I hate to see everyone hurting. I understand your desire to break an addiction, I have my own of different kind but overpowering none the less. But please give yourself a break about the things that are turning you on. They are just thoughts, in most cases. And the more you try to repress them the more they will own you.
These a hard times for people. Things are bleak and there seems to be nothing to look forward to. But you are a human and have a brain that needs to be stimulated (I mean mentally not sexually!). So it starts to think of things that are out of the norm for yourself. How boring would life be if it was all the same all the time. I hate to see people beating themselves up so much. There are plenty of people to put you down, don’t do it yourself!
But I do know for a fact that the more you try to stop thinking of something the more your brain will want to think about it. Kinda like “don’t push this button”, what’s the next thing you do? Exactly. Then if you add tons of idle time and the layer of self inflicted shame and guilt and you have yourself a Fetish my friends. It’s kinda like the zen thing, just let the thoughts come and go and that’s all they are, thoughts. Some people it may be more then just thoughts, but I know guilt and shame make everything harder everything worse. Just take it easy on yourself, we are all good people. I hope this helps, truly.
