No.83413
For the past 3 years all ive been doing in my bedroom is sleeping and rotting. I barely go outside anymore and when i do its for checkups with the doctor. I sit and dwell in my own piss because of how lazy i am and when i dont feel like pissing on my bed i do it on my floor which my mother has to clean up later. Or father whoever has time. As of lately ive been getting horrible disordered thoughts i starve myself for weeks at a time i dont wanna leave my room to get food either.,,,kuyjjjh....I have no appetite for anything all i can stomach is water if i do eat something i end up purging. Is this trauma why do i live my life like this hahahahsha i was like never raped nor molested but im so fucking depressed all i think about is suicide i cant even sleep proprly anymore im so exhausted im scared to sleep even though nothings gonna happen to me. I do this because im a selfish greedy cunt i cut myself for no reason it doesnt even make sense. Im so lonely and depraved my ego is frail i deserve nothing but suffering. Im meeting up with a friend of 5 years in june we met online and im gonna do drugs with him and probably sell. Its the only thing i have to look forward to as of recently. I feel like everything went downhill after the police and my restrictons to the internet. what am i trying to prove
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No.83426
in other words:
you've already answered your own question
and YES.... everything you mentioned are BEHAVIORS
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No.83427
BEHAVIORS :
It becomes your self-fulfilling prophecy of Doom and failure
DEPRESSION IS ABEHAVIOR
self absorbed behavior
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No.83429
Wish i could be an online drug dealer, water fasting is healthy
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No.83436
>>83413
Me too.
(except the sitting in my own piss part)
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No.83546
>>83413
If you're living outside of the United States try to get a bed with a toilet hole, you can opinionally try make a chamber pot to sit on. Here's help numbers: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines
Try using psilocybin mushrooms: they're proven effective in treating depression [1], anxiety [2], treating people with criminal behavior [3], treating people with suicidal ideation [4], and more. From what I've read some Western countries provide prescription psilocybin, unfortunately as far as I know psilocybin isn't legal in the US unless you're a Native American. https://psychonautwiki.org/wiki/Psilocybin_mushrooms and https://erowid.org/plants/mushrooms/mushrooms.shtml
Can you find liquid or powder meal replacements? If you're losing weight eat more non-saturated and saturated fats and high sugar food.
[1] https://ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9507144/
[2] https://healthline.com/health/anxiety/mushrooms-for-anxiety
[3] https://youtu.be/r74qCVCTfRI?t=711 and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timothy_Leary#Last_two_decades
[4] https://ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4721603
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