>>15606880
>cousin comes over
>boot Guilty Gear Reload
>he button mashes for a while, show him a few specials he can pull
>I'm not FGG material, but I teach him what little I know
>15 minutes later, we're more or less matched and trading blows while not sucking so much
>goes home, takes the game in CD-ROM
>comes back a few days later, plays much better
>neither of us is any good anyway, but we enjoy it
>take trip north to visit a friend
>hey, he likes Guilty Gear too, I'll bring my gamepad
>"Hell yeah, let's play some GG!"
>starts complaining about frameshit
>tries to start with "ghosting", I politely remind him I'm using a gamepad
>beat him with Testament twice, he takes Potemkin and starts spamming the same two cheap moves
>faggot is grinning smugly now, basically being "That Guy"
>wins after 3 tries, acts like he just won 20 matches in a row
>tell him he did good, I wanna change fighter too
>pick Ky, and he goes Potemkin again
>dance around him, can't touch me, fuck him hard with projectiles
>he stops the fucking smug act and goes silent
>he picks Sol, I change to Axle
>rape his shit so hard it's no longer funny
>decide I'm being too hard on him, I let myself get angry and it might put a dent on our friendship so I'll be the big man here
>take Slayer, he keeps Sol
>I have no fucking idea how to play Slayer, I don't even look up his commands
>experiment with his normals, try simple half-circle commands to figure out his specials
>unsurprisingly, this gets me a few losses in a row
>shithead friend is back to being smug, says I need to learn to play that character
>tell him I like to experiment and find out myself
>"Nah bro, what you need to to watch the PRO's and see how they do it!"
>Googles some Maximmilian dood or some shit eceleb. Insists I see that crap for 20 minutes
>Ask him if were gonna play or watch ecelebs
>"We are gonna play after you learn how to so I don't beat you that easily, ahah!"
>Told him to go fuck himself, went home, never played games with the fucker again.
>months later, he buys Overwatch
>noone wants to play with him, he buys another 4 copies and hands out to his "friends", me included.
>basically guilt trips everyone into playing with him.
>feel sorry for the OTHER guys, agree to try it out.
>it's decent, some matches are fun, some are boring stomps
>couple hours in, the fucker let's us know he's thinking of assembling a professional team to play this shit
<oh fuck no
<out of 20 characters, he outright refuses to play with 17 of them or so, never learns how the others play, constantly complains enemies do shit he doesn't understand
<since we're 5, there's always some random joining us, he blames EVERYTHING on the random guy, even when the guy is miles away from the action
>eventually he buys yet another copy to a girl he was trying to shag
>no more randoms to complain about, I played enough MOBA's to know where this shit is going
>starts railing on every team member for minor shit, and even shit he himself caused
>even screams at the girl he had a fancy on
>one of the other guys tells him to fuck off, never shows up again
>he loudly complains on voicechat
>tell him it's just a casual Blizzard game, why is he that mad?
>"It's not a game you fucktard, it's my fucking career!"
>3 guys and 1 girl burst into tears on voicechat, we can hear squeels and things being thrown on their end
>close chat, never play with him again
Had to tell him to fuck off on his recent "Minecraft server"
The girl he fancied ended up getting it on with one of the other guys, he got so assblasted he fucking migrated to another country.
I still play Overwatch now and then. It's alright, balance a shit though, can't take the game seriously when it's so hilariously broken.