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File: 953984a326a3714⋯.jpg (43.4 KB, 800x533, 800:533, wew.jpg)

 No.8229

Hi, I do the craziest shit I can think of to try and get fired so I can die but They keep promoting me. I'm so broken and sad. Anyway, whats the craziest thing you've done to make the pain better?

____________________________
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 No.8230

File: 84a383127d78f21⋯.jpg (239.04 KB, 1000x667, 1000:667, so_big_you_can_fuck_a_camp….jpg)

I fucked this guys wife in his corvette and accidentally rear ended some guy and then forgot to pay for the damages. What a goof? I married the bitch though. She is still alive though, which sucks. thought I was on a roll there. Pic related but the corvette was brown. but look at all that room jack! I had that bitch every which away, until I hat that guy. anyway, now you go.

I'm on an amtrack so I might lose signal.

actually tonight I'm, in a big stupid concrete building so i have to go to the roof to post. have to spend all night with this dumb bitch I hate. she wants me to die so she can get my job but I'm not gonna die. She'll be so pissed in eight years. hahaha. brb.

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 No.8283

Also, I gambled with some mob guys and lost. I didn't believe them when they said they would kill my wife and children but joke was on me. hahahaha, good times.

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 No.8352

also I let a Epstien bro talk at my convention. whos gonna notice.

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 No.8398

File: ff1005425fc9e9d⋯.jpg (495.1 KB, 1080x2340, 6:13, Screenshot_20200819_173125.jpg)

Try to wake up a liberal friend very set on climbing to the upper echelons.

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 No.8444

File: 51ac1ac4059b3b2⋯.jpg (85.98 KB, 634x666, 317:333, im_guilty_dog.jpg)

I falsified emails to make phoney warrants for FISA. Ooopps!? Call me Clinesmith

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 No.8456

File: 3eac3c8bf17e9db⋯.mp4 (364.78 KB, 300x166, 150:83, laff_long.mp4)

>>8444 (TRIPS Check'd!)

I just landed a shit that was so massive, it was the size and shape of Florida... I practically had to stand up to deliver it... seriously, Norse Sagas will be written about it.... I knew it was gonna be huge when I had to strip naked beforehand... fists clenched, body sweating and shaking... it seriously smelt like rotten prawns left laying out in the mid-summer sun for a week... it had glowing eyes of corn as well (I dunno when I last ATE corn - FUCK!) It stood up and was so long it nearly toppled out of the bowl, which I thought was gonna crack... I gagged - violently. My neighbours called out, worried I might need an ambulance. I think I tore something inside - Jesus. I had to stomp that fucker down with MULTIPLE flushes. Plus I ran out of paper. Afterwards, I just sat shivering in the shower, sobbing. No more Scottish family restaurant food for me for a while, I think... just thought you should know about my day...

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 No.8509

that sounds waffle

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 No.8639

File: ca168c28e057574⋯.jpeg (40.99 KB, 300x250, 6:5, zoop.jpeg)

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 No.8928

I made a video on merchanttube about loving israel and got banned for hate speech.

true story

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 No.8943

>>8928

Joel Stein? Is that you? I used to read your stuff in TV guide. hope you are well.

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 No.9021

I went to this guy's island and now my ass hurts

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 No.9083

I opened a store in a soros controlled city

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 No.9094

my ancestors fled berlin germany to berlin ohio after kristallnacht. I didn't think it could happen again. i was so wrong

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 No.9154

>>8229

"Killemala wont stop shitting everywhere"

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