/random/ - random

I'm sure you bought your father a nice gift

but then again, you've ALWAYS been "the world's best daughter"

that's why he always loved you so much

SPEAKING OF YOUTRYINGTO DOX ME:

obviously, you can't cook... You're not capable of cleanliness...

so.... your mom does all the cooking

and you take it down into your spiderhole in the basement

I'll bet you NEVER CLEAN UP

I'm certain you have a pile of dishes and rotting food and a bunch of nasty trash around you

just look at your greasy filthy ass

there's NO WAY somebody who never bathes

could possibly be "fastidious" in other ways

LESS THAN ZERO PERCENT CHANCE

slob

cooking is an ART

it requires TALENT

which disqualifies you instantly

you never even bathe

I bet you haven't washed your hands in months

I would NEVER eat something cooked by a filthy smelly slob

gross

I'm a FANTASTIC cook, by the way....

not bragging, but it's one of my MANY MANY TALENTS

tonight i made my famous Robusto Spaghetti Al' Assassina

(assassin's feed)

I realize you don't know what that is

it was AMAZING !!

everybody loved it!

my kids flipped out

because it's so different

I caramelize homemade marinara

allow it to thicken

and it's kinda like "frying" pasta

you cook the pasta in the sauce, instead if boiling it in water... it fuses with the tomatoes and caramelized peppers, onions and garlic

it's thick, and somewhat "dry"

compared to white trash spaghetti

I also roasted 3 bulbs of garlic

and of course you're not familiar

if you drop an entire bulb of garlic into an oven and cook it at 425° for 10 minutes, you can literally squeeze the garlic out of the skin like toothpaste.... roasting it mellows out the pungent attributes of the garlic...

it gives it a super soft mellow buttery flavor

and you simply smear the roasted garlic paste across buttered Italian bread, and KABOOM!!

a nice simple Romaine wedge with real Modena Balsamic Vinegar (actually made in Modena, with the grape must included)

and TADA !!!...... A HUGE HIT !!

I JUST FINISHED DOING ALL THE DISHES

something I doubt you've ever done

and now the kids are gone

and Wendy and I are pouring

a couple strong cocktails

and we're gonna watch an old

1950s Campy Schmaltzy Sci-Fi movie

WHAT DID YOU COOK FOR YOUR FATHER?

regardless of what you think :

regardless of what you say.....

regardless of what you do.....

the judge is going to HELP YOU

by turning your life inside out

Y O U ' L L S E E

no matter WHAT :

on September 13th, everything changes for you

you have 2 choices :

begin preparing now

or look like an insane IDIOT in court

LOL @ YOU REFUSING AN ATTORNEY

you're going to represent yourself?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU IDIOT

but on September 13th, DARCEY IS FREE OF YOU