/tf2/ - Team Fortress 2

Burninating Faggot. Because I can actually help my team out. (if they're not complete retards who won't push when I say it's clear up ahead)

Engis are cool if you're cool to them. Am I the only one who uses the Homewrecker in my main equip?

What I hate:

"lol w+m1". Actually that was WASD+mouse movement+m2+m1+swapping out to my secondary+you being too much of a retard to stay out of flamer range, then crying your eyes out when you got incidentally killed while I was strafing the heavy. Generally, my response is to go demo and shit all over them with stickies until they burst into treats and leave. Petty? Maybe. Just? Yes.

"hurr puff n sting". Since you can't even handle incidental degreaser flames, nor do you know how to shoot at me with your bullets while not right next to me and in flame range, you went crying back to your base and got in the way while I was firing a perfect flare shot at your sniper. You absolute faggot. Even if I was gunning for you, complaining about a flare kill puts you on the same level of faggot as pyros who airblast enemies up against walls and noobshot them with the reserve shooter.

Phlog users. You aren't pyros. No airblast + 10% penalty isn't a fair compensation for increased range and complete cone noclip, let alone that pants-on-head-retarded taunt buff. Crits AND dr? Who sucked off every Valve employee to get that one through?

Heal me, asshole. Some medics are good and will heal pyros. Most won't, let alone even consider an uber, despite our movement speed being almost the most perfect match in the game. If I'm at the very top of the scoreboard and your heavy is blowing chunks/has died despite my best efforts, then you might consider throwing me the uber. That's right, I have to fail to protect the fat man before I get any love. I can't always be at the top of the scoreboard, this isn't Killz Fortress 2 and we're not in an Arena match or some shit. If we're on offensive cart, you need to give me or a soldier/demo an uber once in a blue moon so we can wreck the engi's shit up ahead. If we're on defensive cart, the cart is a few feet from the hole, and I'm blocking it while keeping five or six enemies on fire at once, don't sit across the room jerking off the heavy who's timidly spraying the area while you're charged. Hop down, get your ass over here, and uber me.

Snipers. Quit turning every game into a boring 1-on-1 competition. I'm going to flame you until you quit, and if I can't get to you I'm going to flare you to death until you quit, and if you retreat to heal I'm going to switch to sniper, get out my fancy tricked-out obnoxious sniper rifle, and farm your entire team including you until you quit or they kick you. Headshots, bodyshots, I don't give a fuck, whatever's killing everyone fastest. If you're going to use the OP class, I'm going to slap you around with it.

Medics healing medics healing medics with le epick ubersaw at the end. omg nice mene so fresh!!! I'm just going to airblast you all off the cliff/out of the rest of the team's way. Good job you all died of fall damage while ubered.

Black Box users. I can reflect at least one of those, there goes your health boost. Better hope your team bails you out when you have to reload or I'm going to kill you anyways and just eat another healthkit from your side of the map.

Suicidal Heavies' LOOK WHERE YOU'RE GOING FAGGOT, YOUR MEDIC DIED TRYING TO KEEP YOU SAFE AND I'M DYING HERE TOO, FUCKING LOOK AROUND

>>1116

Another pyro can always be useful to the team. Unless there's no engi or demo.

>>1135

I do love it when you bring out your smuggery spade.

Jump for me again, soldier. Pull a trick, see what happens.

>>2826

Why do pyro mains always come across as bitter assholes?

Anyway, what play style are you saying you use and find most effective? Or do you use all pyro playstyles to be a combat/support hybrid?

>>2831

Years of getting shat on and called OP while fighting splash and acting as backup backup medic. No, actually pyro is just a high-risk and confrontational class so there's always someone farming you or raging at you, even with burn damage as primary and all of those posthumous kills it can still be eggshell thin between wiping half a team and dying over and over for 2 assists. Pyro players are generally unbearable cheesing faggots, perpetually angry people who can't be satisfied by mere rocket spam, they want to taste their enemies' flesh crackling, or smug as fuck team players who just really love talking smack and raising salt. Especially when they kill the sniper or cap the point while the more suited team members are off carefully nurturing their killstreak. So whether they take themselves and the game super seriously or not, they will always be either super friendly or talking shit or both at the same time to different people. If they aren't arguing with someone in chat or telling you what's up ahead on voice, they're either a noob pyro or the killfeed should be lighting up with a nice streak in a few secs.

Fun Fact: Pyros are so expendable that they are the only class out there to have (last I checked) no item to upgrade their health.

I could never take the concept of competitive TF2 seriously. Random crits are one of the funniest parts of the game even though they always seem to be in the form of Heavies directing fire at me, so I play pubs. Whenever I go to Skial or ElitePowered or any of those other common fast clan pubservers, it's either one team has some group of friends with their clan tag in their name all on one team working one particular map with an engie setup or something, or the kind of noobs who will quite literally sometimes allow me to stand on top of the cart and taunt the entire way to the next point.

As you can probably tell, I prefer cart. This is because it's faster. Sentry nests get broken up as a matter of course, and if not I can go demo and have some backup while I break them.

Like I said, pro TF2 doesn't make sense to me. I doubt I'm fast enough and I don't "train", I just play. I don't read strategy guides or learn terms or memorize stats, I just play. My general strategy on offense is "fuck your demos and soldiers, then fuck your pyros, then fuck your snipers, then someone else fuck your sentry nest while I grind and guard the cart with whoever will help me". Then immediately after capping a point (but not even a second before) I run into the nearest tunnel and fuck around with whatever anyone may be setting up there or further ahead. I will happily die to take out a teleporter, a dispenser, or an engie even if everything else stays up, in case an explosives class from my team happens along, or just to slow down build progress. If I'm above a group of enemies and I can light them all on fire, I'll jump down and do it even if I immediately die and they have two medics to heal the damage, just to throw them off and slow them down. The bottom line in cartpush is time management (which is what I like about it), and one player's respawn is a pretty low price to pay for wasting ubers or delaying a big push by either offense or defense for 10 secs.

>>2832

On defense, my mission is usually simple: be as much of a prick as possible to BLU. Like I said before, I use the degreaser, but I only use the flare gun as a backup if something faster than me is getting away or I'm out of range when they see me. Mostly I use it so I won't get shot down while switching weapons, but also because I have to burn people a little longer before they die, which gives them slightly more time to react and surprise me with a good move. I barely ever use melee, but I generally keep the Homewrecker equipped. If I'm around when a spy starts some fuckery, I give everything a quick puff, put my back to a wall if possible, and get the sapper off the sentry first, then try for the rest and/or killing any exposed/suspected spy. If the spies are really getting an engi or if my team's not halting the advance despite me driving back enemies*, farming medics, breaking the line…I'll fall back to an engi getting heat and reflect projectiles, routinely spy-check, hunt down or at least drive back sticky spamming demos, etc. Soldiers and demos usually don't expect a pyro to leave the sentry roost once they've started airblasting for some reason, it makes for a good surprise.

Also I block points a lot with little time on the clock because most players seem to either not know you can do that or just be worried about their KtD or hitting the top of the scoreboard or whatever. What's the point of a quick respawn function if you're going to play "realistically" like you're afraid to die?

*Yes, most players will run away under a quarter health, all the way back to spawn or maybe meeting a medic, and waste ALL THAT TIME, for their utterly pointless KtD ratio rather than just turning on the hurt and taking me down with them to save the rest of their team. No one gets the point of this game, or at least cart.

>>2833

Oh yeah and when you're telling me I'm "hacking" because I'm making jerky movements and always catching the spy, it's actually because I'm playing on a touchpad on mute at a McDonalds or something, because pyros just don't give a fuck and if I have less awareness of my surroundings, I will only spycheck that much more and make extra stops for ammo.