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Help Anonymous 02/10/20 (Mon) 21:12:03 No.17418

>become addicted to porn at a young age

>become addicted to imageboards shortly after

>become a complete degenerate/hikki

>on path to wizardhood

>miserable

>fix my sleeping schedule

>trying to eat cleaner (never succeeded at true clean diet, but eliminated most trash foods)

>start working out

>got a job

>all this time slowly overcoming anxiety

>get a gf

>A few months in the relationship in talk of porn comes up, I tell her my struggles. I vow to her I will never watch it again.

>dont touch porn for 117 days

>its easy, hardly even have urges to watch it, when i do i easly ignore it

>one day sudden extreme urge to watch porn while im at work, i go to the bathroom and pull some up on my phone (fucking disgusting i know, every time i think of this i shudder)

>I relapse. 117 days of progress thrown away in a few minutes

>It has been two months since my relapse and since then I have not been able to abstain. on average I go like 4-6 days and then I binge watch it like 3 times in a row and I hate myself and promise myself and I will never do it again. I pray for forgiveness and for strength to abstain.

>Been too afraid to confess to my gf that I failed. I know it would hurt her.

Friends, how can I overcome this horrid addiction for good?

I thought I had conquered it; but I suppose that was a part of the root of my failure: hubris.

How does one defeat this evil?

____________________________

Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.

Anonymous 02/11/20 (Tue) 19:08:34 No.17419

>Friends, how can I overcome this horrid addiction for good?

I doubt it's possible. And you're right that it was hubris that got you.

Porn is like junk food, in that it's an empty simulation of something that satisfies a human need. We'll never get rid of human needs, so we'll always be tempted. Given this insoluble conflict, there arises a distinction in our minds between the merely animal part of the brain, and the human will. The animal can't see past dopamine hits and is a slave to every skinnerbox, whereas the will can self-moderate.

It's good to realize and maintain a sense of spiritual loftiness, and conversely, a contempt of that which is base. It keeps you from identifying yourself as the kind of "consoomer" who willingly gives himself over to any kind of attractive nuisance. But, this only partly mitigates the problem of temptation.

Living in modernity entails a constant exercise of the will to simply avoid being drawn into simulacra: porn, junk food, idle entertainment, etc. It seems grim and sisyphean to realize that the will is like any muscle: it fatigues, and has weaker or stronger days. You'll never have a perfect defense against temptation, but there are better and worse states to be in, and practice is how we get better.

>I relapse. 117 days of progress thrown away in a few minutes

That's not strictly true; in the story of your life, there were those 117 days where you weren't a slave. Now the story continues, and you decide what the totality of your life will amount to.

Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.