/random/ - random

FOR EXAMPLE :

your mother willstopputting money on your commissary account on your 5th week in jail

to make phone calls from jail, you must first have somebody on the outside put money on your account, and each OVERPRICED PHONE CALL is deducted from your account....

Darcey is going to explain that she cannot afford to continue putting money on your books, and she will send youan envelope containing three postage stamps

THE TRUTH ?

Darcey will realize your phone callsserve no purpose

She will quickly realize thatyou're making calls for no reason, simply because you're BORED

You've never had anything worthwhile to tell your mother, never even pitching in a penny to help her pay the bills, to help lighten the load, while she Forks over money so you can continue avoiding adult responsibility...

honestly?... SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU

so she's NOT going to continue paying$6.95 per useless 15 minute call

you're insane, so you don't realize that YOU HAVE NOTHING OF VALUE TO SAY

And she's going to cut you off, during the 5th week of your 12 month incarceration in jail

RE: POTATO CHIPS, CANDY & RAMEN NOODLES

Darcey is going to get fed up with your MOOCHING FROM JAIL

She's going to write you a letter, in which she diplomatically explains that you are 33 years old, and you put yourself into this situation

Darcey I going toFIX UP THE BASEMENTand get rid of ANY reminders of your RUDE EXISTENCE

then she's going to modify the basement into a viable living area, a small "downstairs apartment", ÷and RENT THE BASEMENT OUT TO PAYING TENANTS

Darcey needs EVERY PENNY.....

of courseyou have no idea how much it costs her to wipe your lazy ass, but she is going to write you a letter, explaining how she can no longer afford to pay your way through life.

it will be easier for her to write a letter, because you would keep interrupting her

you won't be able to interrupt her in a written letter...

she's going to explan that YOU ARE AN ADULT

YOU PUT YOURSELF IN JAIL

YOUBARE NOT HER RESPONSIBILITY

I'm guessing her letter will go somewhere like THIS :

"Dear Ashley,

I know you are bored in there, and you want to make calls, but unfortunately I can no longer afford to keep paying for these calls, nor can I afford to keep putting money on your books for potato chips and candy.

you are 33 years old. It's not like you are 9 years old anymore.. you became an adult 15 years ago, but you have managed to continue manipulating me into letting you take advantage of me.

You had an entire year to prepare for your upcoming jail sentence, and you could have easily found a part-time job and saved up the money so you could afford potato chips and candy right now.

You put yourself into this situation, put yourself in jail by making stupid decisions. I'm not the reason you're in jail, and I'm not the one who's going to pay for your phone calls and potato chips anymore.

you are simply going to have to learn how to get by without potato chips and candy.

Enclosed, you will find three postage stamps. From now on, if you have anything to ask me, you can write it in a letter and mail it to me.

if you write me begging for more money on your books, I'm afraid you'll be wasting your time.

I cannot, and WILL NOT be putting any more money on your books...

maybe, if I can afford it, I might put $10 on your account for your birthday next year, but that's still 8 months away.

until then, do not try calling the house collect again, or I will be forced to change my phone number.

Ashley, I am disgusted with you, and I regret ever giving birth to you. My life would have been so much easier if you were never born.

This is a good time for you to start making plans for what you intend to do when you finally get out of jail next year.

I am moving paying tenants into the basement downstairs, to help offset the costs of living, so you won't be allowed to come back to my house when you get out of jail next September.

You need to start making a plan for yourself, and I would suggest you begin at the Salvation Army women's shelter.

please STOP CONTACTING ME, or I will have no choice but to take out a restraining order against you.