/strek/ - Star Trek ★

>Klingons are smelly barbarians

First time on /strek/ I see? It's common knowledge that Klingons are one of the most intelligent races in Star Trek, having an Intelligence Agency that is second to none. Klingons can crack codes that not even at their height the Obsidian Order were able to crack and are always aware of current events. The whole barbarian warrior culture thing is a complete facade, a ruse that everyone has bought into. Chances are a Klingon will know exactly everything about you and you won't even know it. That is how they are able to create the most delicious and addictive coffee in the quadrant. They were able to isolate a unified craving across all species and cater to every single one of them.

>>22392

You speak rightly, sir, except for one thing: Wasn't it established that Raktajino is a Starbucks-tier Federation knockoff of a real Klingon beverage, ra'taj?

>>22393

As far as I can remember, Ra'taj (lit, translates as 'commanders knife') was basically a pretty hardcore caffeine/other stimulants injection developed by the Klingon military to let them stay up all night planning and still be ready for battle in the morning. Given the natural resilience of Klingons compared to humans, Star Fleet couldn't use the initial recipe without giving every officer who drank it heart palpitations. This lead to a watered down, weakened, and disgustingly named 'raktajino' adding the -ino suffix stolen from Cappuccino by designers of shitty hipster coffees for centuries. The fucking plebs in Star Fleet probably added fucking vanilla syrup to it or something, they're like the Burgers are today - if someone else has something interesting, fun, or even just 'kinda nice' they have to steal it, subvert it, change it beyond recognition, and spread it everywhere.

See:

>>9109

Personally, here's how I'd do it.

>black coffee

>espresso

>ground up caffeine pill

>nut liqueur

>irish cream

>whiskey or bourbon

TL;DR: It's a Klingon-strength Irish Coffee.

>>22426

Sounds like a great way to spend the next day bent over with a brutal headache if you don't drink this concoction at the same time on a daily basis.

>>22400

Klingons don't smell like lilac, that was just Bashir and O'Brien fucking with Worf. It's been pretty well established that they smell foul on account of not bathing.

>>22428

>Klingons smell bad

But the only point of reference for that is Klingons coming off of Warships. Now I don't know if you've ever been on a Warship before but the sailors usually smell foul mainly cause they don't have a chance to bathe often. I bet if humans were stuck on a Warship for months on end rather than a Luxury Liner they would begin to smell bad as well.

I've always found that a silly point that has always triggered me about the show that was only addressed in the Siege of AR-558 episode.

>>22457

>Worf the Klingaboo

>Tell him that Klingons shit in the sink and he'd believe it

>Meanwhile on Qo'nos several Klingons are getting drunk together in a hottub singing songs about when they defiled a Romulan Maid together while said Romulan Maid sucks them off under the water

I'd take anything Worf says about Klingons with a pinch of salt.

>>22458

You are clearly the Klingaboo. Romulans do not get defiled, they certainly don't racemix and even if they were to it wouldn't be with disgusting "warrior" races. There was that one time with Spock and that Vulcan captain (or commander or whatever) but Vulcans and Romulans are very nearly identical races.

>>22391 (OP)

If you binge watch DS9 like I did, Raktajino is very annoyning. Every episode basically starts out as

>Raktajino

>Raktajino

>Raktajino

A bad attempt at some continuity.

>>22391 (OP)

My guess is that it's not in any way pleasant, it's just really strong and blatant and keeps you awake. "Stronger than Earth coffee" coffee for people who want to look serious about coffee drinking.

Fuckin space foodies.

>>22499

DS9 is my favorite Star Trek

but it has my least favorite captain beverage

>>22499

TBH what do you want them to drink? Not everybody start their day with a bottle of kanar.

>>22499

This is how coffee drinkers sound: annoying.

I never understood the point of making their beverage of choice of everyone on DS9 a Klingon coffee. It would have been FAR more compelling and interesting, and also a fuckton more appropriate, if it were Cardassian coffee. One could make an entire episode out of the main cast suddenly collectively deciding to kick the habit out of bullshit virtue signaling reasons, and failing horribly and hilariously.

>>22534

Yeeah don't talk to me until I've had my cup this morning LOL!

>>22486

Are you Romulan Waifu anon?

>>22534

Chad Tea Men always beat the Virgin Coffee Drinkers.

>>22550

>>22551

Tea is for girls and children.

>>22565

>>22565

Shut up Jadzia.

>>22566

Why Cardassians make great tea.

>>22603

There's coffee in that nebula!

Do Kirk or Burnham have official drinks?

I know Archer liked Iced Tea.

>>22499

Somebody should do a drinking game with DS9, with the words "Raktajino", "Holosuite", "Prophets", "Latinum", "Cardassian", "Bajorian", "Hey, Jake", "reports on criminal activity", "Pylon" etc.

DS9 had some many reoccurring themes that it sometimes bored me to death. At some point you develop Stockholm Syndrome and identify with it.

>>22618

Like doing a drinking game at a cubicle job, with the words "coffee", "bathroom", "managers", "dollar", "client", "janitor", "Hey, Boss", "reports on quarterly earnings", "window" etc.

Things tend to be repetitive when you're in the same fucking place all the time.

>>22603

God I hate the "women in power" syndrome. Kind of a shame, as much of Voyager was entertaining.

>>22618

>Somebody should do a drinking game with DS9, with the words "Raktajino", "Holosuite", "Prophets", "Latinum", "Cardassian", "Bajorian", "Hey, Jake", "reports on criminal activity", "Pylon" etc.

Why do you hate your liver Anon? What did it ever do to deserve that level of abuse?

>>22616

>Kirk: Bourbon, neat.

>Burnham: The Department of Temporal Investigations in conjunction with Star Fleet Intelligence has concluded that no such person has ever existed, does not currently exist, and could not ever come into existence at any point in any possible future. Any Star Fleet personnel who believe they encounter, have encountered or remember hearing of this non-existent person is advised to report to the relevant counsellor for advice, relief from duty, and referral to the appropriate psychological care.

>>22634

I don't know what you're complaining about. She didn't act like a "woman", at least not by modern SJW feminist standards. I don't even think they mentioned sexism once, and it never was a motivation for her. Even any sort of "mothering" she did over the crew can easily be explained that it's what all Captains did.

It was completely the opposite of how they made half of Sisko's motivations being about his race; with Voyager, the whole "female Captain" was a complete non-issue.

>>22635

Did Kirk EVER frequently drink alcohol? I can't recall. Realizing that it's done purely as an attempt to cement his memetic "badass" nature, deliberately impairing himself just isn't in his personality.

>>22660

That's not what I mean. The way women in power are often written is that they're made to "stand their ground" to prove how great leaders they are, even when the reasonable thing would be to back off. Janeway isn't the worst example but she suffers from this too. Just contrast Janeway who was perfectly willing to have everybody on Voyager killed for "muh ideals" instead of giving up a fluidic space alien, and Archer who struggled with the dilemma whether to rob innocent aliens or endanger his mission and, by proxy, Earth. Idealism with deus ex machina to save the day is completely hollow.

>>22660

>Did Kirk EVER frequently drink alcohol?

I can see him becoming a washed up old drunk after his retirement, when there's nothing for him to focus on anymore, but no. I just couldn't see him drinking tea, coffee (human or klingon), fruit juice, or milk.

>>22635

>Kirk: Bourbon, neat.

Kirk drank a lot of stuff but it was usually some imaginary space alien booze.

In Star Trek VI he drank the famously blue Romulan ale so I don't doubt that he drank Bourbon, but I'd need an episode ref to verify

>>22660

I think she drank green juice or a protein shake in that 'DISCO' episode

>>22675

It's not a captain's drink, but it is the McCoy family's secret ingredient for baked beans, I gotta try that one of these days roll that beautiful bean footage

>>22666

I used to think Klingon coffee was just like Civet coffee, the Klingons had to eat it first for 'processing'.

Also as we all know, Pike likes a doctor made martini.

>>22688

I'll give you 10 for a pound of Grilka processed coffee beans.

>>22688

>>22697

>Not knowing that an honourable Klingon woman only prepares … special coffee for her Par'Mach'kai

Even that P'takh Worf knows that such coffee is reserved only for Klingons who are very much in love. You are faggots, WITH NO HONOUR!

>>22699

That argument works for Grilka, the titty monsters not so much.

>>22700

Grilka was an honourable lady of outstanding breeding and pedigree, even Worf could see that. The Duras Sisters, well OK, waging a private war against the empire is one thing, but selling their … special coffee like that is on a completely different level.

>>22701

I just plain don't believe you. The Duras sisters were absolutely honorless and completely mercenary. They would have no problem selling their beanturds.

>>22689

>>22675

Come to think of it, do you think the whole reason they developed synthehol was cause Bones and Scotty drank the Alpha Quadrant dry with Damar finishing off what remained?

>>22662

You're assigning traits that MANY Starfleet Captains have to her just because she's a woman. Just because Archer did something different doesn't mean anyone else would have. How many times did Picard for anyone else fuck over his crew or endanger lives, because of trying to uphold lofty Federation ideals? It has nothing to do with their gender.

You're just looking for a reason to be offended.

>>22718

When has Picard chosen certain destruction just to "save" a hostile alien that wouldn't hesitate to kill him? He loved his ideals, but he wasn't big on pointlessly wasting lives in order to achieve fuck all.

>>22718

Also, I only really hate it when it's presented as example of good leadership. The power dynamics between men is way different than between women (~1/2 of men have offspring vs 9/10 of women, that alone will have great impact) which is why this phenomenon exists, and it's not necessarily a bad thing when media reflect that, bad thing is when a supposedly good leader does this. When you get someone like Janeway who should be experienced leader making bad decisions, just so that the writers can say

>"See? Female leader can stand up for ideals too. Take that, Picard!"

that's just stupid.

>>22720

>"See? Female leader can stand up for ideals too. Take that, Picard!"

This literally never happened. You're just making shit up to complain about non-existent straw-feminists. You'll never accept a female Captain because you're a complete retard. End of story.

>>22757

Go back to tumblr, facebook, reddit, wherever you're from. The man was clearly saying that she matched some patterns commonly found among female characters. You can argue that although it's true, it's irrelevant, but instead you just say "hurf durf you're dumb lol: LINE ENDS HERE!"

>>22757

b8 or not, now that I think of it, there really aren't many female captains in trek, are there? Atlantis' Elizabeth whatshername and Sam were both all right, although that's neither Star Trek, nor were they starship captains well technically you can say they were, since Atlantis was capable of interstellar travel

>>22426

Don't crush a no doz bro- just replicate some anhydrous caffeine buy it for cheap as shit on somewhere like purebulk

>>22457

He seemed pretty eager to hop in the tub with fish troi

>>22545

Best episode of ds9 never written- except the one where jadzia poops out the worm accidentally and becomes space ChristChan

>>22545

>One could make an entire episode out of the main cast suddenly collectively deciding to kick the (Cardie coffee) habit out of bullshit virtue signaling reasons, and failing horribly and hilariously.

Oh, what could have been. Still, is that the sort of thing that would have happened/been relevant at the time?

>>22809

This man speaks the truth. You can get pure caffiene for like 25 bucks a pound. A pound is equivalent to about 2240 nodoz pills.

>>22778

>/pol/tard throws a temper tantrum

Every time.

>>22816

Virtue signaling has happened since time immemorial; it just didn't have a buzzword meme term attached it it. As soon as the war with the Dominion started, I could easily see it suddenly being a big deal with everyone on the station trying to "purge Cardassian influences", or whatever in the name of Federation solidarity.

In WWI and II hamburgers were sometimes memetically renamed to "liberty steaks", to avoid any sort of positive branding over a food named after a German city. This was much later referenced for the 2003 invasion of Iraq, where France refused to participate and so french fries were briefly touted as "freedom fries". Based on this, it's entirely possible they would have kept drinking the Cardassian coffee, but renamed it to something absurd.

>>22816

in universe at the time or relevant at the time? we have been shunning cultures that we are at war with for ages. changing the name of things that remind us of people we currently hate. i would say yes to both.

>>22391 (OP)

I wonder how much soy is in the Federation version?

>>22932

What do you think makes up 100% of the solids in replicated food?

>>22934

Pure energy, you retard.

>>22957

No, they're not converting energy, remember that they convert 'Replicator Rations' into different objects. There was a thread not too long ago where a few Anons worked out that creating a small glass of water from energy would require at least as much energy as is released from an average sized nuke. I'm suggesting that the replicator rations used to create the food are a mix of soy and tofu.

>>22965

Don't they state, in TNG and Voyager iirc, that they convert pure energy into matter?

>>22970

Yes. d73859 is retarded.

So if a user-level replicator has a wattage most conveniently measured in multiples of Hiroshima, what, apart from the writers' ineptitude, is stopping someone from turning it into a WMD? Hack it, set it to overload, and convert all of that energy into light, heat, and sound instead of matter.

>>22400

Will that recipe still work without the cinnamon? Can I substitute more nutmeg instead?

I'm extremely allergic to the stuff and dying from drinking it will just reinforce the Federation stereotype against Klingon food

>>22974

>Can I substitute more nutmeg instead?

Only if you say it out loud in your best imitation of Worf trying to be more klingon than klingons.

>>22975

I can do it, or die trying.

>>22974

Both Ceylon (real cinnamon) and cassia (usually just sold as cinnamon)?

What about those Indian cinnamony-bay leaves?

Try cardamom or use more nutmeg and allspice, yes.

>t. chef's school graduate

>>22977

Both but with a slightly lesser but still serious reaction from Cassia.

I have no idea about those leaves but given how serious it is I'm not keen on finding out.

I will try the cardamom suggestion, much appreciated.

>>22970

>>22971

Then explain the phrase 'replicator rations'. If you're at the point where generating enough energy to produce solid matter Ex Nihilo is trivial for you then you're well beyond worrying about power shortages.

>>22979

>replicator rations

The rationing of replicator use due to power shortages, you fucking moron.

>>22980

For reference the production of 100ml of water (not including the glass) would take approximately 9000000000 MJ, assuming 100% efficiency. Which is the equivalent of 2150000 tons of TNT. When you get to the point where you can generate that much energy as a trivial endeavour whenever a member of the crew wants a small glass of water then you're a long way past caring about fuel requirements.

>>22983

Yes.

>>22983

Arthur C. Clarke was usually pretty autistic about scale.

>>22986

But that's Arthur C. muthafucking Clarke. IIRC differing series in trek may have varying degrees of technical actual science consultation and even those tend to be weighed against story or dramatic priorities. TNG might be the series that had the most scientician consulting, even they had some fairly goofy episodes. Tho compared to nutrek shit, they might as well be diamond hard scifi.

>>22965

I'm no chemist, but I would wager that converting elements of one food into elements of another at the atomic level would take almost as much power as creating it from AIR.

>>22992

If it's purely energy based then it's not transmuting gas into solid objects, but somehow 'condensing' energy into sold particles. Shifting protons, neutrons, and electrons around to turn one molecule into another would take a retarded amount of energy, but not nearly as retarded as the amount of energy needed to create it from nothing.

>>22992

No, actually.

Air and sea salt, maybe… but you're doing some hardcore nuclear reactions, rather than just extreme molecular rearrangement, if you want to convert carbon, oxygen, and nitrogen into a little iron, phosphorous, and magnesium.

>>22991

Anyone else see a benis in the thumbnail in the first pic?

>>23006

You mean the tree branch?

>>22989

Since you've that posted that webm, I am trying to find any scientific fallacies on Stargate, and I literally can't find any.

What the fuck.

>>23276

Part of it probably is, there's generally less technobabble. They can't commit fallacies about something when they leave all the details out. There still are things about SG that I don't particularly love, like power-creep, or the ability of people to figure out complicated, completely alien technology in half an hour. Trek is also guilty of this, but IMO to a much lesser degree. I still like SG though.

>>22991

Do you feel in charge?

>>23338

Is he referring to Shran or Porthos there?

>>23339

Probably the one captioned "he is in charge now."

>>22689

TOS was the best.

>>23341

I don't know, Shran Bane would be a fun character.

>>23393

It actually wasn't. There's a lot of shit in it.