get Windows 7 as a replacement for Vista years ago.

I think I'll go Linux when windows8 become to old

Not that I like 8 anyway

>>289046

>nice stimulation

>>289040

You can buy Windows 10 on USB. If you are building a PC and also buying a Motherboard and CPU then you can buy an OEM version of Windows which is pretty cheap.

>>289048

Rebecca has probably hacked into your WIndows 8.

>>289037

That is for the best.

>>289050

If he posts his address I will send him Win 10 on USB with a key.

>>289051

Yeah, she has.

I like to wank in my ScreenCam so she has to watch

>>289039

There is a second stage of confirmation for swapping on the online menu. It can be quite confusing. The mistake was yours but it is the menu design that is the real culprit.

>>289055

The dominos online menu was designed by a pajeet chimpanzee on crack

I find myself so tired without my nightly oaties

I'll be ready for bed by 7

Probably going to go for my second night walk in a about an hour. I'll do two laps around the block this time, that should give me 20-25 minutes of exercise.

>>289055

I didn't think the website would be complicit with the local Pajeet manager's deception, so thanks for confirming I fucked up.

>>289060

Yeah when you select what to swap to it takes you to a screen with just that item on it but you then need to select the quantity and press submit.

You learn the ways of swapping Domino's sides when you eat garlic breads in multiples.

Finished my wank

>>289061

Ah. I think I saw that screen and then hit checkout on the top right.

>>289065

Sugar tits.

I hope to one day get as drunk as Mel

>>289058

Put a knife in your sock just in case.

>>289065

It's like he's driving that car but he's not in it.

>>289069

They can't charge you with drunk driving then

>>289058

Good luck mate.

The Paddington movie was looking very wholesome until Nicole Kidman showed up as a baddie.

>>289072

She looks like some sort of undead creature these days

>>289074

Who is this GirlNEET?

>>289073

I do not like her. Even less so when she is hunting Peruvian bears.

>>289074

Who are you?

>>289076

Yeah, I've never been a fan.

She seems to have one facial expression

>>289079

That's the botox.

AU IS BEST U

AU > EU

>>289075

A woman who is a NEET.

>>289077

I was called cunnilingusNEET once.

>>289082

>A woman who is a NEET.

What ? You're confusing me

>>289082

>I was called cunnilingusNEET once

Never heard of him. How did you earn that sobriquet?

>>289085

He speaks 14 different languages

>>289085

>sobriquet?

Stop this at once.

>>289087

No need to get bombastic

Weber better not steal the credit for my vocabulary again.

>>289089

I'm >>289087

>>289082

The rapper?

>>289090

>>289089

Also what do you mean again?

BIG CURRY POO

>>289074

Anyhow, was this a surprise "I love you" or are you doing things together ?

>>289074

Are you going to give her some vitamin D?

>>289095

Twenty minutes in the sun would be more satisfying.

>>289096

Why not both ?

>>289083

The poo cake is better.

Women are devils in human form sent here to tempt us away from the path of righteousness and not wanking

>>289099

Yeah, it is.I didn't get the joke till after I posted the cunt one

>>289100

Well said.

>>289078

kek

Starting to think I don't want kids and just want to build a career and achieve financial independence before retiring early and lazing about on a boat in the Bahamas or something

>>289103

cack

>>289104

Sounds like a recipe for misery. The male equivalent of being a catlady.

>>289105

kaka

>>289108

She takes it up the bum

>>289084

She's never been here but is living as a NEET.

>>289085

I mentioned going down on a woman a few weeks ago and after I explained I was a no-namedNEET someone called me that.

>>289091

No.

>>289094

Just strange to hear it said.

>>289095

Concerning that you use that particular wording.. we often talk about her lack of vitamin D

>>289098

highly unlikely.

>>289098

>>289108

She is not pretty but she is worth a shag. Send her the dick pics and see what she says. She looks like a slut.

>>289108

She thinks she's shit hot.

>>289108

I'd let her eat my ass.

>>289112

Looks decently cute to me

>>289110

Upload a sex video for us please.

>>289116

awkwardNEETsex.com.au

>>289115

She will age terribly. She already has those flabby rings of fat around her neck.

And she looks like her bum to boob ratio is heavy on the bum size

>>289119

That's good. Bigger booty is better than bigger tiddies.

>>289120

nigger

FLAT IS JUSTICE

>>289120

What if your dick is too short for doggy because of they big arse meats?

>>289123

And who is going to clean all that glitter out of my carpet?

>>289123

This is insulting to Possum.

>>289123

That girl would be amazing in bed but she'd murder your parents while you slept after

I live in a shed in my parents backyard. Ask me anything.

>>289130

Where is that bulge pic?

>>289129

You hurted my eyes

>>289131

He's imitating me again.

>>289108

She looks like the prince from Shrek

I am the only sage

AU > EU

>>289131

>>289135

its not a shed, its an extension that was never finnished properly (aka lines, insulated) etc

>>289129

Both would make good manure with a bit of composting

https://www.beefysbongs.com.au/black-leaf-6-arm-tree-perc-beaker/

Might buy this

When I have money

>>289137

But you just bloody well said it was a shed !

>>289129

VILE

>>289140

whatever hapened to the plastic orange juice bottle with the piece of garden hose and a sewing thimble?

>the neet thread is in an uproar

>>289142

>>289143

Being a pothead got comercialised

>>289139

Your asshole with fetch top dollar if it advertised correctly.

>>289139

just hide in their front lawn, GI Joe

>>289147

> top dollar

I'm dubious

Maybe bottom dollar ?

Monk we need some pictures of the inside of this "shed".

>>289151

Real Monk or monk impersonator ?

>>289150

Is that Fosters?

>>289152

Both.

>>289152

The Monk Resonator

>>289150

>>289153

>>289154

>>289153

thats my urine

This could get confusing like spiderman when you don't know who the fucks the clone anymore

>>289157

You fucking liar, that's my urine

>>289158

i'm the impersonator. bbut i do live in an illegal residence - an unfinished detached building

who is the other guy who lives in a shed?

>>289159

Bullshit, That's my urine

>>289161

>>289159

f off