>>17318
>Every time I relapse it's not over red-blooded stuff (boobs, butts, sex) but over a few fetishes which have always captivated me. Sometimes there's not even a particular trigger, just the memory. Often the relapse begins when I'm feeling particularly stressed, zoned out, tired, incompetent, etc.
Pic related filename reads: "why do stock photos of black women always have them be with THAT type of hair and with that lighter skin tone?" with a -q in place of a question mark. For the record I mostly like darker chicks than that in real life.
I feel kinda elitist just for posting here because for the past month and a half I've lately I've been going six to seven days in between jerkoffs. Many people here, that is a lot of days, and I am not a huge porn addict.
However I have went a whole month earlier this year. Ironically it was in the days before and after the first time I ever went on a date with a girl. Apparently it made me want to be honorable and not jack off. This girl in question apparently is still willing to go out with me at least once more and I see her multiple times per week at our Walmart job, but COVID-19 is delaying me getting another date with her.
I often find typical porn to be disgusting and useless because you never know the context of who is being exploited or not, unless it is an extremely obvious webcam footage of two horny exhibitionists or a mutual sex tape, but I get impatient with long sex tape videos of happy people showing off and feel like I'm not respecting them when I skip over their sex and get to the climax.
I try not to indulge in too much anime porn because I am spending like five seconds on each image that some artist spent hours creating. Also there's not a lot of dark-skin anime women being drawn and glamorized.
My major fetish is not images really, but people indulging in happy descriptive scenarios that could maybe plausibly not be just fantasies. I've been exclusively attracted to black chicks thanks to my environment and surroundings in a very "urban" area where almost all young women I notice are black, and many of them are very feminine African women. That's my friend from work, and she is very sexy and beautiful, and talks very ladylike to me, despite wearing conservative clothing and not having big boobs. She has a nice butt which I only notice depending on how she wears her top clothing, but it is not some huge big black booty. Pretty standard female rump.
My sleep schedule was off earlier this day and I was gonna go to bed at 1:03AM but for some reason I decided to check to see who was active on this one text-based anonymous random one-on-one chatting website.
I typed in a lot of tags that have to do with people who fantasize being sexual with a different race. I have only encountered someone claiming to be a female who is into white guys like two or three times and I have only successfully engaged in a chat with one, one of those times.
The other two times they disconnected with me because I pretended to be a female and they said that they just wanted a white guy.
The one time was when I asked "what are you here for" and she said "I like white guys" and apparently I stumbled across a lonely 19 year old black chick from Trinidad and Tobago. I was so impressed that some young Caribbean chick would be desperate enough to go looking to satisfy her sense of sexuality and preference for exotic white guys via someone who could literally be anyone that even if she didn't eventually disconnect i am not sure that I would've initiated any real dirty talk.
Anyway, most times the other person is a male, so I just pretend to be a black chick and project how much desire I have with horny talk. I've probably done this a dozen times But the novelty wears off if some of these guys are being uncreative or stupid.
I often get a chance to confess that I was just a roleplaying white guy and sometimes they did not immediately disconnect, and they take it all in stride.
I feel bad for lying tho. I think of Jordan B. Peterson's quote "Tell the truth, or at least don't lie and that's a start."
Apparently black chicks who fetishize white guys, even if they aren't total muscular studs with Greek statue faces, is a lot more widespread than I ever thought. I probably only developed this preference because of how consistently I have been getting hit on and teased by black women over the past several years (I am 29 and a kissless virgin and I aspire to settle down with my future wife) and I started asking questions about what the hell was going on "why do black girls hit on me so much" and I came down a rabbit hole about this phenomenon.
Yeah, but a lot of live-action porn spewed around the Internet is fake. A lot of the people you see there could've just met that day and are full of disease from fucking strangers.
