/pnd/ - Politics, News, Debate

notice that even years after these losers escaped the embarrassing fagshow, they STILL kept the embarrassing bacteria and fungus riddled beards

a beard is a facial toilet

I can't imagine having a toilet attached to my face

I also can't imagine allowing yourself to be fooled into thinking eastern religion and yoga are interesting

honestly, the entire YOGI YOGA MAHARISHI fagshow is white trash

because the filthy brown originators rely on white trash to fund their scam

falling for the stinky, unbathed, filthy, eastern thing proves gullibility BEYOND christian gullibility

imagine thinking that YOGA made you healthy

dear Jerry,

you're a good man, but you'd be much cooler if you REMOVED THE TOILET FROM YOUR FACE

dear Jerry,

even though your word circle bearded version of 'spiritual' gullibility rivals Christian gullibility, I still love you

KILLCEN ALSO HAS A TOILET OF HAIR ATTACHED TO HIS FACE

WHY THE GOVERNMENT WANTS KILLCEN TO HAVE A BEARD :

the bacteria, fungus and viruses

>>296755

>YOGA

lmao.

yoga pants….

no these are called pop a chubby and don't you dare hit on me pants.

seeing your well defined vaginal cleft in such detail that i can pick out if your clitoris is a sweet pea or a fava bean is not part of my usual shopping experience.

while your standing there deciding which herbal teas will best align your chakras and strategically turning and peeping me out the corner of your eye while you clench you glutes and do kegels for maximum effect is really just antagonistic.

technically you are legally clothed.

i've learned to ignore and despise your kind.

a beard is basically a used diaper that surrounds your mouth

>>296765

imagine a world where nobody notices when someone can't differentiate between YOUR and YOU'RE

>>296767

imagine a world without beards. i cant.

a beard is gods gift to men.

see, i had munched some of the finest nubile pussy from the time i was in 8th grade. tasted like strawberries and cream. kinda stuff that makes a man weep tears of joy for the beauty of God's creation.

that was before the beard.

after the beard it got even better.

a beard provides just enough gentle stimulation to the perianal area to sensitize her to the exquisite pleasures of anal.

thanks to my beard i've gaped more mink than i can count.

when they actually orgasm from anal penetration, they start buying you gifts and blowing up you're phone daily.

i figure i've gaped 50 of the finest and i'm currently on hiatus.

your welcome.

>>296769

and YOU'RE* illiterate

>>296770

that mite be true but no doubt my post made you moist.

if you need to go schlick off its okay.

we'll understand.

I mean, sure….. not everybody has what it takes to remember to add an apostrophe and an E

>>296772

lol @ toilet face pretending women enjoy having a public restroom filthy toilet seat dragged across their genitalia

and what woman DOESN'T want to kiss the toilet seat?

>>296769

more than you can count?

not surprising, considering the fact that a one syllable word like YOU'RE* is more than you can spell…

50 is an interesting number.. that reminds me of the good old days, back before I became a strip club deJay..

me?… I actually CAN count (and spell one syllable words) but I decided to stop counting once I realized I had gone over 700

lol @ Mr. toilet beard not realizing he was talking to a former strip club DJ (10 years) and guitarist for a band

hahaha 50

>>296774

na na nah.

we're not talking about flea infested camel jockey beard that smells like curry and parmesan cheese. no.

we are talking about my well groomed and conditioned beard that smells like the orgasm your about to have.

i've been told it feels like a cashmere sweater during a kiss.

good beard conditioner is a must.

imagine T.B.'s facial expression when he realizes I fucked SEVEN strippers at the same time,all by myself

I'd imagine his facial toilet would turn gray

>>296778

again: it's a facial toilet seat

and it's a petri dish

it's not a personal attack

I'm not saying you're a toilet

>>296779

you go girl!

you got moist… but you won't admit it.

i've seen you're kind larp as dudes many times.

dee j… mmm yeah.

I'm simply saying you have a petri dish attached to your face

>>296782

uhhh…… you truly ARE new here, huh?…

pay attention, noob

I DEEJAYED AT TATTLETALE'S STRIP CLUB (and relief deejayed at several other clubs) FOR TEN YEARS

stick around for a while…..

you'll eventually realize who I am

tattletales was the Atlanta strip club mentioned in the Motley Crue song GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS

(Motley Crue were the facial toilet of music)

no amount of 'conditioner' or 'grooming' changes the fact that it's a FACIAL TOILET

humans are THE MOST PREDICTABLE ANIMAL

(that's my secret behind my ability to trigger gutteral angry response by simply stating a simple fact: beards are filthy Petri dishes)

notice that I didn't even have to mention that men with beards feel they need to overcompensate for a lack of masculinity

GOD'S GIFT TO MAN :

I suppose it's really not surprising that somebody who feels the need to grow facial hair to prove they are not a woman would also believe in a fairy tale like God

last time I checked, everybody can tell the difference between a man and a woman

there's no need to grow facial hair to prove anything

unless the problem really doesn't revolve around other people's perceptions

and is actually more a matter of one's own self perception

my mother was the most insightful, intelligent human being I've ever met, to be totally honest with you…

I guess I really lucked out….

and my mother always told me ever since I was a kid, "men with mustaches and beards feel they need to prove they are not a woman"

she also made it quite clear that men who groom their beards more than others are the most likely closet homosexuals

so… yeah.. still to this day nobody has ever proven her wrong….

and every man I've ever met with facial hair has proven her correct

just like Ross Perot, in my mother's business, she absolutely refused to ever hire any man with facial hair…

because Mom didn't need any insecure men who incorporate primal child psychology into their daily existence bringing her company down with them in their downward spiral…

LOL AT CONVINCING YOURSELF THAT YOUR FACIAL TOILET SEAT IS SIMPLY A URINAL

WHAT DID WE LEARN TODAY?

WE LEARNED THAT:

1: people who are overly convinced of their own alleged and intelligence usually can't differentiate between simple one syllable words like THERE, THEIR & THEY'RE

2: becoming an adult does not necessarily equate to emotional stability

3: there is at least one new chunk of fresh meat in here

4: and he has a toilet seat attached to his face

BEARDS = HIDING

BEARDS = FACIAL RELIGION

a false cloak, a facade one hides behind

generally, they are hiding what they perceive to be an inferior facial characteristic, like a lack of a chin or other things which they feel indicate a lack of masculinity

strip clubs don't usually hire dee jays.

margins are tight like nubile butt holes.

of which i've had many.

the girls load their personal playlist into a laptop windows media player.

when the bartender sees a girl take the stage he (or she) loads her playlist and the titillations begin on an in house speaker system.

<you're not fooling anyone.

but i'll realize who you are.

or who you want me to think you are.

tales of my nubile conquests need no further embellishments.

strawberries and cream says it all.

but like i said i'm on hiatus.

gotta run.

have fun with your larp.

i've rather enjoyed it ;)

BEARDS = COSTUMES

>>296803

I finally found the idiot who thinks a strip club DJ's job is playing music

HAHAHAHA YOU STUPID FUCKING TOILET BEARDED "COMPENSATING FOR INSECURITY AND INFERIOR FACIAL CHARACTERISTICS" WANNABE MANLY MAN !!!

a strip club DJ's job is to increase the amount of money the customers are willing to part with

YOU STUPID FUCKING IDIOT

YOU TRULY ARE ONE OF THE STUPIDEST PEOPLE TO STUMBLE IN HERE IN A WHILE

and the first red flag was HOW SMART YOU THINK YOU ARE

"strawberries and cream" is something a homosexual would say, thinking he sounded like a ladies man

HIATUS MY ASS

NO WOMAN WILL FUCK YOU

THAT'S WHY YOU'RE SITTING ALL BY YOURSELF STARING AT A COMPUTER INSTEAD OF BEING AT A JOB RIGHT NOW…

I'm guessing you're on a WORK HIATUS?

lol

hold on a second.. I'm going to ask my wife what she thinks about a guy who's trying to prove how many women he's had sex with by saying the words, "strawberry and cream says it all"

she's sitting right here in front of me.. she just heard me say this in speech to text.. so she is already formulating her response..

God damn it God damn it where is the feature where I can record her voice right now? it usually has that feature in here

I recorded my wife's response to "strawberries and cream"

I'm uploading it to YouTube

be back in 10

LOL @ BEINGSO EFFEMINATETHAT YOUD SAY THE WORDS "NUBILE CONQUESTS"

eewww … you should get a job writing movies for lifetime Network

actually hold… hold on.. my wife just corrected me.. hold on a minute now

HOLD ON. OKAY MY WIFE JUST HEARD ME SAY YOU ARE SO EFFEMINATE YOU SHOULD WRITE MOVIES FOR THE LIFETIME NETWORK.. AND SHE INTERRUPTED ME AND CORRECTED ME

SHE SAYS WAIT SHE SAYS LIFETIME NETWORK IS FOR WOMEN, BUT WHAT YOU SAID DOESN'T APPEAL TO ANY WOMAN WHATSOEVER

AND TRUST ME, BEARDED TOILET BOY

UNLIKE YOU, SHE'S ACTUALLY A REAL WOMAN

SO SHE KNOWS WHAT WOMEN THINK, WHEREAS YOU SIMPLY FANTASIZE

SHE SAID "NUBILE CONQUESTS" ISN'T SOMETHING A WOMAN WOULD EVER SAY, BECAUSE IT'S SO GAY…

SHE SAID IF YOU GOOGLED IT IT WOULD BE A QUOTE FROM SOME KIND OF WEIRD CREEPY BOOK OR DECIDEDLY GAY SHOW OR MOVIE

so she googled it and there was a trailer Park boys meme

you remind me of one of those weird creepy closet homosexuals who always calls women "M'Lady"

you are, aren't you?….

you ARE one of those creepy"M'Lady" faggots

lol @ NUBILE CONQUESTS hahahahaha !!

"M'LADY, I AM ON A HIATUS FROM HETEROSEXUALITY (and employment)"

let me upload the recording of what my wife said when she heard strawberries and cream.. it's about time you actually found out what women think about you instead of trying to convince complete strangers in an empty chat room that you are a toilet-bearded ladies man

keyword is nubile.

i get em before u and your bulldyke title nine bullshit

turns them into man-eaters.

glowing is bad enough.

bulldykes who glow are the absolute worst.

have a great day sarge.

*stands at attention and salutes*

>>296822

correction.. the key word here was

OVERCOMPENSATING HOMOSEXUAY INCLINED EFFEMINATE ADULT MALE WHO USES CREEPY EFFEMINATE TERMINOLOGIES TO DESCRIBE HIS IMAGINARY MASCULINITY AND SEXUAL PROWESS WITH WOMEN, AS HE SITS ALL ALONE WITHOUT A GIRLFRIEND, NO LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP, NO ONE NIGHT STANDS, AND NOT EVEN A PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP WITH A FEMALE, STARING AT A COMPUTER WHILE ALL THE OTHER MEN HIS AGE ARE OUT THERE WORKING, BECAUSE THEY HAVE JOBS

well, maybe it was a little more than just one word, but that was the key point today

that was the keyframe

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!!!!

"MARGINS ARE TIGHT !!!"

BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

see.. the more I think about it the more I realize.. you've never even been to a strip club before

you haven't, have you?

because so far you haven't said anything that even vaguely resembled anyone who's been to a strip club…

do you know how I made an average of $3,000 a night? IT WASN'T BY "PLAYING MUSIC"

A STRIP CLUB DJ IS NOT A RADIO DJ

A STRIP CLUB DJ IS NOT A BACKYARD BIRTHDAY PARTY DJ

HIS JOB HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH PLAYING MUSIC, THAT'S JUST ONE OF THE MANY MULTITASKS REQUIRED WHILE DOING HIS REAL JOB :

PERSUADING THE CUSTOMERS TO SPEND MORE MONEY THAN THEY TOLD THEMSELVES THEY WERE GOING TO SPEND THAT NIGHT

YOU ARE QUITE LITERALLY ONE OF THE STUPIDEST PEOPLE I'VE SEEN IN A LONG TIME

DO YOU KNOW WHY THEY CHARGE A $10 COVER FEE TO ENTER A STRIP CLUB?

you're the type of person who would say "margins are tight so they ask for a $10 cover charge to increase profits"

you idiot.. margins aren't tight at strip clubs

there aren't any margins, you weird creepy effeminate little bearded toilet-faced man

THE REASON THEY HAVE A $10 COVER CHARGE :

'''IF YOU AREN'T WILLING TO PAY $10 TO WALK IN THE DOOR, YOU'RE CERTAINLY NOT GOING TO SPEND ENOUGH MONEY ONCE YOU GET INSIDE TO MAKE IT WORTH OUR WHILE.. WE DON'T WANT CUSTOMERS LIKE YOU.. GET LOST.. GO FIND A TRUCK STOP STRIP CLUB WITH A BARTENDER WHO PUSHES PLAY ON A LAPTOP, BECAUSE WE DON'T WANT YOUR TYPE OF BUSINESS==

>>296824

i am currently at this very moment gainfully employed by what you might call a covid relief task force. when our work is finished you and the corrupt healthcare system that placed you here for it's purposes will be heading so far up in the hills you'll need oxygen canisters to breathe.

you might wanna shave those pits sarge and reacquaint yourself with the feminine hygiene products.

bulldyking with special ops has left you a bit wooly and ripe.

THE REASON THEY HAVE A $10 COVER CHARGE :

IF YOU AREN'T WILLING TO PAY $10 TO WALK IN THE DOOR, YOU'RE CERTAINLY NOT GOING TO SPEND ENOUGH MONEY ONCE YOU GET INSIDE TO MAKE IT WORTH OUR WHILE.. WE DON'T WANT CUSTOMERS LIKE YOU.. GET LOST.. GO FIND A TRUCK STOP STRIP CLUB WITH A BARTENDER WHO PUSHES PLAY ON A LAPTOP, BECAUSE WE DON'T WANT YOUR TYPE OF BUSINESS

let me explain something to you, you stupid powerless little lonely man..

the DJ is there too act as a circus Barker, but in a much less pushy capacity…

if there's no DJ talking to the customers, they will spend as little as possible… before they walked into the door, they already told themselves the financial limit for the evening…

no matter who they are, they have already made a decision how much money they are willing to spend that night because they are desperate fools who don't know how to get any pussy, but they are willing to pay for an opportunity to simply look at some… chumps… suckers… losers… cheapskates…

so my job was to talk them out of all the money in their wallet…

and the way that is done is by speaking to all of them as if they were lawyers or doctors… even if they are a plumber, you speak to them the same way you would speak to a lawyer or a doctor…

dignified.. with respect and class

and that's how you guilt them into spending more money… because they feel the need to prove that they are classy and they feel that they will seem like cheapskates if they don't continue to spend more money…

I'm not saying all strip club DJs use my same technique, because they certainly don't…

most strip club DJs I've ever known would get up on the microphone and think it was about hooting and hollering and yelling "HELL YEAH!!"

but that's not how you talk men out of all their money

>>296832

you don't need to explain your hiatus from employment

instead, right now is the time when you should be paying very close attention….

because this is not a personal attack against you

this is a learning experience for you……

this is the day you accidentally stumbled into a conversation with a 58-year-old man who was in a band in Atlanta Georgia back in the '80s and if you remember those days, you'll know exactly how much snatch you get if you play guitar in a band..

this is the day you accidentally stumbled into a conversation with the 58-year-old man who worked as a strip club DJ in Atlanta for 10 years, who actuallyDIDhave a $1,600 guarantee when they offered me the job…

(they offered me the job because I have a gift of gab in real life, and I have a strange personality that comes across, even though it's a little bit irritating at times, which are the exact qualities they're looking for.. somebody who's good with words, and understands psychology… because my use of psychological tactics is the reason all the dancers working my shifts made four times as much money as when they had another DJ… because I only worked 4 days a week, so they had a secondary DJ on those nights, the shitty mon-wed week nights)

today is the day you accidentally found yourself assuming that you were speaking with some kind of image board parody…

today's the day you somehow managed to find yourself walking down the red carpet.. into a gala learning experience, where you found out instead of an image board parody, you ended up getting schooled by a guy who talked his way into a job with ZZ top as their art director

today's the day you both enrolled in college and graduated by the end of the conversation….

because you're getting schooled like never before, bearded one

I'm quite sure that the strip club industry has changed drastically since I quit

which is a funny story actually..

see, when you're 18 years old, and you're getting high with a millionaire strip club owner, and he is impressed with your communication skills and bold self-confidence and assertiveness.. and he offers you a job as a strip club DJ, with a guaranteed minimum of at least $1,600 cash per night, and the job description involves nothing more than being outgoing on the microphone while having your dick sucked up in the DJ booth and all the drugs and alcohol you could ever imagine are completely free.. you could say it's quite alluring…

but it's really not all that surprising that 3,650 days later, give or take a month or two.. you would see the DJ booth as a coffin with turntables…

you really see it all from up there in the DJ booth

you really gain a solid perspective on everything you thought you understood before.. you learn the truth about human psychology and sexuality and ego and The human condition…

and after 10 years, the last thing you want to do after work is party and have sex and listen to music

it's like working at McDonald's…

if you have a passion for hamburgers, 10 years working at McDonald's will change that for you…

hang in there.. you're going to graduate soon

but you need to keep paying attention

my manager was so damn cool.. he had an amazing philosophy on management, a philosophy most managers never seem to grasp :

KEEP YOUR EMPLOYEES HAPPY

Don was absolutely cool as shit!!

he would randomly shut down, close the doors, and throw parties just for the employees, with all the drugs and food and sex and Insanity you could handle

>>296834

you need to take it easy with the go pills sarge.

your gettin' a little manicky babe.

Don really liked me because I pulled it off in a very distinguished way.. I had a banter that was fluid like a radio dj, but much more reserved and dignified

like I said.. you're not going to talk anybody into spending all their money by making them feel like you perceive them as being broke

the way you make broke people spend money is by pretending that you think they are rich

it's really quite simple but obviously the other DJs thought their job was about "being the crazy wild man up in the DJ booth who plays music and hoots and hollers"

and while those DJs are hooting and hollering, the customers are busy trying to save money

but as much as Don liked me, I was still absolutely floored that one day I showed up for work and he looked me in the eyes and said "you've got a problem, Neptune !"

uh-oh ……

so he said "follow me"

he took me out into the parking lot and said, "your problem is you need a car"

because just like the strippers, I took taxis everywhere.. it's funny when you're making $3,000 a night in unreported cash, how something like taxi cabs seem like a triviality

and that's where Don presented me with the keys to his very own 1968 white Ford mustang, with the original paint job…

at least I think it was 68..

number one I'm not a big macho car enthusiast, but more importantly I'm 58 years old now, so my memory is slipping because I didn't just burn my candle from both ends.. I literally microwaved my candle when I was 12 years old

was it 65? 67?

somebody refresh my memory. what was the first year for the Ford mustang?

because Don gave me his Ford mustang he bought when he was a teenager.. his first car.. it was in excellent condition..

it was the first mustang ever released, whatever year that was.. forgive me if I'm not good with car models and years

and Don realized that of course, after 10 years I was becoming jaded big time.. that job has a way of making you hate humans and hate drugs and hate money and hate sex and hate yourself

just like strippers, the male employees also become jaded and burnt out and begin hating people

a stripper job is to pretend that she likes you

that's the whole premise

their job is to make you feel that day appreciate you as a person

that they actually like you

that way, you'll do all their work for them in that little brain of yours, where you start imagining scenarios about being a hero and sweeping her out of the strip club into a better life

but trust me..

THEY HATE YOU

you represent nothing more than a Target to them

and you're not going to be having sex with them, no matter how much you tip..

you might be able to talk some of them into acts of prostitution for a much higher dollar amount, but they're not going to have sex with you because they like you..

PLUS, THE DJ IS ALREADY FUCKINGALL OF THEM

strippers don't like you because they don't like anyone and they don't even like themselves

BUT THEY HATE YOU IN PARTICULAR

YOU.. SPECIFICALLY YOU

THEY HATE YOU MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE

AS LONG AS YOU'RE THE ONE THEY ARE TALKING TO…

IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO YOU ARE

IF YOU'RE TALKING TO THEM, THEY HATE YOU THEY ARE ALREADY PLANNING HOW TO SPEND YOUR MONEY WITH THEIR JUNKIE BOYFRIEND WHO'S SITTING ON THEIR SOFA AS YOU SPEAK

if you care to notice, there is no swashbuckling "M'Lady" in this story… there is no 'NUBILE CONQUEST" in the strippers perception of you

when you've blown your load into well over 700 women, more specifically.. because I am a stickler for technical accuracy… when you have emptied your testicles into well over 600 women whose names you could remember, and countless dozens of women who you never even bothered asking their name in the first place..

it changes your perspective

and after 10 years up there in the DJ booth.. the coffin with turntables.. your view no longer features hot strippers and horny customers

you no longer seen a room full of partiers

because they have all become animals..

flawed, psychologically broken, self-loathing animals…

they become desperate and disgusting and a miserable yet concise microcosm of the entire human rights

even though Don had just recently giving me his first car… and even though he kept our morale as high as possible, I simply couldn't take it anymore

so one day I recorded what I called "my arual autopilot"…. it was me introducing 4 strippers, complete with the three song sets of each stripper

and I popped it in the PA system

and I hit "play"

and I grabbed my things

and walked out the door

I was banging a 17-year-old chick named Jill Weiland, (who was the same girlfriend who appeared on the geraldo show with me) so I went home and told Jill "I'm done.. I'm never going back there again"

i've got a date with the new cashier at orange julius tonight at 9 when she gets off work.

19 years old stone mink.

taking her out for surf and turf at a decent casual dining establishment.

a week from now we'll knock boots.

i'll report back with deets.

rights = race

human race, Not human Rights

>>296861

why are you waiting a week? that's not how I've ever done it.. but if that works for you, then by all means why not make it a year?

>>296861

I used to have a little specialty, you could say…

a little gift of gab, I suppose ……

because I was really good at talking rooms full of strangers into having an orgy

it was all in the delivery…

it has to be executed with persuasive confidence that doesn't feel persuasive, it just feels natural

and I was always careful never to pose anything in the form of a question.. I always delivered the message in a statement instead of a question

finesse.

patience finesse and a genuine regard for her.

she could still say no.

dinner will be fantastic either way.

look, if it's going to happen then it's going to happen..

beating around the bush is the wrong way allowing things to happen on their own

>>296864

dude.. first it was nubile conquests.. and strawberries and cream..

just when it couldn't get any more effeminate

YOU USED THE WORD FINESSE

my friends in real life had several opportunities to watch me talk people into sex

and that's why they would always come to my apartment on their first dates

finesse is probably the last word I would ever choose to describe self-confidence or conveying a feel of comfortableness with somebody

finesse.. let me tell you a true story

I used to buy dope from a stupid disgusting nigger who called himself "finesse"

it means trying to smoothly hide your con man technique

that's the exact opposite of how you get pussy, unless you are a stupid greasy meth dealing NIGGER

like Kevin or Louis or Steve or Michael or Ira or Kelly…

these were my real life buddies who would bring their first dates over to my apartment, because they knew I could talk to the girls into having sex with them right there on the spot..

right there in my living room

and I did it without using any effeminate concepts like finesse or strawberries and cream

there certainly wasn't any "nubile conquest", just an extremely honest man with a good communication skill and an even better understanding of human nature

I gave them permission

my mother was the most intelligent insightful introspective and outgoing person I've ever met in my life…

she understood people better than anyone you've ever met in your life.. I guarantee it.. I absolutely guarantee my mother understood "human psychology and what makes people tick, how to read somebody like a book, and how to get what you want out of people" better than any expert you've ever watched on YouTube

I learned a lot from my mother…

she was really cool, so I was able to discuss this very topic with her.. I explained how I used to talk rooms full of complete strangers into taking off their clothes and having sex with each other…

and how the men were always the chickens

how the women never even questioned it, and when they heard it delivered the right way, they were the first ones to take off their clothes

men were the cowards.. they were the ones with the big talk, but when it came to taking off their clothes suddenly they freaked out and they showed that they are nothing more than scared little boys

my mother told me, "you were simply giving them permission to follow their instincts"

and that's exactly what I was doing

I simply worded it in a way nobody ever worded it to them before

I was the first person to ever Pat them on the back and tell them it was okay

and everybody had these hidden repressed desires

and that's why I had many men sit there and watch their wives or girlfriends suck my dick

I explained to my mother that after several times, I no longer even wanted to participate in the sex

I was only interested in closing the deal.. so I would talk people into group sex in my own apartment and walk out the door once they started having sex

I realize human nature.. human nature is the reason you are telling yourself "he's lying"

but you're wrong

every single word is 100% true

I would talk them into a gangbang… or an orgy, depending on how many women there were

and once they started fucking, I enjoyed freaking them out by leaving my own goddamn apartment and walking around the block a few times…

I would generally time it by smoking cigarettes.. I know how many cigarettes it took to spend an hour

so an hour later I would suddenly walk back into my apartment AND TELL EVERYONE TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY APARTMENT simply to blow their minds.. you wouldn't believe the expressions on people's faces after you've talked them into group sex, then left them alone in your own apartment to have an orgy, then suddenly reappeared and demanded everybody leaves immediately

you're talking about a real bipolarcoaster ride here

and eventually, I met Stephanie, my 14-year-old girlfriend from Lichtenstein

and I've no longer had any desire to play social engineering psychology games with people's sexuality

and I changed my behavior

but by all means.. good luck on that most recent project

I hope it all goes well.. and I'm being quite sincere.. I don't hate you or dislike you

myself? I would be emptying my nuts into her by 11:00 p.m., because I would want to start early enough to get in at least four or five hours of hardcore Insanity before the sun came up

without using any hyperbole or exaggeration whatsoever….

THE most insightful human being I've ever met in my entire life

finessing somebody means scamming them being insincere…

that's what people do when they don't have any self-confidence

THE SECRET IS FINDING THE SAME ENERGY YOU HAVE WITH FRIENDS THAT YOU'VE KNOWN FOR YEARS

the secret is creating that same energy between you and somebody you just met

it's actually a lot easier than you might think

and it has nothing to do with insincerity, conning, scamming or finessing

it's 100% real and honest

people know it when they see it

people know it when they feel it

it's immediate

it almost feels like you already knew it beforehand

THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT

not by finessing and waiting and hoping and asking and playing games like everybody else does

finesse means she knows i'm interested in her and i know she's interested in my.

playing down the chemistry and sexual tension is a skill.

some might say civilized.

it's got nothing to do with strippers, dope heads or con men.

going to your apartment on a first date is outlandish and bizarre.

like i said lay off the go pills sarge.

congratulations, Mr beard

you and your facial public urinal have graduated

congratulations

you're growing inside

and it feels good

>>296883

I WAS ABOUT TO SAY GOODBYE BUT YOU JUST MENTIONED SOMETHING IRONIC

CUZ THAT'S EXACTLY HOW I WOULD TALK SOME NEW GIRL INTO HAVING SEX WITH KEVIN ON THE FIRST DATE

IT'S LITERALLY IRONIC THAT YOU WOULD MENTION THE EXACT WORDS

WHAT I WOULD DO IS EXPLAIN THE SITUATION IN ITS MOST BASIC TERMS

HE ASKED HER OUT, NOT BECAUSE HE LIKES WATCHING MOVIES AND GOING OUT TO DINNER, BUT BECAUSE HE WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH HER

AND SHE KNOWS THE REASON HE ASKED HER OUT IS BECAUSE HE WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH HER

AND THE REASON SHE AGREED TO GOING TO A MOVIE IS BECAUSE SHE MAY VERY WELL BE INTERESTED IN HAVING SEX WITH HIM, BUT SHE FEELS COMPELLED TO BEHAVE BY SOCIETY'S RULES AND TO DELAY THE SEX

AND THIS IS A FORM OF PSYCHOLOGICAL CATTLE THINK, BECAUSE SHE IS ONLY HOLDING BACK DUE TO WHAT SHE THINKS SOCIETY WOULD EXPECT HER TO DO

AND I WOULD GIVE HER PERMISSION TO DISREGARD WHAT SOCIETY MIGHT THINK, AND FOLLOW HER INSTINCTS

PERMISSION TO FOLLOW THROUGH ON THE DECISION TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM

BECAUSE WHEN SHE SAID YES TO DINNER, SHE ACTUALLY MET YES TO SEX

funny how still seem to be talking to me like you think you're teaching me something

you still don't seem to realize that you are a punk who brags about 50 girls and talks about strawberries and cream and nubile conquests like a goddamn homosexual

you don't seem to realize that you are not even qualified to be my apprentice

so don't you ever talk down your nose to me again you toilet face bitch who thinks he has to finesse his way into somebody liking him

in my opinion you are a woman

realize that you are still talking down your nose to me

you fucking pathetic amateur sexual failure effeminate limp-breasted toilet face overcompensating romantic novice

you'd need three step ladders to reach my testicles and kiss them

why don't you come here and let me find out?

huh?

let me find out if your beard tickles my testicles

STRAWBERRIES AND CREAM BOY

my wife says this is the part where I asked you to tell me what your particular fetish is

my wife's interested in your fetish.. please explain

maybe you could use an external perspective here.. I'm being completely honest when I say you were trying to prove you are a heterosexual BYE GIVING A DESCRIPTION TO PROVE YOU HAVE PERFORMED CUNNILINGUS BEFORE

by using the decidedly effeminate terminology STRAWBERRIES AND CREAM

in fact, you thought it was important to mention it more than once

STRAWBERRIES AND CREAM STRAWBERRIES AND CREAM

in an attempt to demonstrate your heterosexuality, you ended up appearing extremely gay.. that was probablyTHEmost homosexual sounding terminology you could have possibly pulled out of that little toilet face hat of yours

my wife just said maybe if you shaved that petri dish off your face she might decide to have sex tonight

unless of course your petri dish was designed to hide a facial characteristic that seems less than masculine to you

yeah Mr strawberries and cream

THAT WAS THE GAYEST SOUNDING THING I'VE HEARD IN YEARS

you could stand on a street corner with a neon sign and an arrow pointing at you that said I ENJOY SUCKING MY OWN FECES OFF OF NEGRO PENISES and still seemed less gay than you do right now

you think finessing somebody means you've already closed the deal

LOL you monkey boy and your toilet hair

finessing somebody means CONNING them

because you don't know how to close the deal

car salesmen that have to finesse a week or more, waiting for the customer to come back after changing their mind….

simply don't know how to close the deal

they're not capable of making the sale

someone who knows how to close the deal

simply reaffirms the customers reason for being there in the first place, and the sale is finalized right there on the spot

"taking your time" is how bad salesman fool themselves into thinking it's okay if you don't know how to sell a car…

they pretend like it was their decision to take their time

when in reality, they had no choice but to sit and wait and Hope somebody makes the decision for them and they don't have to actually close any deals

I certainly hope you're not taking a hiatus from a sales position, because you don't know how to sell jack shit

if you were a salesman for my company, your hiatus would be permanent, and it would have begun on the first day

certainly hope this new potential STRAWBERRIES AND CREAM M'LADY NUBILE CONQUEST knows that you are a man and not a woman…

oh, that's right.. I almost forgot

YOU GREW A BEARD TO MAKE SURE PEOPLE COULD TELL YOU WERE A MAN

okay… so you've proven you can grow facial hair

but you still don't seem very confident, and you're talking about finessing for at least a week and hoping things work out…

any other things you can do to prove that you are not a woman?

how about a facial tattoo that says "I SWEAR TO GOD I'M NOT A WOMAN"?

and I think my wife is 100% correct..

that's exactly why the word nubile is even in your already effeminate vocabulary

the reason I know she's right is because any man who uses the term strawberries and cream or nubile conquest to prove his heterosexuality OBVIOUSLY PREFERS EFFEMINATE PERSPECTIVE PORN

and unless you're watching lifetime network, I don't think you can get any more effeminate than nubiles.com

Jerry, you're a good dude

but your FAKE EASTERN PHILOSOPHY IS BULLSHIT

So do NOT ever pretend your word circles' have value

word circles' are nothing more than another eastern Indian technique of trying to appear wise, yet saying NOTHING

LOOK WITHIN, and find a toilet beard

instead of looking within

look into a mirror

see that thing hanging off your face?

it's a public toilet

>>296746

>Jerry is TOTALLY FULL OF SHIT

I'm offended by your choice of words.

yes, he's full of shit

but not TOTALLY