/v/ - Video Games

>spore

>create several dozen different dick monsters because I'm a shitty preteen

>drop the game

>decide on a whim to play it again years later

>make it to the space stage playing pretty normally, having a blast but I fucking suck at the space section of the game and can't do anything

>suddenly a race of dick monsters declares war on me and basically every other planet

>genocides everything, destroys everything that tries to stand against it

>helpless and forced to sit back and watch as my own dick monsters slowly take over the entire universe

>helldivers

>playing with my best friend

>we're having a really easy time, kicking ass, leveling up, getting cool new shit

>unlock the mech suit thing

>decide we're ready for a helldiver difficulty world, i mean, even hard isn't that hard, right

>it's fucking starship troopers

>they're fucking everywhere

>feeling real honest panic in my heart as we're being overwhelmed by bug alien things

>calling in ammo in a panic while my buddy keeps them off my back, yelling into the mic "NEED AMMO HOLY FUCK NEED AMMO"

>we can't do this

>try to get to the escape point

>it's a running, screaming battle while we're pursued by a hungry tide of bugs

>run out of ammo

>die firing my pistol like a real man while my buddy got separated

>to this day occasionally he texts me telling me never to forget what happened that day on kepler prime

>Capitalism 2

>Communism sucks so much that it doesn't have a sequel, unlike glorious capitalism

Feels good man

>playing some multiplayer strategy browser game called OGame because I have nothing else to do with my life

>it's about starting a galactic empire, colonizing planets, destroying the fleets of others for resources, alliances, and so on

>my planets were getting regularly harassed by some guy who was constantly trying to resources on them, but thankfully you can prevent that by having your cargo ships move your resources to another planet so the attackers can't loot anything, or by just signaling the attacker that you are active and thus letting him know that you can save your resources anyways

>retaliating is impossible because my fleet can't even compare to his, I'd lose everything if I tried to take him head-on so I need to be regularly active at all times to move my fleet elsewhere in case he attacks, so that my fleet doesn't get reduced to debris which can be recycled for TONS of resources

>eventually I'm fed up with it and decide to send some spy drones to all of his planets

>I find that literally none of them have any planetary defences, he put all of his resources into his fleet while I could just send a few cargo ships to his other planets to loot them without any problem

>so if I were to attack them, he'd try sending his fleet all the way over to his planets, and my drive technology levels aren't high enough for my ships to outrun his fastest

>but he also happened to have a Jump Gate on his moons, which would allow him to transport his entire fleet from his moon close to my planet he was currently harassing, to his other planets far away in the universe I was targeting

>so what I did was send a small detachment of ships towards all of his outer planets to make the attack seem legit, and just as I'd predicted, he'd use the Jump Gate to send his ENTIRE fleet to the other side of the universe where his other planets are, so he could set up his fleet at his planets to intercept my ships

>but this was a mere ruse, the kicker behind Jump Gates is that at LV1 they take 1 hour before they could be used again, so while his fleet was at the other side of the universe, his planets at my side of the universe were completely devoid of any defenses which I could loot happily without any problems, as there was no way for his fleet to reach my side of the universe in time

>had he not sent his entire fleet through the Jump Gate or posted some cargo ships on his planets, he could have prevented me from taking his shit, but alas

>I didn't get to steal much, but I wanted to rub it in for a second

>to rub it in even more I decided to send another detachment of cruisers and cargo ships towards his other planets, but I found that he spread out his fleet across his three planets and moon, so there was no way for me to get past it

>that night I go to sleep and wake up early, and find the most hilarious sight

>one of the top-100 players must have had him in his sights, because his fleet had been entirely reduced to debris during night, he didn't even fleetsave it

>basically, because the guy split his fleet into three, a much higher-level player could attack each part of the fleet with his fleet while risking much less in terms of losses

>the fleet crash was so hard that the guy dropped 70 positions in the leaderboards in one fell swoop, and retired into vacation mode out of shame where his planets could not be touched for a set amount of time, but he couldn't log in during that time either

>mfw I accidentally contributed to the absolute anal devastation of some cunt trying to harass me only for him to get his shit kicked in by someone his size

>>13733939

>crusader kings 2

>1066

>begin as a child of constantinople

>dream event happens

>girl in my dream was my sister

>given the choice of being gay or fucking my sister

>the choice is obvious

>come of age, take seduction focus

>successfully take my sister as my lover

>have to then marry her off to secure a NAP with a powerful vassal

>her new husband has the Trusting trait

>thinks the three kids i get on her are his

>a decade later

>this vassal becomes the fucking king of aquitaine

>help him on his wars for a long time

>things are great

>he eventually dies

>his son (which is really my son, by my sister) takes over, sends a marriage request

>he wants to marry my daughter

>live just long enough to nail their daughter

>die happy

>Vagante

>get to the final stage of the rift

>found boots that deal damage every time I jump on an enemy

>fight boss that killed me every single run before this

>I jump on its head and it gets stuck between doing an attack animation and the environment

>I jump on its head for a thousand years

>dies from me bouncing on its stupid noggin

What a retarded way to finish the game

>Rayman 3 Hoodlum Havoc

>Huge GCN fan alongside old best bud

>best bud is gay for Rayman games

>gets me to play the first one and the N64 one

>doped up on a bunch of other classics like Luigi's Mansion or Billy Hatcher, I give in and get my parents to buy it

>This spurs a challenge of sorts because apparently, in his mind, I had to wait for him to beat it

>Don't really care and keep going

>Get to Reflux's part

>By some fucking illogical cosmic karma, while platforming towards his designated fighting area, I trigger a flag that counts the level as beaten, without giving me the power up from the boss battle

>I am now stuck in a softlocked (well, more like unbeatable) game since Ubishit didn't have the foresight of letting players replay older levels

>Can't replay through the whole game because god damn it's like past the halfway point

>Fucking smug ass faggot calls me to watch him play the final level

To this day, I have no fucking clue how it happened. I gotta find the memory card someday because it's truly bizarre and I haven't seen it replicated anywhere else on the internet.

>start playing some shitty harry potter rp on Gmod

>everyone is a fag, the teachers just give you two lines descriptions of spells, and then they throw them your way

>Hagrid isn't allowed to give us spells but he gets us in his hut and shit

>people start casting fumos and basically the whole hut is turned into a vapehouse

>we get out into the yard and he shows us some statues of creatures which he briefly describes

>he tells us to try and sit on them, but we soon find out it's impossible

>turning around, i see a tiny dragon fly my way with a little saddle

>i sit on him

>a mic goes off "Can you please not sit on me?"

>"S-Sorry" i say as i get off

>get killed 2 minutes later by an angry Voldemort servant

>while I suck the fluids dry of sustenance like a fat slut that shoots arrows from her vagina while the sucks you off

>Game turns into a wresle match between two homos that both want to be on top

I chuckled

>>13735238

>join shitty Harry Potter RP serb

>pick Muggle Studies teacher as job

>give lessons about the truth of the holocaust and other /pol/ approved topics with a thick russian accent

>4 hours later

>b&, reason: Antisemitism

Funnily enough none of the students ever complained, everyone just showed up to my useless no-spells class to have a laugh.

>>13736051

Well, Harry has always been a white supremacist.

Good thread OP.

> Playing F-zero GX

> Level Mute city High stakes

> Final lap, second place

> At least the 50th time I played the track, little sweaty

> Nearing the finish line

> Bot in the 1st place is winning

> Bot goes over a ramp

> Goes Sanic speed right off the track

> First place

I chuckled

>playing Godzilla Melee on Gamecube

>still getting a feel for the game so am somewhat stupid about type matchups

>playing as Ghidorah

>Gigan is slicing my shit up

>fight is down to the wire on the last round

>decide to try and back off for a moment to get a breather

>accidentally jump into the energy fence

>because of the angle, I wound up bouncing behind a building and slamming all three of my faces against it and end up on my ass

>round over

>I won

>wut

>turns out Gigan was trying to come straight at me and when the building came down from my tard jump, it landed on him and did the pixel of damage and knocked him out

>playing same game

>had invincibility frames during wakeup attacks

>still would throw buildings at monsters getting back up

>playing with cousin

>being mechagodzilla

>his wakeup attack was a handstand where he rotated his legs 360 before standing

>buildings normally just rolled through eachother and hand no object physics beyond lifting and throwing

>cousin chucks a building at me during getup

>building fucking rockets out of the screen straight up

>cousin and I freeze in total shock before laughing our asses off at the fuckup of physics

good times

>>13734044

Here's some of my experience with helldivers.

>Decide to try and fight an enemy boss creature

>The cybork boss, a giant mix of a tank and a mecha

>Start calling it the king of tanks

>Get killed several times while fighting it

>Manageto call in other helldivers to help

>We are doing jack all with out rocket launchers

>At one point a fourth player joins in

>While the rest of us are blowing up the summoned monstrosities and AA turrets the king of tanks keeps on dropping, he goes and summons a line of land mines down

>Then another and a third one

>After that we basically just keep on running in sircles on that arena, blowing up cyborg soldiers of increasing level and those AA turrets, while this one guy keeps on spamming mines

>Realize that it's working, the king of tanks is actually dying to those mines

>Keep this cat and mouse game up while arena is getting filled with even more dangerous monsters, first soldiers, then those berserker fuckers, then the fat guys with gattling guns and shields and finally their armored brothers

>Tank is on its last threads and two of us who brought rocket launchers fire away, i with my single shot (reloadable) one and the other with his 4 shot commando variant

>The king of tanks is dead and we leave that hellhole of a planet with 150 influence on our belts

Since that day when ever i have gone against the king of tanks, i have always mimiced that one guys anti tank build, bringing enough mines to hold the entire Maginot line with.

>playing retail NA Lineage 2 like 12 years ago

>in one of the top clans on my server, constantly own one of the major castles

>new alliance rises up on the backs of paying slavs to powerlevel their characters and RMT currency buying

>my alliance, significantly more legitimate players, getting pissed about the rise of bullshit illegal P2W going on

>declare war, over the next several months back and forth, trading possession of castles and fighting over raid bosses

>hatch plan on ventrilo to infiltrate cancer clan

>my main was a highly desired support class necessary for high-level EXP parties

>fake a bunch of clan drama bullshit, leave clan, and "join" cancer P2W clan

>slowly but surely climb clan ranks while staying inconspicuous

>eventually earn the trust of clan leader, play on his account while powerleveling him instead of my character

>log on, wipe the clan warehouse the fuck out of all of their bought equipment, materials, weapons, enchant scrolls, etc…

>take a massive amount of currency he had stored on his auction Dwarf

>leave, rejoin home clan, causes major infighting in cancer clan's alliance, effectively ending that alliance's push toward server top-tier

And that's how I kike balkanized P2W MMO cancer once.

pic related, actual shot of the Russian that leveled their accounts

>tf2 back when it cost shekels

>the sanvitch update just dropped

>in that one CP map that ended in that complex in the desert right before a chokepoint in a wild west town

>other team was pushing our shit in

>"Hey, let's all go heavy and rush the points!"

>everyone agrees an switches over

>half of the heavies pushed into the first point by punching the shit out of everything while the other half soaked up turret bullets and blocked our main pushers

>the first half capture the first point and make a bee line to the second one

>it gets captured while we play defense

>our collective faces when we captured the third point while punching the shit out of any senteries nearby

I miss TF2 before all that hat shit.

>play game

>rng happens lmao xD so funny so cool

>outplay and win! hella epic friend

What's the point of this thread besides making up stories ?

>>13740755

>Or when Heavies would sit on the payload and ride it while eating and basically being fucking invincible?

>that one heavy and medic team that ubers their way to the bomb drop point

>pre pyro-airblast

Fuck, this entire decade has been great ideas fucked by the new generation. How did it go so badly so fast?

>>13740771

Airblast was a necessity to keep Pyro in the game and to give him actual purpose, but it took them five years to realize that oh shit maybe we should make it momentum based instead of M2-to-win. All unlockables are shit though because none of the changes took into consideration the original gameplay philosophy and just tried to get people to play other classes too (the Medic update happened because no one wanted to be a fucking mobile dispenser, so instead of fixing the problem they gave people a way to insta uber). Game wouldn't have stagnated if they had kept a bunch of constraints to their weapons, i.e. only support classes can self heal, offensive classes cannot have extra HP, movement must come at the cost of firepower or health, Sniper is the only one who can crit at a distance etc.

>Playing Halo 1 multiplayer with 3 friends.

>Me and another guy are rush in have fun types, the two others are campers.

>Random teams, i go with rush guy.

>Play on that gigantic level for 16 people i think, the one that has two fortresses and a long way of plains between them.

>Two campers are camping on the best spot on the roof of their fort.

>We get fed up and get a Scorpion near a wall at the middle of the level.

>We get another one and start fucking around while the others are waiting.

>Turn one Scorpion upside down and drive the second one on top.

>"Hurr durr they are having sex!" (teens back then).

>Decide i will press the flip button on the bottom one to see what happens.

>(For those who don't know, it fucking flips the whole 9-man tank straight so that it can be driven again.)

>For some reason the game forgets what physics mean.

>The Scorpion on top gets launched to the air very quickly and starts bouncing on the borders of the level.

>It keeps hitting on everything and gaining mid-air speed for some reason, exploding vehicles and everything.

>We fucking hide in some cave.

>1 weird minute of laughing later, the flying Scorpion lands on the two campers hiding on the fortresses's roof.

>Both killed, we won.

>tfw

>God Hand

>playing on hard mode and it is fucking brutal

>finally at the (second to last) boss

>i can hear my blood pumping

>just as the boss is about to die, he does his punch-rush pose and attacks me

>oh fuck

>at this point the music is nearing it's climax

>have never mashed buttons so fast in my life

>the song ends just as I land my last punch

>cum buckets

This was before syncing up songs to boss fights was even a thing. It was also my first playthrough of it on hard, making it extra memorable. My arm was sore at the part where it connects to my shoulder for days after, but I noticed that my arm actually got stronger afterwards, so now I can buttonmash at the speed of sound.

And that is how I became GAR.

>playing NFS Shift on the ecksbawks 360 mid-2010

>free multiplayer weekend

>barely anyone online

>get matched up with one other player

>race starts, screen is entirely black except for the HUD

>spend the entire race staring at the minimap while driving as carefully as can be

>neither of us are trying to ram each other, although the other player brakes much earlier than I do

>win the race

>graphics go back to normal

Am I the only one who has experienced this particular bug?

I haven't seen it mentioned anywhere OTI.

>Playing Final Fantasy the crystal bearers

>Fucking lost on one of the open world parts of the game

>Know i need to get a train to somewhere, but i haven't the foggiest idea of where the fuck this train is

>Happens along something that looks like a train station

>While waiting to see if a train will appear hear someone scream behind me

>Somehow i guy just set himself on fire and is running mad in the station

>The fire spreads to other npcs so he is spreading it to the other 5~6 npcs on the station

>Dreadfully discovers the fire can spread to me too

>Get the fuck away from the train stop because all of them gravitated to the lower floor and they can't get back up

>Have no HP to tank the fire so i'm just looking the absurdity that is those 6 idiots spreading the burning status to each other ad infinitum

>Train finally appears

>Train leaves

>Can't get down to the platform because there is 6 fucking niggers on fire on it.

And that's the only thing i remember about that game.

>Gran Turismo 6

>Found a random lobby with fixed cars

>It's a race on the Daytona oval

>Race begins

>Through drafting, make it up to p3, with the leaders, race goes smoothly for the most part

>Except for that one guy, the one in the Viper

>On the straights he can pass me via drafting, but I can take the position back just as easily

>On the corners he loses a lot of speed, so he makes sure to ram me

>Constantly claw my way back up to him, this happens 6 times in the race

>Final lap, just out of the final turn

>I'm ahead

>He's getting speed off of my slipstream

>I can hear him over voice chat taunting me

>Instead of letting him cleanly pass, it's time for gentlemanly revenge.

>I match his overtaking move, he taps me on the rear bumper. I blocked him.

>I get a boost of speed, enough to pull away from him again and more than enough to take the win.

>All of a sudden, hear very quietly over voice chat "noooo you fucking fag"

>That's what he gets

>But it's not what he deserves