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No.403515 [Last50 Posts]
Impending divorce (or worse) at work Pathfinder group, not sure how best to handle things or escape the blast radius...
>monthly Pathfinder game with coworkers and wives, even some other family
>close knit, calm, chill, enjoyable game that a coworker's wife runs
>Coworker (we'll call him Dave) and his wife (Blob) have issues
>BAD issues related to Blob's weight, poor health, refusal to work out or change her diet
>wasn't like this before, got into tabletop and her health declined as she got absorbed in making these games for us
>Dave's self-esteem is critically low like he made Charisma his dump stat, only reason he stays with her really
>All of Dave's characters are the opposite, wish fulfillment and shit
>Blob, as DM, makes a lot of "homely" shall we say women in her game
>spends time describing how the rural communities we visit are not filled with attractive women because they work hard labor in the dirt and don't have makeup and gain weight to protect themselves against famine, all fairly believable stuff
>nobles are also fat though because they can afford to be fat, ugly but hide it with makeup
>monsters are ugly too, there are no attractive people in this campaign who are not PCs
>finally, after years, Blob introduces an attractive Naga (Yuanti? Not sure, snake person) NPC because Naga are supposed to be seductive and shit, describes her as being very hot because its part of a poorly concealed plot to seduce a party member
>Dave takes the bait like his testicles would explode if he didn't
>Blob is unsettled with his fervor but continues unabated
>Dave's charming Rogue character obviously attempts to fuck the snake
>Dave's character is married in game but he says the Naga is so hot he'll do it anyways as a promiscuous rogue that he is
>Blob is MORE visibly upset, continues on like a champion
>"I'll ask for a Will check for you to resist her wiles and remain faithful."
>"I don't resist and willingly fail it."
>she spends a second thinking and then says she wants to cut to black and move to other party members who are elsewhere in town doing things
>ends up just calling it quits because we hit our time and said she'd get to it later because Dave is making jokes about it now and how much he's going to fuck up that scale pussy
Everything is tense but relatively okay after that until I have a computer issue because I think I've fucked up my motherboard installing a new GPU into it and Dave is the resident computer hardware guy...
>go over to see Dave after he agrees to help
>meet him, looks exhausted and haggard, kids are in the back room playing games but I can tell they're not super into it, something is wrong
>ask him point blank if he's in a position to help me or if he needs help
>"Well, Blob about killed the kids."
>woah, woah, woah, fucking BOLD statement to make
>"Susie was grabbed by some man off the street, like some nightmare shit, and Blob tried to chase after him but couldn't because she's so fat. Susie got away and ran to the cops, I had to pick her up from there and hear that my wife is in the ER because her heart couldn't handle her running for the first time in years like that. My wife failed to save her, Susie saved herself. She could've died or worse..."
>fuck man thats wild, not sure how to handle it, he's said his piece and wants to move on right now, destress a bit from things, working a computer is relaxing so thats why he offered even in this situation
>try to let him help as best he can, my problem is sorted out, stay a bit and drink, leave
>everything seems okay, Susie isn't too traumatized (she's young enough to bounce back) but Dave is less elastic
>actively resents his wife for being "useless" all month until the next game
The next months' session ends up being a complete trainwreck, predictably.
____________________________
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No.403518
>>403515
>Pathfinder.
Well, this is your first problem right here. But please, continue.
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No.403520
>monthly game comes around, pick up where we left off
>Blob is trying to skirt the snake sex issue, she is clearly stressed, shaken, and otherwise in a bad way but the same way that Dave uses computers she needs her fantasy world to take her away from things
>this does not go well as Dave immediately pushes back into the snake fucking that did not happen last time
>everyone else in the group thinks that this will help Dave's self-esteem because Blob has been complaining to the women in the group that they're not very intimate these past few weeks
>they, mistakenly, think its because of his low self-esteem
>it is clearly because Blob about lost one of his kids to what we can only assume was a street abductor
>this makes me powerless to shift the subject or try and get Dave to do anything else
>laughter, drinks, everyone wants Dave to go to pound town on this snake woman so Blob has no way out, she tries to cut to black again but the belligerent mass (we're twelve players total, yes I know thats fucked) won't have it
>Blob attempts to artfully navigate the intricacies of fucking a snake, with details that tell me she has done a little too much research on how snakes mate
>Dave is being tactfully graphic, enough to keep the table happy but not uncomfortable, since we're all adults and even the wives are pretty good sex doesn't bother us much
>this back and forth gets more and more tense as I pick up that some of these bedroom details are excessively personal, veiled attacks on the other party that get less and less hidden as things progress
>we go from "Oh is she into some kinky things? My wife at home would never let me do that..." into "Well at least while she's constricting me to death I'll die touched by a FIT woman."
>no longer the only person who understands whats happening as they start shouting at each other
>this at their house so I nudge someone to check on the kids, take them somewhere else or keep them occupied at least before things explode
>things VIOLENTLY explode
>"Oh so I just have to be a fucking snake to get some dick around here do I?"
>"No, you just have to be less of a disgustingly fat fuck that my dick won't send you to the emergency room for a second time."
>"I was trying to save our daughter from a-"
>"MY daughter, if you gave half a fuck you wouldn't have gained half a ton of weight so that you can't do your fucking job of protecting MY child. I'm the only one who cares here so why should you be involved at all? Lets play fucking make believe where I make believe my wife can run two blocks to save "her" daughter. I'll roll for that!"
>chucks a fistful of dice at Blob
>dice don't even connect before she's crying so they just sort of slide off her wet face and make little wet tracks on her NPC character sheets
>runs out of the room
>women follow
>men stay
>we try to disentangle this Gordian knot of issues, Dave is crying now too, doesn't know what to do or how to handle things at this point
>Dave goes home with someone else to stay with them for a while at one of the wive's suggestion, we all think thats probably a decent idea at this point
>work resumes the following Monday and I'm the first one in the office to find the snake NPC's character sheet, tear streaks still there but now its also covered in what I can only assume, based on smell, is vomit
>theres a printed out letter accompanying it saying, to be brief, that Blob will just puke up everything she eats until shes a "good wife"
>this is super no bueno, shred the paper, dumpster the sheet
>there is no way Dave, in his current state, can handle that shit
>tell Dave NOTHING except the fact that they both need to get help
Dave and Blob are still at a standstill, Dave still isn't home (its been two weeks) but the issues have spread to other households now too.
TLDR; Snake pussy gouged out a buried marital issue and now everything is ruined and our 3 year Pathfinder game is collateral.
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No.403521
Holy shit that escalated fast.
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No.403522
>>403521
Nobody wants to read a sixteen part greentext, and I don't think I could make it interesting for that long, where everything is detailed point by point so I just grabbed the highlights. The history of smaller fights, issues, and precursors are less important and the key events here were all between one game and another so a month. Basically this is an unavoidable atom bomb that Dave set off in his house and the radiation sickness is now in everyone else's house, even my girlfriend I don't live with is somehow catching the tail wind of this shit because Dave tried to hit on her drunk last week. We're all trying to just contain things until they can divorce and stay seperated with a chainlink fence or something.
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No.403523
>>403520
>12 Players
>All of them want explicit Snake Sex.
Jesus H. Christ. There is so much wrong with this story. I mean, on one hand everything is plausible, on the other hand this just sounds like OP writing out fake and gay stories to get his hate-chub for fatties up to full mast.
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No.403524
>>403523
When you say it like that it sounds like everyone wants to beat off to it but everyone was mostly just into it because they thought it would help Dave with his self-esteem issues and it was also funny, I may not have hit that nail hard enough. We're all VERY worried about his mental health. We do what we can to give him his wins, if he wants to fuck the snake? We support the snake fucking. I mean fuck, I'm pretty sure if he tried to rob a bank someone would put on a mask and give him a pat on the back, he's been out of work for days at a night due to his mental health already and we don't want him to An Hero.
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No.403525
I was initially ready to be disappointed by this thread, but this has been great. Hell's bells, OP, thanks for sharing all this. To potentially provide a solution to your predicament, I think there are a few basic things you should do without stepping on anyone's toes.
>make regular, face-to-face contact with Dave to ensure he's still holding together
If necessary, you might need to hold an intervention and ask him to give up drinking or other self-destructive habits since they would hurt more than help at this point.
>write some statements of the evenings in question and other relevant details from previous sessions, and have them witnessed/authorized so they bear some legal authority
I think the inevitable divorce will be the hardest thing here, since women are so privileged in the legal system and Dave likely won't get custody, and may end up paying huge amounts of child support. I don't know how wealthy you are, but if you can find a good divorce attorney, then you might be able to pool some money with the other campaign members (or at least just the men) and help prevent him from being torn to shreds by the (((courts))).
Failing that, I dunno, buy him a dakimakura or something.
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No.403544
>>403520
>"No, you just have to be less of a disgustingly fat fuck that my dick won't send you to the emergency room for a second time."
>Lets play fucking make believe where I make believe my wife can run two blocks to save "her" daughter. I'll roll for that!"
I'm really sorry about you having to deal with this drama, but holy fuck that's great.
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No.403545
>>403520
I hope the other players know full well their hands aren't clean from this event. Did you volunteer to DM next session?
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No.403560
>>403525
I don't know a whole lot about divorce courts and legal affairs but I'll definitely try and get him in touch with someone once thats a more definite thing, at the moment I just think it'd be too much added stress. Drinking is really his only self destructive habit besides staying married to someone who is clearly a bad fit though and I doubt he'd give it up. He's definitely fucked in court but we'll cross that bridge when we get there, drinking may be necessary.
>>403544
Yeah the banter was pretty hot for someone who struggles with good responses to mom jokes, didn't know he had it in him but I guess you learn a lot about people when they feel cornered.
>>403545
I think they've come around to understanding now that we're all at the same level of information, its probably part of their side issues - guilt over causing this to happen, at least in part. Definitely didn't volunteer to do any DM work, not a big Pathfinder fan (I'm here on /tg/ aren't I? Its fair to assume I have SOME taste) and trying to teach a bunch of 30-50 year old adults how to play imaginary in a different ruleset would be a hard sell. Don't know if you've ever tried to teach an adult anything new in a category they feel they already know something but we're very stubborn once we learn a way to do something and fuck you if you have a different way. I still pry bottle caps off with my teeth because thats how I was taught to fucking do it and no dick huffer is going to tell me to use an opener.
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No.403572
Well, alright, I'll admit that's one of the better greentext stories I've seen lately. Be sure to tell us about the divorce.
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No.403573
>>403560
Was blob a blob when Dave married her? I'm just a short time away from getting my complimentary wizard robe but I'm not so desperate I'd marry a lard-golem. I'd be embarrassed to look anyone in the eye and tell people that it was my wife. Two good friendships I once had ended precisely because I couldn't bring myself to bless the union between my friends and their blue-ribbon hogs. They chose enslavement to rancid pussy over their own freedom from it.
The path you must take is clear, peace is a lie, mercy, a vice. You must be the accelerant that strengthens the flame. Anonymously send pictures of bikini models to the Blob and treat Dave to the best strip-club in your region, regularly. Then while Dave is getting a lap-dance take a video and send it to the blob. As their parents spiral into mutually destructive behaviors the children will bear witness and if they are strong enough to survive will learn exactly what kind of people and what kind of parents to never become.
The old brush must be burned away so that the young saplings can grow and prosper -this you must do, it is your sacred duty.
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No.403576
>>403573
I like the cut of your jib, son.
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No.403578
>>403573
Nah, go for peaceful separation, or outright smear campaign against blob, otherwise you might cause enough fireworks to give the kids a mental disorder, some of which include being gay.
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No.403581
>>403573
She wasn't as big before but she was still overweight, she only got really obese though when Dave helped her get into tabletop gaming and she just kind of lost herself into it. Once their kids came along she had a lot of time at home by herself and since she was too unattractive to have other options to cheat with I guess she just got into tabletop gaming really hard. We're talking learned 3D modelling and bought a printer to make figurines and terrain for us to play with, which would be really cool if that passion wasn't at the cost of her overall health.
>crash and burn everything
He has to be able to stand on his own feet first and thats going to be a slow process, without it her being on fire won't prevent him from trying to get back with her anyways. The issue is that he's not very attractive himself, he has a good job and aint lacking for brains but he looks like fucking Quasimodo and isn't much taller than him (5' 4" by my guess.) Hard to move on when you know you're going back into a market that doesn't want you.
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No.403588
This guy and his wife almost sound like a bizarro version of that one anon on here who had the hots for a girl playing a lamia. Hopefully they turned out better off than these two at least.
>>403520
>chucks a fistful of dice at Blob
>dice don't even connect before she's crying so they just sort of slide off her wet face and make little wet tracks on her NPC character sheets
Well, what was the roll?
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No.403589
>>403588
OH FUCK WHY DIDN'T I THINK TO CHECK THE DICE WHAT IF IT WAS A CRIT
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No.403601
>>403588
>that one anon on here who had the hots for a girl playing a lamia
>implying that was real
Harem-kun, yeah. I was trying to dig up the old threads and compare details (because frankly that'd be hilarious), but I can't seem to find them.
Does anyone have the archives? I know they're on archive.fo, but its search feature is so shitty I can only find people mentioning the threads on other boards. Not even cross-referencing through DuckDuckGo - a normally quite competent search engine - is helping in this instance.
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No.403605
Hot damn, OP, that was a literary rollercoaster there: a slow climb up the tracks suddenly giving way to a twisting thriller I legitimately let out a whoop during. There's some good and bad to this whole debacle, so let's start with the bad news: Dave is about to start taking home a lot less money, and those kids are probably gonna need a lot of therapy in a few decades. >>403525 is right, divorce courts won't give a shit about Blob's physical or mental health and will try to give her custody because she has a vagina; you should definitely start getting ready to serve as a character witness, and try to round up other people to help him out. Reach out to anyone who was there with his daughter when she was grabbed to talk about how it happened, the important part is tellling a scary story about a little girl in danger. Feelings are much more powerful than facts for this sort of thing. It's a slim chance, but maybe things will get better for those kids.
Let's get to the good news though: things will certainly get better for you! Your biggest problem is that you're playing a shitty system with far too many players, and this is the shake up you need to get a small group using a well designed system to tell a better story. Make sure to talk with each of the other players and get their takes on the whole thing, because your new group is going to have some seriously fun opportunities for Dave (and everyone else) to be a badass hero, and having half the party hate him would put a serious damper on that mood. Let the pro-Blob people go ask her when their next session is.
Since they're all used to DnD/Pathfinder already, I recommend introducing them to Dungeon World as your new system, which takes all of 10 minutes to teach since all dice rolls are 2d6+modifier, with 6- a failure, 7-9 is success at a cost, and 10+ is success. The real beauty of the system, however, is that it's designed for narrative and character driven games, meaning the gameplay itself is going to encourage Dave to act up his character and get his wish fulfillment. The rulebook gives the GM a list of "Principles" to adhere to, including Embrace the Fantastic, and Be a Fan of the Characters. For a character example, barbarians get a potential bonus to their roll if their actions are pursuing a "Herculian appetite," such as Fame & glory, or Power over others.
Don't let this opportunity pass you by. Cut the fat (hah) from your group, turn your back on bloated d20 systems, and start playing a game that encourages your friend to be a more proactive, self-confident person.
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No.403609
>>403520
>that Blob will just puke up everything she eats until shes a "good wife"
Bulimia doesn't do shit. I get it, jumping into working out from being a fatty sucks, but there's no easy shortcuts in life. Diet and exercise is hard work, but you just have to fucking do it. Seeing that she does have some sort of drive to change, you could seemingly convince her to eat healthier and exercise. Dave needs to either cut her off and divorce her, or fucking commit to a diet plan and exercise with her. The latter being the cheaper route of course.
>"No, you just have to be less of a disgustingly fat fuck that my dick won't send you to the emergency room for a second time."
>"MY daughter, if you gave half a fuck you wouldn't have gained half a ton of weight so that you can't do your fucking job of protecting MY child. I'm the only one who cares here so why should you be involved at all? Lets play fucking make believe where I make believe my wife can run two blocks to save "her" daughter. I'll roll for that!"
>chucks a fistful of dice at Blob
That's fucking hilarious
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No.403613
>>403609
>Seeing that she does have some sort of drive to change, you could seemingly convince her to eat healthier and exercise
She's throwing a temper tantrum, not expressing a desire to change.
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No.403615
>>403515
Greetings from /just/. I've heard about the snakepussy ruining a marriage and came here to post memes.
>inb4 alimony
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No.403616
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No.403624
Is it realistic for a husband to expect even a /fit/ woman to defeat a street criminal in single combat?
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No.403628
>>403624
A 2d /fit/ girl can. 3dpd, not so much.
So no. Best bet is to either become a wizard r get a robo-waifu.
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No.403631
>>403624
Defeat in combat?
No.
But stopping from stealing your daughter/son?
Yeah.
Like, at that point all you have to do is oppose the guy taking away your child using your own weight, making noise and overall making it harder for the guy to get away.
You have to think this from the perspective of the kidnapper, it's not just about being stronger but also about not being followed, recognized nor having attention drawn to you.
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No.403634
>>403615
<50,000 gold pieces/moon
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No.403642
I'd divorce my spouse if I learned they had awful taste in monstergirls, too.
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No.403650
>>403560
>He's definitely fucked in court but we'll cross that bridge when we get there, drinking may be necessary.
It's an uphill battle, and you have to be not only smart but proactive, but it's not a lost cause. If finances allow it, I'd lawyer up now rather than waiting for papers to get served.
One thing in particular: 'Dave' needs to be recording any and all interactions with 'Blob' from here on out. Acquire some means of covertly recording audio or video (pen camera in the breast pocket, voice recorder wristwatch, whatever works) keep it on his person at all times, and flick it on at the first sign of trouble. Storage media is cheap and it pays to be paranoid. Also find out what is admissible as evidence in your jurisdiction; where I live as long as one party knows the recording's being made you're good to go, which is why this trick works.
Source: An acquaintance of mine who fought his ex-wife in divorce court and won.
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No.403659
>>403522
Nigger if you can’t read that then you sure as shit are not reading the rule books for pen and paper.
>>403525
You need to make it clear that the courts know she is neglectful to her children. Have him record video of her ignoring her kids or the like and have him present it in court.
Inb4 she pulls a Lorena Bobbit.
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No.403662
>>403650
>'Dave' needs to be recording any and all interactions with 'Blob' from here on out.
Oh, and I forgot to mention. As another example of this, that vomited-on character sheet and written admission of an eating disorder? That may be something you should've hung onto, or at least photographed for evidence.
>sage because doublepost
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No.403667
>>403515
Time to find a new job and a new gaming group. Both without women in them.
Holes ruin everything.
Getting /fit/ isn’t hard. Eat healthier and move more. Blobs just blame it all on others and make excuses.
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No.403669
>>403642
I agree. Slime girls can be good, but gelatinous cube girls just aren't worth the trouble. Props to Dave for realizing the superior
>>403650
>>403662
I concur with both of these points, and the pocket recorder is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. Don't know how trusting Dave is of the courts, but he should take this opportunity to give up harmful habits like drinking and present himself as positively as humanly possible for the judge/jury he'll be going before. The courts won't know anything about him, and he will need to fight for every inch of reasonable doubt.
>vomited-upon character sheet
Yeah, you made a big error in destroying this. I know it isn't in the nature of most men to be petty and vindictive, but the legal system will reward you for acting this way. If there is anything, absolutely any piece of evidence that makes Blob look bad, you need to archive the fuck out of it.
Hell, depending on how much free time you have, you might want to crawl through your contact history with her and see if there are any patterns (or "patterns") which would feasibly indicate she can't be trusted with the kids.
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No.403674
>>403669
>realizing the superior
But yeah. The manlet already was in a bad position by staying out of the house for two weeks, leaving the kids with blob.
Best thing would be professional help, either a medical professional that helps blob not be a danger to herself, and extension, family, or legal.
Legal is particularly needed if the manlet starts recording. And yeah, shit like that letter would have been prime evidence because blob left it at the workplace.
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No.403679
>everyone telling OP what to do to help his friend out
But he's that guy. And he plays Pathfinder. He deserves no mercy from us.
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No.403683
>>403679
He married a blob, he's suffered enough.
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No.403689
>>403683
No he didn't, the woman he married turned into a blob because he was too insecure to say anything or break it off when the red flags started coming up. His karma simply caught up with him.
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No.403707
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No.403716
>>403515
>>403520
If you’re cool with my two cents; I think that pushing Dave to plan a divorce right away would be excessive at this point. Blob, from what you’ve written so far, does not sound like that bad a woman outside of her refusal to take care of her health and mild “muh representation” faggotry. She’s not adulterous, she’s not abusive to Dave or the kids, and she apparently didn’t even give Dave any real shit for acting out his wank fantasies in public like That Guy. If anything Dave sounds like the bitchy/manipulative one for never putting his foot down about her obesity and for passive aggressively jacking it in front of her to spite her like he’s Kevin Khatchadourian instead of actually talking about what happened.
Maybe I’m too generous; maybe you’re holding back the worst of their issues, or Blob is an absolute dragon at home behind everyone else’s back. But that’s not what i’m hearing so far.
I think once both have calmed down as much as they can, Dave should come clean to Blob about all his fears and worries about her health and capacity to help raise and look after the kids in her current state and make it clear she has to get fitter for their lives to continue. The close-call kidnapping and minor heart attack should’ve been all the incentive necessary to get her to want to cut the weight, he just needs to make it clear that it starts now and offer his encouragement as she starts whatever diet & exercise plan the doctor insists on.
Now to be clear, if she’s a full HAAS cunt in denial of what happened, she’s a lost cause, but it would be a disservice to everyone involved if that olive branch wasn’t at least extended before just straight up “cutting the ballast” so to speak.
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No.403720
>>403716
>Blob, from what you’ve written so far, does not sound like that bad a woman outside of her refusal to take care of her health and mild “muh representation” faggotry. She’s not adulterous, she’s not abusive to Dave or the kids,
>not abusive
What are your standards for abuse that not being able to protect your children isn't abusive? It wasn't a "wakeup call" like the kind you'd get from a bellhop at the Four Seasons, it was nearly a child being kidnapped, raped, and murdered.
You are also extremely naive if you think an obese woman won't influence the way her children behave. All women are like that, for better or for worse, and it is definitely abuse, regardless of what the courts may or may not say.
>and she apparently didn’t even give Dave any real shit for acting out his wank fantasies in public like That Guy.
You mean the naga that SHE put in the game for the explicit purpose of seducing a party member? The one which everyone at the table wanted Dave to fuck? DMing a 12-man group as a social outlet means you reap what you sow when putting characters like that in the game; if she's too much of a fragile cow to take her husband joking about fucking a snake woman, then she shouldn't have given him the opportunity.
>If anything Dave sounds like the bitchy/manipulative one for never putting his foot down about her obesity
It's weak behaviour for a man, but neither bitchy nor manipulative.
>passive aggressively jacking it in front of her to spite her like he’s Kevin Khatchadourian instead of actually talking about what happened.
>Kevin Khatchadourian
<"Kevin Khatchadourian is the titular main antagonist of the 2003 Lionel Shriver novel We Need to Talk About Kevin and it's 2011 film adaption of the same name. He is a school teen student whose responsible for a school massacre along with the deaths of his father and sister."
<making comparisons to a 15-year-old YA novel about a toxic incel school shooter as though everyone is supposed to know who that character is
You need to be 18 years old to post on this website. Spend a few years lurking while you grow up.
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No.403734
>>403720
ERPing is not okay, anon. Dave and Blob deserve each other.
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No.403737
>>403734
>DM puts snake cloaca in the game
>player jumps at the chance because it'd be funny
>DM gets pissy
>this is somehow the player's fault
Don't dish it out if you can't take it.
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No.403743
>>403737
Fucking the snake woman doesn't mean you have to describe it, dipshit. This whole group is retarded.
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No.403746
>>403720
>that first image
Fucking horse shit! In my first couple years of high school I weighed fucking 230 pounds. Now nearly 7 years later I’m at 170 and have been for a long time. Fuck that lazy fat cow! Shot like this pisses me off to no end because they’re actually hurting someone’s health to make themselves feel good about their trash health!
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No.403747
>>403609
Keto diet you faggots.
>>403634
Pic related.
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No.403755
>>403746
congrats on keeping it off anon.
i was 240 (250 at my heaviest) now 3 years later I'm 160. its all about eating healthy and working out.
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No.403760
>>403755
>was at 205
>go down to 160 (2low2bh)
>put no effort into it
K E T O
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No.403762
>>403760
keto sucks tbh its just a meme. losing weight is just a matter of eating below your TDEE. eating healthier and working out make that a lot easier.
low carb or no carb diets, or the all fat kept shit is short term, for long term success its about life style changes. cutting out processed sugars, low fat lean protein, lots and lots of veggies.
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No.403763
>>403746
>>403755
>>403760
Fucking nice. I'm a bit late to the party, but I was 225 in February, and losing my shit due to anxiety and depression. Changed my diet (basically keto) and I've been 165 pounds since September, and I've never been better mentally in my life, no more joint pain (which I hadn't even realized was an issue), regular bowel movements, and no more random extreme drowsiness. Didn't even work out, but I've started to because now I love moving. It's amazing what no longer poisoning and starving myself nutritionally every single day does for health. Go fucking figure.
Had I known this shit in high school, my entire life would be different.
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No.403764
>>403762
Nigga I loosely stayed on that shit for roughly a year and was fine. Its a meme that works.
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No.403766
>>403720
>What are your standards for abuse that not being able to protect your children isn't abusive?
Devil's advocate, that's negligence. Abuse would require actively doing harm rather than allowing harm to happen by inaction (or inability to take action as the case may be).
>>403762
And keto is a simple and effective way of keeping what you eat below your TDEE by cutting out the worst shit. Meme or not, it works. Anything you do is short term if you just revert to eating shit and sitting on ass again, that's not a problem exclusive to keto.
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No.403768
>>403766 (checked)
true keto is way too much fat and way too few protons. you need your protons when cutting otherwise you loose a ton of muscle mass.
too much fat, especially animal fat. is bad for your heart.
eating so few carbs is difficult for most people, even harder for a noob. and if you go over the carb limit you ruin the point of keto diet. 50 g of carbs is nothing.
also, fat is much more calorically dense. 1 tbsp of coconut oil is the same as a pound of broccoli (110kcal) if you're used to eating a lot, better to go with lower cal veggies and lean meats.
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No.403771
>>403768
>protons
Pretty sure you meant Proteins
>too much fat, especially animal fat. is bad for your heart.
Bullshit, there's no proof of that. Animal fats like lard and butter are consumed en masse in many cultures, with no significant increase in heart problems. The only fat that is dangerous is transfat.
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No.403899
>31 year old wizard
>148kg (326 pounds) in October
>now 123kg (271 pounds)
>want to break under 100kg (220 pounds)
>diet consists of protein shakes, lean meat, veg and fruit
>exercising 6 times a week
Still a long way to go, but we're all gonna make it /fit/ /tg/.
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No.403917
>>403899
If no one's said it yet, I'm proud of you and your progress anon
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No.403939
>>403899
6 times a week? That's commitment. Keep at it.
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No.403947
>>403899
We are proud of your progress and believe in you. Keep it up, anon, you can do it!
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No.403948
>>403768
I've been on Keto for two years before. Only diet that ever managed to have me lose weight while also raising my motivation to do things/raise my energy, and it didn't even need calculations (as long as you do your research once on what vegetables to largely avoid due to high carb count). You don't need to count calories either, since you rarely, if ever, overeat once you're in ketosis.
Yeah, it sucks for the first month. Really, really sucks. And its relatively expensive.
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No.403953
>>403624
Define single combat. In a gun fight? Yes, your average street thug is a terrible shot - though the /fit/ aspect has nothing to do with this one. With a weapon? I don't know why a girl would wander down the street with a sword or spear or some medieval shit, but sure, it's possible, I guess.
Bare handed? No, probably not. It we're talking about both /fit/ and combat training, then if the girl can take the fight to the ground, and the opponent is untrained and not significantly heavier (30lb+ more), there's a better than 50% chance. To use the two most famous nog victims: a Trayvon Martin type is feasible, a Michael Brown type has simply too much mass. However, what even your average /fit/ girl could do in the latter case is run away from the latter. In any case, it's better to be trained than not, and better to be /fit/ than not. Even a 1% chance is better than a 0% chance.
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No.403959
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No.403966
>>403520
...hory sheet.
Reminds me of this guy I don't game with anymore. He's one of those human calculator types capable of nigh instinctively selecting the most mathematically sound decisions in any game he plays.
Playing tabletop games with him is a nightmare. Esp games like Arkham horror of the pathfinder card game. Since he knows the optimal route to take, you do what he says or you're and idiot who wants to lose the game.
That was bad enough, but his wife also games. She has the typical gf half paying attention at the table issues, but in her defense he's trained her to just listen and do as he says so OF COURSE she's not really learning the system or thinking for herself. And like any couple in a long term relationship they're no longer embarrassed to fight in public.
Last time I went to their house and gamed was for a generic superhero deck building game, forget the name of it. After a 45 minute scream fest we all just kind of called it.
tl;dr couples and games NEVER mix. Even if 99% of the time it's fine, one day someone is just quietly fuming at your partner for some irl drama and it always ends up blowing up the session.
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No.403967
>>403899
nice work brah, we are all gonna make it.
being a fit neckbeard is the crazy multiclass.
its like not fitting in with two groups.
>>403771
>Pretty sure you meant Proteins
>implying typos by anons aren't intentional
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No.403969
>>403609
Yeah, when a relationship reaches the point of leaving passive aggressive notes OR threatening self harm to guilt the other member it's already nearing the event horizon. Both at once? You're gonna wake up in the morning and find pic related making coffee in your kitchen.
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No.403977
>/tg/: Fitness and Divorce Law
I don't even need the other boards anymore
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No.403986
>>403969
Hell, the best way to deal with a relationship is to not have one in the first place.
Everything's completely fucked.
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No.403994
I hope this isn't the bad end of that Llamia-chan anon who used to be here.
>>403674
Do you have any other countries versions of that PDF? Mildly curious.
>>403720
> Getting fit is harder at 30+
> Currently 27
Fuck it.
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No.403996
>>403977
And it's not even for a campaign!!
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No.404001
>>403994
It's never early to start.
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No.404019
I went back and found the harem-kun threads on archive.fo. My initial difficulties in finding them were due to the URL change, because his story is from the 8chan.co days. Upon review, this whole thing is likely bullshit, but it's charming bullshit nonetheless.
Thread 1: https://archive.fo/UHWzJ
Thread 2: https://archive.fo/lv9Kc
Epilogue 1: https://archive.fo/xLxQ7#selection-18377.0-18401.187
Epilogue 2: https://archive.fo/SjYeR#selection-1179.0-1197.150
>>403994
Don't know if you're saying fuck it optimistically or pessimistically, but I'm seconding what >>404001 said.
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No.404072
>>403977
The old adage remains true.
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No.404084
>>404019
>It's all grills
>Range from 6/10-8/10
<in a /tg/ setting
highly unlikely.
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No.404085
>>404001
>>404019
I would certainly never wish to discourage anyone else from getting fit- irrelevant of their age.
But with where I am in the world and the income I have, I really don't have a reason to get fit. It would literally take a lottery win or a miracle for me to ever get to a competitive income level (thanks to a few dumb hail-marys that did not pay off). Not to mention I have so little experience with women that even if someone was interested in me I'd tank it in a week (let alone friendship with anyone) being bi and shit like Grindr made it easy to get laid though.
I was grown in bad soil to start with- but the vast majority of you are not. If you've got a working brain and limbs you can and will make it if you try.
>>404019
Thanks bro. And yeah, never believe any story on the internet. But don't forget how hot someone is can be relative. I can see a lot of guys having their dick jump just because a woman shares a hobby with them.
> Oh god she likes something I do! I can hear wedding bells already oh god I'm preeing!
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No.404093
>>404019
I'm pretty confident these aren't the same guy but thanks for gathering and archiving all that.
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No.404095
>>404085
>I really don't have a reason to get fit.
Reason? Just do it, why do you need some reason to do it?
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No.404102
>>404085
>I really don't have a reason to get fit
Sound body and mind. General well being. Play the odds that you live longer, with less complications. Should be more then enough.
And don't pull bullshit about finances. You don't need to go keto, and you don't need to eat organic. You might have to go in on dried beans, split peas, and other cheap staples, while investing time to cook ahead. You don't need a gym membership. Majority of weight lose is done at the table, what and how often you drink.
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No.404111
>>404085
Don't get fit for 3dpd, get fit for yourself.
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No.404114
>>404085
You will live longer
>the life you have will have significantly less aches, pains and burdens
And people hate fat fucking people
so get fit champ
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No.404117
>>403515
>>403515
>Susie was grabbed by some man off the street
what fucking third world shit hole do you live in, fucking china?
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No.404119
>>404095
>>404102
>>404111
>>404114
Thanks for the support.
It's less that I'm fat, just not fit. I'm also trying to work on getting paper first and foremost.
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No.404138
>>404119
>not fit
<so what your saying is your cryptofat.
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No.404162
>>403520
>Lets play fucking make believe where I make believe my wife can run two blocks to save "her" daughter. I'll roll for that!
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No.404171
The institution of marriage has always been to the benefit of the woman and actively harmful to the man, across all cultures, be they monogamist or polygamist, and across all times, be they industrial or primitive. Prove me wrong.
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No.404185
>>404171
I wanted to reply with how the institution of marriage was done so women have protection and men have guaranteed coitus uninterruptus, good care for their offspring and for society in general.
But now I ask myself, how the frick did this thread turn from snake snatch tabletop tales into /fit/ into /law/ into this?
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No.404190
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No.404194
>>404117
probably bongland.
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No.404200
>>404185
>I wanted to reply with how the institution of marriage was done so women have protection and men have guaranteed coitus uninterruptus, good care for their offspring and for society in general.
Do you honestly believe women are good at raising children, that they're natural caretakers? The woman is, as anyone else, an opportunistic wretch who will use and abuse people if it is advantageous. The only benefit is a man can have some semblance of a guarantee that the child he is raising is his own, but this is no guarantee because women are, as anyone else, opportunistic wretches.
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No.404209
>>404200
/r9k/ will never not produce the pissiest bitches.
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No.404210
>>404209
Women aren't better or worse than anyone anon. All creatures are selfish. Marriage as an institution was created by women, to serve women.
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No.404216
>>404209
Tell me, this nibba >>404200 be writing the lyrics for Slipknot's People=Shit.
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No.404233
>>404210
Women are biologically selfish its a fact. Producing kids takes a lot, which is why every woman is me first all the time. There's a reason why women are small and less strong then men. It takes too much effort/nutrition to do that and be a baby factory.
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No.404492
>>403716
This post reads like it was written by a Blob. We've all seen these faggots in the gaming community and they all sound like this. She's projecting her fat ass onto Blob and trying to convince "her" husband not to leave her.
A woman who engages in extreme escapism is not a good mother. She's putting her faggot elf simulator above her own family. Kidnapping or not she's fucked in the head and will cheat the first chance she gets. Anything to escape her current life.
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No.405385
So, OP? Any news on Dave's mental state and marriage?
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No.405446
>>403768
>eating so few carbs is difficult for most people,
Most people don't even count their carbs.
> tbsp of coconut oil
Vegetable and coconut oil is explicitly not recommended for keto diets, only oils made from animals.
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No.405469
>>405446
If you have no choice but to eat a vegetable oil, it has to be olive oil. But you still should not eat any non rendered meat fat oils if at all possible. Even butter is better than vegetable oil and that shit is hell.
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No.405533
Ain't no drama like tertiary drama because tertiary drama ain't my problem but I still get all the gory details.
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No.405538
>>403899
Given time, little waves will wash away a mountain.
Pierce the heavens with your small incremental improvements anon.
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No.405539
>>405538
You know just when my spirits are low, theres always some anon doing the right thing, just little things but right and good. It gives me hope.
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No.405606
>>405385
Unfortunately not a whole lot has changed at the moment besides things that spilled out into other households, a few other guys are having their own issues now and I already mentioned Dave getting drunk and messaging my own galpal. I'm just fortunate that it doesn't impact my household much as we aren't married and there aren't too many strings she could pull if she wanted to anyways.
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No.405608
>>403716
> it would be a disservice to everyone involved if that olive branch wasn’t at least extended before just straight up “cutting the ballast” so to speak.
I have to agree that reconciliation is the best first option here.
While separation should still be on the table, from the sounds of it both of them are huge messes and a Divorce is just going to cause mutually assured devastation.
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No.405612
Damn, that's a rather hard story.
Personally, I can't deal with drama. I'd call in sick, for most this, most like.
Snek ladies are almost worth remaining for though.
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No.405636
Ok, I've got a story of how a 3-year RPG group got split up, just in the last two weeks, and over the stupidest shit.
>Really want to play an RPG, Newbie to all of this, it's 2015 so 5e is just picking up popularity, so of course that's what I play.
>Grab Randos from all my classes and in the halls of my college for a group.
>Find old buddy from High School. Remember he's a Theater Major and ask him if he'd be into this.
>It's all he's ever wanted to do ever, but never had the chance to do so.
>Also get guy who was making D&D homebrew on his laptop in Geology Class. Really wants to test out his 5e Expert Class.
>Fast forward 3 years. During that time we've had a succession of great RPG games, not just D&D.
>In that time, I found out that I'm a terrible DM, but buddy from High School is amazing at it and loves being Perma-DM. Great at handling Character-Driven stories, loves proactive players and characters, knows exactly how to handle any ruleset he's given to tell a good story.
>Other guy is a D&D Fanatic. Also 36(10 years older than the rest of us) still in college, Gay, and living from college loan to College Loan.
>Want's a college degree in "Worldbuilding," and the Expert Class is his pet project for 5e.
The latter guy sounds cancerous as fuck, but honestly, he was fairly tolerable up until two weeks ago.
>Having Discussion waiting for other players to get to game night so we can start the latest session in our Capeshit Campaign.
>Discussion ineveitably turns towards Marvel Movies. And eventually Black Panther.
>Perma-DM states, quite succinctly, that Black Panther tried too hard to Not be racist and ran right into it by trying too hard.
>In other words, everything everyone on here has said about Virtue Signalling and SJW bullshit and the like: It doesn't work, it does more harm than good, and the writing suffers for it.
>Gay Player blows his shit. Calls Perma-DM a "Pretentioud Little Shit."
>Perma-DM doesn't put up with any of this shit, and leaves.
>I do too because I don't want to be around someone who blows his top like that.
>Find out later that Gay has been low-key demoralizing Perma-DM on a casual basis for almost as long as we've known him, when he's not self-victimizing or blowing his shit at any opinion he disagrees with, and this was finally the straw that broke the camel's back.
And that's the end of my first and longest RPG group of 3 years. Me and Perma-DM are still going to have more campaigns, but it's an end of an era.
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No.405640
>>405636
But where's the snake snatch?
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No.405641
>>405640
Lamia a Shit. Scylla is best Snatch.
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No.405644
>>404200
If the pill didn't simulate early pregnancy, and drastically change the type of men women find attractive, then I'd have to disagree with you
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No.405649
>>405636
<The latter guy sounds cancerous as fuck, but honestly, he was fairly tolerable up until two weeks ago.
>Find out later that Gay has been low-key demoralizing Perma-DM on a casual basis for almost as long as we've known him, when he's not self-victimizing or blowing his shit at any opinion he disagrees with, and this was finally the straw that broke the camel's back.
Sounds like a typical faggot to me, complete with the duplicity hidden behind a veneer of honesty. At least you're free of him.
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No.405670
>>405636
>allowing a literal faggot into your group
I made the same mistake.
>group of a few friends and randos, homo is a friend of a friend
>apparently they're pretty good at 5e while I was just a beginner
>take turns DMing, faggot is a horrible DM but I try not to say anything because DM is always right
>my turn comes
>get stopped every 15 minutes by faggot over rulecuckery. "This check has too big a DC for something so simple, this spell shouldn't be so noticeable, I have a quote from the maker's twitter saying this works differently..."
>he was technically right most of the time, but it was always minor bullshit which he pulled up every time something bad happened to his character, so as to try to make me retcon it
>"I appreciate your suggestion and will make sure not to make this mistake again. But I'm not retconning anything."
>fag proceeds to get buttmad
>politely inform him that I'm the DM and that he's free to run things differently when it's his turn again, but that if I choose not to have retcons over trivial shit every half an hour, then there will simply not be any retcons regardless of what tweet he pulls out of his ass
>fucking explodes with anger, writes massive walls of text about how I'm horribly toxic, tries to get our common friend to cut relations with me (my friend tells him to fuck off instead, lel), and essentially torpedoes the whole group.
Faggots, man. Not even once. The fastest way to deal with them seems to be to just not take their shit – they'll sperg out soon enough and end things themselves.
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No.405686
>>405670
Did a lot of people side with him which caused the group to fail, or did the dram just make it awkward? Honestly, the only drama thing to ever get bad in my group was when one guy hated me dming because I did not put enough combat or references in something, and I also gave up whenever he would read through prewritten campaigns we were going through to get our feet wet.
>>405636
What happened to the other players there. Are they at least still playing
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No.405692
>>405686
I don't really know at this point. Seems like most of them are still going to be with Perma-DM AND Gay's campaign, since neither were involved.
>>405649
Pretty much. He's pretty much a selfish bastard who doesn't respect anyone outside of what they can do for him. He's got this dog. It's old, one-eyed, and in constant joint pain. Can't even stand. All it does is lick people, since it has no teeth. He needs to let it go but he just keeps it alive because he's too selfish to put it down.
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No.405702
>>405636
>fags create drama and ruin things
color me surprised
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No.405761
>>405686
>Did a lot of people side with him which caused the group to fail, or did the dram just make it awkward?
Well, he quit on his own, and we tried continuing without him, but the whole thing spoiled the mood to the point nobody was really able to enjoy himself, so we agreed to dissolve the group next session.
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No.411987
It's been two and a half months, OP. How has Dave fared against the (((courts)))?
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No.412336
>>403515
>>403520
He shouldn't have to just tolerate his wife being hueg, but what kind of cuck of a man expects his wife to protect the family and not him?
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No.412337
>>405641
Shut your dirty whore mouth.
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No.412395
>>412336
The details aren't crystal clear, but it's blindingly obvious Dave wasn't there to save her.
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No.413023
>>411987
They're both in marriage counseling at the moment as part of some attempt to mediate issues and the details aren't being shared with anyone I'm aware of so there isn't much to share unfortunately. I think this is just part of a pre-legal fight because I'm doubtful anything will really come out of it. I'm sorry, the excitement stops here for a while.
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No.413157
>>413023
It's probably for the best that we don't know. Worry more about your own affairs, anon.
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No.418540
What video thumbnail should we use for this thread now?
>>413023
Any news on the marriage counselling?
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No.420829
Invidious embed. Click thumbnail to play.
Neckbeardia have made a video about this thread now.
>>418540
Maybe use this video?
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No.420831
>>420829
This makes me feel dirty...
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No.420833
>>420831
You mean someone making patreon cash off of a nice little thread about some good o'l table drama by doing nothing but feeding it all into a Text to Speech program?
I can't imagine why.
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No.420834
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No.420835
>>420833
I would almost feel less bad if it wasn't clearly capped in the last few weeks. All the images are broken and he's even got the Halfling Marcille in his caps. I don't know how to feel about the fact that he tagged it "#4chan" either. I'm leaning towards, "fuck this guy with a rusty rake"
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No.420838
>>420829
>Maybe use this video?
Maybe fucking don't. The fewer servile attention-grubbing faggots like pic related, the better. I think https://invidio.us/watch?v=tkXDTomO-k8 is a fine substitute.
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No.420841
>>420829
Hey neckbeardia, if you're reading this thread can you do us a solid and never do this again? I know you tagged it as 4chan but the less attention we get the better
>inb4 muh sekrit klub
Yeah, we aren't the most obscure image board out there but fewer newfags shitting up the place is almost never a bad thing
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No.420842
>>420835
On one hand I do agree the fellow should be violated with whatever garden tools are at hand, but on the other hands lets just be glad he didn't accurately tag this shit (which might imply he didn't even retrieve this himself and had it handed to him?) because last thing I want is anyone coming here from one of that clowns videos.
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No.420862
>>403515
>not tapping the cloaca
Homosexuality is chaotic evil, you degenerate.
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No.420887
>>420829
I really hate these types of channels where they take shit other people create, green texts, wiki articles, SCPs, whatever and just narrate it. They are cultural middlemen and serve literally no function. I can read too. In theory they curate things so you don't have to go dumpster diving but thats never true, they have quotas to meet and they'll shove whatever shit they can in there. The idea that one of these talentless faggots in looking into 8chan is disgusting.
>>420841
If they're reading then please never read this board again and fuck off.
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No.420889
<Good news: part two
<Bad news: we have strayed far from God's light
We have to introduce a new character though, a hobby shop employee we'll call Ryan. Ryan is a big part of the issues were having now, as is my female associate who we'll call Becky.
>Be me, someone who is very unhappy if you're hearing this through a text to speech filter right now, the fact that YouTubers escaped the Shoah is my one regret in life.
>Becky makes some mixed drink I've never heard of before, calls it some quirky "geek" name even though I'm pretty sure it's just a trashcan with extra ingredients
>ask her where she learned it
>"Oh I picked it up from Ryan, he bartends on weekends when the shops closed."
>weird but okay, can't be a picky alcoholic
>figure I'll get Dave out of the house and go talk to Ryan about why he's telling people to call trashcans "Chromatic Dragon Fire"
>Dave has never been to the shop across the street from me
>This becomes immediately important as I walk in with Dave in tow and Ryan turns sheet white
>"H-hey buddy what's up?"
>wave him off because I'm on a mission to never hear that stupid drink name ever again and start ribbing him for it
>he loosens up a bit and Dave tries to chime in but it's clear Ryan has something against him
>Check my phone and Ryan texted me, we're still feet apart, asking what the fuck I'm doing and why
>through a series of back and forths I realize that Ryan is uncomfortable with Dave because he, how do we say this diplomatically...gave the Blob his pleasurable pork pounder periodically and passionately
>ask Dave about it once we leave because I don't know if it came out in therapy or not yet and fuck Ryan
>"...no that's news to me. I'll bring it up next time definitely."
>calm, measured, obviously he doesn't like it but it's not a huge deal at this point sine they're on the rocks and they both are just trying to salvage something from my perspective
>seems like a low scale issue at this point anyways so not a HUGE deal
>the huge deal party comes later
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No.420890
>>420889
If I've read that right, now blobs committed adultery on top of all the other shit?
Relationshits man.
This is why I cutoff normalfucks and their stupid self-caused problems with their shitty whore "wives."
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No.420892
I posted on the Neckbeardia video why was this video tagged as 4chan when it was from 8ch.net. Comment doesnt appear.... Did my comment got deleted?!?!?!
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No.420893
>>420892
And I mean I did it yesterday, not now. I say it because I posted the same question again now.
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No.420899
>>420893
How about you just don't try and draw more attention to our little corner of hell?
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No.420901
>>420892
What the fuck is wrong with you?
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No.420902
>>420889
what's that 3d is pigdisgusting, we heard you the firsttime.
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No.420906
>>420892
Shut the fuck up faggot, the more normalfaggots go to halfchan instead, the better.
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No.420918
>>420889
>>420890
>Blob committed adultery
Yes
>don't see Dave for a bit since I'm out of town
>come back and talk to him, seems eager to get something off his chest
>"So that guy from the card shop?"
>"Ryan, yeah."
>"He's been fucking her for a while, apparently shortly after she started playing. She admitted the reason she got so into it was to have an excuse to go to the shop to get things and see him."
>Roblox OOF sound at maximum volume
>"And about the attempted kidnapping? Blob talked to Ryan about it from the hospital before she talked to me about my own kid. Said she needed 'emotional support' or some shit but thats another lie. The guy that they took in for it? Ryan's brother, same last name at least. Seems like he liked what he saw with the girl his brother was fucking and she needed to call him and let him know what was happening. Don't tell Blob I know though, thats a bullet in the chamber for court for sure."
>ask him if he's going through with the divorce immediately or in the near future and if he plans on wheeling out the friendly guillotine for this heinous bitch
>"Definitely putting the papers in at this point, counseling can't cut it here. They've got me on some stuff, doctor's orders, so its hard to be as mad as I should be."
>ask him if he wants me to talk to Ryan about this, get some confirmation they're related (its not an uncommon family name), etc.
>"No I'm good, I'd rather you just not talk to him at all, not that I need to tell you that. There is one other thing though."
>clap him on the shoulder, whatever he needs I'm listening
>"You remember the party you threw a couple months ago?"
>months ago is foggy but this is not the conversation that ends with good news so I try hard to recall
>"I got pretty hammered and its not fair of me to be mad at Blob for what she did when I got mythologically drunk and uh...grabbed Becky's tits."
>excuse me?
>"I don't remember very clearly but I need to be honest with you, the reason I've been talking to her and drunk dialing is because of that. She obviously wasn't into it an-"
>"That would definitely make it assault then."
>"R-right so..."
>"So you assaulted Becky in my own place because board game night came with an open bar?"
>"Yeah but I'm telling y-"
>"Now. You're telling me now. Not then, not the next day, not the next week. Do you think she even remembers that? Didn't talk to me about it so probably not. So you keep drunk texting a girl you had no business touching who doesn't even remember you touching her, trying to make something happen? I thought you were just drunk and dumb, I see those texts dude. She shows me and asks what your deal is, now I have to tell her THIS is the deal? Jesus man."
>"I just wanted to be honest anon."
>"Great, be a good boy and tell Greg I'm working from home this week. I'm out, don't call either of us."
>leave, get in touch with some of the other guys
>try to figure out what I'm supposed to do with this shit
>turns out Dave gets drunk and gets handsy with MANY women he should not
>none of the wives want to really push the issue legally because they feel bad for him but he's been disinvited from pretty much everyone's company
>to include my own at this point
>talk to Becky, explain things to her, ask her if she wants to do anything and she says she needs some time to herself
>couple of days later she admits that she wanted to talk to Blob about all this but she doesn't want her to have the legal room to push for child custody in this situation
>tell her that the kids are another issue, having a sex pest out and about is the current one
>says she doesn't think Dave meant it or something and that this is probably uncommon behavior
>woman logic, don't understand it, guess she pities Dave like everyone else even though I'd rather he just go to jail or something
I switch offices on Monday so I don't have to see Dave anymore. Most of the other guys are moving over too, to the amount that theres room for us to move, and some guys have talked to HR against their partners wishes, myself included cause I needed SOME justification for my move, but they said they can't do much about it besides talk to him since its not related to actual employees and nobody is filing criminally. If there are any further developments from this shit then I hope to not be the person who delivers it.
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No.420919
>>420918
So your friend's life is falling apart and you bail on him because he made mistakes he wanted to own up to? You sound like absolute scum, but that was to expected from a gossipmonger like you.
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No.420920
>>420918
Grabbing some tits while shitfaced is not on the same level as banging other dudes for months while being an insufferable bitch to everyone. Hell of a clusterfuck you've landed yourself in.
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No.420921
>>420919
You can't sexually assault a bunch of guy's partners and wives over the course of several months and then try and get pity sex from them and have that be acceptable. Once? Maybe even twice? But a consistent habit tells me that its not something he wants to change, he just wants to be forgiven so his conscience is lighter.
>>420920
Thats just on my end, I haven't gotten any specifics from anyone else but again this is a thing he just does, regularly, now and he didn't talk to anyone else about it before they found out. The reason he told me is likely because he was worried about the cascade of other guys eventually talking to me about it so owning up to it now, before that happened, seemed like the best move.
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No.420922
>>420919
This.
You basically found the nearest plausible excuse to get yourself out of the drama, leaving a friend to suffer all alone, and furthermore, added further stress to the situation by being a self righteous cunt. Glad to see it only took minor internet fame to get you to confess to being a shallow piece of shit friend who'd rather espionage a friend's job, life, family, and mental health in the greatest time of duress in their life. I'm hoping at this point this is just some random asshole from YT dropping in to adlib the rest of the tale, rather than knowing someone here is this type of person. Smells like real SJW tier shit.
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No.420923
>>420922
Share your own story if you don't like this one.
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No.420924
>>420921
You're assuming shit, the fact that he was the one to tell you about his actions shows some level of understanding he fucked up. You should do the world a favor and leave society so no one will ever make the mistake of trusting you.
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No.420926
>>420918
Holy hell, you are an absolute cuck. You've been on "Dave's" side for all this time only to do a complete 180 degree turn when you learned he touched another woman while drunk. Jesus Christ, I wouldn't want to be close to you on any level. Are you having fun driving a man to suicide?
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No.420932
>>420918
>The kids abductor was probably the brother of the guy cucking
What the fucking fuck. This is "needs bullets in heads of those responsible" tier.
This is the reason I drop people when relationshits start impacting my interactions with them, it's ALWAYS this kind of shit because people show they live lives of hedonistic retards.
This is a shit situation for the kid, neither one of them is a fit parent clearly, blob less of a it for being indirectly responsible for the fucking ABDUCTION of their own kid.
What do you even do to FIX this sort of shit rationally?
It's hard to take sides when they're both shit, but unless I missed something Dave seems like the lesser of two evils here.
Drunk groping /=/ sober sex with a side of LOSING YOUR FUCKING KID.
Ryan sounds like a nigger.
In a saner world it wouldn't reach this point in the first place, moral decay is a shit.
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No.420938
>>420932
>What do you even do to FIX this sort of shit rationally?
Bullets for everyone involved.
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No.420939
>>420921
You are less than scum. I want you to leave this place posthaste and never return. Your white knighting is truly without bound and even it pales in comparison to your faggotry.
Absolutely vile. The thought of you traipsing around this board and communing with other anons fills me with rage.
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No.420942
>>420920
>>420919
>>420922
>>420924
>>420926
>>420932
>>420939
>literal cucks who are fine with drunk men groping their wife's tits.
Just because the fat chick is worthless cunt doesn't mean you have to whiteknight the skinny beta.
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No.420944
>>420942
>groping their wife's tits.
This was not his wife, you illiterate faggot.
>>420889
>Ryan is a big part of the issues were having now, as is my female associate who we'll call Becky.
>female associate who we'll call Becky.
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No.420945
>>420918
>boob touching is worse then child abduction
What the fuck?
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No.420946
>>420944
No fucking shit it wasn't OP's wive you retard, if you had the slightest bit of empathy or forethought you'd realize that I'm talking about the men who's wives were groped.
>this guy I hang out with isn't so bad, sure he rapes kids, but he hasn't raped MY kids
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No.420948
>>420946
You said nowhere in your greentext that Becky is a kid, from all accounts it's a bunch of men failing to keep other dudes from touching their women. Fuck you and your bizarre sense of morals, Ryan is the fucking guy you should be keeping kids away from and if you actually succeed in getting a court cased filed against Dave then the Blob gets the kid and Ryan is going to rape that kid. You stupid fuck.
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No.420952
>>420946
>bit of empathy or forethought
>sure he rapes kids
This is tiresome.
>"Now. You're telling me now. Not then, not the next day, not the next week. Do you think she even remembers that? Didn't talk to me about it so probably not. So you keep drunk texting a girl you had no business touching who doesn't even remember you touching her, trying to make something happen? I thought you were just drunk and dumb, I see those texts dude.
He touched a few women THAT DON'T EVEN REMEMBER HIM DOING IT. And then he messages them, probably wanting some intimacy after what he went through. Sure, his fault, it is an inappropriate behavior, he should've gone to a whore instead. But you have to be genuinely retarded to compare it to child rape. And you have to be a sociopathic maniac to make a 180 degree turn and abandon your friend for THIS. Also... Have a mental exercise for a moment and reverse the genders. The man betrays his wife, and the wife gets shitfaced on parties and grabs random men by the dick. Guess who would get literally crucified in this situation, and who would get a slap on the wrist.
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No.420954
You're a rotten piece of shit, OP. I hope you get fucking shot in the street for being such an indefensible backstabbing beta cuck. Fuck you, faggot. Go die.
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No.420963
>>420918
You are a bigger faggot than /leftypol/'s board owner.
You fucking know that your friend isn't going to get custody and his cheating wife is going to get away with everything thanks to you.
You should seriously consider killing yourself.
>>420942
>>420946
>Drunken guy groping some girls tits = them fucking.
>Drunkenly groping an adult women = child rape.
There is something seriously wrong with white knights. Wouldn't surprise me if you actually raped someone before, just like all the other white knights.
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No.420964
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No.420966
To all of you in here, step back and look at the whole thing for a moment. I have never seen a shitty marriage where one person had it all together and the other was a POS.
While I agree that as shared, OP is not presenting himself as a decent guy, I suspect there is much more to the story. The two of them (the couple that divorcing) are probably both shitbags and OP is starting to see this deeper even if he can't articulate it well. Obviously he isn't totally dialed in because he started blaming the whole thing on a Yuan-Ti NPC. (seriously, imaginary characters do not break up families)
To OP: Abandon this thread and don't air out other people's dirty laundry. You didn't know the whole story and putting it out there like this can only do more damage. You could have talked about your experience without detailing a partial story like you did. You done fucked up but I don't think you need to be executed.
To the rest of you: Fuck off faggots. You didn't have the whole story to make good judgements and you still don't.
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No.420967
>>420942
>"I didn't read all of these posts thoroughly" the post.
>"YOU'RE FINE WITH DRUNK MEN GROPING YOUR WIFES TITS, BECAUSE I STRAWMAN SAID THIS AND NOWHERE DID YOU SAY YOU WOULD BE OKAY WITH THIS SHIT IN YOUR ACTUAL POST"
>HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
I imagine most anons are thinking of what's best for the kid at this point, recommend grandparents or SOMETHING less degenerate than the two fuckwits raising her, if it comes down to either "Dave or Blob" which one of those options is less likely to wind up with a dead or missing kid?
Ideally, neither, realistically with how court bullshit works?
A key difference here is that OP outright said that Dave was pissed that Blob put the daughter in danger.
As for your accusation, nah I'm not okay with it, and it wouldn't happen in the first place because I don't play D&D with degenerate normalcattle.
Are you suggesting we roleplay as if we were part of this "game group" which is just an excuse to drink and fuck around?
In that case I make my character probably kill everyone else involved.
Then I astral plane away to a better roleplay environment in another dimension to avoid consequences from the local Earth Police, after calling you a faggot.
>>420945
>>420938
>>420948
This.
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No.420968
>>420966
>To the rest of you: Fuck off faggots. You didn't have the whole story to make good judgements and you still don't.
<How DARE you pass judgement on the actions of someone who offered them up to you for your reaction and advice?!
Fuck off, you sanctimonious cunt.
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No.420970
Glad to know that OP is still a faggot of the lowest caliber.
>actually cucks her husband
>child endangerment
<BUT HE TOUCHED THE CHEST OF A PURE MAIDEN!!111!
I am disgusted.
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No.420972
>>420966
A man touching another guy's wife is the responsibility of the wife's husband to deal with, at worst he should've put it off until child custody is settled then arrange a meeting with Dave and the husbands. He clearly wants help with his problems. The wives aren't going to do anything because at most they just see him as pathetic.
But that shit doesn't matter, Ryan cannot be trusted to protect the kid from his brother. Blob cannot be trusted with the kid period.
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No.420977
>>420892
>bringing attention to 8ch
>.....
>?!?!?!
Slit your throat.
>>420918
>>420921
Unless I'm missing something, you specified that Dave only behaved this way when he was drunk. If he was forthright enough to confess it to you, then that shows some self-consciousness and recognition of wrongdoing on his part. Effectively, he was asking you for your support, but wanted you to know that he had done some bad things himself, and the reason why he hadn't been more honest about this was due to the way the (((courts))) would perceive it. He trusted you as a brother with whom he could share this information in literally the more difficult time of his life.
And you betrayed him because you're too much of a pussy to handle it. You couldn't hammer a metaphorical board over this mousehole for the 6-18 months it would take him to eviscerate Blob in court and secure his children. As >>420967 describes, the best realistic outcome for this situation is for Dave to protect his children from Blob's sociopathy, then reform his character after the legal battles are over. But that'd mean you'd have to help him, wouldn't it? Goodness, you might even need to lie under (((oath))) to protect children. It's just unthinkable for you.
For Chrissakes, the women whom he groped don't want to say anything about it because they recognize he didn't mean it. The victims themselves don't want these incidents to affect him, but obviously you're much more savvy, right?
>I'd rather he just go to jail or something
<for touching some tits and sending drunk text messages
I honestly missed this the first time around. I can't fucking believe anyone as reprehensible and cowardly as you manages to exist on this website. My blood is honestly boiling thinking that other anons and I share this board with you.
I won't pretend that groping other men's wives at parties is defensible behaviour, but it's a hell of a lot less bad than adultery and exposing one's children to a kidnapper. You are a faggot of the highest order, and frankly you're a sinner to boot. If you can pluck your sniveling head from between your cheeks and realize the magnitude of what you've done, then you should go back to Dave and promise to support him after you've begged for his forgiveness.
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No.420982
>>420977
You also missed the part where OP goes behind Dave's back and sabotages his other friendships, and trying to get everyone to leave him at work. Yup, asshole even managed to sabotage Dave's job right from under his trusting nose. OP needs to be put down, not defended by any of the other anons here. That'll teach Dave to fix your fucking PC. That'll teach Dave for confiding in you.
>Well, why don't you tell us a story about your life then?
>if you don't like my story
Nah, that's not remotely close to why we're mad at you, faggot. As others have said, this is dirty laundry, and shit that can make it into court. You had no rights to continue this tale seeing how tumultuous things are, and you certainly had no rights to kick a man while he's down for things he did while intoxicated that he showed clear guilt about and is coming to you for advice on how to amend the situation. You should have told him "That's fucked up, but we'll just keep you sober and out of trouble till we can get you help, Dave. I'm a fucking friend, and helping you out is naturally what fucking friends do".
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No.420987
I genuinely hope the guy won't fucking off himself after all this shitshow. It wouldn't be surprising, also considering modern (((courts))) and their usual rulings. I guess he only cares about the kids now, and it's possible they'll be taken away from him for some bullshit reason.
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No.420990
>>420987
I hope OP remembers that it's his own fault when the daughter gets fucked up from neglect. I really hope this is just a prank because now the first storytime needs to be reread. I don't think OP was ever on his side.
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No.420997
It was me guys. I'm the one who linked him here.
There's no way to undo my mistake, but at least we got fresh updates from OP so maybe it was worth it in the end.
I submit myself to your /just/ice.
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No.420999
>>420997
Addendum: OP can roast in hell for abandoning Dave and his children, if that was indeed OP.
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No.421011
>>420997
>I'm the one who linked him here.
Him being Neckbeardia? You should hang yourself, but before you do I'd like to know what motivates a man to suck so much dick.
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No.421012
>>420997
Just fucking leave man. Go back to reddit or your discord or whatever and farm more popularity. We'll both be happier that way.
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No.421013
>>420997
Kill yourself and him.
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No.421014
Are we genuinely mad about a fake and gay story on an image board?
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No.421015
>>421014
I'm mad about some asshole linking this thread to a youtube faggot.
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No.421016
>>420997
>>420893
>>420829
>>420892
I fucking hope you die painfully.
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No.421020
>>420887
>these types of channels where they take shit other people create, green texts, wiki articles, SCPs, whatever and just narrate it. They are cultural middlemen and serve literally no function. I can read too.
no, you mean "you can read". the audience for these videos probably can't read. i don't mean they are illiterate, but human beings raised by youtube and ipads seem to actually find reading too difficult for it to be a relaxing, enjoyable thing to do, so this whole 'narrate to the retarded' thing is only going to get bigger
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No.421022
>>421014
This is one of the most degenerate fucking stories on /tg/ in years, you're goddamn right I'm mad.
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No.421031
>>420892
Do us all a favor and never come back here, faggot.
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No.421051
>>421020
>human beings raised by youtube and ipads seem to actually find reading too difficult for it to be a relaxing, enjoyable thing to do
They're not human beings. Maybe tribesmen were right to be afraid of cameras sucking out their souls.
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No.421060
>>421020
It seems strange that they would be attracted to be greentexts and the like then since it is an entirely written medium, even if you convert it to audio what it is remains.
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No.421063
>>421060
Greentext stories are essentially another step in the degradation of the written word. Everything is getting dumbed down, and this is no exception. Pulp novels are a thing for a long time; the comic books were another step down the ladder, with the text being reduced almost to minimum, that is dialogues, and most of the narrative was replaced by pictures. Greentexting is nowhere near in popularity, but is gaining it, same as the imageboards are still surging in popularity. What greentexting does is basically removing detailed paragraphs of text and replacing them with concise lines of text, making the action require less attention span to follow, making the narration more digestible, together with adding popular memes and internet culture references that people enjoy.
Pic related shows a turn in completely opposite direction, a piece of high-brow literature that's basically a meme.
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No.421071
Holy shit, people, calm down. Breathe. Go up to the first post. Read. Reflect.
>monthly Pathfinder game with coworkers and wives, even some other family
Can anyone really say he's surprised that OP turned out to be a massive faggot? There were telltale signs all the way. Female DM, a landwhale, and playing with her couple in a 12 people game of D&D SJW Edition where everyone is excited about having a sex scene with a lamia cause it'll help this dude's self esteem. Nicknaming the landwhale "Blob" was a humorous touch, but everything else pointed to extreme, concealed faggotry.
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No.421072
>>421063
>comic books were another step down the ladder
You're an idiot.
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No.421077
>>421071
I am already calm now since OP disappeared. I still think he should be made to dogeza with nails for his eyes, length of nails just long enough that he dies before completing a single bow ensuring he dies from dishonor.
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No.421094
>>420918
>>420921
Holy shit you're a scumbag. Fucking leave and never come back. Absolute villainy.
>>420997
You should kill yourself too.
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No.421101
>>421072
>You're an idiot.
Oh, did I hit too close to home...? I'm sorry, but I'm not sorry for insulting your favorite picture books, you soyboy faggot. I already know your attention span is too short to read more than a dialogue and stay interested, but try to be more creative next time.
>>421088
>Also, OP's story is a good reason why we need a good nuclear war.
It would hurt the environment, think of all the poor trees and animals. A good genocide is where it's at.
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No.421142
>>421101
>your attention span is too short to read more than a dialogue
<ESL tries to screech about literature "degenerating"
Comic books are not the same thing as literature. You are indeed an idiot for trying to compare two things as disparate as sculpture and painting.
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No.421143
>>420948
I'm not OP you fag, I just recognize that Dave is likely a beta cuck, thus receives no sympathy from me. The only real victim in all of this is their child.
>>420952
>>420963
I'm not saying groping women is akin to child rape, you disingenuous retards. I'm saying that associating with shit people just because they haven't done anything to you personally doesn't mean they aren't still shit people. Just because Dave didn't grope YOUR wife's tits doesn't make it okay. I was simply using hyperbole as is common on imageboards to prove a fucking point.
I'm not defending blob for being a whore, or OP for being shit himself. As far as I'm concerned, everyone involved deserves eachother because they deserve to suffer.
>>420967
Unfortunately, the kid is probably fucked up already. Though if they can see their parents' bullshit for what it is, there is a chance that they'll pull through and just be cynical the rest of their life. Essentially a future fa/tg/uy.
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No.421145
greetingz frum da neckbeardia gang!!111!!!
x3 we are a notorious group of fuwwies, so please come and Rp with us ;3
ewe
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No.421148
>>421142
At least I'm learning other languages, you fucking mutt. Only a mutt would point out slight grammatical errors and make judgmental remarks. And if comic books aren't literature - what are they? "Art"? Anything passes for art these days, no matter how shit it is, and autists like to call themselves artists because it sounds high-brow.
Besides, if you'd have half a brain, you'd notice the mocking tone of my post. The pic was not enough? :^)
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No.421155
>>421148
>mutts
>correcting English grammar
Boy it must be hard being a complete retard.
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No.421158
>>421155
He didn't CORRECT my grammar, you fucking blind faggot. He just called me out on English being my second language.
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No.421160
>>421158
>>421148
>Only a mutt would point out slight grammatical errors and make judgmental remarks
Could you just slit your wrists already so we can stop having to deal with your breed of retardation?
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No.421163
>>421155
>mutts
>knowing English grammar
>knowing English
FTFY
Also, comic books and the jewnited states both need to burn.
Would be hilarious to burn a soyboy alive on top of a pile of his precious capeshit.
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No.421177
>>420918
Please do the world a favor and kill the blob, Ryan, and then your self you fucking turncoat proto-SJW.
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No.421181
>>420918
You are a piece of shit. You are a foul creature and I consider you worse than Dave adulterous whore of a wife. At least she has an excuse that she is a unstable woman. while you do terrible things despite supposedly being of clearer mind. For you own sake I hope you somehow never learn of the bad shit about to happen to this Dave guy. If he kills himself I hope you live with that shit for the rest of your life, faggot.
>>420987
Dave has a very high chance of suicide if the statistics of what becomes of men after going through the family courts is believed. Goddamn shame, that.
>>420990
This and I also hope OP knows that the children of single moms are molested at far higher rates than single fathers. Let alone the higher changes of drug abuse, and poverty in later life. Good Job, OP!
>>421071
The signs were there.
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No.421186
>>420987
Chances are Dave is going to kill himself, and it's because this spineless beta proto-SJW cocksucker known as "OP" was too much of a beta bitch to stick with his friend through thick and thin.
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No.421423
>>421160
You sound like a mutt who got triggered.
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No.422341
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No.422627
It seems the thread has come to an end. I hope the fuck boy gets back in contact. I want him to talk more about respekting whamen.
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