/ausneets/ - Aus NEETs

>>234458

fermented menstrual blood

>>234467

It's medical you degenerate

>>234468

If it involves my cum and someone elses bum it's not medical

Unless she's a hot nurse

>>234468

anything can be fetishized unna

>>234469

Who said you get to be the cum?

>>234463

Crack open your window tonight and someone will explore your crack.

>>234470

I once had an attractive German girl swear at me in German

I found it surprisingly arousing, I could get into that

>>234468

The dildo was a bit too big for your first time, wasn't it?

Finished my pizza and chicken.

>>234473

Fetishising Germans is usually done for other reasons

>>234471

My bottom is protected by nuclear death rays

In such a situation I get to be the cum

>>234476

The last Germans I met wanted my to lie under their glass coffee table while they pooed on it.

>>234480

hot

>>234478

Should would crush him.

>>234480

Did you do it ?

>>234482

He could ride her like a monkey on a hippo

>>234480

>>234481

>>234484

>>234481

>>234483

Of course not.

>>234487

Dang NEET, you missed out.

The poo table test is the first step to joining the Masons.

>>234487

Yeah, fuck is with having a table?

>>234488

I've got a great great grandfather that was a Mason. That probably means I can already join.

I'm surprised they haven't tried actively recruiting me in an effort to discover the Council secrets.

>>234489

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=glass%20bottom%20boat

>>234490

I got an invite to join them when I started growing

>>234488

Mason is a shit name anyway

Uni tutorial complete.

Time for turkey and corn

>>234490

I understand the reference.

Never mind.

>>234493

Do you understand the extended Euclidean algorithm yet?

>>234492

But they're FreeMasons

You know there's no jews involved because it says Free in it.

>>234490

>Council secrets.

Riding the wild Exec is one of their rituals.

>>234497

I prefer when we play Hunt the Skellie personally

NK - Damien/Natan/Kyle

Cruisey - Danie/Jackson/Brett

Weber - Matt/Scott/Michael

Rate

>>234496

There is no such thing as a free mason

>>234499

NK has to be named Nigel

>>234497

As above so below

>>234499

Wrong.

I reckon Shire is a Dave or Rob.

>>234499

>>234501

If has to be Nathan.

>>234503

Definitely has to be a name you can add o to easily

>>234504

It's probably something boring like David or (god forbid) John

>>234507

If it's John, he would have to be diagnosed with bipolar.

>>234503

Shire is probably something like Cameron

Some hot poojeetas at Hogwarts this time around.

>>234499

>Danie

erotic anal curry magic

>>234510

Those poojeets are under 16 buddy

>>234512

Where?

>>234505

Shireo

Weber's probably a Mario, Con, or Gregorio

>>234513

Yet to be pooed

why does subway cheese turn liquid after 2 hours ?

>>234513

Wrong, movies use adults to play teenagers because of labour laws.

>>234514

>>234510

Just dropped a solid log for the first time in weeks

My sober gut is getting better

>>234516

I bet his mum doesn't even speak english, just yells in wop all day.

>>234518

It's designed to be eaten fresh.

>>234522

Old wog ladies do seem to have faulty volume controls

>>234519

Kids should still be made to go down into the mines.

Nevermind, the last half of the Hawaiian pull apart doesn't wanna budge

>>234526

And set on fire

>>234526

Yes, I'd be free of this world already if I'd worked a coal mine from I was 8.

>>234527

Get some All Bran, cunt.

>>234529

Oh, not US

Kids these days should

We wouldn't be having these anal problems if Tony Abbot was still PM

Still some blood on the paper, disappointing

Ah, Guiseppi, why do you go to Canberra every few months? You are such a handsome young man, you need to settle down with a nice, good mannered Catholic girl. Nadine, you know Nadine, Roberto's sister, she just broke up with her no good husband. Apparently he was a deviate. The things she found on his computer, mamma mia.

>>234535

He'll wanna take the Kingswood next

>>234520

Thank you.

>>234536

Hang out with the no good hoodlums down at the pool hall.

>>234533

>IKTF

Thinking about aboriginal anal now….

I got tomorrow coming

And nothing of value was lost

https://www.news.com.au/travel/travel-updates/incidents/ethiopian-airlines-plane-crashes-with-deaths-and-casualties-unconfirmed/news-story/bed7d1e1a89f6fc015fa795817b914d3

>>234542

Is she hot?

>>234539

Next thin you know he'll be hanging out with negros and jazz musicians and go mad on reefers

Has anyone here ever used Lifeline? I know I'm asking for it, but serious responses only please.

>>234543

The plane held a resale value m8

>>234543

bit edgy

Dargo Unchained

>>234546

You got those magical digits I predicted, m8.

Don't kill yourself.

>>234535

We need to stop the abuse on Canberra NEETs

>>234550

oh no you didn't

my eyes go wonky when i'm drinking

>>234495

More or less. We're learning congruences now

>>234546

Only for a good wank, their calm voices as I string them around with my problems before I climax and hang up abruptly have really helped me.

>>234550

>You got those magical digits I predicted, m8.

What do you mean?

>>234543

Was the pilot a big nig?

>>234548

look mate i don't care much for niggers

>>234555

>>234552

>>234556

It did nothing to stop the plane from crashing

>>234553

Good. See? All self-contained for the most part.

This kind of racism is uncouth

>>234557

What about the innocent white passengers just trying to find an exotic wife?

>>234561

these thick round big-ass vessels fly up in the clouds so high it be cryin

yeah you thought it was rain

>>234563

God might forgive them

>>234546

I'll be awaiting your call 1300 889 241

Fucking fedora racism. At least make it funny.

>>234567

What a waste of digitz.

>>234567

Your anger is the funny part

anyone want to fist my asshole for a dollar?

>>234559

getting caught was apart of his plan

>>234567

Poss I back

>>234571

He's a nig guy

>>234554

>>234566

I hope you two fucking suffer.

Only 80's kids will remember jokes about etheopians and hungry jacks vouchers

>>234573

4 jew

>>234570

That's called prostitution and it is not okay, neet.

>>234575

What's the best thing about a blowjob from an Ethiopian ?

You know they'll swallow

>>234570

Have you considered that this sort of thing might be causing your anal problems ?

I'm back on the bourbons again.

>>234582

Food - 6/10

Subtle toe shot - 9/10

>>234582

I can see neither steak nor chips

1/10, and only for the toe

Need to see some more elbow twisters

>>234582

slutty toe shot 6/10

>>234582

Corn on the cob is like Weber.

All puffed up and full of useless bullshit.

>>234586

That wasn't a twisted elbow you dumb dumb.

>>234590

This Asian girls bottom pleases me.

You may have a Good Night

>>234590

Night chink!

>>234591

This bottom is also pleasing

>>234594

The text more pleasing still.

>>234591

lol

>>234595

Hmmm, text, what text ?

>>234560

I don't understand how to apply it to some questions though

>>234590

Goodnight oriental fancier.

>>234582

Very nice.

>>234598

What do you mean?

>>234589

That was his back.

How did he take that photo?

>>234590

night

>>234602

He stuck a selfie stick up his bum

>>234602

Maybe he had his girlfriend take it

Carn freo, whattaya doin???

>>234602

I don't know how to describe it properly, but what you were looking at was him with his left arm put out behind him on the counter (or whatever it was).

His right hand (or somebody else) took the photo.

>>234607

It was my right hand put out in front of me twisted around

Wow, turkey is delcious

I'll make this a permenant part of my diet me thinks

>>234608

bullshit

>>234609

It really is, makes chook feel like a poor mans meat

>>234609

I like January for discounted Xmas turkey roasts.

>>234606

Exactly what they've been doing for 20 years now

>>234610

he's telling the truth, I have a double jointed arm and can turn it 360 around easily. it's also quite easy to do a 180 with my normal arm

How often do you neets do your dishes

be honest now

>>234615

Every night

>>234615

Every 48 hours.

Dude, hes holding the camera with his left hand, twisting his right arm 180 degrees

>>234616

Alright that's gay and disgusting.

>>234619

what is this in decimal radians?

>>234615

I reuse my plates without cleaning them

This Asian lounge music and my vanilla scented candles are making me drowsy

Sobriety syndrome is exhausting

>>234625

What is asian lounge music?

>>234626

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FrdPsi8aP4w

Also the guy next door has a girl over, ooh lahlah

Where did everyone disappear to

>>234616

How did he take that photo??

>>234628

I woke up and the footy had ended, I might make that my thing, I've watched all the movies and shows I want to see.

>>234630

Do you set an alarm? How do you just nap like this

>>234615

Never. Misso does them because she cares about being clean and shit.

>>234627

Sounds like a deuce.

>>234631

I put the tv on, then I fall asleep.

Mango sorbet binge

didn't know NK made music

aboriginal anal trombone solo

a lot of girl talk on /ausneets/ tonight, we all had one that got away

>>234638

tfw you see a girl you went to school with on locanto whores in [my suburb]

>>234641

It's ok m8, you've just got a virus

>>234641

A whole generation stuck in the matrix

I am going to be a sports watching NEET this year, this shit is great to sleep through. Very comfy.

About to watch the motoGP.

>>234644

Do you post on PC while at your desk?

It is weird, visited my brother today and it occurred to me it's been months since I went further than a suburb or so from home.

>>234646

purhaps we need a neetrip

>>234647

All the NEETs should do a pilgrimage to Ayres rock to pay homage to the abos and bang all their women

>>234645

I do, why?

>>234650

He's lining up the orbital cumshot

Look out !

>>234650

I'm trying to figure out how much time you spend on the couch

>>234651

Thank you for the warning, I am not wearing any protection/

I'm going to bed when Harry Popper finishes.

>>234653

I should have yelled "Incoming"

>>234654

>Harry Potter and the Six Hot Boong Chicks

>>234652

I normally get home from work and have a nap there after sitting here and reading the days posts.

So usually, if I'm on the couch, I'm asleep.

I wonder if the laws demilitarising space would actually stand in the case of nuclear warfare

>>234658

Half the shit up there is weaponry.

>>234658

I don't.

>>234658

Laws are silent in times of war

fuck you, I can't remember the Latin

I forgot about the ads on tele. This shit may not work.

>>234662

They have giant TV screens playing ads at you at Perth train station now

It's fucked up

I'm in bed with a mint and some Japanese zen garden music on

This is fabulous

>>234663

mental welfare unna

>>234664

have a wank

>>234663

It's why I sort of stopped watching tele, I only watched abc because of it for the last couple years I had it.

>>234664

How many mints are you having a day? I wish they felt good to me.

>>234667

I don't watch tv or visit most of the net because I hate ads

To have them forced on me is horrible

Fuck this

>>234670

Happy thoughts.

>>234670

Water melon ?

Paid prostitute ?

Unwilling Italian girl ?

Drunk aboriginal girl ?

Good night all. I will be up earylish to do some washing.

>>234669

Adblockers will fix most of the Internet, Bucko.

>>234663

>those giant LED ad signs on the fucking freeway

it's like they want you to crash

Time to fire up

My life’s in the toilet

>>234673

G'night m8

>>234675

Nah, fuck that shit

If a page has annoying ads I just never go back

It works for me

>>234673

good night, I'll be up mid day to do the same.

>>234674

good, good

>>234675

listen to this man, uBlock Origin is good.

>>234677

are we burning churches? or is this a drug related fire?

think I've got a yeast infection from the fatty I fucked last Sunday night lads.

smashed her twice with a condom then once without and that time there was blood, now I've got red dots on the head of dick not itchy or anything but they've been there all week.

>>234681

Have a wank

>>234681

Boys don't get yeast infections you spastic

>>234682

did in the shower this morning but i'm supposed to be no fap

>>234684

ty virgin

>>234685

You must have been a wonder in biology class m8

>>234683

my ex was adamant she would burn a church at least once before she dies, crazy bitch.

>>234687

Did she have long blonde-brown hair ? and a beard ?

>>234673

nighty night

>>234686

do you actually think men can't get yeast infections or are you just trying to troll and get some much needed attention lol? the state of you

>>234681

If you had a yeast infection that would be a cheesy jap’s eye, wouldn’t it? Dots sound like something else.

>>234691

>>234691

think it might just be friction from the connie's honestly (I'm uncut) just stressing hard because I'm naturally hyper paranoid

>>234692

It's AIDS for sure

Ok NEETs I initially had a panic when I couldn't find my pasta and was going to use my saltana bran as the pasta but its all good

>>234688

no, she had blonde hair though

>>234681

>then once without and that time there was blood

Congratulations on being a father NEET

>>234695

I was going to do a line about varginas but it won't work now

>>234693

y u do this 2 me

>>234696

nah i pulled out

>>234694

Wtf

>>234695

Doesn't Vargs wife have blond hair and also keeps BTFOing Gahoole and other /tv/ losers

>>234700

Imagine if one of our NEETs used to bang MRs Varg

>>234699

Its fine neet I was gunna take out the saltanas, the logic was that bran is from wheat, pasta is also from wheat, therefore bran is a fine substitute for pasta

I dated a goth chick many fucking eons ago when they existed who wanted to have sex in a church

Never did though

>>234701

Remember the golden rule

If they're not Tony Abbott then NK has already raped them

>>234703

>tfw no gf to go to an old abandoned church near my old hometown and fugg while saying Heil Hitler and Gas the Christkikes

>>234704

I heard once NK thought about raping big Tones but when he went to do it he realised Tones was already raping him.

>>234705

She was more Satanist goth

>>234705

Wew lad

>>234697

dirty

>>234700

she does indeed, I'd be impressed if I'd in fact fucked vargs wife

>>234709

It's funnier if it happened so under thread tribal law you fucked Vargs wife

>>234703

they still exist bro, I see this 19yo piece on Badoo over here in Perth who literally has a barbed wire tattoo across her face at nose level from ear to ear. Must have Daddy issues off the charts, imagine the head game.

>>234690

>the state of you

lol, your the guy with a yeasty dick.

>>234668

4 or so today

First one was good but naturally I always have one going so it's back to not doing much

>>234712

and don't you fucking forget it boy.

>>234714

Pour some flour down your pants and you'll have fresh bread in the morning

sour penis loaf

>>234715

only if he sleeps in an >>>/oven/

>>234710

>tfw cucked varg

>>234712

kek

I guess this is what you get when you can just meet up and smash first time with an online fatty

>>234719

Mocked for boasting about it ?

>>234721

Bread

>>234720

good night my microbial NEET

I gotta admit, fatty sex and free bread is a pretty good deal

And you could use half the bread to attract the next fatty

>>234723

Hullo Possim

>>234720

G'night m8

>>234721

nuh-uh wasn't boasting, was just relaying the story to my NEET frens.

>>234724

>>234724

this is true, pigs love the carbs

>>234727

I forgive you as long as we get a photo of the bread

>>234724

only if you're already into fatties.

>>234730

But … free bread

>tfw bread whore to fat women

>>234730

>not being high test

lmao'ing at your "life"

on a serious note though, have any of you lads overcome unfounded paranoia/anxiety? I had a therapist tell me once it's like my smoke detector is set too high. It goes off even when someone is just cooking (aka they're being a normal person but I'm questioning their every action and motive)

much love,

bread dick

>>234733

>weber breathing dot gif

>>234735

kek

Can't sleep despite being tired

Awful

>>234738

Same. Turning repeatedly in bed. Got the fan on and took my pyjama shorts off.

>>234740

>>234740

kek don't feel too bad lad I don't think boomers/parents can understand just how fast internet/app culture has spread and what a blight to society it actually is. I have enough of a personality that when extended family ask once a year at christmas "when are you going to have kids like the rest of them (the cousins)" I just laugh and say fuck no, I've only been asked if I was gay once from a relatively hippie family friend and I just laughed. It's amazing how narrow minded the cattle are about finding someone and settling into abject misery like it's something to be proud of. Sure, I'd love a partner but I think the days of finding a woman who's had less than 30 dicks in her are long gone. Even the QT 19 at my work who is as feminine and bubbly as you could find in Perth wants to fuck at least 3 different strangers this year and when I pressed her on why it was 3 she couldn't come up with an answer at all. Slut culture has destroyed any hope of the family unit.

Big abo sex

Powerful aboriginal ejaculation

Rape

>>234615

i have a broodling do it for me

>>234740

it's not so bad m8, I understand that feel but at some point you've gotta stop comparing yourself to others. Everyone's different in some aspect, I know people such as you've described, you've gotta do your own thing. I have trouble meeting chicks, I'm just trying to improve myself first, getting your shit together takes a different amount of time for everyone.

Uni's a bit of a meme unless you wan't to be a lawyer or some other pretentious crap. My parents often would say I look homeless, it's more about how you perceive yourself imo. I doubt if I was wealthy I'd be caring anymore about my looks.

>>234742

this cunts pretty spot on, it's actually fucking crazy the state of females these days. A few years back when I was a bit more naive I was seeing an 18 year old bird who claimed she'd been with over 100 people already. I took it with a grain of salt but looking back it wouldn't surprise me if she was being serious. Shit's fucked.

>>234748

>>234748

I took a massive break from social media to try and "improve myself" (lol) and I half feel good for avoiding the shit show and half feel bad because I missed out on learning the nuance of how people actually "communicate" these days, something changed drastically from 2013 to now IMO and a lot of it is dating apps/snapchat etc. What porn is for men (instant gratification) social media/snap/insta is for women (instant validation) they've all got 100+ dicks sitting in their DM's just waiting to step up to the plate.

>>234742

>Slut culture has destroyed any hope of the family unit.

Fuck, tell me about it, that shit is like hydro-chloric acid to the fabric of society.

>>234748

In a way you're right, it's up to us to decide which road towards self-improvement to take, for some it's quick and easy path, for some it's a long fucking winding road.

>>234749

Yeah social media is fucked, I'd avoid it at all cost (as I already do) and advice all other NEETs to do the same.

Anyway, had some scotch, watched a bit of a movie, shit has stabled out a tiny tiny bit. Night Night NEETs.

>>234750

night lad, Dan bless you.

>>234749

very valid points, it's all rather depressing

>>234750

GN m8, I should sleep also.

sven reporting in

how are you doing down under?

>>234753

all right though keep in mind right now pretty much everyone is sleeping so you won't get much replies

Maybe a Vicfag might pop in since its labour day

>>234753

failing to sleep, it's almost 3am.

sleeping schedule's getting fucked

>>234736

>benisbröd

looks tasty

>>234756

Whats the relation between Sweden and Finland, is it basically the same as Melbourne and Perth

>>234756

vpn

>>234755

valium m8

Morning NEETs.

>>234760

Morning neets. The neet council would like to remind all wagies that today is a holiday, no need to go to work, and that any angry texts you may receive from mr shekelstein are merely pranks.

>>234761

>>234760

Morning.

Slept in.

Now I have to do the washing.

>>234760

>>234761

>>234762

G'morning NEETs

Got 8 hours solid sleep, which is nice

Up next at em neetoes

>>234765

This is an interesting sentence. I think you need more coffee.

Lol. Last night I had a dream where I got on the piss

I was so glad I hadn't when I woke up

At one point last night I dreamed white jellybeans were coming out of the taps instead of water and the plumber didn't want to fix it because he thought it was good.

>>234740

Fuck, sorry mate.

>>234770

I made it about half way through.

>>234770

>>234772

I just woke up, I got a couple minutes in to it.

I miss my train because mummybot rang. Its alright though no one will care.

>>234760

>>234761

>>234762

>>234764

>>234765

Hey cuties.

>>234774

I care.

'Gay Cunt' is sort of an oxymoron… unless you have two Gay Cunts.

>>234776

OK but no one at tafe will care.

Shit I'm out of clean undies. I've been dreading this day as I search for a $2 coin without getting cash out of an ATM.

I finally got the coin, but am now wearing cumdies of questionable hygiene.

>>234777

I knew a moron who took oxy

He was a gay cunt

>Adelaide Cup Day.

So why do Easterners get a day off?

>>234783

Because they're boongs

>>234783

Labour Day (Vic)

Canberra Day (ACT)

Eight Hours Day (TAS)

Adelaide Cup (SA)

>>234786

WA had ours last weekend

Dunno what we call it, wankers day I think

>>234787

Labour Day

>>234788

Bloody silly name for a day off

>>234786

the holy alliance of the comfiest states

SOUTHERNERS RISE UP

I love doing the washing and having things come out dirtier than they went in.

>>234791

Stop pooing in the washing machine m8

>>234793

I didn't poo in the washing machine.

I just followed the instructions mummy left me and the white singlets all came out covered in flecks of black stuff.

>>234794

That sounds like the lint collector is full

>>234795

>>234794

stop pooing in the lint collector

>>234797

Although that picture DOES look like someone poo'd in it

>>234786

What is a fitting way for neets to celebrate labour day?

>>234799

Seeking employment

>>234799

Have 2 wanks

>>234800

Get out. Now.

Aboriginal ejaculation day

>>234800

Seeking a wank

(((sorry))) day

>Young unemployed man seeks wank

>Must be decent wank but really any old wank will do

>Many years of wanking experience

More delicious turkey and veges for lunch

Is nbn worth it lads?, I want proper internet but I don't trust the telecom jew

>>234808

My brothers area just got connected and it looks shit.

The basic deal is about 20mps and you have to pay extra to get 40-60

We're getting jewed like boongs

>>234808

Mummybot has fibre to the house and that seems consistent speed wise with what is being paid for.

I have fibre to the node in my street, but I'm not going to switch from ADSL in case it is worse.

>>234795

>>234796

>>234797

I pulled the lint collectors out and they had a little in them but not much. Cleaned them and the pockets they go into, and gave the drum a wipe over with a damp chux.

Hopefully it isn't a recurring problem.

Reminder that “u stinky fuck” is a cute gender-neutral nickname

>>234810

My house is fttn and the box isn't too far from my house, but I have a feeling it is going to be shit and not worth the money.

I tried looking for a decent sized 4g plan but that costs even more, internet is so fucking expensive.

>>234813

>I tried looking for a decent sized 4g plan but that costs even more

No shit, there are 3rd world Asians with mobile internet faster than my nbn connection.

Being honest though it is nice to see my download speeds at 5MB/s+

I'm on the 40Mb plan

>>234815

>5mb+

The things I would do just to see 1mb

>>234815

I had the NBN when I lived rural but now I have ADSL2+

21 degrees today in Shitbourne. Still feeling a little shitty about what happened last night, my dad made another comment this morning how I could probably get a gf that is better looking then that girl was, which of course is a load of garbage.

>>234818

>Still feeling a little shitty

have a wank

>>234818

You will look back on this time in your life in a few years with some innocence and regret. I used to be in your same situation, dropped out of uni, worked some shit pleb job, no gf for life, etc.

Now I have a decent job, a gf, my own place, my shit packed relatively tight.

The worst thing you could do is give up and retire your efforts. The rest of your life is waiting for you to live it

>>234818

>my dad made another comment this morning how I could probably get a gf that is better looking then that girl was, which of course is a load of garbage.

that would have hit me in the feels

>>234818

Call your Dad on his bullshit.

Make Dad wank off the dog

>>234820

You will look back on this time in your life with some innocence and regret too.

I've had those things for some time and the initial joy from achieving them is gone. Everything, including your happiness is meaningless.

>>234825

kek

that is actually a basic truth though, regardless of which side you're on

>>234826

And yet our executives crush the skellies every time and lord over them

>>234824

I know, its an uphill battle, but I feel better now than I did as a 19 year old unemployed virgin goonhead constantly getting berated by my Mum for being a loser, and only finding enjoyment from smoking cones once she had gone to work

>>234827

All the skellies would need to do to win is have one or two fatten themselves up and then poison the KFC and goon supplies. They could take out executive HQ that way.

>>234829

This is why we restrict their rations

A hungry skellie plots no mischief

>>234828

I still feel like an awkward loser most of the time.

I have a job and income many would give their left nut for.

I have a couple of hobbies I enjoy, but no real friends, and no realistic prospect of getting a GF.

>>234831

>I have a couple of hobbies I enjoy

Is one of them wanking?

>>234832

Usually, but I've been holding off a few weeks.

It's weird for me.

I spend most of my time by myself but I'm NEET by choice, I just don't like people much.

>tfw lonely but hate everyone mostly

Is the Surface Pro 6 good? I need to get a computer that I can take with me to uni

>>234831

Like I could drop dead at home from a heart attack on a Friday night and you lot would probably be the first to notice. Work wouldn't even notice until about Tuesday, and even then I'm not sure the dipshits would have the presence of mind to have the Police investigate.

>>234835

They're good from a size and weight perspective, but you're paying a premium for MS bullshit.

>>234836