/random/ - random★

consider it a blessing

>>82246 (OP)

LOL @ YOU NEVER SEEING A VAGINA IN REAL LIFE

>>82246 (OP)

EVERY.... GODDAMN... WEEKEND...

YOU... SIT... ALONE.....

YOURE A BITCH... A FUCKBOI

>>82246 (OP)

no one else in your area was using it

>>82257

>>82258

Guilty as charged. Now do something about it if you don't like it.

>>82268

it seems like YOU would do something about it

because I know you don't like it

me?.... I'd be more than happy to help you find the mindset inside you that WILL fix the problem

>>82268

however, you already know the answers

it's already inside you

I literally just woke up. it's 5:28 AM and I don't want to wake my wife up, so I'm being super quiet here before I go make coffee

>>82268

NUMBER ONE:

THEBESTTHING THATS HAPPENED TO YOU IN A LONG TIME:

BEING BANNED FROM 4CHAN

ITS A START

my name is Neptune and I'm going to be in here later today...

you'll know it's me

simply by the way I type

>>82277

the faces

>trapped on a ship

>"you get entertainment"

>the entertainment

>Their faces when

NUMBER TWO :

THIS CAN EASILY BE YOUR LAST WEEKEND ALONE

E A S I L Y

YOU :the only person who can correct the mistakes you've been making

(nobody else is going to fix it for you)

if you were physically dependent on opioid, you couldn't get clean by switching to methadone

you can't get off opiates by switching to a different opiate

you can't dry off by getting out of your pool, and jumping into your neighbor's pool

I realize you migrated here after being removed from feceschan

if you weighed 400 pounds, you'd have no choice but to MODIFY YOUR BEHAVIOR if you wanted to slim down to 200 pounds

YES... it's going to require BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION

but it pays off BIGTIME

the rewards are MUCH GREATER than the required sacrifices

if you told me you didn't want a woman who loves you, a best friend with a vagina, who believes in you, who stands up for you, who lays down with you, who wakes up next to you, who looks you in the eyes and tells you how much she loves you....

you'd be lying

you'd be disingenuous

here's the good news:

it has NOTHING to do with how much money you have

you don't have to be a handsome male model

you don't have to be a bodybuilder

it has nothing to do with the size of your dick

it's aboutYOU

it's quite literally as easy as simple BEHAVIOR modification

you don't have to change YOU

you simply have to change your BEHAVIOR

EXAMPLE :

You know how you would behave at a family get together, like over the holidays...

Now imagine an unexpected business dinner, suggested by a potential employer, who would like to discuss a possible career for you over a fancy dinner in an elegant restaurant...

You would modify your behavior, because it's not the same as Thanksgiving dinner with your family

Now imagine being pulled over for DUI, and as you waited to be bailed out of jail, you had to eat lunch and dinner in the jail cell block with a bunch of other inmates...

Your behavior would be very different than the fancy business dinner, or the family Thanksgiving get together

Humans modify their behavior continually around the clock, depending on whichever situation they find themselves in

Survival depends on adapting to your environment

If an extremely wealthy potential employer offered to buy you an expensive fancy dinner and discuss a possible future career,you wouldn't refuse to modify your behavior

you would automatically modify it

so why would you refuse to modify your behavior to secure a beautiful genius girlfriend?

No matter how you slice a Snickers bar, it always comes up peanuts

No matter how you slice finding a girlfriend, you're simply going to have to modify your behavior one way or another

HINT :

IMAGEBOARD "CULTURE" = EVENTUALLY BECOMING A HOMOSEXUAL

IMAGEBOARD CULTURE = A CREEPY BEHAVIOR THAT WOMENDO NOT LIKE

if you want a girlfriend, you must first UNimageboard yourself

if you want to be happy

you MUST firstUNimageboard

if you weighed 400 pounds

and you eliminated OREO COOKIES from your behavior

it's a start

not much of one, but it's a start

but for expeditious efficacy, why not eliminate even more?

well it's time you realize that VIDEOGAMES WERE YOYR GATEWAY TO ISOLATION, LONELINESS & DEPRESSION

I realize you have brainwashed yourself into REFUSING TO ACCEPT THE OBVIOUS TRUTH

you will resist

and THATS the exact behavior you must modify first

resisting = continuing the problem

look, dude.....

even stupid fucking niggers and worthless hillbilly retards get girlfriends

so there's no reason why you can't

BUT YOUR BEHAVIOR IS NOT WHAT GIRLS LOOK FOR

thank your lucky stars you got banned from SHITCHAN

now it's time to VOLUNTARILY BAN YOURSELF FROM VIDEOGAMES AND IMAGEBOARDS

UNcomputer

trust me dorkmeister

if you don't succeed, you can ALWAYS go back to the "imageboard parody of yourself" in the future

if you were a door to door vacuum salesman, and you smeared your face with dogshit every morning before knocking on doors...

you'd be a fool to disregard the advice of a master salesman, who told you to UNdogshit your face

AGAIN :

UNimageboard yourself

UNvideogame yourself

UNcomputer

I CAN ANDWILLTEACH YOU EGG ZACK LEE HOW TO GET A BEAUTIFUL SMART WOMAN

but it won't work until you make a conscious decision to UNCOMPUTER

just try it for 2 weeks...

that's nit much of a sacrifice

>>82281

oh yeah, like I said, some people in the navy will like it.

Jeez neptune, don't scare the guy away or anything

sorry refugee, Neptune doesn't know what an Image board is, he thinks its a chat room or something.

>>82290

>>82289

>>82288

>>82287

>>82286

>>82285

>>82284

>>82283

>>82282

>>82291

>>82292

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>>82299

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>>82302

>>82303

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>>82310

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>>82312

okay.....

here goes

>>82246 (OP)

I can help bring you back down to earth

it's time you learned the truth about IMAGEBOARD CULTURE

>>82246 (OP)

there's actuallyNO SUCH THING AS "IMAGEBOARD CULTURE"

becauseTHERES NO SUCH THING AS AN "IMAGEBOARD"

this is nothing more than aCHATROOM

of course, I'm fully aware that you don't like the term CHATROOM

because part of your generations problem is the continual need to convince yourself that you are "breaking new ground"

that you're REWRITING ALL THE RULES

........You're NOT

you can call a tangerine a PLATYPUS all you'd like, but it's nothing more than a tangerine

my favorite question to ask in here:

Q : what's the difference between a CHATROOM and an IMAGEBOARD?

get ready... this will sting a little bit:

A : THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE

THIS IS A CHATROOM

I have never seen a chatroom that didn't allow you to upload images

I have never seen a chatroom that required you to identify yourself with your real name

You can call this forum a PLATYPUS all you'd like.....

but THIS IS NOTHING MORE THAN A CHATROOM

RE: IMAGEBOARD CULTURE

I'm not sure if I'd refer to PARROTING TRENDY CATCHPHRASES a "culture"

if you're suggesting that MIMICKING PREDICTABLE PREPACKAGED BEHAVIOR and REPEATING THE SAME TREND-FOLLOWING CATCHPHRASES is a legitimate "culture", maybe you need to get out more

"CHAD"

"STACY"

"ROASTIE"

"NORMIE"

"CHAD"

"STACY"

"ROASTIE"

"NORMIE"

"CHAD"

"STACY"

"ROASTIE"

"NORMIE"

"CHAD"

"STACY"

"ROASTIE"

"NORMIE"

"CHAD"

"STACY"

"ROASTIE"

"NORMIE"

"CHAD"

"STACY"

"ROASTIE"

"NORMIE"

"CHAD"

"STACY"

"ROASTIE"

"NORMIE"

sorry, but that's NOT a "culture"

saying "dubs" and "trips" is NOT a culture

ifANYTHING, the only thing even vaguely close to a culture in here isA VOLUNTARY JOURNEY INTO EVENTUAL HOMOSEXUALITY

because :

WOMEN DO NOT WANT A VIDEOGAME IMAGEBOARD AWKWARD MISFIT

no woman is searching door to door, desperately seeking an adult male who hibernates in his mother's spare bedroom playing video games, watching anime, and masturbating

so OF COURSE, if you parrot this behavior, YOU WILL EVENTUALLY BECOME SO DESPERATE FOR HUMAN TOUCH,SO UNFAMILIAR WITH FINESSING WOMEN, AND ONLY FAMILIAR WITH THE VURTUAL COMPANY OF OTHER SEXUALLY FAILED MEN, that sooner or later, you'll end up with a dick in your mouth

The Goldwater Girls was a great show