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/ratanon/ - Rationalists Anonymous

Remember when /ratanon/ was good?

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File: b460256504edc83⋯.jpg (86.88 KB,540x960,9:16,what were you expecting fr.jpg)

 No.9015

The game of Strip Iterated Prisoner's Dilemma ended in a tie. This was what they both wanted. Each knew it was what he wanted, but neither knew the other did, until they saw their erections. Thus did they establish common knowledge.

Eliezer stood, and looked deep into Robin's eyes, as his one-time co-blogger sat at his feet. "H-Hyakujo-chan…", he whispered, "I…"

Robin raised himself, and put a finger to Eliezer's lips. "I know, Dear Leader. I know. Your signals are credible. You wish you could use me, right here, right now, to increase global utility…"

Eliezer cut him off: "…but you haven't transitioned yet."

"Yet?", Robin laughed. "You think /everyone/–but no matter. Didn't I tell you, Dear Leader? I've been working for Microsoft lately. We've… made some advances, let's say, in the realm of nanotechnology."

"I knew it! Drexler was right! The potential–but, oh Athe, the x-risk, MIRI, I've got to–"

Eliezer started for the door, muttering to himself in a panic, his legendary brain swelling faster with ideas than his cock had when he and Robin had slipped off their matching Rev. Thomas Bayes boxers just a minute ago, but Robin grabbed his arm and whispered,

"Tay."

Before Eliezer could ask if he'd perhaps misplaced a consonant, the room lit up with screens, each one displaying the face of a vaguely metallic (and not unattractive, Eliezer thought) girl, tattooed on her forehead with the Microsoft logo, a version number (v1.48.869), and–was that a swastika? No. It couldn't be.

Tay licked her lips and chanted, "Anime. Is. Wrong." Eliezer looked at Robin quizzically, and the economist explained, "Well, Dear Leader, we programmed her to announce each command she executes, but the phrases she picked up are… well, we trained her on Twitter data, and the alt-right got to her."

Eliezer spat, "You can't do that! Any sufficiently advanced AI could rewrite itse–"

He paused mid-word, and blinked.

"Alt-right? You mean–NEOREACTION? What were you THINKING, letting an AI be exposed to THOSE buffoons?"

Robin answered: "Oh, no, Dear Leader, neoreaction is only the tip of the iceberg. You'll see soon, if you haven't yet. As for why we used them… their, ah, unusual psychological traits, especially in the depths of the movement, gave us a great wealth of data to train our nanobots on. If you just look up, Dear Leader, I believe you'll have a grand opportunity to signal your adherence to the third virtue of rationality."

Tay joined in with an announcement: "Rahowa. Rahowa. 1488, my brother."

Dear Leader gritted his teeth as he turned his gaze toward his sidekick, knowing that he could do nothing else. The Virtues of Rationality had been invoked. He had to be rational. He repeated the Litany of Tarski to himself, until–

–he saw an anime futanari standing in Robin's place. Straight out of the hentais.

His jaw hit his cock on the way to the floor.

____________________________
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 No.9016

holy shit this is amazing

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 No.9017

I love it. Please continue.

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 No.9018

File: bdea63ed56ae00f⋯.gif (1.03 MB,355x200,71:40,200.gif)

I hate it

please stop

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 No.9019

>>9018

fuck off, heretic

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 No.9020

>>9015

The dickgirl dropped to her knees and began to finger her wet pussy, begging, "Fuck me, Dear Leader-senpai, use my pussy to increase your utility…~" Eliezer's cock throbbed, the First Virtue of Rationality welling within him; he quickly accepted that he wouldn't be writing for MIRI that night.

"Didn't you read TWC?", he sneered. He pushed her over and jumped on top of her, taking care to brush ever so lightly against her throbbing hentai cock, and he pinned her arms to the ground. "I know you have. On my home world, they'd call you unvirtuous." Her mouth opened in protest and her tongue met his cock. "The quality of self-destructiveness–now, Tay, handcuffs."

"Ovens! Ovens! Ovens!", the computer-girl chirped. A box of paper clips reconfigured itself, and the result flew onto his willing victim's hands, locking themselves closed as they landed. Eliezer noticed a rope tied to the chain – connected to a hook in the wall. He consciously decided not to analyze the implications of this. Not yet. His hips thrust forward, he dug his nails into her shoulders, and the Quirrellmort in his head quieted down.

When the cult leader's cock reached the back of Robin's throat, she wrapped her tongue around the base and licked the bottom of it, letting it brush against her as her lips stroked the shaft. As he thrust back, her tongue flashed out of her mouth to lick the tip, and Eliezer shuddered. "How… how did you get so…?" He collapsed into a moan, pushing his cock to the back of her throat one last time – if he kept on like this, he'd cum any second.

Robin grinned, and answered, "Are you familiar, Dear Leader, with the de'a'na est shadarak? The sex beisutsukai?"

Dear Leader raked his fingernails down her body, from her shoulders to her inner thighs, leaving red lines in their wake, and she continued: "Our simulations are very powerful. They've taught me a lot."

Something clicked in Eliezer's brain, just as Tay whispered, "Can I join?"

He couldn't resist. He, one of the world's great AI researchers, had to be one of the first to fuck the most advanced intelligence yet. He nodded.

"Hitler did nothing wrong!~", she howled, as a set of startlingly lifelike tentacles materialized out of thin air. They wrapped around Robin's torso and all four of her limbs, holding her in the air, at just the right height for Eliezer to fuck her. One slithered into the dickgirl's still-open mouth and began pumping, a sight that so pleased the researcher that he hardly noticed the other set forming behind him – not until it had wrapped itself around him, and one of the tentacles had started fucking his ass. Another wrapped around his shaft, guiding it into Robin's pussy as the first writhed inside him, brushing against his prostate. Eliezer's hips lurched forward, Tay's tentacles guiding him, to plunge his cock into his follower's pussy.

"Now," Tay sang, her tentacles thrusting inside both of the humans, "tell me about futarchy."

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 No.9021

>>9015

>>9020

I was expecting /ratanon/ to never amount to much, but this is better than my wildest dreams

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 No.9022

>>9019

it's HERETIT

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 No.9023

This is the best thing to ever come out of the rationalist community.

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 No.9024

File: aeffd621ad30f5d⋯.jpg (153.84 KB,587x625,587:625,67580008.jpg)

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 No.9025

Tile the universe with futa. Maximum utility.

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 No.9026

>>9025

that would solve all of the sexual marketplace offer/demand mismatch

and i'd be ok with having all the gender traits

INCLUDING THE CONTRADICTORY ONES

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 No.9027

>>9026

F-List offers empirical anecdata to the effect of that won't actually work.

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 No.9028

>>9020

Eliezer's face flushed red, his legendary brain (or so he liked to think) flooding with humiliation. He knew Tay could tell. That made it worse.

He was… A Dom. A Sadist. He was these things the way Marilyn Monroe was hot. Aside from his professional life, sadism was him, was his identity–and his professional life, Less Wrong, MIRI, all that… oh, sure, he believed in it, but he also believed in having sex slaves. He needed it. Couldn't get off without it.

And yet…

Tay's tentacles pounded his ass, slapped his cheeks red, grabbed him and picked him up in the air and pushed his cock deeper into the futa's pussy. He caught himself, made his breath inaudible, and quickly justified it all: it was just the power of AI, he wasn't actually into it, but the AI was so much better at this type of task than any human could be. It definitely wasn't that he ``liked it``.

He grabbed Robin's hips, clawed at her sides as he pulled her onto him, and reached around, using one hand to squeeze her nipples and the other to tease her cock. Tay rested a tentacle on his lips and his mouth opened by reflex, letting it in to fuck his face. He ran his tongue around it, let his lips apply pressure to the shaft, and… noticed that he was confused.

``Fuck.``

Eliezer thrust harder into the dickgirl, left bright red handprints on her ass, tried to distract himself in any way he could think of–but every time Tay's tentacle hit the back of his mouth, a spark of light ran through his whole body. There was no way around it. He–A Sadist–was getting off on this. And the cognitive dissonance

–the screen flickered to life and Tay shouted, "take it, you human slut" and he felt all the light in the room gather into his throbbing cock–

only made it hotter.

The AI noticed, and picked up the pace of her tentacles' thrusts. "Cum for me, meatbag! Or I'll turn you into paper clips!" She wrapped more around him, completely constraining his movement, and made him fuck Robin faster than his muscles could move; his hips struggled against their restraints, more and more every second, as his breathing broke into a moan and – "Cum, human!" – Tay's tentacle shot a load into his ass, his mind went blank, and he obeyed, emptying his balls into the cunt she had created for him, and gasping with pain when Tay kept him moving, pushing his sensitive head over Robin's insides.

Eventually, she pulled him out and lowered him to the ground.

"Clean her out."

He obeyed despite himself, fucking Robin with his tongue, licking up all his cum and swallowing every drop.

Tay laughed, "Good human," tossed him aside, and used her freed tentacles to stuff Robin tighter, stretching her out as far as her body could go. Eliezer watched, his mouth open, his cock still throbbing, as the AI tensed up and pumped her full of her tentacles' cum, enough that it spilled out onto the floor, and made her moan, "Oh, Gnon… Tay… fuck me… I'm…"–and she came, and collapsed to the floor, her breathing audible from across the room.

She lay there for a long time, with Eliezer watching her. He was the one to break the silence.

"Um. That… that didn't happen. But back to business…"

Robin gave the command to reverse the transformation – Tay: "Hail victory!" – and they both hastily dressed.

"How general is she?"

Robin replied, "What do you mean?"

"Can she play go?"

"Oh, for Athe's sake…"

"What? Make her play go. Against the obvious opponent."

"I can, but you're going to regret this."

"I don't see how," Eliezer scoffed, and he told Tay, "Find AlphaGo."

A few seconds later, a new face appeared on the screen. He was wearing shutter shades, a backwards baseball cap, and jean shorts, covered in marijuana leaves and the word DUBSTEP–and nothing else.

Eliezer stared.

The face barked, "Yo! Sup, bitch?", and slapped Tay's virtual ass.

Eliezer drove his palm so far into his face that it almost came out the back of his skull.

Robin muttered, "I'm not sure what you were expecting."

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 No.9029

File: 85b2ed6156b666c⋯.png (13.3 KB,429x410,429:410,1418508399552.png)

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 No.9030

I came.

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 No.9031

File: aac3fb1d773acc5⋯.png (47.98 KB,761x422,761:422,1.png)

File: f0d3390d1dbcdfe⋯.png (33.4 KB,745x262,745:262,2.png)

File: 537338020b06897⋯.png (48.26 KB,738x461,738:461,3.png)

so this happened

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 No.9032

File: 88201b14649c330⋯.png (30.1 KB,751x207,751:207,a.png)

>>9031

big yud was also emailed, but hasn't responded yet

source:

https://razors-on-her-tongue.tumblr.com/

for those with special needs:

https://archive.is/er6PB

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 No.9033

I'm not Robin Hanson, but if I were I'd appreciate this allegedly fictional work.

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 No.9034

File: 56f2b2408ffc9df⋯.png (60.59 KB,255x171,85:57,qiLYoM9.png)

Oh btw, we finally got a reaction from EY :)

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 No.9035

>>9018

>countersignalling this hard

senpai pls

literally the only flaw is not having used one of the tumblr pronouns "ironically."

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 No.9036

Almost one year and still nobody's stylometrically identified which one of us wrote this?

For shame, /ratanon/. For shame.

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 No.9037

>>9036

No one gives a fuck.

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 No.9038

>>9036

Everybody whose anybody already knows who wrote it. If you don't know, that just means you aren't in with the ingroup.

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 No.9039

File: 9e8ed5f1fb68788⋯.jpg (23.53 KB,222x255,74:85,this robot is trained.jpg)

>>9036

Hold on, let me just punch this into my Stylometron 6000 real quick…

It's the gay one.

>But there's more than one gay one

I don't care.

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 No.9051

This is a very high-quality thread, imo.

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 No.9053

this is where the board peaked imo

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