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/nofap/ - Fappers Anonymous

A support group for getting your fap addiction under control.

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RULES AND FAQ: https://8kun.top/nofap/rules.html

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 No.17745

In a few days I'll hit the 6 month mark of nofap - the momentum this has generated makes it a lot easier to continue forward, and for the most part I think I am in the free and clear with very little risk of falling back my old ways at this point. I want to share my thoughts about this streak and how I managed to achieve it, after constantly trying and failing to break free over a period of 9 years. Whether this applies to you or anyone else, I truly could not say. It's fairly obvious to most, except for a few dim souls here and there, that while nofapping, you're not supposed to look at porn, but it goes beyond that. You truly need to avoid anything that could trigger an urgewave in you. The problem with urgewaves is that they reconfigure one's basic values in the moment by invoking apathy in the face of a greater desire, and it's entirely outside of one's control. Sometimes these moments can be pushed through with sheer willpower, but willpower is finite. The key, I have found, is to avoid the urgewaves altogether, as much as possible, by avoiding anything and everything that could trigger them. This means:

1. Do not look at porn (obviously).

2. Do not look at ANY media containing suggestive content like "softcore" stuff, suggestive-but-SFW type images, etc.

3. Do not look at ANY image that even invokes a slight tingle in your mind - even if there is nothing particularly sexual in nature about the image, it could be a fully clothed woman in a non-suggestive pose. If it invokes even so much as the slightest hint of desire, leave.

4. If you are on a website, or watching TV, or playing a game, where there is anything being posted or displayed that could trigger an urgewave, even if it's a SFW site or piece of media - turn it off, close the tab, go do something else.

5. If you see a pretty girl in real life - avert thine eyes. Do not check her out. Do not feed the beast.

6. In the end, the final boss - your brain - will do whatever it takes to go back, and will invent its own fantasies and mental pornography. I made the mistake of allowing myself to indulge in these mental fantasies in the past by rationalizing to myself that it was alright because it wasn't "real porn". This resulted in the destruction of some very promising streaks. Watching porn in your mind's eye is maybe not quite as risky as watching internet porn, but porn is porn. Stop thinking about it.

Naturally, I am not suggesting that you should never be able to indulge in the sight of a sexy woman ever again. For my own part, I have found that over time I've built up something of a resistance, which allows me to lower my guard. It's not a problem for me to see a suggestive image now - but if I indulge too much, I will increase the risk of experiencing urgewaves that could undermine my effort. In the beginning however, you need to be strict with yourself, you need to be hardcore. Your sexual desire is out of whack and a strong medicine is needed in order to put it back to a more natural state. You should definitely never look at porn or think pornographic thoughts ever again, but as time goes on you don't have to be as strict as I've outlined in my 6 points. Just be careful not to awaken the fap demon - it never truly goes away, but it can be put to rest.

As far as sex goes, I have not had sex at all in this time. However, I would only *prescribe* no-sex for the initial 3-month "reset" period. After that, have sex if you want. If you want to continue without it, continue with no-sex. But no matter what you do, never go back to masturbation and porn.

____________________________
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.

 No.17746

Now I'd like to take a moment to address the bad advice and opinions from cumbrains and porn addicts that I often see elsewhere on the internet, that only make nofap more difficult to understand, and confounded my own efforts especially early on.

1. "Bro, it's PORN that's the problem, not MASTURBATION. MASTURBATION is totally okay!"

Shut the FUCK up you drooling cocksucker, this is hands down the most dangerous, shittiest, and most useless piece of advice I've seen. Porn is merely a potent kind of fuel - masturbation is the vehicle that carries you to Dopamine City. Porn helps to facilitate masturbation, which is the entire point. Masturbation, sex, porn, and everything else - it's all forms of sexual stimulation to which we can become addicted, and are in fact collectively addicted. Even if you didn't watch porn and masturbate it is hypothetically possible for one to become a sex addict, were it possible for you to have an endless access to willing women every single day. If you want to overcome the actual problem that is harming your life, you need to stop masturbating, period.

2. "Bro, it's okay to masturbate in moderation."

Bit of a riff on #1, but a slightly different angle. Are you going to offer that same advice to a long-time, hardcore alcoholic? "Bro it's just one drink". It's never just one drink, and it's never just one fap. This is the whole reason for my advice above about avoiding all suggestive imagery - the moment you put your foot on the slide, doors start opening and before you know it you're slipping back down. If you are able to masturbate without porn in whatever a "moderate" frequency is, and continue with your happy and productive life, more power to you. But if not, don't delude yourself. Masturbation is not in itself inherently good or bad, but it does have an addictive dark side. If we didn't live in such a fucked up toxic clown world hell, then "masturbating in moderation" probably wouldn't be that big of a deal. What is moderation, by the way? When I fapped, I wasn't cranking it multiple times a day. My normal frequency was 2-3 times a week. That frequency seems like it shouldn't be a big deal, but I can say with absolute certainty that it was incredibly bad for me. Maybe your life is awesome, and you don't need nofap. Great. But I can promise you that there are many of us whose lives do suck, and in which fapping is a contributing factor, and do in fact need nofap to help fix our state of mind. So kindly fuck off with your bad advice. There is no such thing as "just once" and for an addict, there is no such thing as moderation.

3. "Bro, if I don't fap I go crazy! I need it to stay sane."

Dear Coomer, the reason why not fapping makes you crazy is precisely because you are addicted. This idea that people "need" to orgasm at regular intervals or else they go crazy is a massive delusion that keeps us in this self-reinforcing cycle. You don't need it, and when you break free you will no longer be crazy. I'm near the 6 month mark and I have a greater sense of peace than I've ever had in the 20 years I've lost fapping away my sanity and vitality.

Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.

 No.17747

4. "Bro, I need to fap to get Post-Nut Clarity™. That's when I make all my major decisions and have my deepest thoughts!"

If any of you ever browse half-chan /pol/ and have seen a nofap thread, you might have seen the german coomer who visits nearly every nofap thread to lecture us about Post-Nut Clarity - as if guys like us haven't been cooming for years and have no idea what he's talking about. The addict has too much brain fog to realize that we are all fully aware of the so-called "clarity" that visits you after orgasm, and we don't care. The fact is, Post-Nut Clarity is not some nirvana-like heightened state of mind that elevates you above what you've deluded yourself into thinking is a normal state of mind - what it really is is only a momentary reprieve from the compulsive desires to which you are a slave. In a sense, it's a momentary freedom from desire, when you are no longer dominated by your slavish "need" to fap. It's also a testament to just how subject you really are to some of the internal workings of your unconscious mind. If you fap, try to observe in the moment of your orgasm how your desire drastically shifts from 100% to 0% in a few seconds after finishing, and how it alters your behavior. That alone should humble an honest man.

5. "Hi, I'm a stupid idiot. I'm doing nofap but I edge for hours to porn. It's okay though because I don't cum."

I see these posts from time to time. Maybe they're trolling me, I'm not sure. It's hard for me to think sometimes that someone can be so addicted to tickling their pickle that they will delude themselves into thinking that edging, which is quite possibly the worst thing you can do to yourself, is somehow keeping in line with nofap. If this really is you, then try to realize that the fact that you have to compulsively touch yourself so much is a flaming red flag that is violently spinning at 50,000 RPM. Stop touching yourself. In my view these guys are really no different in principle than the "masturbation in moderation" and "it's porn not masturbation" guys. They are all operating on different flavors of the same delusion for the purpose of avoiding confronting our individual and collective sexual dysfunction.

I hope that something I've said is of some value to someone here. It's the first day of a new year. Let's stop fapping and start rising.

"To be blind is bad, but worse is to have eyes and not see."

"A wise man will be master of his mind. A fool will be its slave."

"There is nothing the body suffers that the soul may not profit by."

"Failure is success if we learn from it."

"All we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think, we become."

"Either control your own destiny, or someone else will."

Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.



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