~1
An American is walking down the street when he sees a Polak
with a very long pole and a yardstick. He's standing the pole on its
end and trying to reach the top of it with his yardstick.
Seeing the Polak's ignorance, the American wrenches the pole
out of his hand, lays it on the sidewalk, measures it with the
yardstick, and says, "There! 10 feet long."
The Polak grabs the yardstick and shouts, "You idiot American!
I don't care how long it is! I want to know how high it is!"
~2
Polish firing squad, stands in a circle.
~3
New Polish navy has glass bottom boats, to see to the old Polish navy.
~4
Polish wedding, the groom stands by the reset button (bowling joke).
~5
Polish kamikaze flew 48 successful missions.
~6
Polish loan shark lends out all his money, skips town.
~7
Q. Why don't polish women use vibrators?
A. It chips their teeth.
~8
Q. How do you sink a polish battleship?
A. Put it in water.
~9
Q: Have you seen the polish mine detector.
A1: Put you fingers in your ears and start stamping the ground with your foot.
A2: Start backing up and waving the detector in front of you.
~10
A polish guy wins a brand new sports car in a contest. He
drives around all the time waving at the rednecks. One day the
rednecks stop him, they draw a circle in the dirt and say "If you step
out of that circle, we will kick your ass." They pick up hammers and
start busting up his new car. They look back and the is smiling. They
hit the car some more, and he is laughing. They walk over to him and
ask "Why are you laughing, we just busted up your car."
He says "I know, but I stepped out of the circle 9 times."
~11
Did you hear about the terrible automobile accident last night? A
polish family on vacation lost all of their children. The pickup
truck they were riding in ran off the road into a lake and sank to the
bottom. The parents got out of the cab OK but all the kids in the
back drowned…they couldn't get the tailgate open.
~12
A Polish and an Italian are hunting in the woods. Suddenly a
naked woman appears.
Italian: Boy, I could eat her!…
The Polish guy shot her.
~13
Why wasn't Christ born in Poland?
Because they couldn't find three wisemen and a virgin.
~14
Q: What do you get if you integrate around Europe?
A: Zero. Because there are no poles in Europe.
Actually, there are some Poles in Europe, but they're removable.
~15
Q: Why did the Polak cross the road?
A: He couldn't get his dick out of the chicken.
~16
Q: How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree?
A: Wave to him.
~17
The Minnesota Fish and Game Comission wanted to develop a fish that would offer more for their sportsmen so they crossed a Coho with a Walleye and called it a Kowal. It grew to a nice size and reproduced well but it wouldn't bite. They crossed the Kowal with a Muskie and called it a Kowalski but they were so stupid they had to teach them how to swim.
~18
Two Polish hunters were driving through the country to go bear hunting. They came upon a fork in the road where a sign read "BEAR LEFT" so they went home.
~19
These two Polish guys rent a boat and go fishing in a lake. They are
amazed at the number of fish that they caught that day, so one says to
the other, "We'll have to come back here tomorrow!"
The other asks, "But how will we remember where this spot is?"
The first guy then takes a can of spray paint, paints an X on
the bottom of the boat, and says, "We'll just look for this X
tomorrow."
The other guy says, "You idiot! How do you know we'll get the
same boat?"
~20
Did you hear in the news that a 747 recently crashed in a cemetery inPoland? The Polish officials have so far retrieved 2000 bodies.
