>Probably because you didn't match his ideals about "most sane and beautiful" and love.
We live in times of profound loneliness and most people have short attention spans and judge based on their own emotions and projections. I believe that even if Tenda's reasons to not want to date me irl are valid (to some extend they are, I am not the most beautiful as for the most sane, sanity and creativity rarely go hand by hand), the incels won't care. Especially the white worshipping Asians he supposedly is an activist for, will feel jealous about the e-relationship he had with me and resent him for not meeting me. I have had incels from all races telling me about Tenda "what a loser, I would have met you". So R.I.P. to his "I WAS DENIED BECAUSE OF MY RACE" copes. I know that he likes to fantasize he is ER 2.0, but has end up a Cringelord Volcel. Again, most people lack the knowledge and patience to dig below the surface and won't sympathize.
>especially with the cheating on your existing husband and how bad/dysfunctional Tenda thinks that would look.
I am not one of the chinkerellas he is accustomed and I choose being honest over saving face. My husband felt entitled to lie about everything and trap me. If I knew who he is, I would never have married him. He knew and he agree to having an open marriage months before I met Tenda. I am not deceiving anyone, never did. If Tenda doesn't like how that looks, then he is a hypocrite, bc he knew how things were ever since met him and he chose to be in the e-relationship regardless.
It's time he stops lying to himself about what happened and who he is.
>From his point of view the two of you would be another kooky and weird AMWF couple (like you and Kim).
Kim didnt make me weird, since no one can change a person's core personality. I was always autistic and weird. But I believed that I would be happier with Tenda and that's why I wanted to meet him. In any case, he is -again- lying to himself if he thinks he isn't weird. The truth is one google search away and I am sure irl ppl think he is weird too, they just don't tell him.
Imo, if u are gonna be the freak anyway, u may as well be a happy freak.
>Also I think he was probably scared of performing sexually .
I totally agree on that one. I think he is on that stage where he believes that I would expect from him to reenact AMWF pornos or sth (I wouldn't).
>he was probably scared of performing sexually and you being open with the world about alternative lifestyles (ie him being a cuckold or sissy etc).
I think he has it all mixed up in his head. I don't force anyone to be a cuckold, a sissy, a transsexual or whatever. I am simply open minded enough that when the person I date wants to explore something, I am in general supportive of it. BDSM are flexible and the individuals who participate agree and discuss their rules/boundaries.
But hey, we should give others the freedom of choice, personally I did all I could for him and he never reached out to ask me to get back together or meet, so if he is content masturbating on that dirty, dusty apartment and spamming 4chan alone and lonely till he dies, so am I.