No.104167
Blog post
Part of me wants to take care of myself to look good, wearing hot clothes, and live to be abused and slapped by big black dicks and their men and humiliated to the point of crazed suicide in internet porn videos for everyone who ever knew me to see, but another part of me just doesn't care and wants to sit here and play Runescape, staying skinnyfat and waiting to die.
How do I find the energy to go on and a reason to live? How do I move past the nihilism life provides?
____________________________
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No.104168
I'll smear shit all over you and watch you jerk yourself off while I kick back and smoke American Spirits.
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No.104174
>>104167
Anon, I love you. Not in a gay way. I'm drunk.
I think you just did both. I think you just did everything you really desired to do. In an insane manner but you did what you intended.
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No.104175
>>104168
I liked American Spirits until I learned how to grow my own tobacco. Process it wrong? You'll end up much like that meme you posted, not kidding.
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No.104187
>>104174
Nah. The thing was that when I was younger I knew nothing about evil. I learned everything from the internet over time, especially when I discovered imageboards. For example, I learned there was some guy in this town who ran a glory hole out of a local bar by looking at Craigslist ads, and it was creepy and weird to me, the same feeling I got when I watched the movie Blue Velvet. It used to terrify me. Now it doesn't terrify me, but it makes me suffer and experience psychosomatic pain and illness. I don't know how to cope knowing other people are doing strange things, while I really can't find anything to live for. Having kids seems pointless. Getting married seems pointless. Getting a job and working seems pointless because then I'm around sinful people again which will depress me. Everything seems like a waste of time.
And this guy posting shit-covered men is disgusting. But I know people do that, and it's gross.
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No.104188
Like, why shouldn't I just go all out and be weird and insane and get physically abused by others and then get murdered for others' entertainment value so the inky blackness immediately takes over? What else is there?
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No.104189
I'm crazy because I like trannies and part of me would like to have been one all the way like Hunter Schafer, but then another part of me is like, "why even do anything whatsoever?" I just don't find enjoyment from doing anything at all except blogposting about how pointless it is
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No.104190
The face of pointlessness
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No.104192
Exercise (cardio) to stay skinny and no muscle tear chasing, driving car around for no reason other than to not think about anything other than driving, staying looking relatively youthful and pretty through clothing choice and makeup to look like some androgynous god/goddess. This is as close as I can get to a reason to live. I guess
Obviously being abused and murdered just ends in your death, but also sexual things kind of gross me out, but I like being seen naked - unusual psychology I guess
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No.104193
>>104192
>but also sexual things kind of gross me out, but I like being seen naked - unusual psychology I guess
Who believes our report?
To whom is the arm of Adonai revealed?
For before him he grew up like a young plant,
like a root out of dry ground.
He was not well-formed or especially handsome;
we saw him, but his appearance did not attract us.
After this ordeal, he will see satisfaction.
“By his knowing [pain and sacrifice],
my righteous servant makes many righteous;
it is for their sins that he suffers.
12 Therefore I will assign him a share with the great,
he will divide the spoil with the mighty,
for having exposed himself to death
and being counted among the sinners,
while actually bearing the sin of many
and interceding for the offenders.”
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No.104194
And if I go bald, it's wig time
Also, big manly men with tanned skin and tattoos are generally nasty anyway. That's Esau. They're not attractive to me except for someone to make submit to my will
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No.104196
I have to be more beautiful than the black people though. Jesus wasn't black. Doesn't mean I hate black people. I'd cuddle with them and kiss them
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RpsgwS1xOmc&ab_channel=Keh
I'm gonna try to stop being a fat retard, but the urge to drink is coming on again. This all also feels like vanity
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No.104197
I'm serious when I say this though: imageboard posters are the scum of humanity. The absolute worst. They would be nice places to post things if every other poster wasn't a, "kys" or "fuck niggers", or "Total Kike Death" while holding their gun in their hand
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No.104200
I would walk and lose weight, but I'm pretty much bored of listening to music though. Everything's just pretty boring now
I don't think I need to drink because that's not going to solve anything.
I smell Mexican food and I get hungry, but then what? Like, everything is gay now. Movies, shows, vidya, music. It's just all gay (and I mean boring)
When you've experienced everything it's like, well that's it, I'm bored now
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No.104211
lol @ you not having any money
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No.104212
>>104200
lol @ tried everything
everything except GETTING A JOB and HAVING ANOTHER HUMAN BEING THAT REALIZES YOU EXIST
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No.104213
>>104212
Well, I did say God made it to where I couldn't go outside. You may think I'm retarded or something, but God makes it to where I can't go outside.
>And you, son of man, they will tie with ropes; you will be bound so that you cannot go out among the people. I will make your tongue stick to the roof of your mouth so that you will be silent and unable to rebuke them, for they are a rebellious people.
He makes it to where I can't speak to people more than "Hello", and "thank you", etc.
I have to see a reason to actually live.
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No.104214
>>104212
I would rather become some sideshow tranny attraction. That way I don't have to speak. I have no idea what to say.
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No.104215
>>104214
If you can't meet 'em all, don't meet any of them. That's what I always said
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No.104222
When I'm done fucking you in the butt and smearing my shit all over you I'm going to take a fresh american spirit out of the pack and light up.
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No.104223
>>104222
That is SHIT and you are disgusting. You are a nasty human
Even buttfucking is better than shit-covering peanut butter consistency nastiness. End yourself
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No.104235
But yeah, my little penis excretes and gets covered with precum all the fucking time and it kind of gets annoying. There are even times when something presses down on my prostate with humiliation. It almost hurts sometimes. It's a weird sensation
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No.104237
>>104235
Yet it was the Lord’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer,
and though the Lord makes his life an offering for sin,
he will see his offspring and prolong his days,
and the will of the Lord will prosper in his hand.
Waking up with the shoulder tension and headache
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No.104238
Dang he/she's hot though
Amy Daly was top tier back then
*swoons*
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No.104239
>>104238
GOD he was hot. Geez dood
Uggggghhhhhh
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No.104240
>>104237
>Yet it was the Lord’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer,
> and though the Lord makes his life an offering for sin,
>he will see his offspring and prolong his days,
> and the will of the Lord will prosper in his hand.
I like when daddy abuse me ;)
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No.104241
>>104240
>>104238
God he's hot, and my penis is a dicklet
Really don't care
They're too hot to care
I need him/her locked up in my basement so he/she never gets away from me
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No.104242
>>104241
I need to stop being fat and worship and snuggle others
Maybe I'll become a tranny, but I'd rather have the tranny and say he's mine
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No.104243
>>104238
I need my toy
Uggggghhhhhh
Fuck my life
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No.104244
>>104238
I don't care if I have a dicklet like a little boy
I just want my toys
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No.104245
God he's hot. I think I'm going to become a short shorts and Converse-wearing tranny, for real though
It's like I need him and need to go steal him
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No.104246
>>104238
FUCK ME, dude.
I had to waste my formative years suffering for all the craziness of the world when I just want this very hot man as my toy
I'm not even ashamed of it
That is one very hot man
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No.104248
Did it for attention whoring? Yes
>18 For you know that you were not redeemed from your useless [spiritually unproductive] way of life inherited [by tradition] from your forefathers with perishable things like silver and gold, 19 but [you were actually purchased] with precious blood, like that of a [sacrificial] lamb unblemished and spotless, the priceless blood of Christ.
https://youtu.be/Bb_OLjboRpo?t=61
And all my life was wasted talking to random strangers on the internet who didn't understand Christ's teachings.
Heaven is real
Big dick worship for the sake of big dick worship, and big boob worship, and athlete worship for its own sake is Darwinian Baal worship, and merchants and most Christians still worship this false god
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No.104249
Most Nazis would say she is ugly I guess, but I think she is very beautiful and amazing looking. Normal white women you might see on Tiktok look so boring and abnormal that they're fake. God has a different way of looking at beauty, which is why he chose me.
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No.104250
>>104249
Like an elf! A beautiful amazing elf. I want your girlfriend )or wife), but I won't! :X She cute dough
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/NE7PY0N40H4?feature=share
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No.104251
Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.
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No.104252
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No.104253
Although he had done no violence
and had said nothing deceptive,
yet it pleased Adonai to crush him with illness,
to see if he would present himself as a guilt offering.
If he does, he will see his offspring;
and he will prolong his days;
and at his hand Adonai’s desire
will be accomplished.
Abuse me more, daddy : ) Hee
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No.104257
“Beware that you don’t look down on any of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels are always in the presence of my heavenly Father. For the Son of Man has come to save that which was lost."
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No.104258
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No.104260
I just want rest, and peace and quiet, and love from girly boys who like to wear girl's clothes, and I want to be loved by both men and women for wearing girly clothes. That's it
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No.104261
The increase in wickedness almost makes this world not even worth living in anymore to be honest with you, fam. Things would have been so good, but they fucked it up terribly.
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No.104263
God fucking DAMN, man they fucked it up big time and made a clusterfuck Hell world...
I'm ready to die
Although he had done no violence
and had said nothing deceptive,
yet it pleased Adonai to crush him with illness,
to see if he would present himself as a guilt offering.
If he does, he will see his offspring;
and he will prolong his days;
and at his hand Adonai’s desire
will be accomplished.
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No.104264
I can see why they killed Jesus. They all did the opposite of His words and then blamed Him for all their sins
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No.104265
I would have been a cute boy wearing childish clothes or girly clothes and would have had fun, but no, they had to make an unfun Hell planet
Poppin' that Seroquel
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-oU8NybIRc&ab_channel=EnglishLanguageCultureReferences
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No.104276
HAHA. They really did fuck it up
Why do the nations conspire
and the peoples plot in vain?
2 The kings of the earth rise up
and the rulers band together
against the Lord and against his anointed, saying,
3 “Let us break their chains
and throw off their shackles.”
4 The One enthroned in heaven laughs;
the Lord scoffs at them.
5 He rebukes them in his anger
and terrifies them in his wrath, saying,
6 “I have installed my king
on Zion, my holy mountain.”
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No.104278
An unfun Hell planet of stupid adult people who need to cause suffering for others. They're so wicked, from moment to moment in their daily lives, they never can see how their decisions affect everyone else
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