No.29620
Subject says it all, and I am dead fucking serious. For TWO. FUCKING. DAYS NOW. This spider has bit the shit out of my face. I'm gonna kill it myself, but if I can summon a demon to make that spider pay for what it did to my face, I wanna fucking do it.
I am that petty
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No.29621
>you would rather have a demon in your house than a spider
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No.29623
You're the kind of person who should never try to summon a demon. Besides, the worst a demon could do to a spider is kill it, and you can do that yourself with much less effort.
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No.29625
>Spider bit your face
Sounds like it's behaving irrationally, you might already have a demon.
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No.29645
summon a vacuum cleaner instead
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No.29650
Talk to /pol/ about getting a frog god to eat it in the night.
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No.29651
>>29620
This sounds like the set up to a shitty horror-comedy film.
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No.29873
Just use a shoe and squish the damn thing instead.
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No.29885
>>29873
But then the demon that's currently possessing the spider would just possess OP instead. No, he has to trap it and find someone to exorcise it.
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No.34081
stop fucking with benadryl
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No.34085
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
Most "spider bites" are misdiagnosed and actually from various insects. Wash your sheets for once in your life and see if that helps.
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No.34124
>>29620
>>34085
Wait a second, now I know why your predicament sounds familiar. OP, I think you may have bed bugs. Check the bottom seams of your bed, you'll probably see little specks of dried blood there. If you look harder, you'll probably also find shell casings and possibly one of those little fuckers in the flesh.
If you see anything like that, it's time to bag up literally everything in your house that's paper or cloth and also pick up a bed bug sheet for your bed. Next, you'll want to call an exterminator, or if you are in an apartment inform your building manager.
Now, bed bugs are usually not introduced into a home by means of poor personal hygiene (really culprit places for acquiring bed bugs on your person is public transportation), but poor personal hygiene makes the problem way worse. You'll need to live out of garbage bags for about 2 months (including your clothes), and make sure everything you wash gets put into a bag outside of the affected area. Washing your clothes and your self daily is going to be key to getting rid of them.
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No.36490
>>29620
So, what if you actually accidentally summon a spider-demon? What then?
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No.36801
>>34124
>OP summons a demon to deal with bed bugs
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No.36803
>>29885
that's why op needs to >>29650
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No.36807
Go to a fucking store where they sell stuff for animals and get a fucking spray that keeps away bugs.
For fucks sake anon, it's like 1000 times easier than summoning a bitch ass demon.
I know it can be really bad, a spider once bitten my dad's nose and he looked like a kike for days
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No.36811
>>36807
>looked like a kike for days
what a terrible fate
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No.36830
>Face
Jesus lad
Thats fucked, I've been bitten in the legs, arms and torso, but never on the face, not even by mosquitos.
I thing the worst thing regarding insects and sleep I've had though was 3 years ago.
It's nothing special but I'll tell it anyway.
It was a really out summer and due to the heat Cockroaches go absolutely crazy.
Well, my patio in the backyard has a huge grid locked drain right next to the doorway into the house so the water gets there whenever I clean the tiles.
Cockroaches usually come from there, and in the summer it's sometimes impossible to go to the backyard without killing at least 5 of those fucking things.
One or two rarely sneak in the house throught the cracks in the door.
So on one of the days of that certain summer I get home from binge drinking with some friends at the local bar, drunk out of my mind I pass out on the bed of my room without closing said room's damned door.
I must have slept for like 3 hours
I was sleeping with my belly down, my left arm was parallel to my body and I was resting my face on my right hand while my elbow was sticking out, out of the bed even while my face was turned to that very side.
So after those 3 hours I suddently get rocked out of my sleep by something cold on my elbow, in the same second my nostrils are hit with a godawful smell, before I even open my eyes the cold starts moving from my elbow to my wrist….I feel it's legs then
I immediately throw my heads backward, lift my body up and use my other hand to slap the fucking thing out of my hand all at the same time as I get a face full of pic related.
The adrenaline pumped up and not only did I become momentarily focused/sober thanks to it but I also became fast enough to grab my shoe and kill the critter before it had time to hide in a corner of the room.
My heart was beating like a horse's
I was never afraid of these crawlers, and I'm still not, but ever since that day I've gained a new level of Disgust and Rage, and where before I would ignore them if I scared em off when near a gutter, I'll gladly stomp all over these fucking things, multiple times.
FUCK COCKROACHES
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No.37553
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
According to vid related, stake a large clove of garlic with a long iron nail to attract demonic forces.
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No.37555
>>29620
What if you end up summoning a spider demon, what then?
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No.37563
I remember that guy who wanted to destroy his phone that bad with the same problem
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No.37568
>>37555
Spiders eat smaller spiders, but now you have a bigger spider. Cat and the hare situation in straya went like that.
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No.37748
Leave that damn spider alone. He's a good boy he dindu nuffin! Also they eat the pesky flies that spread disease and fuck with you whenever you're trying to enjoy a decent meal. Summon a demon for more important matters or stuff you couldn't accomplish on your own.
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No.37755
>>29885
Well if OP is hotblooded and has big enough sideburns he'll just become devilman
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No.37800
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No.37801
>>36801
That might actually be worth summoning a demon for. Or at least a servitor.
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No.44056
Vi sitter här i venten och spelar lite DotA
å pushar på å smeker
Med motståndet vi leker
Vi sitter här i venten och spelar lite DotA
å springer runt å creepar
Och motståndet vi sleepar
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No.44069
>>44056
Tjena, söta bror! Hur mår ni?
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No.44075
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No.44405
>>29623
but it's already been done. yet it's still here. explain that chucklefucks.
it's a forced spider. it's fake
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No.44419
These sort of threads are what /x/ should strives for.
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No.44422
So did OP ever summon that demon? I assume by his 2-year silence that he did, and that it went about as well as you'd expect.
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No.51163
For any anon fucking with Benadryl
https://psychonautwiki.org/wiki/Diphenhydramine
>According to user reports, diphenhydramine has a non-linear dose-response, meaning the effects do not correspond directly with the dose. Lower doses produce a body high effect, while higher doses produce a state of delirium in which the user sees and hears fully-formed, extremely convincing hallucinations. Doses between these two extremes are uncomfortable and dysphoric. Diphenhydramine is frequently reported to produce significant nausea and bodily discomfort ("body load"). Most users who try diphenhydramine typically do not report positive effects and do not wish to repeat the experience.
>The toxicity of recreational diphenhydramine use has not been studied. Anecdotal reports suggest that heavy use may cause persisting hallucinations and cognitive and memory impairments. It is highly advised to use harm reduction practices if using this substance.
Don't take too much of this shit, folks.
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No.51164
>>51163
Oh shit, wrong thread.
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